Chapter Text
Iono felt like she couldn’t breathe.
She was going to be late .
She was going to be fucking late .
Her manager was gonna kill her and so was Geeta, at least, if there was any part of her left after her manager was finished with her.
She couldn’t bear to look at her phone, not after waking up with it being bombarded with messages by her manager. She hated him, she hated him so much. He was so cruel and mean to her but half the time she was asking for it. She knew what would happen if she talked back but she still did. She would have never made it this far if it weren’t for him puppeteering her around like a ragdoll but she still hated how he was sometimes.
Always too close to her, picking out outfits that she wasn’t exactly comfortable wearing, controlling what she said and did, and nitpicking every little thing she did no matter how small. Even how she wore her hair up when she was sleeping. It was ridiculous! Or at least it felt ridiculous.
If she wasn’t careful with what she said, what she wore, and what she did she’d be considered a whore .
Luckily, she wasn’t as gifted as other women, sometimes she felt jealous in those aspects, but she knew it was wrong to feel that way. If she were as ‘gifted’ as them then all she had to do was wear anything that was tight she would be a whore so she dressed like a child instead, accentuating her already small frame
Iono didn’t want to be a whore, but people still called her that despite how badly she avoided it. Her manager always said that she chose outfits that made her look like one, so she let him choose for her. She didn’t want to disappoint Geeta or the other gym leaders more than she already had. She wanted to be good , she wanted to be good enough for them , for everyone .
She’d do whatever she had to do to be good , even if that meant she had to give up some of her own choices and let someone decide for her. Even if it meant she had to be puppeteered like a ragdoll.
Iono desperately craved to be good and feel like she deserved to stand with those around her. But no matter what she did it was never good enough, her manager told her so and she believed him.
Her manager knew best what was best for her, that was one thing she was sure of.
So Iono kept on running and running, hoping that she wouldn’t be too late for the conference on account of her own failure.
Failure wasn’t an option.
Geeta let out a sigh as she stared out at the rowdy crowd, checking her watch again. Ten minutes late, Iono was ten minutes late and the audience was starting to get restless.
At the back end of the large room stood a large wooden stage with a long table spanning across it, there were eight seats behind it, with one left empty. Behind the stage were black curtains hanging from the railing of the stage, a door hidden behind them.
In front of the stage there laid two groups of chairs, a path separating them in the middle. In the audience sat fervent locals and fans alike excited for a chance to ask their favorite or their most hated gym leader a question. The layout was like one seen at conventions with a row of voice actors for a show, except this setting was more professional, with interviewers and fans alike in the audience.
But the issue was, one of the gym leaders was missing and they couldn’t start the show without her. At this point, she was about to just start the conference with or without her. So with a sigh, the champion approached the podium at the end of the stand and opened her mouth to speak.
“ ‘ELLOOOOOO EVERYONE !” As if she had sensed it, the door slammed open and on shaky feet the missing gym leader walked in, wearing an innocuous grin on her face. Spying the almost hidden microphone attached to her head Geeta shook her head with a sigh, wondering why she even questioned the young girl in the first place. Iono wouldn’t be Iono if she didn’t plan something without asking or clearing it up with her in the first place.
Typical .
The cotton candy girl twirled on her distressed feet, feeling her blood pumping in her ears as she stumbled her way through her entrance with a false smile. “‘Ello, hola! Ciao and bonjour!”
Iono waved her hands as she walked through the row of chairs, posing for the occasional picture and ignoring the glares people were giving her. Just smile and bear it, it doesn't matter in the end. .
Questions bombarded her at every side, they made her head swim and made uneasiness swirl in her chest. The feeling reminded her of her first time on stage, the anxiety she felt about whether or not she’d see her parents in the audience and if she’d do good enough. She won, but her parents were too busy staring at their phones to witness it.
Cameras flashed and made her vision dance with dots and she smiled through it all, despite how loopy it all made her feel. She was in her own form of hell.
“ Sorrryyy I’m late! But you know what they say! ‘A queen is never late, everyone is simply early’ !” Some of the audience members chattered amongst themselves as gasps filled the room and she felt the glares grow even harsher on her. Ignore it, ignore it , she reminded herself as she stumbled her way down the walkway.
She hesitated to look up at the stage where La Primera and the other gym leaders were, to see how badly they judged her for being so late. She didn’t want to see their disappointed faces, especially Katy’s. The bug-type gym leader was always so kind and gentle to those around her, so kind and gentle to someone like her . She was nothing like Grusha who had grown cold over the years and lashed out at everyone around him, Katy was the exact opposite.
She was motherly and caring, she cared for her Pokemon like they were her children and welcomed people with open arms. Iono wanted the best for Katy, she deserved the best. She’s sure if the woman were to ever have children they’d be smothered with love, and deep down she was jealous of that, she knew it all too well. She always wanted her mother to be like Katy, but she never was and …
Iono had already disappointed her own mother, so she couldn’t bare the thought of disappointing someone as warmhearted and tender as Katy. So she trudged on, refusing to look towards the stage and see the sad expression the mint-haired woman would wear.
Her legs wobbled with uncertainty as she took an unsteady step up one of the treads of stairs, her cloth-covered hand hovering over the handrail.
Just two more to go , she reminded herself as she clenched her sharpened teeth, and then I just have to make it to my chair and I’m good!
But an idiot like herself was useless when it came to anything other than performing.
She climbed up the other tread with ease, but right as she rose a quivering leg to take that last step her foot got caught underneath the stair’s nosing. Iono barely had enough time to comprehend what was happening before she tripped over that last step and came face-first with the metal leg of the table.
The next moment was a blur of events. Pain bloomed in her head, consuming her mind like how light absorbs the darkness of a dimly lit room. A noise ripped itself from out her throat, tearing up her vocal cords like a paper shredder. The world around her swirled with incoherent sounds and noises sounding like she had dunked her head underneath the water and it was splashing in her ears.
There was a sharp ringing reverberating throughout her brain as she weakly flailed her arms around for purchase on the floor.
Everything hurt .
It was like something with a scythe had gotten into her brain and started tearing it up, leaving no room for mercy it destroyed everything .
Managing to find solid ground, she pushed herself up on lethargic arms, tremors running through her body as she sat onto her knees, the skin scraping against the rough platform of the wooden stage. Iono tried to open her eyes only to find her vision swimming through a blur of bright tye-dye colors and flashes. A flash of red-hot pain invaded her brain and she let out a gargling sound, almost choking on her own saliva that coated her mouth.
She stumbled upwards, grasping blindly at her surroundings until her head hit something again . But this time it was on top of her.
With a high-pitched whine- a sound she knows everyone around her probably despised her for - she fell back on her butt and was drenched in more than just a world of pain.
Water .
Fucking water .
Something solid made contact with her head, falling all around her and bringing her down to the jagged wooden floor with it.
She felt the ground reverberate underneath her, loud noises coming from all around, piercing her skull with every decimal that was created. Light danced around in her vision like stars in the night sky, it reminded her of her recitals. Standing underneath lights that shine bright like the sun alongside lights that lined the apron. Doing her best to play her part without being able to see past the stage, the heat of the rays beating down on her.
Except this time she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle the pressure.
Iono wanted to cry .
She wanted to crawl into a ball and let the ground swallow her whole until she disappeared from earth forever . She was humiliated , she was humiliating everyone around her, her fellow gym leaders, La Primera , everyone .
Silently, she took back all the bad thoughts she had about her manager. He knew best, she was a mess without and she had only proved that to herself.
Her mind was a mess, it was so hard to tell what she was currently feeling. There was a fog over her brain, the pain replaced by mind-numbing hotness all over her skull. Her limbs felt so heavy, like they were weighed down by sandbags.
It was a mess .
She was a mess.
She had made a mess and ruined everything.
She had ruined… What had she ruined again?
For some reason, Iono found it hard to recall it, aside from what felt like a growing flame on her head she felt so woozy all of a sudden.
Where even was she? She should probably open her eyes.
As if sticky honey was weighing down her eyelids, she found it hard to pry them open. A gentle rhythmic tapping against her cheek.
“…Ono…”
Iono let out a deep breath, lightly wiggling her fingers.
“ Io… ”
Clenching her fists, she thickly swallowed as she summoned all the energy she could muster.
“ Iono .”
And opened her eyes.
The faces that greeted her surprised her.
She watched as Larry let out a sigh of momentary contentment before resuming tapping on her cheek. It was kind of irritating if she were, to be honest.
“It’s good to see the boss won’t have to replace you.”
Replace her?! What did that even mean ?!
She tried to ask what he meant but was only able to let out a small squeak.
This got Rika’s attention, who with one look at her let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through her bangs.
“Oh thank god you're awake, I really didn’t want to like actually quit my job and open a bar.”
She stood up straight, looking over to the side and calling out to someone. “Yo Hassel! She’s awake!”
She heard a loud cry from off in the distance followed by the reverberation of steps through the ground. So that’s what the shaking was , she thought, content with her answer.
Rika was replaced by Hassel whose eyes looked puffy and his lip was bitten through by nervousness. She felt a sting of guilt run through her knowing she was directly responsible for his state.
God, she ruined everything again.
“Oh, Iono dear, I’m so glad you’re okay!” Rough, calloused hands gripped tightly at her shoulders, the man’s eyes sparkling with what looked like renewing tears.
“Are you going to cry again?” Larry asked the teacher, and she watched as he sniffed, shaking his head….
Again?
“N… No! Of course not!”
The normal type gym leader let out a sigh, shaking his head. “Look, she’s fine, she’s not even bleeding anymore.”
Yeah, Larry was right, she was fine, she wasn’t even bleeding anymor- Wait! She was bleeding in the first place?!
“I-I was beh… Ble-bleeding?!” Her voice came out so slurred that it made her cringe. It crackled like the sound from an old TV, kind of like the one her grandmother owned. The voice didn’t sound like it belonged to her and she hated it, she hated it with all her heart. She hated all of this.
Tearily, the art teacher nodded, tearing an even bigger hole in her heart as she watched him hold back his tears. “But don’t worry about that! I-it stopped and an ambulance is on its way to come to check you out.”
Hassel’s hand gently drifted against the side of her cheek, cupping it in an almost fatherly gesture. The act made warmth expand in her stomach, blooming like how a flower does in the spring. She craved more of the feeling and had half the mind to lean into it and accept the kindness she was given but she didn’t. Hassel probably did this to anyone who was injured like she was and she had no right to make it out into something it wasn’t .
She didn’t need to ruin things even more.
“A… Ambulance?” She croaked out, the syllables slurring out on her tongue as she had just learned the word.
He nodded, a serious expression on his face. “It’s going to be okay though, the doctor will fix you up real quick!”
She was going to the hospital? The doctor was going to fix her up? She was…
Oh no no no no no no! If her manager got word of this he’d kill her!
Iono moved to sit up but was pushed back by the art teachers hand. Larry had moved aside and Hassel had taken his place in front of her, that annoying tapping on her cheek gone.
“I- Iono! Please don’t move around so much! I don’t know how severe the injury is and I don’t want to risk it!” The art teacher cried, nearly in tears.
Sluggishly she fought back against his hand in a futile attempt to get up, her mind running at a hundred miles an hour. “B-but the conference-”
Did she miss it ? Had she caused it to fail ? Oh it was all her fault, wasn’t it ? Oh, she was sorry , she was so -
“The conference has been moved to another day.”
…Sorry...
“Huhhh?! Whatt’zzza?!” Despite the dragon trainer’s protests, she forced back his hand and shot up from where she was sitting, alarm bells ringing in her ears. Her vision swayed with the movement, the edges burning into each other but she ignored it, focusing on her boss who was standing to the side.
“I’ll handle this incident myself, we’ll most likely try to hold this conference again at the end of this month. But for now, you’ll shut down your gym and focus on recovery,” Geeta spoke as Hassel nodded fervently along with her.
“My advice would be to choose between streaming and being a gym leader, you may be able to have both but that doesn’t mean you can do both.”
“Don’t be too hard on her La Primera, she’s still young,” Katy- the angel of a woman she was- warned, but the champion just shook her head, her disappointment burning into the young girl’s soul.
To anyone else it might have sounded like La Primera was just being concerned, but she knew what it meant. It was times like this when she wished that Geeta could feel the effect of her words. How much her approval meant to her and how much that disappointment destroyed her. It burned a hole in her already shattered self-image, leaving nothing but ashes left, killing her slowly.
Geeta just shook her head at Katy, resting one of her hands flat against her chest.
“She still needs to learn regardless of her age, it’s not an excuse.” She wanted to cry, Iono wanted to cry . She wanted to curl up in a ball of shame where no one could see her and cry .
With a frown, Katy shook her head but didn’t argue against her.
Iono felt ashamed having to have the older woman pick up the pieces for her after she had probably worried her sick about whether she was okay or not. She really didn’t deserve Katy in her life, not someone like her .
“Larry, you can bring Iono to the doctor and then back home since you both were late yourselves.” She looked at the man to see a less-than-pleased expression on his face, that permanent frown still on his face.
“ Great …” That feeling of disappointment was one feeling the two could agree on for once in their lives.
“If you need me, I’ll be filling out papers in my office, I’ll email them all your way so you can fill out an injury incident report as well.” Her tone was smooth and low as usual, not portraying the resentment Iono knew was actually behind it, she knew Geeta resented her for what she did even if she was hiding it so well.
Iono watched as Geeta walked away from the stage, the other gym leaders soon dispersing along with the elite four members as well, until it was only her and Larry left. She let the dread build up on her shoulders as it happened, worrying over everything that was going to come from this inciting incident.
Iono had
failed
everyone
.