Chapter Text
On the Road
Buffy shifted against Faith, elbowing her when Faith shoved her. Faith sighed, glaring at the two boys sitting in the front. “How come one of us couldn’t sit in shotgun?”
Cas choked on the air, staring at Faith as if she had asked something sacrilegious. And he would know; him being an angel and all. That was another thing! Shouldn’t the literal angel that was dating the owner of the car be sitting shotgun?
Sam stiffened, glancing at Dean like he was expecting the boy to pull the car over and let Faith or Buffy take the seat, forcing him into the back. When Dean had told Sam to take shotgun, he had looked at Dean with tentative hope, but now, when Dean hadn’t offered any conversation or, well, anything.
But Dean didn’t do anything. He just rolled his eyes, glancing at the two slayers in the rear-view mirror. “I can turn this car around,” he threatened, but a small smile played at his lips.
Cas sighed, leaning forward in his seat. “Sam, Dean? Are you two okay?”
Buffy was about to mention that of course they weren’t okay, because they were fighting with each other, but then she saw what Cas was talking about. Sam’s face was pale and wan, and beads of sweat rolled across his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot and every so often, he would shift, clenching his fists as if that hurt, before relaxing.
Dean was different. His cheeks were flushed and when Buffy looked closer, she could see the faint sheen of sweat across his face, as well as the hazy look in his eyes. While Sam looked like he was fighting of a pounding headache, Dean looked like he was running a fever.
“Wha-?” Dean frowned, looking over at Cas, before shrugging. “I’m fine. Are you, Sam?” he asked, turning curious eyes to his brother.
Sam shifted under the gazes of everyone in the car, offering them all a weak smile. “I’m fine,” he muttered.
Dean scoffed, his eye returning to the road. “Look at you, keeping secrets,” he murmured, but the words were loud enough for Sam to hear.
Sam stiffened, straightening up and turning to Dean. “Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my shock and surprise that you still have a part of the First in you!” he hissed.
Faith snickered. “That sounds so wrong-” she winced when Buffy elbowed her, rubbing her ribs with a hiss.
The Winchesters didn’t even give them a look, instead Dean turned to glare at Sam. “Are you sure it’s shock and surprise? It might just be the rushing in your ears from the demon blood!”
Cas winced, but other than that, did nothing. Buffy understood why that was a wise choice; she really didn’t want to get into the middle of whatever this was. Cas only reached across Buffy and pointed to the road, where Dean was drifting onto the other side. “Road,” he said, then settled back down.
Dean swore, hastily jerking the car back into its original position, allowing Sam time to get over his stuttering anger. “Oh, you want to talk about that? How about we talk about the Mark of Cain. Because that’s worse than the demon blood, and also, didn’t you keep it a secret?”
The words hung in the car for less than a second before Dean was spitting out his own insults. “Oh, secrets? You wanna go there? Well, shall we talk about Ruby?”
“Nah, let’s just head straight to Gadreel!” Sam snapped back.
Buffy glanced at Faith, glad that she seemed as lost as Buffy felt. Even Cas seemed to know what was going on, but instead of cutting in, his eyes just darted between them like he was watching a tense tennis match.
“How about the fact that you were soulless and forgot to mention it?!” Dean argued.
Buffy and Faith stiffened, Buffy leaning forward. “You were soulless? How did that happen? Were you bitten by a vampire?”
Sam waved a hand at her, effectively dismissing her. “Not important. What is important is that Dean didn’t tell me anything about what happened to him in Purgatory, or about his vampire pal!”
The mention of a vampire pal rung a bell and Buffy suddenly remembered Spike telling her about this ‘Benny.’ Apparently, he had been Dean’s friend, and he was dead, but she didn’t think Spike had learnt anything else. She sat forward, eager to find out if this Benny had been killed by Sam or Dean, because that would probably be a serious blow to her feelings towards them.
Dean growled, actually growled, at Sam. “Benny saved your life!”
Sam completely ignored Dean’s words. He was apparently on a roll. “And while we’re on the topic, you didn’t tell me about what happened to you in Hell!”
Dean paled significantly, as if the very mention of the words shook him to the core. “Neither did you!”
“And what about Alastair!” Sam yelled.
Dean’s hands clenched around the steering wheel until it looked almost painful. “I-” he began, but cut off, gulping suddenly.
He abruptly pulled over, barely stopping the car, before hurtling out, doubling onto the ground. The others scrabbled for the doors as Dean retched into the grass verge, falling to his hands and knees. Cas was the first to reach him, actually faltering as he took in the vomit.
Buffy followed his gaze and felt herself freeze, going cold. The vomit wasn’t like any vomit she had seen before. It was black, like oil, but when she stared at it closely, she could see hints of blood in it. Dean’s blood.
“Jesus,” Faith swore, backing away. “Jesus. Fuck. What the hell is that? Ew.”
Three sets of eyes turned to her, while Dean stayed where he was, hunched over on the grass, still gagging. Faith rolled her eyes. “Come on, guys. That comes out of a guy’s mouth and you’re not asking questions?”
“Not insensitive ones!” Buffy hissed, her voice tight and slightly high-pitched.
Dean wiped his mouth, using Cas’ hand on his shoulder to pull himself up. “It’s fine,” he muttered. “I’m fine.”
“You clearly aren’t,” Sam snapped, taking an angry step towards Dean.
Dean straightened, his chin lifting proudly. “I’m fine,” he said stubbornly.
“Dean, what the hell is going on?!” Buffy exclaimed. When he opened his mouth to say something, she cut him off. “Don’t you dare say everything is fine.”
Dean sighed. “Everything is fine. I figured it’s my body rejecting the piece of the First.”
Sam raised an eyebrow coolly. “How long did it take you to figure that out? Because you wouldn’t have thought of that overnight, which means that this has happened before.”
Dean paled, refusing to speak. Instead, he just looked at the vomit that was now hissing in the heat of the sun. Finally, he shoved past the four of them, opening the car door and slipping inside.
“Come on,” he called. “The sooner we stop the First, the healthier I’ll be.”
Buffy nodded, despite the worry twisting at her gut, and Faith shrugged, making her way over to the car. Sam was glaring at Dean, refusing to move, until Buffy took him by the elbow, leading him over. Finally, only Cas was left, staring at the vomit with the most peculiar look on his face.
“Cas,” Dean called out, staring at the angel.
Cas’ eyes flicked right up at the voice and made his way over quickly, hopping into the car. “Let’s go,” he murmured, refusing to meet Dean’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.
The Bunker
Kaia leaned against the bathroom sink, panting. Her heart was pounding against her chest and her breath was coming out in quick gasps. No, no, no!
She wanted to scream, to yell, to shriek pure, mindless sound, all in an attempt to rid herself of that voice. Those memories. Those images that remained on her eyelids, branding her every time she closed her eyes. She almost felt like throwing up but couldn’t. There wasn’t anything left in her stomach.
“Kaia,” Claire called softly, leaning against the doorframe.
Her gold hair was messy from sleep and her eyes were dark with bags. She hadn’t been getting much sleep; ever since the dreams had started. She was wearing Kaia’s pyjamas and normally that would be enough to shove away the dark feelings that consumed her mind, but today, she just couldn’t shove away those horrible memories.
“I’m fine,” Kaia muttered, meeting Claire’s eyes in the bathroom mirror.
“What did you dream about?” Claire asked, walking forward and wrapping her arms around Kaia.
Kaia shrugged. “Same old,” she lied. “Just being possessed.”
Claire rested her chin on Kaia’s shoulder. “I’ve been possessed before. Can’t have been fun.”
Kaia laughed. “Well, you know, you hear a voice for most of your life and then it suddenly possesses you. I mean, it wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”
Claire stiffened up against Kaia’s back. “What do you mean, your whole life?”
Kaia shrugged slightly, frowning in the mirror at Claire’s worried expression. “You know, the First just wouldn’t stop talking to me. It wanted me to do all these things. Why, did that not happen to Dean?”
Claire shook her head. “No,” she murmured. “No, it didn’t.”
Kaia felt her stomach twist uncomfortably. She hated this. She hated this world, this life that the First had shoved her into. One where she was never safe, where nightmares haunted her day and night, and where she was some sort of freak. This world where no one ever knew what was going on.
At least she had Claire. Claire, who was beautiful and passionate and had been so hurt and angry but had turned that into kindness. Claire who kissed like every time was going to be her last time, because she had already lost so many things that she cared about. Claire who woke Kaia from her nightmares and held her when she sobbed.
Why wasn’t that enough for Kaia?
She knew the answer. It was because Kaia was so sick of not knowing when she would be safe. They spent all their time looking for ways to stop the First, despite the fact that the First knew everything. They were tiny, tiny little creatures compared to It, and that was such a frightening thought. They were so insignificant, and Kaia was sick of it.
“What does that mean?” Kaia asked quietly, not entirely sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
“I’m not sure,” Claire replied. “Do you mind if I ask Willow, or Giles? They know a lot about this sort of thing.”
Kaia shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me either way.”
Claire studied her silently for a moment, eyeing her in the mirror. Finally, she gave a tight nod, like she had been waiting for something and Kaia hadn’t done it. She gave Kaia a small smile and left the room.
Kaia didn’t quite understand what had just happened, but she knew that Claire was upset somehow. She could just tell, from the way that Claire looked and moved, stiffly, like she was barely holding herself together. It made Kaia want to run after Claire and ask her what was wrong. To hold her until the other girl explained.
Kaia almost did that. Almost.
But she couldn’t. Instead, she just splashed water over her face, washing away the tears that stung her mind and drying it slowly. She made her way over to the bed, still messy from where Kaia had scrambled out of them in a panic and slipped back inside.
She closed her eyes, praying that she would dream of something other than Dean’s body lying on the ground, so still that she knew he was dead.