Chapter Text
After practice he got dinner with Bokuto and Kuroo. They offered to treat him and Oikawa fixed them with an unimpressed gaze. He was sure it was because they were dying to know what happened, the gossip queens. But easily he gave them a rundown and a simplification of all his feelings and the situation.
Kuroo gave a low whistle before he picked another bite from his plate. “Well, that’s a mess.”
“You know usually you’re snarking around wisdom like a seventy-year-old man.” Oikawa groused “And now when I need it, you say something like that?”
He shrugged, non-plussed. “It be like that.”
Bokuto was oddly quiet, gold eyes fixed on his drink. He frowned and was grumbling in a low tone. Oikawa and Kuroo blinked at each other then turned with interest and anticipation. Bokuto rubbed a hand into his hair, eyebrows pushed in concentration. Then he snapped a finger. “Aha!”
Kuroo leaned back with a small frown at the sudden outburst but across the table Oikawa’s eye’s sparkled with expectancy. “Yes?!”
“You’re melancholy. That’s what you’re feeling, melancholy.” He grinned widely. He then began hooting “Hey, hey. I was able to finally use that word. Hey!”
Oikawa’s eyes twitched before he dropped his head on the table. Kuroo’s mouth curled into a long-amused grin. “I would hardly count that as a sentence.”
“Shut up, it absolutely is!”
Kuroo reached across the table to pat Oikawa’s head. “Don’t mind.”
The burnet let out a long self-deprecating groan. “I don’t know what to doooo anymore.”
Bokuto pulled out his phone and began texting. As he did so he spoke. “You know I really think you just need to nose-dive into this. I get being scared and not wanting to ruin a friendship. But it’s already starting to ruin.” Oikawa stiffened and frowned. But before he could say anything Bokuto pushed on. “I’m not saying it’s your fault or even the fault of just one thing. But at this point, you telling him. Can it really make anything worst, or only better?” He looked up from his phone with a sharp gaze, one closely similar to when he was on the court.
Oikawa pushed his lips together. “It’s not that easy.”
“No, it’s not.” Kuroo hummed in agreement. “And it’s kinda the worst feeling in the world. Being so close to someone and loving them for so long. Maybe you even feel guilty, like you’ve betrayed them in some way; you were only supposed to be friends and now you’ve gone and ruined it with your feelings. All because you love them more than a friend should?” Kuroo leaned forward and began spinning the straw in his tea. “It’s like holding a stick of dynamite, knowing you have this one piece of information that can blow you guys apart. But maybe you’ll realize it wasn’t dynamite, but a candle. And even better, you find something a lot brighter with it.”
He smiled gently, then leaned back with a shrug. “Eh, but that’s just me. What do I know about falling in love with a childhood friend?”
Oikawa blinked and smiled softly. The sap.
“Huh, that doesn’t make sense.” Bokuto interjected.
“Hhmm.”
“What did you find that was brighter than a candle? Where are you, why don’t you have a flashlight instead?’
Kuroo scratched the side of his face with a long finger. “Dunno, a star?”
“Where the hell are you going to get a star from?!”
“Ugh I don’t know, maybe on the moon?”
As the two continued on Oikawa mused over what they had said. A star. He couldn’t help the gratified smile that came over him.
Dorks.
“I know I don’t usually say this but . . . Iwaizumi you look like shit.”
Iwaizumi looked up from his barely eaten bento box and glared balefully. “Thanks Suga. And since you do hardly say things like that, I feel it’s weight ten times over.”
“Don’t mind.” Daichi sighed as he sat next to the wing spiker. “Suga is especially sassy when he has peer essays to do.”
The silvered haired man shrugged. “If I need to be brutally honest, it might as well be with everything.” Then he spotted something across the quad and waved enthusiastically.
Daichi’s warm eyes were patiently roaming over Iwaizumi’s face and body language. Iwaizumi glanced up then back to his food. “What is it?”
“Well, he’s pretty spot on, you don’t look good.” He’s brows pinched in concern. “Have you slept at all?”
“A few hours here and there.” He admitted. He liked Daichi and always found it hard to lie to the man, far too honest and upright. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing?” He raised a brow. He glanced up at whoever Suga had waved over then focused back on his friend. “Sleepless nights aren’t nothing.”
“I just, have a small issue I’m trying to work through. I’m handling it.”
“Whatever you’re doing doesn’t seem to be ‘handling it’.”
“It’s personal.” He tried again mentally cursing persistent crows.
“Ah.” He nodded then gave a sigh. “So, what mischief has our Royal Pain in the Ass been up to.”
Iwaizumi glanced away, not used to having his thoughts easily recognized. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“-Oikawa-san.”
Iwaizumi whipped his head up at the name. “What?”
Seated next to Suga was a young man with messy black hair just falling over sharp blue eyes holding a phone. He moved his gaze from Suga to Iwaizumi with a questioning expression. “Hmm?”
“Sorry, uh, what about Oikawa?”
Suga looked far too amused and interested as he started introductions. “Akaashi, this is Iwaizumi. He’s also from Miyagi and played with Oikawa. Iwaizumi this is Akaashi, he was on Bokuto’s team in high school.”
“Oh you’re Akaashi. Nice to meet you.” Iwaizumi gave a slight smile, hoping to come off as reassuring. “I’ve heard from Bokuto and Kenma about you.”
Akaashi’s face became slightly pained. “Ah, I’m sure Kozume-san had all nice things to say.” He said dryly. Then tilted his head in interest. “I’ve heard of you as well from Bokuto and Oikawa. But, uh.”
Iwaizumi felt a pit in his stomach, Daichi gave him a supportive pat. “That bad, huh?”
Akaashi blinked and met his eyes. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just that by the way Oikawa spoke I had assumed Iwa-chan was a female.”
There was a beat of silence before Suga and Daichi erupted into laughter. Those bastards. Iwaizumi felt his face flush and he felt his shoulders hunch. “No, I’m definitely male. It’s just a childhood nickname.”
Akaashi glanced around the table, landing his gaze on Iwaizumi’s slumped shoulders. “I’m sorry if what I said is insulting but being mistaken for female shoul-“
“No, no, you didn’t say anything wrong.” Iwaizumi grunted and shook off Daichi who was still wheezing.
Suga joyfully put an arm around Akaashi. “Yeah, speak more Akaashi. You say the best things.”
Iwaizumi griped about nicknames and how this always happened but Daichi brought the conversation back together. “Akaashi, sorry but what about Oikawa?”
“Bokuto-san is having lunch with him and Kuroo. He was very happy to use one of his targeted vocabulary words in the conversation they had. Though I feel the context is not the best.”
“Ah, well you never know what to expect with Bokuto.” Daichi sighed as Suga nodded along. Iwaizumi glanced down at his food. Oikawa was fine. Oikawa was with Kuroo and Bokuto. He was fine and Iwaizumi just had to-
“What was the word?” Suga as curiously.
He glanced back down to his phone. “Melancholy.”
Everyone in the table froze. Suga looked concern. “Come again?”
“He said ‘Oikawa is feeling melancholy.’ Then he said ‘We took Oikawa out to eat because he is feeling melancholy.’” He looked up. “I suspect he changed his sentence because Kuroo must have pointed out the first one was hardly a sentence, let alone a good one.”
“Eh, I can see that.” Suga sighed, slightly amused by Akaashi’s cool behavior. “I think you were right about context though.”
“Hmm?”
Daichi was looking at Iwaizumi with concern. He looked as though he had swallowed his chopsticks. Abruptly he stood, mumbling a low ‘excuse me’ and began to leave.
Daichi gave him a moment but followed despite his sudden hustle. “Iwa.” He reached him and grabbed his shoulder. “Iwaizumi!”
“What, I’m fine!” He threw his arm back trying to shake him off.
But then Daichi showed his strength, he kept his grip steady and pushed him around to face him. “No. You aren’t!” He said firmly, undeterred by the glare fixed on him. “You haven’t been for months. And you keep swallowing it down, and saying your fine but you’re not. And that’s fine.”
Iwaizumi stiffened.
Daichi lowered his voice but didn’t loosen his grip. His eyes kept Iwaizumi fixed in his spot with an unnerving firmness that was just so whole heartly Daichi. “Whatever you’re going through and whatever you’re feeling is fine. You running away, is not.”
“I’m not trying to runaway but it’s not-“Iwaizumi swallowed thickly. “But it’s not that simple. Or easy. If you let things get so bad you can’t fix it, and it’s damaged then-“
“It’s not about what’s damaged or who’s responsible for the problem. It’s about how you’re going to find the solution.” Daichi interrupted, seeing him shoulder the blame already. “Alone and hope for the best or with the people who care for you and can support you.” He sighed and took his hand back. “Look, I know we haven’t been friends for long so I don’t expect you to spill everything to us. But we can see it and we’re worried. I could only imagine how Matsukawa and Hanamaki are feeling, let alone what our Grand King is feeling. Please don’t cut them out at least.”
Iwaizumi felt a little embarrassed realizing that maybe, he hadn’t fooled anyone. Was it really so plainly all over him? “I-thanks. Daichi, I’m not trying to cut you guys out.”
“Good, because Suga would probably loose it or scheme his way into what’s going on.” The two chuckled.
“Yea don’t want the Silver Devil meddling. Between him and Shittykawa we’d all be in trouble.”
Daichi nodded. “Well make sure you get some rest. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
“Bright and early.” He sighed. He turned back to where he was walking. He knows Daichi is right. Because even if things are shitty, its incomparable to how he feels at the mere thought of not having his friends at all. Of not having Oikawa around at all. It gave him pause and he rubbed at his chest. No, he didn’t like that at all.
And Daichi had said this was for months?
Iwaizumi mused to himself, he needed to think outside a bit more.