Chapter Text
King sprinted through the building from the bottom floor’s coffee shop, taking the stairs two at a time.
A feeling settling in the pit of his stomach that he was too late. He knew how Uea felt about their boss, King might not have picked up on it in the same way, but he could tell the man bothered Uea.
He finally got to their offices and took a deep breath walking quickly to the door, trying to listen in, but it opened before he could hear anything.
Uea stepped out of the office, and quickly looked back into the room before closing the door behind him. He whispered, “What are you doing here?”
“I heard Krit was looking for you,” King said, looking him up and down.
Uea scoffed at him, “What were you going to do?”
King hadn’t thought that far, “I-”
“We have to get back to work,” Uea said, pushing him away.
“Wait,” King said, quickly reaching for Uea’s arm before he was left alone.
Uea flung King’s arm away, “Don’t touch me!”
King held Uea’s gaze, “Later?”
It was the best he was going to get, realizing that Uea was on edge.
Uea looked away from him and nodded, walking away.
King waited for Uea to get off work, the sky became darker as he waited. The only light that was left was from the computer screens. He could tell Uea was delaying, and the pit in his stomach grew.
Finally, he gave up trying to pretend to be working and turned off his computer. King watched Uea work in silence, not moving from his desk.
“You can go,” Uea told him.
“I’ll wait,” King replied, not moving from his chair.
Uea sighed and stood up, irritation leaking out of him. King followed him to the windows overlooking the city.
“What do you want, King,” Uea asked, facing him.
I want to be with you. I want to help you when I can. I never want you to suffer.
“Why did you go into his office?” It bothered him to no end; Uea being put in that position. King could feel his eyes gloss over as he watched Uea make more distance between them.
Uea wasn’t an aggressive person, but he felt like it at that moment, “What are you thinking?”
“You were alone in that room.” What if something happened?
“King!” King’s heart beat hard against the walls of his chest.
“Uea,” He yelled back, tired of the back and forth with no resolution. “Tell me that you want me. Please!”
Uea took a step back from him, “If you talk to me like that we can’t be friends anymore.”
He knew Uea was scared. His ex-boyfriend alone was enough to keep anyone permanently celibate, but King had tried to give Uea a space to feel comfortable and loved. He felt like he wasn’t alone in his feelings, that they weren’t completely one-sided, occasionally.
Was a single word too much to ask?
King looked away and let out a pained scoff, his eyes burning.
King watched as Uea picked up his bag and turned off his computer, leaving King in the dark. Alone with his thoughts again.
“Talk to me,” He whispered into the empty room.
He doesn’t want me. Not like how I want him.
King took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears from leaving his eyes.
That night he laid in bed, staring at his ceiling wanting a cigarette. He could have one now, it’s not like any of his efforts toward Uea meant anything.
He sat up and debated walking down to a convenience store to buy another pack. Uea’s grimace at tasting the residual smoke in his mouth slipped through his head. He fell back, giving up on the thought.
King didn’t sleep well that night and went into work with bags under his eyes.
Walking in as he always did, he was minutes behind Uea. King watched as he went to get coffee and smiled at the woman at the counter. His stomach knotted again, it was so rare for Uea to smile at him like that outside of when King put in maximum effort to make him smile.
King realized Uea never smiled at him, just to smile.
He walked to the back of the line, four people behind Uea and kept his head down.
When he got to the front, Uea was already gone with his drink. King forced a polite smile at the woman, “Americano.”
“How many,” She asked with matching professionalism.
“Two,” He replied, holding up two fingers.
“Anything else,” She asked.
He realized his mistake, but simply shook his head and paid.
King slipped the extra drink on Jade’s desk before sitting down.
“I don’t like Americanos,” Jade complained, making a face at King.
Gunn took the drink from him with ease, “Better to not waste it.”
King ignored them, turning on his computer and making work for himself.
He felt him before he heard him.
“Do you have plans this weekend?”
“I’m going to a club,” Jade replied. King heard his chair creak as it swiveled around. “I haven’t been to one in a while.”
“Mm,” Uea replied with a noncommittal sound.
“Do you want to come,” Jade asked. “We haven’t gone out together in a while.”
“Sure,” Uea said.
King looked down into his lap, trying not to think about how easily Uea gave up on him. Maybe he will find someone else to sleep with from now on. Someone not in love with him. King blinked a few times before standing up, wanting to get away from him.
“What about you, King,” Jade asked.
King looked down at him in confusion, not sure what the question was.
“To the club will you come too,” Jade asked, his expression pleading him to agree, looking entirely too much like a puppy.
King blinked, he briefly looked at Uea. Would he even want him there?
Uea’s blank face gave him his answer.
“Not this time,” King told him.
Jade whined at him, but King didn’t give in. He looked at Uea one more time before turning around and walking away.
He went to the area that was unofficially designated for smokers and took a deep breath hoping to smell the nicotine in the air. Nothing. King leaned against one of the air conditioning units. It was blissfully silent and empty as he looked at the buildings nearby.
The door to the roof opened and closed.
“King,” Uea said.
Air got caught in King’s throat and his eyes burned again.
“Just give me a few days,” King said, not looking him in the eyes. “I will be back to normal then.”
Uea didn’t say anything, and King assumed he would walk away again.
But he didn’t. Uea stood there, watching him.
King looked down at his hands, wanting a cigarette in between his fingers.
“King,” Uea said again.
“I know,” King’s voice cracked. “It was my idea. No strings attached, friends with benefits. I shouldn’t be like this, so just give me a few days to…”
To do what, he didn’t know.
King covered his face with his hands, hiding from Uea, “I love you. I’m sorry, I broke my promise.”
He tried to not let the words out. King wanted Uea to say them first, so he didn’t feel pressure to respond. He had run away in his feelings like Uea often did, but Uea followed him.
“I am resigning.”
The words knocked the air out of King’s lungs and his hands dropped to his sides. Logically, he knew that it was to get away from Krit and his advances, but a part of him blamed himself. It was the timing.
He wanted to ask, to get clarification, but he was terrified that Uea hated him to the extent that he would leave because King loved him.
“Can you tell me why,” King asked. He wanted to look Uea in the eyes when he spoke, but he was scared.
“I think we should end this,” Uea told him.
So it was me. The thought crushed him.
Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes as he looked over at Uea. His pretty red lips and perfectly blank face.
I wanted him to tell me to stay, but he’s not. He’s telling me to marry someone else, isn’t he?
King opened his mouth to speak, his eyebrows crinkled in pain. Nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say.
He was beyond frustrated, he was in pain and he couldn’t convince himself that it would be ok.
“I-,” Claws scraped the inside of his stomach, wanting him to take back the words and fight harder to keep Uea in his life as someone more than his friend’s friend, as his passive ‘enemy.’ But Uea didn’t want to be in his life. King cleared his throat, “I will respect your decision.”
“It’s for the best,” Uea started to say.
King held up both shaky hands in defense, “Please.”
Please, don’t say that. Please, don’t go. Please, leave me alone.
It hurts.
“I know you don’t want me,” King said.
I was just a body, but I didn’t feel like one. But that’s what I was supposed to be, a warm body.
“That’s not-,” Uea started to say but stopped.
“Is it not me?” Am I not defective? “I was ready to wait forever, I just needed you to tell me that I had a chance and you were open to me loving you.”
“I’m not ready,” Uea told him.
King nodded before he spoke, heartbreak clear in his voice, “I know.”
If Uea hadn’t followed him, King was prepared to wait and not speak up, but Uea caught him while he was vulnerable.
King went home after he met Uea, citing allergies. His red eyes and stuffy nose did wonders in stating his case. That day he drank too much and fell asleep on his couch, staring into oblivion.
The next night he received a frantic call from Jade.
He sprinted out of his apartment without a thought in his head. He was on his way to his car when he ran into Uea at the elevator, soaked head to toe in a white and brown knit sweater.
“Uea,” King sighed in relief.
“Are you going out,” Uea asked, glancing at the keys in King’s hand.
“Jade called,” King said, “I was going to get you. How did you get here?”
“Why,” Uea asked, ignoring his question. “We aren’t sleeping together anymore. Why would you come?”
“My help was never conditional, Uea,” King told him. “What’s going on?”
For the first time since Uea and King had become friends with Jade, King watched as Uea’s welled up with tears as he clung to himself.
King barely caught him before he collapsed on the floor, “Let’s get you some new clothes before you get sick.”
King slowly walked Uea to his apartment and ran a hot bath for him and found clean clothes for him to wear.
Uea sat on his bathroom sink watching King. “What did you mean by your help wasn’t conditional?” He double checked the water temperature, “I mean you don’t have to love me or be sleeping with me for me to do things for you.”
“So you do this for everyone,” Uea asked.
King flicked the water off his hand and laughed, “Do I let everyone into my apartment and make a bath for them?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Then-”
“I would have taken you back to your apartment, my apartment is for me.” King faced him. “I feel like you’re trying to trap me into saying something that gives you a reason not to love me.”
Uea looked down.
King went to leave him, and Uea caught his hand, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Running away,” Uea said, his hold on King’s hand tightening.
“I know that I should have something witty to say, but I’m more worried than anything.”
Uea laughed, it was watery and pained, “Will you sit with me while I take my bath?”
King nodded and Uea slowly tried taking his clothes off, arms shaking. “Can I help you?”
Uea looked up at him, tears still in his eyes, “Please.”
King lifted the heavy, drenched material from Uea’s body, careful not to pull his hair. His skin was much colder than King was comfortable with. He went just a bit faster, wanting to prevent Uea from getting sick.
He helped Uea into the bath and sat on the ground outside of it, his back to the tub. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Later,” Uea said, his voice low. “Can I hold your hand?”
King turned just enough to hold his hand out, Uea slotting his hand into King’s hold, his skin warm on the surface, but still cold.
Uea clung to his hand, he sniffled once then twice, and King acted like he couldn’t hear Uea's sobs as he sat in the warm water.
King wished he could do more, but he was sure Uea would tell him when he was ready.
They went about the night slowly, King ordered dinner for them and blow dried Uea’s hair for him. Uea sat on the floor between his knees as King slid his fingers through Uea’s hair gently, feeling the soft strands against his fingers. Once he was done they could hear the sound of the rain hitting the window. The night lights reflecting off of the droplets that clung to the surface.
Uea leaned his head back against King’s legs, eyes closed. King left him there until he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at him.
“Do you want to watch a movie,” King asked him, his thumb skimming over the side of Uea’s face.
Uea shook his head.
“Should I make us tea?”
Uea took a deep breath and nodded.
King slipped from behind him and walked to the kitchen. He boiled water and set out two cups, placing two bags of tea in them. King heard that the tea was good for nerves and had a calming effect. He poured a little honey in one of the mugs and waited.
He heard Uea walk behind him, feeling his arms around his middle, and Uea’s face against his back. King held Uea’s hands in place.
“I love you,” Uea whispered into his back.
King’s heart stuttered and he could have collapsed, he wasn’t prepared for the direct blow given to him by Uea. He couldn’t think of how to reply.
I wasn’t alone. Relief coursed through his body so fast he almost fainted.
The water boiled and he didn’t know if he trusted himself to pour it without making a mess.
“The water,” Uea said, looking over his shoulder.
“Mm,” He replied, non-committal and slightly dizzy. He was sure Uea could hear his heart beat.
“Do you want me to-” Uea started to pull his hand out of King’s, but his hold tightened around Uea’s hands.
“I have it,” King said, “Give me a second, don’t move. I’m really happy.”
Slowly he reached out and carefully tried to make the tea. Uea put his head into King’s neck and he almost burned both of them.
Uea let go so they could walk to the table together. They sat on opposite sides.
Uea looked into the mug, “Krit showed up at my mother’s house and all I wanted to do was run to you and ask you to fix it.”
King hated that he had to go through that alone. “Should I kill him for you?”
Uea half laughed, “Can you?”
King smiled at him lightly, wanting to catch his eyes and reassure him that everything would be ok. “Do you want to report him for harassment?”
Uea grimaced, “I just want to run away. I don’t want to deal with him or my mother, or… anyone.”
King held out his hand for Uea to take. He watched Uea slowly reach for it. “I will be with you, whatever you decide to do.”
“I don’t want to report him, I don’t want to be connected to him,” Uea told him. King could tell there was more to it than that.
“You don’t have to think about that tonight,” King told him. “You don’t have to think about anything.”
“I do love you,” Uea told him, his hand tightening around King’s. “I know the timing is bad, and I hurt you, but I- I don’t want to run away from you.”
“Please run to me when you want me, not only when you need me,” King asked of him.
“I can’t promise I will do it every time, but I will try to rely on you.” Uea said.
“If nothing else, talk to me.” He wanted to be relied on and loved in that way, he hated the silence that was Uea walking away from him.
Uea slowly nodded.
The door rang and their moment was sliced open by the sound.
“Dinner,” King explained, releasing Uea’s hand and standing up.
“I’ll get utensils,” Uea stood up as King walked to the door.
Dinner was calm, neither spoke much, but caught each other’s gazes with sneaking glances. Both took turns putting food on the other person’s plate.
They crawled into bed together, King wrapping his arms around Uea. Neither wanted to do anything, content with holding each other. The lamp beside the bed lighting the room, a comfort for Uea.
“He touched me,” Uea whispered. “When I went to his office, he touched my knee and propositioned me. He said he would give me extra points on an evaluation. He didn’t do anything else, but I could feel it. I knew what he wanted in return.”
“I believe you,” King said, holding him just a little more and scooting impossibly closer.
Uea turned around and put his head into King’s neck. King felt Uea’s tears on his shoulder, “Hold me tighter.”
King did as he was told.