Chapter Text
Bruce felt a headache forming. He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, not wanting to show any weakness to the enemy.
Jason held a younger doppelganger of himself by the neck as the boy hissed and protested the treatment.
Then his son, his miracle child who had returned from the dead, started talking.
“Hey, B, you know how you completely fucked up with me after I died and came back to life?”
Bruce did not like where this was going. Jason held the boy toward Bruce.
“Congrats, you get a do-over.”
“Hey, I’m nobody’s do-over,” the boy protested.
Bruce finally gave in and pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to alleviate the pounding headache.
“And this asshole reeks of a billionaire fruit loop. Who the fuck is he?”
“Language,” Bruce automatically said.
“Fuck you, you’re not my dad!”
Jason shook the boy, “Actually, he’s my dad, so, in a way, he is your dad.”
“Jason, explain.”
“Wow,” the boy said, “are you their dad or sergeant? ‘Jason, explain.’” The boy deepened his voice to mock Bruce.
Bruce heard chuckles from his other two children, and he glared at them. They full-on laughed at him. Why did his children have to be immune to the Batman glare™? Most of the Justice League feared his glare, but his children treated it like a joke.
“Wow, look at Mr. Dark and Broody over there trying to scare kids with his scowly face. Does that ever actually work on anyone ‘cuz you look ridiculous, tbh.”
Bruce sighed, “Can someone just tell me what’s going on?”
“Long story short, Old Man, he’s an alternate version of me,” Jason said while the kid waved. “His name is Danny.”
“Hi, my parents had to help me escape through a portal to the afterlife that they built in their basement ‘cuz an evil government organization is trying to experiment on me and end my half-life.”
It’s rare for Bruce’s mind to go blank, but it did happen.
“What?”
Danny sighed and turned to Jason, “Wow, I can see he is your dad. He’s as dense as you are.”
“Hey, he adopted me! And I’m not dense!”
Danny rolled his eyes, “Sure you’re not. And of course, there’s a billionaire that adopted you. Let me guess,” he turned toward Bruce, “you have a huge mansion shaped like a castle with a lair in your basement full of gadgets and whatnots.”
“It’s a manor,” he answered absentmindedly.
“Ha, so you do have a secret lair in your basement! I knew it. All billionaires are fruit loops.”
“Can someone just tell me what’s going on, please,” Only his children can make Bruce feel so out of control of a situation.
____
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose after hearing Danny’s story.
An alternate version of Jason (who had also died and came back) and was now in Gotham because he was ‘bored.’
“Why did you decide to come here,” Bruce asked, tired.
“Ugh, I already told you I’m running away from—”
“No, not that, I understand that, but why did you decide to come to this dimension? And don’t say boredom. I know that wasn’t it.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?”
Bruce’s children laughed though Dick had the decency to at least pretend he was coughing.
Bruce wanted to sigh but held off; he couldn’t risk showing any weakness to the boy…a boy who looked just like Jason the year he had died…no, don’t think about that.
“Okay, ok. We need to get back to the cave so I can run some tests,” as soon as the words were out of Bruce’s mouth, Danny disappeared in front of his eyes.
“What d’you mean ‘run tests?’”
“Smooth, B,” Jason said wryly, “He doesn’t mean experiments. He just wants to make sure you’re fine.”
Jason was following the empty air in such a way that told Bruce that Jason knew exactly where Danny was.
Interesting.
“It’s just that Bruce is an idiot that doesn’t know how to act human.”
“Hn,” Bruce grunted, offended.
“Listen,” Danny’s voice seemed to echo from all over the room, “in my experience, billionaires are not to be trusted. They’re evil assholes who want to kill your dad, marry your mom, and make you their evil protégé/son. Or, barring that, they clone you a lot. So, no, I don’t think I’ll be going to your evil lair in your basement to ‘run tests.’”
Bruce’s mind blanked a second time. What?
“What,” his children echoed his thoughts.
“Okay, kid, I have no idea what other shit you’ve gone through, and really, we gonna have to talk about that, but B ain’t like that. He can be an asshole and a stubborn jackass, but he would never intentionally hurt you.”
There was silence for a while. If it weren’t for the chill in the air, Bruce would’ve been inclined to believe that Danny had left.
“You promise,” came a shy voice from his right.
“Promise, kiddo.”
It took another tense minute before Danny showed himself.
“Fine, I’ll go with you guys. But the minute I see anything wonky, I’m leaving.”
“Deal,” Jason agreed.
____
“Is that a dinosaur?! That’s so cool!”
Danny’s mouth had fallen open when he caught sight of the Batcave. Bruce felt a warmth in his chest that always bloomed whenever he showed his life’s work to someone.
Danny floated up and took hold of the whole cave from an aerial standpoint.
“I gotta admit, for a fruit loop, your place is actually cool.”
“Thank you,” Bruce said while going to the Batcomputer.
“Why do you need such a big computer, anyway?”
Because Bruce liked being dramatic.
“It helps me see the evidence better,” he answered.
“Huh,” Danny flew through the cave and, at one point, decided to annoy the bats that lived on the cave’s roof.
Eventually, the boy flew to solid ground and looked at Bruce.
“So, what do these, uh, tests consist of? Are there needles involved?”
Bruce made a note that Danny had trypanophobia.
“No, no needles. I need you to hold on to this machine so I can determine which dimension you’re from and how it differs from ours.”
Danny’s eyes widened at Bruce’s explanation.
“You can do that?”
“Yes,” was Bruce’s reply.
“Hm, dimension WO-3175,” code for no Justice League or other heroes they knew about. There were no aliens, no metahumans, and no heroes (except for Danny.)
“Great, is that it?” Danny asked.
Bruce looked at the boy and got a piece of hair.
“Ow, what was that for?”
“Tests,” Bruce answered while putting the hair in a tube to be analyzed on the Batcomputer.
“You coulda warned a guy,” Danny grumbled.
Alfred came down the stairs carrying a tray with snacks and tea.
“Hello, Master Danny, my name is Alfred, and I am the butler of the Wayne family. Can I interest you in some snacks?”
Twenty minutes later, there was a result. Danny’s DNA matched Jason even if a few things were different in Danny’s results.
Bruce sighed and stared at the boy. He was listening to Tim’s stories with rapt attention.
Bruce already felt a bit attached to the boy. He wondered if he could convince Danny to stay…just until his parents could come to get him.
Yes, that seemed like a good plan.