Chapter Text
Carina's P.O.V.
Maya insists on drying my body and I’m not about to tell her no. With my eyes closed, hands resting on her shoulders for balance, I relish the electric feeling that her hands leave as they ghost over every part of my body. I notice that she has finished and open my eyes to look at her, but she seems to be lost in thought. I watch as her eyes map over my entire body and I know what she is thinking. I reach my hands out to cup her face and tilt her head up to look at me. Looking into her eyes, I see nothing but love.
"I love you." I whisper, with a smile on my lips.
"I love you."
I feel her hands on the sides of my stomach as she places several kisses over our child. I smile and close my eyes at the sentiment.
"We love you and can't wait to meet you baby." she says softly.
Oh, how all of those words were true.
I open my eyes when I hear her get up, taking note of the loud popping sound that comes from her knees, but say nothing. Since when did they start doing that?
She wraps her arms around my waist and leans to press several kisses to my lips. I'll never get tired of kissing her.
"How are you feeling?"
Truthfully, I feel fine, aside from the nerves. A slight draft blows across my body and I shiver a bit, I need clothes.
I ask her to get a t-shirt and pants and she heeds my request. My eyes follow her as she walks into our bedroom and I take note of how good her ass looks in those jeans. In the last few months, my hormones have kicked into overdrive and I haven't been able to get enough of my wife.
She comes back with the clothes I asked for and I reach to take them, she pulls her hand away keeping them just out of my reach. What the hell?
"What are you doing?"
"You just stand there and look pretty, I'll put your clothes on you."
I shake my head. I'm perfectly capable of dressing myself, thank you very much.
"Bambina no, I can dress myself." I retort, reaching forward yet again to grab the clothes
"I know you can, but you are getting ready to do one of the hardest things of your life, let me do this for you.”
I can't argue with that. As a doctor, I know that what I'm getting ready to do is going to push me to my breaking point. Also, I haven't been able to reach my calves in weeks, so getting anywhere close to my feet without the use of the bed is a no.
"Okay."
"All right, you know the drill. Arms through the holes and then up." she states with her "authoritative" tone and I giggle.
"Sir, yes sir." I say while doing a mock salute.
She quickly slips the shirt over my head and steals a kiss when my head appears through the hole.
"Use my shoulders to balance yourself again. I'm gonna get you in your pants, one foot at a time, okay?"
I nod and place my hands on her shoulders as she kneels down. She waits until I have my balance before asking for my left foot and then my right. As she stands, she tugs my pants the rest of the way up and I notice her wince as her knees sound like someone popping bubble wrap. She is constantly reminding me that I'm older than her, but my knees weren't making that sound. I can't help myself, I have to tease her.
"Sounds like you're getting a little old there bambina." I say, as a chuckle escapes my mouth.
"Hahaha. You think you’re so funny. And that's Deluca-Bishop to you."
Yes, it definitely is. I love that we hyphenated our last names; it's as if we have equal parts of each other.
"Damn right it is." I confirm
"Let's get you settled somewhere. Where do you want to be?"
I really wanted to lay in bed, but I know that I could possibly be spending a lot of time in bed in the coming hours and my back aches a little. The couch sounds like the best option for now.
Maya leads me to the couch and I settle in the best I can. I ask her to get me some water and just as she is handing it to me, I’m hit with my second contraction. I shut my eyes and take a breath and blow it out slowly. It isn't painful, just feels like a severe period cramp, if only they would stay that way.
As my eyes land on Maya, she is looking at her watch and noting the time.
"They are about 30 minutes apart, right?" she enquires and I simply confirm her question with a nod
There's no denying it, I'm officially in labor. I realize that we have yet to call Jo to let her know what's happening and I have to call my papa and fratellino. I ask Maya if she would go call Jo and I would take care of my family. She disappears into our bedroom in search of our phones, she returns and hands me my phone and stating she would go back to the bedroom to call Jo.
"Thank you. You know that my papa and Andrea are going to be ecstatic when I tell them it's happening, right? It's going to be impossible to keep them away."
She gives a small laugh. "Oh, I'm aware. I will be right back, but if you need me just yell."
"I'll be fine." I promise
Maya retreats into our bedroom and I hear the door click shut softly. Taking a steadying breath, I prepare myself for the two phone calls I’m about to make. I'm not sure which one of them is going to freak out more when I tell them that I'm in labor. I decide to call my papa first.
I listen to the phone ring and she picks up on the fourth ring.
"Tesoro, how are you?" his clam voice reaches my ears.
Here goes nothing.
"I'm good. Actually, I'm great. My water broke about an hour ago and I've had two contractions. You’re gonna be a nonno today."
My answer is met with complete silence; I pull my phone away and look at it to make sure that the call is still connected, it is. I think I may have broken my papa.
"Papa, you there?"
"I'm here." he says so quietly that I almost don't hear her "you’re sure? It's really happening?"
"Pretty sure."
"Oh, Carina." she says around a sniffle "you’re going to be a mamma soon."
"I don't think I have exactly processed that, Maya either."
"Are you doing okay though?" he questions
"I'm okay. The contractions aren't painful yet, but I know that's going to change soon." I said with a small voice
"It will, but you'll be fine. You can do this, you’re strong."
"I hope you're right."
"You are; all of the pain will be forgotten the moment you hold your bambino, I promise. Have you talked to Andrea yet?"
"No. You’re my first call. Do you want him to come and get you?"
"That's fine. What should we do to help when we get your place?"
I realize that after Maya and I decided that we wanted to experience this life changing event together, I had totally forgotten to tell my papa and Andrea.
"Yeah, about that. Please don't be mad, but Maya and I just want to do this by ourselves. It's not that we don't want you here, we just feel like it's something we need to experience together as a couple."
"I completely understand. I'm not mad, but you know you are going to have a hard time convincing Andrea to stay away, right?" She says laughing
"Thank you for understanding. I know, I was hoping that you both could stay at his place and we will call when the baby arrives."
"I think that will work. I will keep your fratello reigned in."
"Good luck with that. I will have Andrea get in touch with you and you two can work out the details of him coming to get you."
"That works. I'm so excited!"
"Me too, I'm going to call him and let him know what's going on."
"Bene. You've got this, Carina. I love you."
"I love you too papa."
After telling my papa bye, I prepare myself for my next call.
Hitting Andrea's contact icon, I lift my phone to my ear and wait. Just when I think it's going to go to voicemail, Andrea answers
"Hey, Carina."he’s breathless
"Hey. What are you doing?"
"Nothing." he answered quickly
Yeah, no. I'm not buying that, but I don't have the energy to drag the truth out of him.
"Uh huh, sure." I quip
"What's going on? You don't usually call this early in the morning?" he tries to divert
"Oh you know, just in labor."
"Cosa?"
"Yep. My water broke about an hour ago and I've had two contractions."
The excited yell that Andrea lets out has me pulling my phone away from my ear quickly and holding it at arm’s length. When he seems to have settled, I hesitantly bring my phone back to my ear.
"Carina! I'm going to be an zio today?!" he all but yells
"Sì."
"Oh my god! This is so exciting!"
"It is. Listen, I just got off the phone with papa and I'm hoping that you can go and get him?" I ask hopeful
"Sure! I'll call him and tell him I'm on my way, we can be at your place in an hour or so."
"About that. I love you, but this is something Maya and I want to do alone."
"What?"
I hang my head at the hurt I hear in his voice. I know he is excited to become an uncle and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings, but I'm not going to back down on this.
"It's not that we don't want you here, it's just that Maya and I want to do this by ourselves, it's something we feel we need to do together. I thought that you and papa could stay at your place, that way when the baby gets here, you aren't that far away."
"Okay." he says in a defeated tone and I picture him digging at the ground with the toe of his shoe like a kid.
"It's nothing personal Andrea, I promise."
"I know, it's just I was hoping to be able to do something to help you through this."
"Having you and papa close by will help." I say, hoping that will suffice
"Okay. I'm going to call papa and get plans made for going to get him."
"Have I ever told you how great of a sorella you are?"
"Maybe once or twice."
"We will update you from time to time as to what's happening."
"Grazie! You're going to be just fine Carina. I love you."
"Love you too Andrea."
After hanging up, I suddenly feel very sleepy, so I lay my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes. I hear Maya walking across the floor and brush past me, as she makes her way to my left side.
"I talked to Jo and she said to call her when the contractions are closer together and she would come over. She also said that we should get some sleep while there are still big gaps between them." she says gently, as I feel the couch dip as she sits down.
A nap sounds amazing right now; I know I'm going to need all the energy I can get for the task that lies ahead of me.
"I think that sounds good. We will need our strength for when things start to get really intense."
"Did you talk to your dad and Andrew?"
"Oh yes. Andrea's ill that I told him that we would keep them updated, but that we wanted to be by ourselves. he was going to go and get papa and they were going to wait at Andrea's."
"he'll get over being mad when he gets to hold his niece or nephew."
"Definitely" I confirm
"What do you say want to go lay down for a while?"
"Yes please."
Maya stands up and she offers me her hands to help pull me up. I haven't been able to get up off the couch without help for nearly two months now; it's incredibly embarrassing and frustrating. Once I'm finally on my feet and steady, we make our way to the bedroom. Maya turns down the covers and helps me ease down to lay on my left side; she disappears from my view as she walks around the bed to climb under the cover too.
I feel her scoot across the bed and her chests mold around my back; the heat from her body helps ease some of the ache in my lower back. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her prop her head up to look at me and kiss my cheek, as I start to feel a tightening sensation low in my stomach.
"Here comes one."
She says nothing, but she slips her right hand into mine and squeezes. I take calm and steadying breaths as I try to blow over the pain. The contraction lets up quickly and I’m thankful.
"It's over."
I see her check her watch to time it, but I don't ask how long since the last contraction.
"Do you want or need anything my love?"
I have her; I have all I could possibly ever need to do this.
"Only you."
"How about we try to nap." I hear her say, as I fight to keep my eyes open "wake me up if you need me, okay?"
I love my wife, I do. But damn it, she needs to be quiet so I can fall asleep before I wake up too much.
"Maya?"
"Yeah?"
"Please be quiet."
I feel her shake a little with laughter as she settles down behind me and rests her right hand on my stomach, rubbing soothing circles.
I'm pulled from a very nice dream of Maya and I lying on a beach, by the feeling of a vice grip around my stomach. I let loose a low groan, surprised by the contractions' intensity, while gripping Mays's hand. I feel her shift behind me to sit up and she brushes the hair out of my eyes, as the contraction lets up rather quickly, but that one packed a little bit of a punch.
"That one was more painful."
"How close are they?"
I have no idea; I had been able to sleep through the others.
"I'm not sure. That was the only one to wake me up. How long did we sleep?"
“Almost two hours."
Only two hours, that's it? I sigh heavily, rolling onto my back and try to sit up but fail; I should have known I couldn't sit up on my own. Maya takes my right hand and uses her left to push on my lower back to help me get up right. I know she is thinking about saying something along the lines of me looking like a turtle stuck on its' back. This is so not the time.
"Don't you dare say it." I state flatly
"What?"
"You know what." I reply, as I glare at her and she reaches for our phones.
"Good lord, your dad and brother are blowing our phones up."
I laugh at her words and she looks at me.
"You seemed surprised by that." I quipped
We relax in bed for a little over an hour and during that time; I have seven more contractions, which are increasingly becoming more painful. These aren't even the really strong ones that I know are going to come, how am I going to get through this? Maya calls Jo to tell her what was happening, as I send a text to mom to tell her that things were moving along. Maya says that Jo would be here as soon as she could, when she did arrive roughly thirty minutes later, I was riding out a particularly rough contraction on my hands and knees on the bed. When it passes I lay down and roll onto my back to let Jo check my progress.
"You’re moving along nicely. Halfway there and fully effaced. You’re in active labor now."
Halfway. I'm halfway through one of the most painful things I'm ever going to experience.
"See babe, you’re a champ." Maya encourages, while rubbing my arm.
For some reason that statement pisses me off, I don't know why though and I shoot a glare in her direction.
"Easy for you to say." I retort
As the seconds turned to minutes and minutes to nearly four hours later, I feel like I'm dying.
Correction. I'm fairly certain that dying would be less pain than this. I’m already at my limit and it's not even close to being over.
"I can’t do this anymore!"
Standing in the middle of our bedroom, gently swaying back and forth, Maya has her arms around me, rubbing her hands across my lower back to try to help ease my back labor. I have my head buried into her chest, trying to draw comfort from the sound of her heartbeat. I feel her shift and I know she is trying to look at my face, but I'm not budging from the steady rhythm of her heart.
"Yes you can. You’re doing it now and you’re doing so well." she praises "do you want to get in the tub to try to relax some?"
The thought of maybe having some pain relief, sounds like heaven.
"Please" I whimper
Maya helps me back over to the bed so I could lay down while she goes about filling the tub up. Jo takes advantage of me laying down to see how far along I am and I’m relieved when she says that I am at 8cm, I'm almost to the finish; but she also informed me that I will be starting into the transition stage soon and I know that means no breaks between contractions, which terrifies me.
Maya helps me out of my pants, while changing my shirt out for a sports bra. She leads me over to the tub and right when I’m going to get in, I'm hit with the worst contraction yet. I seem to have no control over my body as it rips the air from my lungs and my legs give out. Thankfully, Maya has her hands on my hips to help steady me and when I fall into a squatting position, she somehow manages to catch me under my arms and keeps me from hitting the floor.
"Carina?" I hear her ask, sliding her hands up on the underside of my arms to entwine our fingers, in an instant I have a death grip. I want to answer her, but I can't form any words. The only response I can give her is a strangled cry, followed by a long moan of agony and quick breathing.
"You’re doing great my love. Come on. Breathe, in and out." she coaches.
At least one of us thinks I’m doing great.
When it finally passes, she helps me up and into the tub. As I sink down to my hands and knees, the warm water hits my back and I instantly feel some relief. I don't want to stay on my hands and knees, so I drape my chest against the side, hanging my arms out over the edge and resting my head on the edge.
Relief, finally.
I see Maya out of the corner of my eye, sit down in front of me, as she rubs her hands up my arms and ever so gently brushes the hair from my eyes. I look at her and I wonder if my face shows how exhausted I truly am.
"Bambina, I'm so tired." I confess quietly
"I know you are my love. But you’re doing great and you’re so strong." she says with the smile I love so much gracing her lips.
She leans forward to kiss me and I relish the feeling of her lips on mine, trying to draw strength from the act of love she gives me.
I break the kiss when a horribly painful contraction racks my body and a strangled moan of agony forces it way up my throat and past my lips. I hear my cry bounce off the walls and startles me.
"Breathe. Come on Carina. You’re doing great." I hear Maya cheer me on. She kneels, leaning across my body and pours warm water across my back, as she rubs my shoulders easing some of the tension. I know that I'm now officially in transition, as that contraction was only maybe a minute from the last and I suddenly feel like our bedroom is an oven.
"I'm hot." I moan
I see Jo appear out of nowhere, I honestly had forgotten that she was even here, as she has been hanging back letting Maya and I do this together. She hands Maya a cool rag and a cup of ice chips, my wife places the rag across my neck, I sigh in relief at the coolness of it.
"Here's some ice babe."
I open my mouth and gladly accept the cold relief.
"Grazie." I whisper.
I feel a crippling contraction begin and I tense, reaching blindly for Maya's hands; she captures my flailing hands in hers and rests our palms together as our fingers wrap around each other's wrist.
Is this contraction ever going to end?
I moan and breathe deeply to try to keep the pain from overwhelming me, as Maya rests her forehead to mine.
"I love you. You're doing so well, it's almost over." I can hear the comfort she tries to give me in those words.
"I love you too."
I'm starting to feel immense pressure build low in my pelvis and I'm convinced that I'm getting close to having to start pushing.
"I think I'm getting close, can you get in with me?" I ask, there is no way I can do this without her.
"I'll be right back." she promises
As she leaves to go change, Jo helps me turn to rest my back against the edge and I’m certainly not fond of the pressure it puts on my lower back.
"I'm going to check you real quick to see where we are, okay?"
All I can do is nod tightly and lick my incredibly chapped lips. I watch as Maya crosses the room, squatting down beside me on my left side and takes my hand in hers.
I look at her with heavy eyes and she smiles encouragingly, placing a kiss to my lips and resting our foreheads together.
I feel Jo check my cervix and it's so incredibly uncomfortable; I tense at the intrusion, taking a gasping breath, tightening my grip on Maya's hand and shut my eyes so tight that stars dance behind my eyelids.
"It's okay, you’re okay. She's almost done." Maya promises, stroking my head.
Jo finishes checking my dilation and I relax, until the words "Okay ladies, ready to become moms?" leave her mouth.
I meet Maya's eyes and we smile at each other and answer "yes" together.
I lean forward to allow her to slip in behind me; I settle back into her chest and use her bent legs as arm rest, as she wraps her arms around me to rest her hands on my stomach one last time while our child rests inside. She places a kiss to the side of my head, while I lay my head back on her left shoulder to try to relax as I entwine our fingers on my belly.
I can't do this without her and need reassurance that she's with me.
"Together."
"Together." She confirms
Ten minutes into pushing and I feel like the sport bra is suffocating me and I demand that it be removed, Maya obliges. I have no idea how long I've been pushing for, but it feels like an eternity and I'm exhausted. Maya runs the rag across my face, neck and chest and I'm grateful for the slight refreshing feeling it offers, as I work to bring our child into the world naked.
I honestly don’t think I can do this anymore.
"I can't do this Maya." I wine
"Yes you can and you are. Not much longer and we will be holding our baby, I promise." She says with conviction
"Okay ladies, now the real work begins. I see a tiny glimpse of the baby's head." Jo states, as she looks at us smiling.
"Hear that? We are so close to meeting our baby." Maya’s excited voice says quietly into my right ear.
All I can manage is a soft whimper in response
"You ready?" She asks, rubbing her hands up and down my arms
If it meant that this agony would end, I was ready. I nod and start to prepare myself to push. Maya turns her hands upside down and links our hands, wedding rings rubbing together as our fingers entwined.
I can feel the building pressure of a contraction coming; taking deep breaths I leaned forward and bear down with everything I have.
"1,2,3,4,5, come on my love,8,9,10." My wife coaches and when the contraction lets up, I sink back into her arms, moaning around quick pants.
"Good girl Carina." Jo praises "a few more pushes just like that and your baby will be here soon." I hope she's right; I've had enough of this.
I quickly feel another contraction start and I let my body take over and do what it was made to, pushing without warning.
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 and breathe." Maya whispers in my ear.
"Carina, the baby is starting to crown. As you know you’re going to feel a burning sensation and will want to stop pushing, but don't stop until I tell you. Power through it okay." Jo commands
Why would anyone want to do this more than once?
"Okay." I say breathless and nod
"This is it Carina. You can do this, I'm right here with you." my wife promises
Maya sits forward with me as I push again, my legs suddenly start shaking and I let out a low long moan as I feel like I'm splitting in two.
"Carina, the baby's head is half way out. I just want you to pant for me now and relax the best you can okay? We need to let your body stretch so you don't tear." Jo says
"Oh my god Maya, it hurts so bad." I cry out
"I know, I know. You’re okay though, you can do this. Pant with me." She sets a rhythm that I follow. I feel her lean across my shoulder and figure that she is trying to catch a glimpse of our baby.
The burning. My God, the burning. I've never felt pain like this before and I start sobbing.
"It burns!" I manage to choke out around a sob
Maya runs her left hand across my forehead and I allow my head to roll with the motion, seeking any comfort I possibly can.
"I know it does. You’re doing so well Carina." She whispers and places a kiss to the side of my head
We pant together at the rhythm she has set and I reach for her left hand, because I needed to feel anchored to her in every way possible. She opens her hand and I lace our fingers together just as the largest part of the baby's head tries to pass though and my legs shake uncontrollably. I cry out in absolute agony, throwing my head back across Maya's shoulder and I try to fight the horrific burn by trying to close my legs.
"Don't close your legs Carina", Jo reprimands quickly "keep them open. The baby's head is almost out."
Does she have any idea how bad this hurts?!
I feel Maya disentangle our hands and I miss the contact immediately, but when she cups my knees to help keep them open I'm grateful, because there is no way I can keep them open on my own. I need something to grip and my hands find a tight purchase on her forearms.
"Come on babe, you’re okay." My wife promises.
I don't feel okay at all. I sob, squeeze the living hell out of Maya's forearms and pant. Just when I think that my body can't possibly stretch any further, the pressure suddenly releases and my body goes slack in relief.
"Heads out." Jo announced "take a minute to rest and gather your strength, the hard part comes next."
Holy shit. We are going to be mothers in a matter of minutes. I look at Maya and with a cracking voice I say "we're almost mothers."
Our moment of realization is interrupted.
"Carina, if it's okay with you and Maya if you want, you can catch the baby." Jo states
We never discussed the possibility of her catching our child, but I want nothing more than Maya to be the first one to hold our baby. I nudge her and tell her to go.
"What, Carina no." I can hear the panic in her voice.
Oh, Maya.
"Please. I want you to be the first one to hold our bambino."
"Okay. Okay." she responds frazzled
I lean forward just enough to allow her to slip from behind me, before I rest back against the side of the tub and reach for the handles to use them for leverage.
She moves to kneel in front of me, glancing down between my legs and I see her breath catch. I watch as she stares at our baby's head and her head snaps up to look at me.
"Oh my god Carina." She breathes out
I look at her through hooded eyes and smile.
I want, no I need, to know what she sees.
"What does our bambino look like?"
"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful." she whispers smiling "it’s got a head full of blonde hair and my pale skin."
My heart flutters at her words. Our baby is going to look like my wife. I give her the smile that I know she loves so much.
Our moment is interrupted by Jo's gentle voice "Carina, do you want to feel your baby's head?"
Yes, absolutely yes.
I nod feverishly; extending my left hand forward and Maya takes my hand to guide me to gently cup the baby's head. I feel her shift her hand and our fingers overlap as she cradles the other side of the baby's head.
In that moment, with us cupping the baby's head in our hands, we are both touching our child for the first time.
That's our baby.
"Oh my god Maya. That's our baby." I breathe out in amazement
"I know". She answers with a crying laugh, while nodding her head with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen graces her lips.
"Okay Carina, on your next contraction, push with everything you have. Maya, just support the baby's head and neck in one hand and use your other hand and forearm to support its back as it comes out." Jo instructs
Right, I still have work to do. Maya and I both nod and prepare to do our jobs. I retract my hand, once again holding tight to the handle and let my head fall back, trying to gather what strength I have left.
I can feel the beginnings of a contraction building.
"You ready?" I ask her with a slight smile, raising my head to look at her
"When you are."
I shut my eyes and begin to take deep breaths and blow them out steadily, trying to help calm my racing heart. I take an incredibly deep breath, lean forward and push with everything I have, I feel the baby slipping further out of my body.
"Carina, that's it! Come on babe, keep pushing!" Maya coaches
Before I know it, the baby leaves my body and slides into my wife’s waiting hands.
I'm spent, I have nothing left. I fall back in relief and sheer exhaustion, breathing heavily.
As the sun sets outside, casting a warm orange glow in the room, we welcome our child into the world.
"You did it, my love! Our baby's here!"
"Okay Maya, gently lift the baby and place it on Carina's chest." Jo instructs
Maya looks up into my eyes and I smile at her, as she lifts our baby from the water, reaching forward and gently placing the baby on my chest. My heart explodes with love. I bring my arms up around the baby to hold it to my chest, as Maya slips to my right, wrapping her left arm around my shoulders and brings her right hand up to rest on top of mine on the baby's back.
They say that the moment you hold your baby for the first time you forget all of the pain, and it’s completely true; I have suddenly erased all memory of the hours of agony to get to this point.
Jo works quickly and quietly as she suctions out the baby's nose and mouth and when she finishes, the baby lets out an indignant wail. The baby cries loudly, testing out its lungs and quivering its’ entire body with the effort.
"Hi bambino, you’re okay. We are so happy to finally meet you. I'm your mamma and this is your mommy." I say looking at my wife with a huge smile.
She captures my lips in a searing kiss and cups my face in her hands. When we break apart, resting our foreheads together, we look down at our child.
"Thank you so much for this precious gift Carina. You are absolutely amazing. I love you."
She didn't tell me what we have.
"What do we have mamma, a son or a daughter?"
"I don't know, I forgot to look." she answers and we both laugh.
I shift the baby so we could look between its legs.
Boy. Definitely a boy.
"A son MayA, we have a son." I whisper looking at her
"A son." she echoes and kisses me again
Jo clamps the cord, before wiping our son off and he certainly isn't making her task easy. He is pissed; limbs flailing, crying so hard he’s hiccupping and face scrunched up in annoyance.
With a gentle tone Jo explains to Maya where to cut the cord, severing the tie between me and our son. With the afterbirth delivered and the water beginning to chill, they get me and the baby out of the tub and into to our bed. While Jo checks me out to make sure everything is okay, Maya stands beside the bed swaying with our baby in her arms. After I receive a clean bill of health, Maya reluctantly lets Jo take our son to do measurements, get a weight, clean and wrap him up like a burrito. As she did that, Maya helps me clean up, settle against the headboard and she changes clothes quickly, before she climbs in beside me and wrapping me in her arms.
"I can't ever begin to thank you enough for our son."
If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have our son.
"Thank you for letting me carry a part of you." I say, capturing her lips with mine.
We turn our heads to the sound of whimpering as Jo walks towards us with a squirming bundle in her arms. I reach out and Jo places our son in my arms.
"You have a big fella. Twenty-two inches long and weighing in at a hefty seven pounds 9 ounces."
"Good lord Carina, how did you manage to have him naturally? He's like a linebacker." Maya jokes
I couldn't have done it without her by my side, encouraging and coaching me every step of the way.
"I couldn't have done it without you. Is he okay?" I ask, not looking away from our son.
"Healthy as a horse. I'm going to go into the living room and give you all some time as a family."
Maya thanks her for her help and she slips out the door.
She rests her head on my right shoulder and peers down at our son.
Our son, we have a son. I can't believe we are mammas, this doesn't seem real.
"Look at our bambino Maya, look at what we did." I whisper, turning to capture her lips in a kiss
"I know. He's beautiful."
"He's perfect. I want to see him; will you help me lay him on the bed?"
"Sure." She scoots over, to create space between us and reaches her hands out to help me lay him down.
With a gentle touch, I un-swaddle him, receiving a small cry of protest. Maya reaches her finger out caressing his face, down his arm, then his tiny hand and he grips her finger with force, while I count his fingers and toes over and over again.
"I can't believe he's ours bambina."
"I know, I can't either."
As we look him over, his eyes began to flutter open. He cracks them open a bit before squeezing them back shut and giving the most adorable pout and after a few moments, he finally opens them and looks around.
I'd know those eyes anywhere; it's the same ones that the love of my life has. He's an exact copy of Maya.
"He's got your eyes too. He's a spitting image of you." I say happily
He begins to fuss and moves his head from side to side.
"I think he's hungry."
I shift to rest my back against the headboard and move a pillow into my lap. Once I’m settled, I nod and she picks him up, placing him in my arms. I guide him to my left breast and he instantly laches on sucking vigorously, it's an odd sensation.
We sit with our heads resting against one another as we watch him eat. His left hand lies on top of my breast lazily opening and closing while he blinks sleepily. Maya wraps her left arm around my shoulders and runs the back of her pointer finger on her right hand across his cheek, he grunts in response, trying and failing to swat her finger away. Not even an hour old and already got an attitude.
"I love you Carina, I love you with everything that I am. I'm so in love with our son." she whispers in my ear, placing a kiss on my cheek.
I turn my head to look at her and I become lost in her eyes.
"I love you too, I love you with everything that I am. I'm so in love with our son too."
She cups the back of my neck and the side of my face with her hands and places a searing kiss on my lips, I feel all of the love she has for me conveyed in that kiss.
We break apart as we hear a tiny cry and look down; he is full and sleepy now.
I bring him up to rest his head on my right shoulder, his face turned into my neck; he sighs and snuggles down into my arms.
Both of us place a kiss on his tiny head, listening as his breathing evens out. Maya has her arms wrapped around me, with our son sleeping between us.
We sit in silence, just listening to the tiny snores of our son. I'm not sure how long we spend by ourselves; my mind is running a thousand miles an hour. I'm pulled from my thoughts by a soft knock on the bedroom door.
"Come in." Maya answers
Jo quietly opens the door and steps in
"I just wanted to check you both over one more time before I head out."
I nod and shift the baby over to Maya and she dresses him in a soft pale green onesie, at the side of the bed as Jo checks me. As she checks our son over, Mys helps me slip a long shirt on. With a smile, Jo states that we are both fine, passing our son back to me.
"Have you picked a name for this handsome fella?" she inquires
I look at Maya in panic, we haven't even discussed what to name him, we have names picked out, but none of them feel right for him. She laughs at my panicked expression; I don't see why she thinks this is funny.
"Not yet." She answers
"That’s quite alright, take your time. You have forty-eight hours to fill out the birth certificate. Just call me when you’re ready and I will come over to sign it."
We both nod and she bids us farewell, reminding us to call her if we need anything at all.
"So, what should we name him? Are we going to go with one from our list?" Maya asks looking down at him
I bend my knees up and place him on my legs, allowing him to be propped up.
"I don't feel like any of the names we picked are right for him. Do you have any in mind?"
"I was thinking Andrea for his first name." she says quietly
I turn my head to look at her with tears in my eyes.
"What?" I whisper
"I would like our son to have your brother's name, I know how much he means to you. is that okay with you?"
For a long time I can't answer her and I see her starting to worry that maybe suggesting that name wasn't a good idea, but it's perfect.
"Yes." I smile as tears slide down my cheeks and she wipes them away with the pads of her thumbs.
"Okay. So we have a first name, what about a middle?"
I don't have to think long before knowing the name I want to use.
"What about Joseph?
She smiles, kisses me and lets her head rest on mine.
"It's perfect. We can call him AJ for short; so we don't get him and your brother mixed up."
We look at our son, who has now opened his eyes, looking at us and we both reach forward and allow him to wrap his tiny hands around our fingers.
"What do you think of the name Andrea Joseph Deluca-Bishop, little man?"
He just blinks sleepily back at us.
"I think he approves." I confirm
As much as I want to stay in the moment with just the three of us, we need to let my papa and brother know that the baby's here.
I send a text to them and give them permission to come over. They arrive within a matter of minutes, and they have huge smiles on their faces. Maya makes her way over to unlock the door and they almost run in.
Maya settles in beside me again and we share a smile. They can't see the baby, as he is still propped up on my legs and I know the suspense is killing them.
I gently pick him up in my arms and turn him towards them.
"We want to introduce you to our son, Andrea Joseph Deluca-Bishop. AJ for short." I say smiling and I feel Maya squeeze me gently around my waist
My brother brings his hand to his mouth in a gasp and I see tears well up in his eyes. My papa smiles so big that it looks painful.
I reach my arms out, placing him gently in my papa’s arms and his face lights up. He touches his face with the back of his finger and he scrunches his nose at the contact.
"Oh girls, he's absolutely beautiful." he whispers, looking at him.
"He looks exactly like Maya." I say proudly
Andrea stands beside him peering down at him. "I can't believe I have a nephew!"
After a few minutes my papa tries to pass him to Andrea, he looks panicked as he takes a step back with his hands raised out in front of him in a "stop" gesture.
"Andrea, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, it's just he looks so small. I'm afraid I'll hurt him."
He'd never hurt him, not in a million years.
"You’re not going to hurt him, hold your nephew." Maya says and I turn to smile at her and steal a kiss
We watch as my papa passes AJ to Andrea, who stands rigid and unmoving, causing AJ to let out a wail and Andrea panics.
"See! I told you I'd hurt him!" he says with fear, trying to hand him back to me and I shake my head and push him back into his chest.
"You didn't hurt him, I promise. He just senses that you are fearful, relax and he'll settle down." I assure him
He relaxes and he settles, just like I knew he would and makes soft cooing sounds as he looks up at him. He smiles at him with a thousand watt smile and my heart sings at the sight.
I was afraid I was going to have to practically pry him from him grasp.
"I'm honored to share my name with him. Thank you."
We nod and thank him for all he has done for us.
After nearly an hour of being passed around, AJ becomes increasingly fussy. My papa hands him back to me, placing a kiss on his head and Maya and I’s cheeks.
"I'm so proud of both of you."
"Thanks papa."
AJ begins to cry and frantically move his head side to side.
"And that's our cue to leave."
Andrea looks crestfallen
"What?" he asks
"They need to have some alone time to bond with AJ and he is hungry."
"But we just got here." Andrea argues back
"Andrea." My papa uses the "dad" tone that leaves no room for argument
Andrea's shoulders slump as she mumbles "okay"
"You can come see him tomorrow." My wife promises
He smiles and walks over to hug us both and leave a kiss on his head. Papa walks over and places his hand on my shoulder and with a gentle squeeze smiles and turns to leave. While he may have not said anything, I knew what he was saying.
They walk out the door as AJ is in full meltdown mode.
"Okay, okay. I'm working on it." I promise him, as Maya helps me tug the shirt off again and goes to hunt for a spaghetti strap shirt to replace it with and yoga pants.
I manage to get AJ to latch on and he settles almost immediately. After he finishes eating, I hand him over to Maya to burp him as I slip the shirt and pants on. My body is slightly sore, but not as bad as I had feared it would be and I'm thankful.
We settle back in bed, with AJ lying in between us sleeping; Maya and I are lying down on our sides; our hands linked together above our heads and our other hands resting on his stomach lightly.
I glance up a Maya and her eyes meet mine
"I can't believe we made him." I say in awe
She smiles and leans across AJ to place a long kiss to my lips
"I know, I can't believe we made him either."
The events of the day finally catch up to me and before I know I’m falling asleep. I wake up to an empty bed and look around the dark room, but can't see anything.
"Maya?"
My question is met with silence. My hand fumbles around for my phone on my nightstand; I look at the time, almost midnight. AJ will need to be fed again soon. I sit up in bed and notice the light in the living room is casting a glow under the door. I slowly make my way towards the bedroom door and the closer I get my ears pick up the faint sounds of music, I quietly open the door; leaning against the doorframe and the sights that greets me makes my heart explode.
She has her back to me a she sways gently from side to side and is slowly turning in a circle. I recognize the song that's playing, love me tender by Elvis Presley; it's the song that was played at our wedding and Maya and I would dance to when AJ wouldn't settle in my stomach;
Maya has now turned and is facing me; she has AJ lying on her chest, as his hands fidget beside his head.
I’ve never loved her more than I do in this moment.
"We didn't wake you, did we?"
I shake my head, while giving her a smile and push of the doorframe walking to her; we stand chest to chest, with AJ in between us.
"No. I woke to an empty bed and saw the light on."
"He was being fussy and I'd thought I'd give dancing to his song a try."
"It seems to be working."
I place a kiss to his head and then lean forward to capture Maua lips in a searing kiss, resting our heads together as a new song starts; its Maya and I’s song, the acoustic version of Coming Home by Sigma & Rita Ora.
"I do believe this is our song. May I have this dance?" she asks
"Always" I promise
With our heads still pressed together, I wrap my right hand around her waist and bring my left up to rest it on AJ's back as he slowly drifts off to sleep.
"I love you both so much." I whisper
"I love you both so much too." she reciprocates
As we dance slowly, I realize that I'm holding my entire world in my arms.
These are the moments I live for now.