Chapter Text
“So, you’ve got no pictures…”
“They all got lost moving”
“Right” Raven says, “no pictures, no social media, no files you can access…is that all?” she finishes listing.
Clarke nods. She watches the apologetic faces of her friends. “No, do not give me that look” Clarke says getting up and starting to pace in the living room. “We have to find another way. How did people find each other when there was no internet?”
“Stalking”
Clarke looks anything but pleased. “Seriously?”
“Sorry” both Raven and Octavia answer in unison.
Clarke and Lexa still hadn’t had any luck in finding Lexa’s sister and Clarke was growing more frustrated by the day. Her wedding day was supposed to be a perfect one and in many ways it would be. But she knew that without Anya there, to Lexa it would be incomplete, as if a part of her was missing.
“Ghost” Raven leans over to whisper in Echo’s ear, making her jump.
Echo slaps her on her head “Stop it, this is serious”
Raven sits up from her place on the couch “Okay” she claps her hands together “you said that the children’s home where Lexa stayed has closed down right?” Clarke nods “But maybe her parents still have a phone number of one of the workers?” she tries “or some social worker’s phone? The one that took Lexa’s case”
Clarke makes a face, impressed. “That’s actually a great idea”
“They don’t call me a genius for nothing” she holds out her hand for Echo to high five which she reluctantly does, making Raven dance a little.
“How’s Lexa doing?” Octavia, the ever serious of the trio, asks.
Clarke throws herself on the armchair with a huff. The pre-wedding stage is honestly draining her of all her energy and now the research is adding to that too. She feels exhausted.
“She’s…dealing” Clarke lets out “We didn’t think it would be easy but…” she runs a hand through her hair “…we weren’t prepared for it to be so difficult”
“That’s understandable” Echo comforts her.
“A picture would have helped for sure” Raven states from her place on the couch. “We could have hung flyers all over the city”
“Is that even legal?” Octavia asks.
“We don’t even know if she lives here. Hell, we don’t even know if she lives in America. She could be all the way across the world for all we know” Clarke reasons, frustrated.
“Let’s focus on finding her whenever she is” Echo reassures her. “Then we can deal on how to get to her”
Clarke nods. “Thanks” she says bashfully.
Knowing she has all these supports helps her and Lexa too.
They’ll find her. She has to tell herself, over and over, hoping that at some points it becomes the truth.
Raven carefully places the box on the table, she moves Taylor’s muffing out of the way, making a note to steal one or two for later and puts the cheesecake down. She frees it of the box and immediately cuts a piece for herself. A mug magically appears next to her and as she looks up, she finds Anya standing next to her, much closer than she expect her to be. Their shoulders touching as they stand next to each other.
“Did you make that?” Anya asks pointing at the cake.
Raven snorts, loudly. “Nope, can’t cook to save my life” she takes the coffee Anya brought for her “I mostly live off take-out food and whatever my best friend’s fiancée cooks”
“That can’t be healthy” Anya reasons frowning.
“Hey, you haven’t tried her food yet” Raven teases.
Anya rolls her eyes, now used to Raven’s jokes. “I meant the take-out part”
Raven just shrugs, “I’ll have to find someone who can cook for me then”
Anya makes a noise, between a grunt and a chuckle but doesn’t add another comment. “So, which one is yours this time?” Raven asks her, gesturing to the variety of food on the table.
Anya clears her throat. “No one actually. I had a late shift and hadn’t had time to cook anything”
“I’m only slightly disappointed” Raven says with a joking tone. “You never told me where you work by the way” Raven points out.
“At the Tale Noir restaurant, you know that one near the art and science museum?”
Raven nods, her eyes shining with delight. She freaking love that restaurant, although it’s expensive as shit. She tells Anya so, leaving the expensive part out “I love that place”
Anya gives her a small smile “Glad you do”
Raven bumps her with shoulder “Does that mean I’m going to eat for free from now on?”
Anya takes a sip of coffee, then smirks. “Only if you order coffee with whatever you eat”
Raven makes an impressed face.
“oh, you’re evil”
Putting the keys on the keychain on the wall, Raven gently closes the door and makes her way into her bedroom. She changes quickly out of her jeans and into more comfortable sweatpants, taking off her shoes and opting to walk barefoot. She knows it will drive Echo mad but she’ll deal with her.
She hears the muffled voices from the tv on the living room meaning that her roommate is home and probably chilling on the couch. She walks on the tip of her feet, trying to make as little noise as possible and then she launches herself on Echo.
Years of experience taught her the art of a smooth landing.
“You’ve got to stop doing that!” Echo protest, slapping her on the ass.
“It’s too much fun” she wiggles her butt into the cushions “I’ll never stop” she says with a cheeky smile. “what are we watching?” she asks turning to the tv.
There’s no answer from Echo and when Raven turns around, she finds the girl looking at her. Echo narrows her eyes, watching her, scrutinizing her. Raven feels a little self-conscious, she tilts her head to the side and hold Echo’s gaze.
“What?” she explodes finally.
“You’re happy” Echo notes, pointing a finger at her “Are you getting laid?” she asks her, accusingly.
“What?” she repeats again, only this time it’s louder.
“You’re glowing these days, so it’s either that or you’re pregnant” Echo’s eyes go up and down her figure, stopping briefly on her stomach. “and I don’t think it’s the last one”
Raven makes a show of patting her belly, caressing it and stroking it. “Who knows? Maybe I’m growing your lil niece in here”
“Niece?” Echo amuses her.
Raven nods “I want a girl”
“Okay, this is getting out of hand” Echo stops Raven’s hands and pulls her shirt down, covering Raven’s previously exposed stomach. “Tell me who it is” she tries again.
“I’m not getting laid. I swear!” Raven tries once again to convince Echo.
“I’m not buying it. You’re hiding something from me” Echo says suspiciously, not letting it go.
Raven laughs at her expenses, enjoying the way frustration grows on Echo’s face.
“I’ll find out eventually”
“mh uh”
“But seriously” Echo continues, watching Raven with soft eyes “you look happier, healthier” she tells her.
Raven inhales, long and deep. “That’s because I am” she confirms “I feel good, happy. Serene” she points a finger in Echo’s direction, in front of her face “but not because I’m getting laid”
“Mhh” Echo narrows her eyes “You know that if you’re hiding something I’ll find out sooner or later, right?”
“Because you’re a snoop?”
“No,” Echo answers without missing a beat “because you have a big mouth and you have a tendency to put a foot in it”
Raven sticks her tongue out. Echo is not wrong, she can’t keep a secret for more than a week, but also, she feels happier. Like everything is falling in place in her life. It’s a good feeling, one she hopes stays there for as long as possible.
It’s kind of funny how just sitting on a chair in the middle of gym can make you feel like a better person. But that what happens to Raven every time she attends a meeting. It’s the community that does it, really, and all the effort they put into everything they do for each other.
She approaches the building with light spirits, she feels good, and she thinks that sooner rather than later she’ll be ready to talk, openly and without fear.
As she gets closer, she sees a lonely figure smoking on the steps that lead into the entrance, and she take a better look she can see it’s Anya.
The girl is curled on herself, so unlike all the other times Raven saw her and she wonders for a moment if something bad happened. Anya’s watching people pass distractedly, so much so that she doesn’t notice Raven approaching until she’s standing right in front of her.
“These things are gonna kill you, you know?” is Raven’s form of greeting. She nods to the cigarettes in Anya’s hand when the girl looks up at her.
Anya takes a drag in response and just shrugs “I’ve tried worse things” she says with a mischievous smile.
Raven chokes on a laugh – she still doesn’t know how to react to Anya’s humor – and sits down next to her, spreading her left leg in front of her.
“What are you doing out here? Hasn’t the meeting started already?” she looks at her watch and, indeed, it’s been ten minutes since the meeting started and Anya looks like she’s been here for more than that.
Anya looks over her shoulder, at the entrance, as if she’s contemplating her next moves, her next words. She sighs when she looks back at Raven as if it’s painful to say her next words.
“I don’t know if I want to go in today” she confesses.
Raven puts a hand on her chest, “We can skip?!” she jokes, eliciting a laugh from Anya, trying to make the moment a little lighter “I though they took presence and made us take a test at the end” she continues.
“You forgot the mid-year exam” Anya smiles at her, drawing on her cigarette and keeping up Raven’s joke.
Raven laughs but she takes in the slump of her shoulder, the bags under her eyes, the way her chest moves with half full breaths. Anya’s tense and the melancholy she seems to carry around is even louder now.
“Rough week?”
Anya nods, throwing the end of her cigarette on the ground stomping it with her shoe. “Something like that, yeah”
“Don’t the meetings help in this case?” Raven asks out of curiosity but also because she knows meetings have a way to lift you up in ways you don’t even know.
“Sometimes they do” the something they don’t is left unspoken, but Raven gets it.
Anya rubs her hand on her thighs, out of nervousness more than coldness and then gets up abruptly. “Are you hungry?” she asks Raven.
Raven is taken aback by the sudden movement but then recover and makes a face, between a funny frown and an offended scowl. “You fool, I always am”
Anya smiles and Raven swoons. “Great, let’s go”
She holds out her hand, helping Raven to stand up. Anya’s palm is soft under her hand, her fingers are callous – from chopping and handling knifes, Raven guesses – but strong.
Raven doesn’t want to let go.
They easily fall into steps, and they only walk ten minutes before they reach Anya’s designed place. It’s an Asian restaurant with mixed cuisine and Raven can already feel her stomach grumbling. After Anya briefly speaks with the person at the counter, they’re led into a two seats table, the waiter leaves them with two menus, one for the food and one for the drink. Anya instantly pushes the drink one towards Raven who waves her hand around.
“You don’t drink?”
Raven drops the food menu enough to peer at Anya over it “It’s fine” she doesn’t want to drink if she’s the only one doing so but also she doesn’t know how she feels drinking in front of Anya.
Anya must realize the situation and clears the air “You can drink in front of me, I won’t turn into Edward Cullen”
“He actually had surprisingly impressive willpower-” she tries to make a joke out of the situation, but Anya doesn’t let her, interrupting her.
“Raven” she admonishes her.
Raven turns serious and puts her hand on Anya, enjoying the way Anya seem to shiver at the contact. “Seriously, it’s fine. I don’t feel like drinking anyway and I drove here so…”
Anya seems to accept her reasoning because she lets it drop. They order as soon as they catch the waiter’s attention, kung pao chicken and pad thai for Raven and fried rice with pork for Anya, they share a bottle of water and a coke.
They eat in relative silence, broken only by Raven’s comments on the food and Anya’s description of the dishes.
Only when their bellies are full (Raven) and they order dessert (Anya) the conversation picks up again.
“How did you end up as a sous chef?”
Anya takes a spoonful of her mochi and if Raven follows the way her lips close over the spoon no one can blame her. “I started when I was trying to get clean. A friend of mine had a little restaurant and needed some help” she recounts “I needed the money, so we helped each other out. Turns out I was actually good, and I also loved it so I kept doing it” she finishes. “How about you?”
“oh, I had fun hacking into my friend’s phones and now I work in cyber security” Raven shrugs.
When she was in high school, she used to sneak into her friends’ phones to gather materials so she could blackmail them when she needed to. It was harmless joking – although her friends wouldn’t agree with her – and she never blackmailed them for nothing more than a few innocent favors here and there but it made her realize how much she loved those kind of things.
Anya chuckles, “a funnier story than mine, for sure”
“Mh, I bet you kept all the funny details to yourself”
Anya snorts, shaking her head “I really didn’t”
Raven holds her hand up in a I tried manner and leans her elbows on the table, resting her head on her right hand. “Do you have any siblings?”
It’s a simple question, an easy one for most people, and Raven doesn’t think too much when asking but Anya freezes for a second, her breath getting stuck in her lungs. Raven is about to apologize when she speaks “yeah” that’s all she says and then she gives her a sad smile “you?”
“I don’t” Raven takes a sip of water, wetting her lips “but I have friends that I love like siblings. Oh, and one of them is getting married!” she adds excitedly. They don’t have a date for the wedding yet but still, Clarke and Lexa are getting married.
“That’s lovely”
Raven nods “yup, they’re one of these annoyingly couple who can never stay more than five feet apart but they’re great. And Lexa makes Clarke very happy so we’re happy as well”
Anya stills again. The fingers wrapped around her glass becomes white from the grip and the muscle on her jaw tightens. It’s like she’s trying to maintain control but finding it extremely difficult to do so. Her eyes are fixated on the corner of the table and they are hard, there’s a silent storm behind them.
“You okay?”
Anya clears her throats, sits better – taller- on the chair. “Yeah, sorry. So Clarke and…Lexa…” she takes a pause before saying the name, as if she’s afraid of how it tastes on her tongue “…are getting married”
“yup, in about four months” Raven gulps down the rest of her water. Happy at the thought of her friends finally tying the knot.
Anya gives her a fixed smile, her jaw now suddenly more tense than before. “that’s lovely” she repeats once again, short on words.
She takes a sip of water. She looks nervous, Raven notices, like she’d rather sit somewhere but there. She doesn’t understand, she didn’t say anything wrong – that she can think of – and the dinner has been good so far. They ate good food, they chatted of anything and nothing, it’s been…good.
So, Raven doesn’t get it.
Anya excuses herself to the bathroom, making a screeching sound as the chair gets moved backward. Raven nods and takes the opportunity to answer a few unread texts, two from Echo and one from Clarke.
When Anya gets back, the bill is on their table – the waiter must have brought it without Raven noticing it – and the blonde goes to reach for it but Raven stops her, putting a hand on hers.
“I got it” Raven tugs the bill from the woman’s grip “I still owe you for breakfast” she explains.
Anya raises her hands in a surrender gesture and lets Raven take the lead.
Soon they make their way out of the restaurant, and they’re welcomed by the chilly air of the night.
Anya keeps her hand on her jacket’s pockets, trying to keep the warmth inside. Raven imitates the gesture, more because an awkward silence has fallen between them than because of the cold.
Raven is the first to speak again, clearing her throat. “I had a great time and I…” she bites her lips nervously, “I hope it helped you get your mind off from whatever was bothering you” she admits.
“It did” she confirms. She tilts her head, watching as Raven shuffles nervously from one foot to the other “Thank you” she adds.
“My pleasure” Raven answer quickly.
Anya gesture with a thumb behind her shoulder, “I should go”
“Do you want me to give you a lift?”
Raven offers but Anya is shaking her head before she’s even finishing her question. “I could use a walk”
“Okay.”
They had a good time, it was easy talking to Anya besides a few awkward moments, dinner went smoothly and she looks forward to spending more time with the other woman. She’s intrigued by her, they only scraped the surface of a new – she hopes friendly – connection but she can feel there is something more underneath and Raven can’t wait to discover it all.
“Goodnight Raven”
Anya’s voice cuts through the night, although it’s soft and low, it reverbs through the cold air. It feels as if she’s saying goodbye more than goodnight but Raven doesn’t dwell too much on it and instead parrots back her word.
“Goodnight”
Raven watches her as she walks away, hands in her pockets and shoulder hunched, melancholy following behind.