Chapter Text
He didn’t know when it started, but Chan was the first to notice Seungmin mentally pulling himself away from them, in schedules and their daily life. He didn’t understand what the younger was doing like this, why he suddenly didn’t want to be with his boyfriends on their dates anymore. Seungmin was always the most up for dates at any time they were free, he knew how much he loved to spend quality time with his boyfriends, it was one of his love languages after all. He decided to chalk it up to the stress of the comeback, not many knew this but Seungmin was easily one of the most stressed members during their comebacks because of his main vocals. He was always working to improve them, and when he wasn’t he was doing something else work related. Usually Seungmin would become a little distant from them during comeback season, wanting to improve by himself so he wouldn’t have any distractions. Little did Chan know how the stress and anxiety was affecting Seungmin in this comeback.
It was the day they were shooting the MV for their comeback that Chan really started getting worried for Seungmin. He hadn’t talked to anyone outside of their schedules this week, when usually he would make witty comebacks and become his regular self when their comeback preparations were almost over. Chan chose to not mention it, he figured if Seungmin was having a really hard time he would always talk to one of his boyfriends about it. He watched Felix and Seungmin hug each other for one of their scenes and smiled brightly. Maybe everything was okay with Seungmin, maybe Chan was just overreacting. Once the director called cut, the smile immediately fell off of Seungmin’s face as Felix let go of the other carefully, looking like he wanted to hug the younger a bit more. Chan saw him go talk to the director for one minute before walking off in another direction. The older chose to silently follow him before he realized the younger just went to the bathroom.
He went to go back to the MV shooting when he heard silent sniffles coming from a stall. His eyes widened in confusion as he clutched the bathroom door handle, caught between deciding on whether to go in or not. Finally, he silently retreated back to the MV location and resolved to talk to Seungmin later about what was going on.
They all piled into the van, tired from the day’s preparations. At least they had the next two days off, so they had all the time in the world to sort this out (at least in Chan’s mind). He heard Seungmin faintly ask their manager if he could instead drop him off at the company so he could practice his dancing more. Chan looked at the younger worriedly, the latter looking out the window solemnly. Chan thought, ‘maybe this is okay. Maybe he just needs some alone time to work this all out. Then he’ll come back to us happily, yeah.’
When the others got home, Chan went to his room to catch up on some much needed sleep from the past week. Once he woke up, he realized it was almost one a.m., and decided to make his rounds to make sure everyone was sleeping. Even though they didn’t have any schedules tomorrow, they probably needed as much sleep as possible. When he woke up, he already checked Changbin and Lee Know’s bed to make sure they were sleeping peacefully, which they were. He checked the twin’s room, to see Felix and Han tangled up on the latter’s bed with their blankets loosely strewn across their legs. Chan laughed at their antics and brought the blanket up closer to their torso.
He made his rounds by the dorm, checking on Seungmin’s last since he knew he was a light sleeper like him. Surprisingly, the younger did not wake up. Why? Because his bed was empty. Chan visibly confused and checked the other rooms to make sure he wasn’t sleeping with one of the others. But no, besides Han and Felix, everyone else was sleeping by themselves in their beds. Anxiety spiked in his heart. Where was he? He couldn’t still possibly be at the studio this late, right?
Chan sat in the living room on the couch, nerves growing as each minute passed. It all came to a head when Seungmin finally came home at a whopping 3:27 in the morning. Chan was frankly pissed, but most of all worried about the younger. However, he couldn’t mask his feelings when he talked to the younger about it.
“And where have you been?” Seungmin flinched visibly as he turned to the older which made Chan’s heart twinge in sadness. He needed to calm down, it wasn’t Seungmin’s fault, he probably just lost track of time. He stood to come closer to the younger, as he started fidgeting with his fingers and bit his bottom lip. “Seungmin, did you hear me? Where have you been?” His anger dissipated as he fully faced the nervous boy. Tears started invading his eyes and Chan immediately softened upon seeing them as the younger of the two whispered, “I…I’m sorry hyung.” He tried to hide his face as tears streamed down them lightly. Chan cradled the younger’s face gently and said, “Hey…hey baby, look at me. Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. I’m just curious why you came home so late.”
Seungmin closed his eyes as more tears fell from his eyes and he whimpered lightly.He hung his head as his breaths became more uneven. Chan didn’t know if the younger wanted to be comforted at this moment, he knew Seungmin was sensitive to those kinds of things. He looked down at the crying boy and fully gave into his instincts as he hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry hyung…I’m so sorry…” Chan quieted him and pat his head lightly as the younger sobbed harder in his hyungs arms. Soon, his breathing evened out and the younger fell asleep in his hyung’s arms. Chan smiled gently and brought him to his room by carrying him.
He set Seungmin on his bed and tucked him under his covers. He looked at the boy carefully as he cradled his face. He kissed the boy’s forehead and left his room quietly.
Once he slept a little more, he stayed in his room to work on some new songs on his computer. He decided to skip breakfast, it was a little too late for it now anyway. He kept his ears open, in case he heard Seungmin’s door open so he could talk to him about last night. He didn’t hear anything out of the sort though, so he decided to bring his work into the kitchen so he could see the other clearly that way.
Soon enough, the rest of his boyfriend’s came back from their shopping trip together, exhausted from the past couple of hours. Felix suggested they unwind from the day by having a movie night. He got up and invited everyone else from their rooms except Seungmin, who it appeared wasn’t in his room, as Chan made popcorn and the others chose the movie. Chan deduced that he must be in the shower, he must’ve gone before Chan came out to the kitchen.
As soon as they started the movie, Chan heard the shower switch off as Seungmin shuffled out. He came out of the bathroom with a towel over his head and immediately made eye contact with their boyfriends. I.N. promptly paused the movie. “Seungminnie, come join us! I think you’ll like this movie!” Hyunjin said happily as he stared at the other. Chan immediately noticed the younger’s breath starting to pick up as his hands started shaking slightly. Tears quickly welled up in his eyes as he looked at the floor. Chan quickly went over to the younger to help him practice breathing techniques. He put both of his hands on Seungmin’s shoulder only for the younger to jerk away suddenly, and run back to the safety of his room.
Chan’s mind was reeling. What happened? What went wrong? Just when he thought Seungmin was gonna open back up to him he ran away. Was this Chan’s fault for not noticing sooner? Was it Chan’s fault the younger felt like he couldn’t talk to his boyfriends? He walked back to the couch and sat down in his previous spot, deflated. Changbin comforted him by patting on his shoulder and said, “It’s okay. He’s probably just stressed, let’s give him some space to calm down and then we can talk about it.” Chan nodded and held Changbin’s hand. They all stayed silent as I.N. resumed the movie.
About thirty minutes later, Seungmin came out of his room with a backpack. Chan looked at the other secretly hoping he would come over to talk to them. Surprisingly, he did, with a nervous look on his face. He faintly asked, “Hey guys, um…I was wondering if I could take some snacks before I go?” Chan confused at that statement. Go where? “S-sure, but where are you going, hyung?” I.N. asked innocently, and also saying what they were all thinking out loud. Seungmin flinched gently before biting his bottom lip and saying, “I’m sure I make you guys uncomfortable, so I’m gonna go home for a few days.” Jeongin looked at him cutely and said, “I don’t want hyung to go back home though…” Seungmin huffed and slightly smiled saying, “Come on, you don’t have to lie to me. I know I just make you guys uncomfortable now.” “Who said we were lying to you?” Minho chimed into the conversation. Seungmin flinched as he fell silent before them. “Seungminnie, we really don’t want you to leave. We want you to stay with us.” Han continued on. Felix and Changbin nodded to his sentiment.
Chan carefully observed the younger, it looked like he was on the verge of tears again. He looked at his boyfriends as they all smiled gently at Seungmin. Chan mirrored their expressions and softly smiled at his second youngest boyfriend. They really did love the younger boy with their whole hearts. Nothing could ever come between that in Chan’s mind.
More tears glistened in his eyes as he softly said, “Y-you seriously don’t hate me?” Chan looked at his other boyfriends confused at that statement. They all shared the same face as Chan, having no idea what Seungmin was talking about at all. Chan walked up and stood in front of Seungmin.
“We could never hate you, Seungminnie. I don’t know what could ever make you think that. We love you, Seungminnie; and we always will. No matter what.” Seungmin looked at Chan before the tears in his eyes fell to his cheeks. He gently lunged forward to hug Chan. Chan flinched slightly before smiling widely and hugging the boy tightly. Seungmin sniffled and hiccuped softly in his embrace as he practically melted into Chan’s arms. Chan could tell that’s what he needed in the moment; a strong, safe hug to drive away his thoughts. He really wished he realized and done this sooner. Maybe Seungmin wouldn’t have been in as much pain that way. But, the important thing was that Chan was there for Seungmin now; and he wasn’t going anywhere for a long time. The ohers quickly joined and it became a group hug.
After Seungmin settled back down, they all went back to the couch as Seungmin cuddled in between Chan and Changbin. He softly stroked Seungmin’s hair as the other started to fall asleep, seemingly reaching his exhaustion limit from all the crying from a couple of minutes ago. Before they knew it, they all fell asleep in their respective spots on the couch and floor, not caring about the pain they’ll probably experience in the morning. Chan knew that night that they’d be able to get through any obstacle they came across in life, as long as they stood by each others’ sides.
Fin