Chapter Text
“I know you hate me-“
“That’s putting it lightly-“
“-But it’s in Hermie’s best interest if we work together again.” Scam pours on the charm, grinning widely and leaning across Jodie’s desk as if nothing had happened.
“No.”
Jodie’s frown doesn’t falter. He pushes Scam back with his demonic hand shoved in his face. He hadn’t forgotten how angry he was about Scam’s betrayal and he wasn’t about to, not even for his son.
Scam doesn’t waste a second, sticking out his tongue and licking Jodie’s palm to get him to release his face.
“Disgusting.” He lets go and wipes his hand on his shirt. “I’d rather be grafted to Glenn permanently than work with you again”
“That’s an oddly specific thing to say Jodie, did you get yourself stuck to Glenn?” He laughs “you two are such a mess~ it’s so entertaining”
“S-shut up. What would you know anyway, traitor?”
Jodie looks as though his sharp frown is more performance than genuine at this point though. There was a reason he’d kept his distance from Scam since he’d left. He didn’t want to forgive him.
“Oh, I saw the whole thing! My boy was there after all~! You know, Hermie, our boy… the one who’s wrapped up in all that Doodler nonsense now.” He starts pacing in-front of Jodie’s desk. “I hadn’t anticipated he would find his way to their grandchildren, and certainly not into the arms of an Oak…Though he has grown into the little trouble maker, so I really should have kept a closer eye on his social circles!”
Jodie’s expression falters for a moment.
“I’m not a monster, Scam. I’ve been watching him too… since he left Hell.” His eyes follow Scam’s back and forth across the room but he doesn’t move otherwise. “He betrayed that Oak kid. The apple doesn’t fall far from the backstabbing tree huh?”
“As much as I would love to wait another decade for you to cool off about that we really don’t have the luxury of time~ I did lie, you know.” He folds his arms.
“Yeah, who would have guessed,” Jodie scoffs, “I’m pretty fucking aware you’re a liar Scam”
“I lied about pulling one over on you. You’d never have believed me if I had tried to defend myself… so I simply saved us both the trouble and ended things how you clearly wanted them to end,” he shrugs, as though this was the obvious, commonsense thing to do.
“How I wanted them to end?” Jodie grips the edge of his desk. “Why are you telling me this now? It doesn’t change anything!”
“Because our son needs us~” he stops his pacing and turns on his heel. “He needs both his fathers, so we’re just going to have to be civil with each-other from here on out!”
Jodie takes this in for a moment, he could probably manage civil. In the brief moments he’d gotten to see the kid Hermie had grown into, his resolve to pretend he didn’t exist had shattered. He did want to make sure he was alright.
“Fine. We aren’t friends though, and if you try to pull anything-“ he opens the top drawer of his desk, placing a little remote trigger on top of a stack of papers so Scam can see it clearly- “I really won’t hesitate.”
Scam had suspected that it had been forgotten since Jodie had never ended him for his betrayal, but to see it on his desk, a real viable threat to his life- not forgotten but clearly kept in a place of import- a grin splits his face wide and he lets out a relieved laugh. Jodie doesn’t actually hate him. Jodie still cares.
“You really don’t understand threats do you?” Jodie sighs and puts the trigger away, waiting for Scam to stop laughing to continue “Look…just don’t fuck with me”
“Ohhh? I absolutely cannot promise I’m not already imagining ‘fucking with you’ Jodie Foster~” his laughter kicks back up again.
“Hey! You know that’s not what I meant!” His face goes redder than normal, unable to keep flames from licking over his shoulders and completely giving him away. “Cut that shit out if you want to work together! I’m not going to fall for your shit a second time!”
“Then be more careful of how you phrase things around me, handsome~” he smiles, not a face splitting grin, but one that’s softer and more genuine. He’d missed Jodie.
Jodie doesn’t make eye contact, calming down and just sighing, “Let’s just… make a plan and get on with it… I don’t want to spend more time with you than I need to.”
“Of course~” Scam summons up a chair and sits across from him at his desk. “What’s your idea?”
“….You don’t have one?!” Jodie pinches the bridge of his nose. There was no way this was going to end soon.
——————-
Weeks of meetings pass one by one, decreasing in awkward tension, both of them monitoring Hermie and intervening in small ways without him noticing.
By the third week Jodie no longer fights with Scam when he forgoes summoning a chair and just sits on the edge of his desk during their meetings.
“Do you think he’s figured out it’s us?” Jodie yawns, watching Hermie tail behind the rest of the teens, he wanted to protect him but for the last few days nothing exciting had been happening. His gaze drifts to the side, watching Scam instead. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed him, having had enough of his memories to remember feeling an intense love for him… these last few weeks, forgiving him was starting to feel more of an inevitability than a question.
“It would be hard for him to have missed the Hellfire on the hammer you sent him last week~ I’m sure he has his suspicions! Oh look! The Oak boy is making eyes at him again~ do you remember when we used to be like that?”
He turns his attention to Jodie and catching his soft almost affectionate gaze before Jodie turns away, pretending he hadn’t been looking. Scam’s smile softens a bit.
“I suppose not, you gave me so many of your memories that you fell out of love with me~”
“I didn’t-“ Jodie stops himself, flushed with embarrassment.
Bingo.
“‘Didn’t’ what Jodie?” Scam grins, turning completely on the desk and leaning towards him, one of his hands grabbing Jodie’s tie before he can react. “Could it be that you still love me?~”
There is a moment that Jodie nearly leans in, but it’s fleeting, and his expression hardens.
“Get off of me.”
Scam lets go of his tie, surprised by Jodie’s cold look. He had been sure he’d won…but this wasn’t a game was it?
He leans back.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jodie’s expression remains stern, doing everything in his power not to waver even slightly despite how tempting it had been to give in and admit it.
“Well…” Scam frowns and turns back towards the scrying spell. “It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been wrong…”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief, dropping it through a portal.
“Hermie didn’t need that.” Jodie frowns, watching Hermie look just as confused as he is when he finds it in his way.
“The Oak boy does~ He clearly has allergies, it looks like he might sneeze at any moment!” He doesn’t turn to look at Jodie when he talks, keeping himself completely fixated on watching over the teens.
“We’re babysitting Sparrow’s kid now too?” Jodie grumbles and sits back in his chair, watching Scam through the corner of his eyes.
“He loves Hermie.” This was something he knew was a fact, and so he says it with the same certainty.
“So what? I never agreed to babysit the entire group of kids, they have parents.” He frowns.
“I want them to have a chance.”
He watches as Normal sneezes and Hermie offers him the handkerchief with a flourish, earning him one very smitten look from the allergy-ridden teen.
The ‘unlike us’ hung in the air with a palpable weight to it. Jodie doesn’t need to hear him say it.
Neither of them talk for the rest of the meeting.
——————-
It’s another two weeks before Scam manages to get Jodie to laugh.
It’s a real, genuine laugh that takes Jodie by surprise, having not done more than an amused exhale through his nose in a decade.
The realization hits him like a truck; he hadn’t laughed like this since Scam left. Scam’s self-congratulatory expression only grows the more Jodie can’t seem to stop.
“Oh we finally managed to rattle the stick up your butt loose hmm?~ with how hard it was rammed up there I thought it would take more work!”
“I resent that! I’m a fun guy. I learned guitar.” Jodie chokes back the last of his laughter and folds his arms defensively. “It wasn’t even that hard, Glenn isn’t special for-“
“Oh. It was for Morgan.” Scam’s interest in the conversation fades instantly, turning away and focusing instead on what was his supposed priority.
“…So what if it was.”
Scam stays silent, the tip of his tail flicking back and forth in irritation.
“I deserve a shot at someone who can actually feel love.”
Several things get knocked to the ground with how quickly Scam gets off of his desk and steps through a portal.
Jodie regrets it.
——————-
Scam doesn’t return for two full days.
Jodie figures he’s spending their next meeting alone as well, eating peanut butter off a spoon, trying to come to terms with how he’s feeling.
He’d been having fun.
And now he misses Scam.
He hadn’t actually expected to upset him.
He hadn’t realized he could.
It was a pretty awful thing to say, and it apparently hit Scam where it hurt.
He nearly drops the peanut butter jar when a portal opens above him and Scam drops onto his desk, all smiles like he hadn’t stormed out days ago.
“How’s our boy doing?~” he shifts so he’s perched on the edge of his desk, facing away from Jodie and towards the scrying spell.
“He uh…yesterday…” Jodie clears his throat, trying to pretend he isn’t immensely relieved to see Scam again. “He held Normal’s hand.”
“Ohh?! How wonderful~! What a shame that I missed it! I can’t imagine how happy he must be!”
“It’s not hard to imagine. He’s clearly in love,” Jodie sighs.
“Ohh? Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that now would I?” There’s a bitter edge to his cheery tone.
“Scam…” Jodie frowns and puts down the peanut butter.
Scam gets up from the desk, shrugging, and moving to lean his back against the wall. “You said it yourself didn’t you~?”
“Scam, I shouldn’t have-“
He waves a hand dismissively, laughing it off. “It’s in the past~! Really, how could I get upset with you? It’s not as though I’m capable of feeling things after all!”
Jodie takes a deep breath and stands up, stepping over to Scam. “Cut it out…”
Scam shrugs. “I don’t know what you mean~! I’m simply-“
Jodie slams a hand against the wall next to Scam’s head, cracking the stone and instantly shutting him up.
“I’m trying to apologize.” He drops eye contact. “I’m sorry…”
It takes Scam a moment to focus, all of his attention having been lost to how physically intimidating Jodie had gotten now that he’d leaned into his demon nature, and just how attractive he found it.
“Ah, apology accepted~”
“Yeah…so, your turn…”
“My turn?” Scam’s eyes keep dropping to Jodie’s lips.
“Apologize,” Jodie watches him carefully, “for leaving…”
“If you had been in my shoes-“
“I want to hear you apologize” The stone cracks further under Jodie’s palm, his voice dropping low.
Scam swallows “I think it’s only fair I warn you that I’m very into this~”
“Focus.” Jodie reaches up with his free hand, grabbing Scam by the chin and watching his face rapidly turn magenta.
“Jodie Foster~” he catches his breath “I should have never left you, I’m sorry-“
Jodie barely waits for him to finish apologizing before he kisses him.
The kiss is far too short in Scam’s opinion, only lasting about a minute before Jodie pulls back and whispers, “Got’em.”
Scam’s eyes widen as Jodie shoves him backwards through the portal to goofs realm that opens, Jodie smirking at him as the portal closes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Scam.”
Scam couldn’t be more in love.
———————
The next afternoon, Scam abandons the desk entirely, sitting instead on the arm of Jodie’s chair as they keep an eye on things for the teens.
Jodie misses being able to stare without it being obvious, now only able to steal fleeting glances at Scam.
It seems as though Hermie had pieced together what was happening, now taking to wishing he had things out loud. His voice echos softly from the scrying spell as he delivers his wish with a level of bravado that had Scam beaming with pride.
It only took seconds for Jodie to become transfixed. Scam was a good dad. He’d put Hermie first, raised him alone and clearly taught him to be a good kid. Pride looked good on Scam.
Jodie can’t seem to look away even as Scam turns towards him, and for a brief moment the world stands still as that fatherly pride gives way to something even softer.
Jodie wants to kiss him again. He finally manages to pull his eyes away.
“Should we talk about yesterday?~” Scam smiles “I think we should, but you know, that’s just me…I really should congratulate you! You got me~”
“I scammed an apology out of you. Now we’re even.” Jodie pointedly doesn’t look at him again.
“You did, It was impressive!~ The thing is… I said it before you kissed me so~” His grin widens conspiratorially. “Could it be that even though you’d gotten what you wanted you couldn’t keep yourself from kissing me?”
A blush starts creeping up Jodie's cheeks, but instead of denying it he shoves Scam off the arm of the chair.
Scam laughs, catching his balance before he falls and moving to sit on the desk facing him instead. “I wanted to kiss you too~” His smile softens “Especially after your little trick~”
Jodie scrunches up his nose in feigned irritation. “Yeah? You feel that way about everyone who tricks you?”
“You have to trust someone for them to trick you Jodie Foster~ You’re the only one who’s ever managed to scam me out of anything because you’re one special guy to me, you know? And that’s besides the point… I’ve never stopped wanting to kiss you~!”
Jodie’s blush only intensifies. “If you’re trying to get me back for what I pulled-“
“Jodie, I still love you!” He says it with as much earnesty as he’s capable of.
Though he’d been previously avoiding eye contact he turns quickly to look properly at Scam. He knew exactly what Scam looks like when he’s joking and there was barely a hint of jesterly mirth to his smile… it was fond.
“I… Scam, I…”
He wanted to admit it, that he’d never fallen out of love with Scam, that he’d always secretly hoped for this exact moment, but now that he had it he was at a loss.
Scam’s smile wavers slightly the longer he waits for Jodie’s response.
“I suppose it’s going to take another decade for you to believe me~ I really thought I’d given you enough time! You really know how to hold a grudge, don’t you, Mr. Foster~!” He slides off the desk and onto his feet, intending to move to the other side and get back to watching the scrying spell.
Jodie stands up and grabs one of his wrists, stopping him.
“I missed you.”
It’s quiet, but it’s loud enough for Scam to hear. He turns back around to look at Jodie properly.
“You did?” Scam leans back against the desk again. “I suppose I shouldn’t have waited so long hmm?~ Maybe we should make up for lost time and-”
For the second time in as many days, Jodie cuts him off with a kiss, both hands gripping the lapels of his purple coat. Scam leans in, happy for the kiss even if he suspects Jodie might just toss him through another portal again after.
Neither of them break the kiss for a long while, and once they do there’s no portal, no trick to it. Jodie just holds him close, head resting on his shoulder. Neither of them says anything for what feels like an eternity.
“Are you back for real…or just until Hermie is done helping them out?” Jodie breaks the silence first.
“Do I need to worry about you and Morgan?~”
Despite the lilt to Scam’s question, Jodie can tell it's something that has genuinely been bothering him.
“No…Not if we-“
“If it’s going to be an open marriage I need to know these things going back into it, but If we’re being honest about things, I’ve developed quite the taste for monogamy if it’s with you~ Since it’s been so long we probably should renew our vows-“
Jodie smiles. “Right back into marriage huh? Nothing in between? We can’t ‘renew’ our vows, Scam, we got a divorce.”
“Hmmm you think we did~” He smiles.
“You sent back the divorce papers signed…” Jodie makes a face. “What did you actually do?”
“I sent back papers. If you think they were divorce papers you clearly didn’t double check, Did you even look to make sure it was me who signed?” Scam is clearly fighting back laughter. “You really should double check these things when dealing with a Scammer!~”
Jodie sits back down and starts digging through his file drawer, pulling out the divorce agreement and flipping through it.
Once he really looked it was obvious it was tampered with. In the body of the document some instances of the word divorce was preceded with ‘never to’ and occasionally just completely replaced with things like ‘temporary vacation’ depending on the context. The signature, once he looked at it, was Mark’s.
Jodie wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling, covering his mouth in disbelief.
“I believe what you said was ‘Got’em’~” Scam laughs and gets to his feet ready to escape through a portal to goofs realm.
“You…never gave up on our marriage?”
Scam stops where he is, letting the portal close uncrossed. He hadn’t expected Jodie’s reaction to be vulnerability and now an escape would just feel wrong.
“I made a promise when I married you, Jodie Foster; ’til death do us part’~ If you really want to break things off permanently, you’re just going to have to kill me~!”
Jodie stands and pulls him back into an embrace.
“I love you too, Scam…”