Chapter Text
It doesn’t feel like falling.
It feels like falling asleep. Or waking up.
He isn’t standing or lying down. It’s dark and soft and nothing at all, but he can see by the glow of the light at his throat and what’s more, he knows.
Dean remembers.
He remembers everything. He remembers Cas in the dungeon, and Chuck, and he remembers Jack handing him the vial of Castiel’s grace and sending him into the Empty, alone, to find Cas.
He remembers Jack telling him that he would try to help, to talk to Dean, to keep him awake, but that the Empty would fight him. That it would put him in a dream.
He was dreaming. He doesn’t know how long, and it’s fading, but he remembers Jack’s voice, and following the light of Cas’ grace, and somehow, together, they helped pull him out of the dream.
He can’t hear Jack now, but he has the light, and he holds it up (not that there is an up).
It swings gently in his hand, and he can feel it pull him, so he (walks? swims?) moves in the direction it wants to lead.
He moves along for a long time. Quickly at first, but as he continues, he begins to flag. He wants to rest, he thinks. He imagines that the darkness that surrounds him is a soft cushion, that he could lie down just for a moment.
But that is how it got him the last time.
Determined to stay awake, he shakes his head and begins to hum to himself to stay awake. He starts with Zeppelin, then the Beatles. His mind wanders. He hums Aerosmith.
Where has he heard this before?
The amulet pulses, and he falls silent. Cas. He’s here for Cas. He can feel the Empty taking over, lulling him, and he fights back harder, switching to Beyonce instead. Cas likes Beyonce.
And there’s nobody here to hear him anyway.
He prays to Cas as he sings, and the amulet glows, and it pulls at him, and he walks and the darkness around him is boiling.
He finds himself drifting and shakes himself, switching to Taylor Swift. Shake it off, he thinks, and he sings and he bounces and he blinks to stay awake and then.
He stops. He knows this is the spot. The Empty around him rages, but he’s calm as he reaches into it and and his hand grasps something warm and he pulls and then suddenly, Cas is here. Here in his arms.
Dean’s awake now, and so is Cas, and Dean runs his hands over his arms and his shoulders, checking if he’s alive and whole and he is, he’s here, and Dean runs his hands up to Cas’ face and cups his jaw in the palm of his hand and whispers, “you idiot,” before doing what he’s wanted to do for years, and kisses him.
He’s kissing Cas he’s kissing him and he found him in the dark and he’s here.
Cas pulls back, looking Dean in the eyes.
“You came for me,” he says.
“Of course I came for you.” Dean says, pulling Cas close and muttering into his throat. “Of course I did. And you can have it. Me. You can.”
“I dreamed of you,” Cas says. “Sometimes I was in the backseat of the Impala. Sometimes it wasn’t real, but sometimes it felt like I was really there. With you.”
“I think I could feel you too. Maybe I was getting too close.” Dean can remember the feeling of the dream, of searching for something, but he can’t remember the details.
“I love you, Dean,”
“I love you, Cas,” Dean says, and the Empty boils in rage.
“You can’t have him!” Dean shouts.
He takes Cas’ hand. “We have to get out of here.”
Cas nods. “I can hear Jack,” he says. He’s praying. It’s faint, but he is saying there isn’t much time. He won’t be able to hold the Empty open much longer.
“Which way?” Dean asks.
Cas closes his eyes for a moment, then points. “This way.”
They move quickly, and it’s something like running. Dean can feel sleep tugging at him but Cas’ hand in his makes it easier to resist.
Finally, he can see the light ahead, and it’s a relief. Now they both know which way they’re going, and they run and they run.
Cas stops suddenly, and Dean, who was right behind him, crashes into him.
In front of him stands The Empty, the Shadow, and it looks like Dean.
“This isn’t the deal, Castiel,” it hisses. “You were supposed to stay with me.”
Dean steps in front of Cas. “You can’t have him.”
“You stay out of it. He owes me.”
“You’re owed an angel. Nothing more.” Dean turns to Cas. “It can’t keep us if you’re human. Jack told us we might have to give it your grace to escape. I have some in this amulet. We got it from Claire. It was enough to find you. But…”
“But we won’t need it if we leave.”
“You’ll be human.”
“But we’ll have each other.”
Cas leans forward and kisses Dean softly, then pulls back. His blade drops from his sleeve, and he hands it to Dean.
“Just there,” he says, pointing at his throat.
Dean swallows hard and raises the blade, hesitating only for a moment before cutting a slit in Cas’ throat, holding the vial up to capture the last wisps of grace that trail out of Cas.
Cas closes his eyes and leans on Dean.
The Empty is quiet. It stands there, still in the way, still shaped like Dean, but it’s still for the first time. Dean glares at it over Cas’ head.
“Let us go,” he says.
“It seems I can’t keep you apart. Do you think this is the first time you’ve woken up? Do you think this is the first time you’ve found him?”
“Is it the first time I cut out his grace?” Dean asks.
The Empty says nothing. It holds out its hand.
Dean half drags, half carries Cas past the Shadow, pausing only a moment to drop the amulet in its waiting hand. It steps aside and lets them pass. He keeps his eye on it as they stumble their way towards the rift. He pulls Cas closer, then together, they step out of the darkness and into the light.
***
Dean blinks his eyes open in the bright sunlight.
He’s in the Impala, and he sits up suddenly, looking around frantically, but he calms down a moment later when he sees Cas in the passenger seat, asleep. He reaches over and shakes him gently.
Cas groans a little as he comes awake, but he smiles when he sees Dean.
“You came for me,” he says.
“I will always come for you, Cas,” Dean replies. He slides his hand along the back of the seat and wraps his fingers around the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him close for a kiss.
“I couldn’t do it,” he says, when they finally part. “I couldn’t go on without you. If I hadn’t been able to pull you out, I would have stayed there forever looking for you.”
Cas doesn’t reply, he just kisses him again.
Eventually, they pull apart long enough to look around.
“We’re in Kansas,” Cas says with a grin.
“Yeah, I know this road. We’re just a couple of miles from the bunker. And it’s a beautiful day for a drive.” Dean rolls the window down, and a sweet breeze blows into the car, ruffling Cas’ hair.
“Are you ready to go home?”
“Yes, Dean.” Cas reaches across the seat, and Dean starts the car and puts it in gear before taking Cas’ hand in his, weaving their fingers together.
Dean watches him for another moment before turning his attention back onto the road.
Cas relaxes into his seat, leaning back to look out the window. Sunlight shines on his hair.
Dean turns up the radio.
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away
Dream on, dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true.