Chapter Text
2014 - XX - XX // afternoon.
a motor is to be heard,
sounds,
smooth swaying and rattling,
faint motion,
wind,
birds,
cars,
all identifying as a road kaworu slowly opens his eyes, headphones seemingly having fallen out. his surrounding being more clear now it showed that they were still driving, the boy was confused about why the car was still moving when their destination wasn´t even that far. had he slept less than he thought he had were his questions before looking out of the window and seeing unfamiliar ground, nothing like the way to his home looked.
"ah look who woke up" a voice from the front appeared, his brother leliel whom it belonged to. one of the devils henchmen. the wifes so called angels. if only they were actual angels he thought. maybe they´d be invisible ones then? no annoying voices saying stupid things that could change society if they weren´t said at all. it annoyed the poor soul every day, he was weird and outstanding in the nagisa family being nowhere like his siblings. kaworu had not a single thing to complain about when his family excluded him or eventually forgot him no it made him happy even. no needing to escape them.
"ah" the second voice said now "yeah fuck him what´s he gonna do about it?" sachiels voice was so extra annoying that it could be identified from millions of kilometers. how embarrassing as someone who will soon be 19 years old, where is the maturity? despite the lack of knowledge on what they were talking about the albino just knew it was something their parents would kick ass about.
the driver of the carriage turned around with a strain look on his face so that his eyebrows looked as if they grew together underneath his bangs. the youngest had to hold in a laugh due to his brother looking so stupid in the moment
"we´re going to drop off at a few places on our way home, you´ll quietly sit here and not move a single limb it´s not going to be long either so burry your ass in the god damn seat and don´t do anything have you understood snow white??" how annoying, kaworu thought.
"why couldn´t you drop me off at home first if you want me dead back here so bad, what do you even want to get? father said you should collect your money until you have enough for your own car didn´t he? i can see how you borrowing it all the time can get pretty annoying." he said completely blocking away any bad outcome that could come from his honest reaction, he did not want to be here with these two right now. he´d rather be trapped in a room filled with hundreds of arus if he had to chose. god how he hated that guy, what seemed to be the most best person to his friend is a total snake. pretending to have so much when hes nothing but empty ugliness inside like a disappointing treasure of some sort.
desperately wishing for aru to die in the worst way possible wasn´t too bad wasn´t it?
hitting him several times with a shovel, drowning him, strangling him perhaps? poisoning hi-
before the nearly insane thoughts about how to kill his bloods enemy could get any further than this or encourage him any further the car came to a stop.
"alright if anyone talks to you act like you´re asleep or say you´re waiting for your dad to return yeah?" sachiel said in the same stern voice he had before only without the face this time. as if he had nothing else to do he just obliged and let them continue with whatever they wanted they wanted to get. as if it mattered to kaworu, if sahiel ended up poor or homeless and leliel as some kind of butler one day it wasn´t his fault and he´ll still enjoy it as if it was if he´ll be alive when that happens though is a completely different question.
his brothers stepped out of the car and the vehicle was soon filled with total silence. the car was cold and there was nobody to fill the void in need. no shinji. no annoying voices (thankfully). nobody. it was all just himself, the car and the air surrounding him while also filling the car. it was just him.
just him, kaworu nagisa. 14 years old male. in a car. in front of a store. there is Nature outside. beauty outside. outside. aru. shinji. sachiel. leliel. adam. lilith.
the window he was leaning against was cold, had it been raining? or was it perhaps foggy outside? the beauty outside was keeping kaworu in place, it was weird. it felt weird. he was in here, not even trapped he could just leave at any time. still, he wasn´t moving from his place as he was told to. it made him sick but he was tacking it. it was so beautiful outside, flowers, trees, grass, buildings, bypassers, deep colors, the sky, puddles, the world was beautiful. he loved it, so much that it made him sad whenever he made an attempt to leave it.
an animal trapped in a cage. for so long he refuses to leave it already. his life really was a zoo it´s ridiculous.
time passed and kaworu was starting to wonder where his stupid brothers have landed to be gone for so long perhaps leliel was fighting a raccoon or sachiel was running after leliel for picking up random things he walks by again or maybe, just maybe leliel was murdering sachiel at the very moment? who knows, kaworu definitely didn´t but it kept him occupied at least. it got him bored very quick though, all his imaginations just lead him to wanting them to actually happen more. boredom hit once again and he started to look around in the carriage of his father in hopes to find something to occupy his mind with next. that´s when he hit a jackpot.
a small bag with weird greenish looking filling, it was labeled ´cheese` but looked nowhere like cheese at all he guessed it had to be some type of weed but why in his fathers car? was this the work of his brothers perhaps? very surely though who would have the balls to even store it in a place like this. how stupid. the bag looked about full still probably unused too. the gray hair waited for a little debating on either if he should break the rule nr one and move from his seat for spectation or if he should stay put in his seat and obey the horrific drivers instructions. he had always listened to everyone around him, not the same listening he did with shinji this was merely a act of obeying or getting killed either by himself or the other for not listening. this could be his chance to make a change. he decided to break his older brothers first rule and go into the front to grab the tiny cheese bag which was roughly stuffed in one of the pockets the four wheel. whoever tried to hide it did terribly, this could be from one of the previous stops the two missing people did he wondered how he didn´t wake up at that time.
bag in hand he examines it carefully, it was a mix of soft and hard at the same time looked like bricks or something pretty dry in a bag kaworu wondered how it smelled like, he heard a few people from his school mention drugs before and some of the descriptions fell into this case. opening the bag carefully to smell on it he backed off quickly, the smell was a weird but very strong smell for a herb called cheese it lowkey sting like smelling a garbagecan or something else strong closely. the stinging felt a bit good though this could be his sign of freedom, a sign that for the first time kaworu did something his own way out of the comfort zone pulled up by his family, the zone he was so forced to stay in. and it being grass aswell made him kind of proud of himself it was a huge step.
would they notice if a little of it was missing? he wondered to himself deep in thoughts.
2014 - XX - XX // noon
things were getting quite uncomfortable now that kaworu was gone, Shinjis and aru were now alone and the feeling of the Tension between them two was horrendous. it didn´t leave Shinjis head, why were these two even fighting like this..
"now that he´s gone i can probably ask you this question shin, what was kaworus problem he didn´t really.." a short pause appeared in arus sentence as if he was searching for a way to put his mind into correct words "uh- well seemed to like me?" honestly he saw it too, shortly after the small incident of him and kaworu it appeared like kaworu had an instant hatred towards aru even back on the swing where their day usually always ends he looked upset when shinji talked about the black haired male whom stood next to him right now.
though if kaworu hated aru wouldn´t he have left in instant when his brothers arrived? it all seemed confusing
"u-uhm.. i,... dont really know honestly,, usually he doesn´t act this way, not even towards asuka! it really suprised me when this happened." shinji wasn´t sure what to say it felt like yesterday when he was still shy about being with him even if aru said there is no need to so often. a silence crept into the moment when he realized aru doesn´t know who asuka is. the confused passenger looked at him with an lopsided face his hair fell into his face kind of which looked pretty to shinji.
"who is asu...ka? i think i said it right didn´t i?" shinji sniffled a small chuckle to his silly response before responding right away
"she´s also my childhood friend but i met her way sooner than kaworu we were neighboors from next door since we were really really little you know?" wait why was he sharing all this with him? it felt weird just like.. the first time he met kaworu. it was the same scenario with shinji meeting kaworu and suddenly trusting him with a lot of info right from the start whatever this curse was it creeped him out.
"she is quite.. uhm well" how do you eve describe asuka in a less mean way? saying that she is simply ´mean` is an underestimation..
"she´s what? a bitch?" he seemingly had no problems with calling her names so quickly with no hesitation too. how impressive.. if only he knew her...
"ye- well, that was.. hm. a little too good of an explanation if you ask me.." now it was aru who laughed his laughing had something on itself for making others laugh along when its heard shinji thought that´s nice he was sure ar was aware too. shinji began to laugh along now.
"haha.. and you.,, you haha.. you managed to stay with her all this time!??" aru asked in a half joke between his own laughs and wanting to hear shinji laugh aswell not even able to talk normally anymore.
"yeah! i know eight?? she has like,, long red hair! and has a quite pretty face too! i dont know if you know her but... you know maybe you could have seen her before? there is no real way to avoid asuka once she has sighted something to brag about and that is-.. almost every time.." the laughing began to settle down as shinji remembered how asuka met kaworu for the first time
***
"ew who is.. that? " her voice raised a little at the sight of kaworu, he was pretty yes if it only wasn´t for him standing so close to him "you already glue! to shinji give that stupid some space!! or are you perhaps actually glued to him did stupid shinji `accidentally´ glue himself to you or what happened??"" she sounded as if she wanted to protect shinji with this statement though asuka could never even if he would really love to believe that right now..
kaworu was a new friend shinji made in the break last week, he was sent to get papers from the pc room next door to the music room when he heard a familiar melody, kaworu. in all might, he was so pretty almost satisfying to look at his skin as smooth as flour and his hair like pure ash. nobody ever managed to make shinji feel this way just with their looks, he felt his face heat up when he turned around revealing such mesmerizing ruby eyes..
"were you listening?" he suddenly spoke up with such a smooth voice, shinji swore the words flew in and out of his ears like they were oil bathed in butter. if it were possible his face would be even more red right now.
"u-u..uhm i-" even his words feared to do something wrong now. "i.. really like this s-song!" a short pause with silence was found in the room it made shinji think he did something wrong "a-and, your p-playing too of course!!" he quickly added. kaworu had expected him to stop talking after stating he liked the song nobody ever talked any more than this to him.
"do you.. like queen?" it took kaworu a moment to process what was going on but made his answer clear with playing another song,
"a dozen red roses.." it came softly from shinji as he was listening to this strangers music. just as it stopped.
"i like their songs but it´s nothing too much honestly" it felt weird to talk to people more than a few words other than a hello, how cool or a wow. looking at the shy male at the door frame more closely now hw noticed his sweet face. it was something that stood out from others.
"that´s really neat you know i like them t-" the mystery boy interrupted him quickly "kaworu." shinji looked at him in confusion before realizing what he meant "i´m kaworu. kaworu nagisa." the boy ho just got introduced to be kaworu was now smiling warmly at him, his face was so pretty it made shinji jealous instantly.
"my name is ikari shinji, i like your name.. its p-pretty" he had to look away to hide his red face from kaworu pretending he had found something interesting in the corner or something. kaworus smile was so welcoming and warm as if it introduced you in a beautiful coozy house.
"thank you, shinji. i like your name aswell it suits you in my opinion,," it was such a sweet gesture it was hard to keep up with this wonderful boy
"come in if you like i don´t bite" he said with a smug smile that just charmed shinji even more.
they talked every day till this day they were standing with asuka.
"don´t talk to kaworu this way asuka.." his voice was low as if not to anger a dinosaur at jurrasic park. "and its fine don´t worry i don´d mind i-" he got interrupted by the redhead who quickly barked in " boys don´t act like THIS towards each other if you ask me that´s pretty homo!!" shinji stood in shock, fazed by his friends words. he had never been been told he´s acting like a homosexual.. "WHA- n-no!! you got it all wrong no no no!" shinji waved his hands in defense as if he just got accused to death.
"HAH! stupid shinji is first stupid and now he´s gay too! haha!" shinji would rather drown right now than being here she laughed so loud it was intimidating what if anyone believed her rumors?! despite the fact that they got accused for being gay kaworu seemed to not even care about it.
"what´s wrong prince charming? not going to save your princess here?" she kept joking as if it was funny what she said only because a few people were snickering in the back it was quickly stopped by kaworu
"i´m sure the princess can get another gold ball if she wanted to so why bother getting it from an annoying ugly toad that wont stop quacking stupid nonsense constantly"
the corridor fell silent and asuka looked furious, how did he get the courage to talk like this towards the schools queen?!
"du verdammte schwuchtel! du bastard!! how dare you even talk to me like that who do you think you are passant!" asuka was cursing something in german to kaworu trying to look intimidating nobody knew what she said but they all knew it was something bad based on the context. there were a few people watching what kaworu had noticed so he took Shinjis hand and simply decided to leave with one last "alright your highness i´m sure you have lots of duty to do then we´ll leave now, tschüssi" they both walked away as if nothing ever mattered and the screaming toad in the back wasn´t even there.
**
"shin are you alright?" aru suddenly asked, ripping shinji back to reality from his memories.
"ah- yeah i´m fine d-don´t worry.." shinji quickly replied to not make his friend worry too much. he liked aru yes but something told him that he was doing something that was really wrong..
"i´m glad you´re alright shin im relieved, i wouldn´t ever want you to get hurt by something i said or did.." he looked kind of sentimental when saying that, to Shinjis confusion he held his face gently with both of his hands. Shinjis cheeks were soft, aru liked to touch them. his hands were rather unusually warm which scared shinji with the already existing heat on his face like two lasers colliding. the youngers face was warmer than before now way warmer with how close the other was to him.
"shinji," what was happening right now the brunet didn´t understand a thing that´s been happening. "you´re really cute thank you for being with me i cherish you as a friend" letting go of his face he now gave shinji another unexpected hug. having closed his eyes because of fear he opened them again slowly. this was nice actually just hugging someone while they tell you sweet sweet things.