Chapter Text
Being a family
Esteban didn't really know exactly how fast a car his soon-to-be parents would talk to him about, but he could feel his heart almost leaving his chest. He was waiting wisely in this playroom, where most of the visits had been, with a lady from the home bent over a large table doing her paperwork. The little boy was trying to play with his little blue car, but it was becoming more of a stress reliever than a real toy.
His eyes kept looking at the door, hoping that they would arrive as soon as possible, that they hadn't forgotten about him or worse, that they didn't want to adopt him. This had already happened with a mom and dad they thought they would grow up with for a long time before they called on the day of the adoption, after waiting for hours, to explain that they finally preferred a younger child. Esteban had always been too old, too smart, too skinny, too... everything. Even though he was only seven years old, he could understand that he had never been wanted by anyone. He had never had a choice; from the moment his mother took him away from his father to the moment his mother killed him.
For the moment, he was staring at the clock, which was making an annoying noise with its constant ticking. The lady had explained to him that when the big hand would arrive on the two and the small one on the five, then it would be time. Nothing was lost yet. The big hand was on the two, but the little one was one stroke away from the five. What if it was already too late? Weren't they supposed to arrive early if they really wanted to adopt her?
"They-"
Just as he was about to ask if he could go back to the dorms, as he realized his new parents didn't want him anymore. A sharp knock sounded throughout the room, a sign of an intruder. Opposite him was a dark-haired man who had become a real landmark for months now, along with Max, who by the way was not there. This made the young boy frown slightly, not understanding what was going on. But Charles' smile reassured the boy a little. There was still a chance that he would be wanted, although in a few months he would most certainly be returned. He was used to it, but maybe he would get some respite before returning to the home where the noise was becoming more and more excruciating for him. It often paralyzed him on the spot until he hid in a closet like on the day of his mother's murder.
Perhaps Charles was alone now in wanting to adopt him and Max had decided to leave the ship deciding that it was too much. Yet he had had the most physical contact with him, even accepting a light hug that Charles had never been allowed. Except for a high five one day in the heat of excitement after playing ball together and winning.
"Salut gamin ! (Hi kiddo!)" Charles' voice, Este could recognize it easily now. Even more so when he spoke to her in French. The young Frenchman's eyes were starting to sparkle with happiness, he had missed talking to someone who knew French so much. Even though Switzerland has many French-speaking regions, it wasn't often that he could go out and usually only hear German or Italian, or even English like at home. It was easier for everyone it had been explained to him one day.
"Charles!"
Still having trouble with physical contact, like hugs. Esteban ran to the Monegasque who had crouched down to be at his height. He decided to give him his little blue car even though he knew he would have preferred a red car as a sign of hello if he could not hug him. The Monegasque accepted it all the same gladly, always with this same smile to the lips.
"Merci, mon chéri. (Thanks honey) Je suis sûr que Max va adorer la couleur. (I’m sure that Max is going to adore the color)," said to him Charles after having aborted a gesture in the purpose of making a hug. Esteban decided to extend the five fingers of his left hand, as during this day after this game of soccer where they had celebrated their victory. From the slight clap of their hands and the bright eyes of Charles, Esteban seemed to have made the right decision.
"He was looking forward to you," the voice of the lady from the hostel, who had been quiet since the beginning of their interaction, rang out like the death knell of a sweet moment.
Esteban lowered his head fearing that he would appear to be too clingy a child, something his former family had hated and for which he was often beaten by some. He could still remember the dull pain after a hard slap and the silent crying that followed when he went to bed. He hoped that Max and Charles were not like that. But it wasn't as if he had a choice, like every time he had to accept his fate.
"We were looking forward to it too," Charles looked at Esteban as he said the words. "Max should be here any minute. This time his gaze turned to the lady in her forties, whom Esteban didn't know very well. He only knew that she had a black cat named Baloo because her daughter was a little younger than Esteban and her name was The Jungle Book. Esteban vaguely remembered the name and some kind of bear when she had told him about this cartoon.
"We brought you a little present, Max will give it to you when he arrives. He picked it out, I just said yes."
"A present? For me?"
Esteban's voice was tinged with surprise, not imagining that anyone could give him anything. He remembered a package of candy that had given him an excruciating stomachache, when one of his host families had come to pick him up before he ended up totally neglected for his entire stay. But otherwise, no gift had been given to him for a while.
Except for his Spiderman stuffed animal, which was currently lying on the small table filled with primary colors, on which he, Max and Charles had spent long moments coloring and drawing. He could barely remember his father handing him that stuffed animal on Christmas Eve. When the garlands of the Christmas tree lit up their little living room. It was the last time the boy had seen his father. At least he thinks so.
"Obviously for you my darling and it won't be the last."
Esteban was excited now and was looking forward to seeing what the two men had in store for him. He just hoped it wasn't yet another poisoned gift when he arrived at his new home and the blow would fall. Esteban wanted to believe that.
"Hi buddy!" Max burst into the room with the same glee as usual. "Ready to get out of here and go home?"
Home. Esteban didn't really know what home meant anymore, he hadn't had a home for a while. But strangely this time he was eager to see what home meant.
He nodded instinctively, not really knowing if he was really ready.
"There's a little bit of a drive ahead, it's going to be a little while before we get there." Max had walked over, next to Charles, crouching down to his level.
"Do you remember when I told you that I came from Monaco?"
"Ouais ! Au sud de la France, mais pas en France (Yeah! in South of France, but not in France!)," Esteban clapped his hands, proud that he had remembered what Charles had told him.
"Oui, exactement mon chéri. (Yes, exactly honey) Well, that's where Max and I live. Charles took the blonde's hand as he finished his sentence. "You'll be able to continue to speak french and also english for Max, who is really not good at it-"
"Ce n’est pas vrai ! (That's not true!) The strong accent didn’t fool anyone, My mother speaks French, I can be as good as you."
Max's offended face made Esteban want to smile because the man seemed really annoyed. But then he remembered his parents arguing too, but with more shouting and crying. Maybe it was the same with the two men, but they were holding back because they were being watched and later at that famous house, they would be like his parents. Esteban was starting to feel sad suddenly, he needed his spiderman. He protected him from everything, he managed to calm his fears every time.
Slowly, he reached out to the table and grabbed his stuffed animal to hide his little head inside the spiderman's body. Feeling the mood change with a panicked Charles understanding that something had upset Esteban, Max decided to change the subject starting to understand when the boy was upset about something but didn't want to talk about it. It still needed time.
"Are all your things ready? So that in the car I could give you a gift that Charles and I chose. Would you like that?" Faced with such a gentle look from Max, Esteban could only nod.
"My pack is over here.”
Esteban pointed to a corner near the door, where there was a small black suitcase that looked more empty than full for a child who had lived here. Two heads turned to said corner, before Charles decided to get up and go get the property. He was even more broken when he felt the lightness of that bag and vowed to bring so much more to that little boy who was his son only minutes ago.
Max and Esteban stood facing the door, ready to go out, waiting for Charles to return. The sad emotion that had gripped Charles a few seconds earlier was quickly forgotten as he admired the view before him, with Max playing antics on the young Frenchman who was laughing out loud. Okay, maybe there was a drop that escaped his eye quickly erased by the sleeve of his dark sweater thinking he could hear this for the rest of his life. He couldn't wait to be able to show Esteban and Max what a healthy family was all about. Max who had been so scared before entering this building, when their gem had been hiding there for years.
Another tear had been shed, perhaps the moment he had seen Esteban hold out his hand to Max to leave this room that he would see for the last time. He was sure of it. He didn't erase it this time, testifying to happy moments to come.
Charles finally decided to move when Esteban held out his other hand. The small, chubby, soft hand warmed Charles' big hand, he would trade all his trophies to make this moment last forever. Max's eyes reflected the same emotions, they had made the right choice.
As the new little family prepared to leave the building that would soon be a distant memory, a voice called out to them, causing both Charles and Max to become anxious. Fearing that there was a problem with the papers and that everything would be taken away from them. It was the social worker from their first visit, who had supported their case when everything seemed impossible. She was almost out of breath as if she had run a marathon.
Everyone stopped dead in their tracks, clutching their hands a little tighter as if clinging to something to prevent the separation or ripping away that might follow.
"Wait!" she put her hand on her stomach trying to catch her breath, "I just wanted to say goodbye to Esteban before you left."
She crouched down in front of him, with a soft smile before gently squeezing his shoulder knowing the boy didn't like hugs.
"You behave yourself, okay? Even though I know you're a good boy. I know Charles and Max will take good care of you, normally you would never come back here. All right?"
Esteban didn't really understand what was going on, because Mrs. Keller never came to say goodbye like that with the other families. It was as if she knew it wouldn't last. So maybe this time was different.
"Yes, Mrs. Keller. I'll be a good boy with my new family, and I won't do anything stupid."
The pressure on her shoulder told her he'd answered correctly. No wrong notes for now. However, the brightness of his eyes worried the child a little, as he was not used to seeing Mrs. Keller crying, as she often argued with children who did something stupid. He felt even smaller than he was suddenly, tightening his hands on his Spiderman and making himself small in his down jacket.
"Great, I'm proud of you Esteban. You're going to be a good boy, I'm sure."
Esteban smiled innocently because for once he wasn't being yelled at or told that he had done something wrong. To confirm this, he looked at his new parents who didn't seem surprised, gently squeezing his hand in approval. Esteban had never felt so appreciated in his life; it was a strange feeling. He didn't really know if he liked it because it was a lot of attention. Too much attention.
The family turned around and Charles took one last look at Esteban, as if to ask him if everything was all right before he left for their car.
Charles took charge of putting him in his car seat, helping the boy into the sober black car, before strapping him in to keep him safe. Esteban thought it was over until he saw Charles return with what looked like a square thing that was covered in paper with lots of little cars and a little bow on top. The young Frenchman's eyes sparkled as he gently reached out, afraid that if he was too abrupt Charles and what looked like a gift would disappear in a snap.
"Your first gift, another one is waiting for you at home. But for now, here is this one, I hope you like it."
Esteban could feel the look in Max's eyes as he sat in the driver's seat, contorted to watch the scene.
Then, Charles quickly affixed the gift in the hands-on boy, as if to rip off a band-aid quickly if the gift did not, please him because it had not been so long that they knew each other, and he did not know Esteban's tastes entirely.
But the look of wonder with the excited little noises showed him that they had aimed right. Esteban barely dared to touch the soft little spiderman plaid that was as if immaculate.
"Wow is it really for me?"
He glanced quickly at Max hoping they were not playing a vicious trick on him. But Max contorted himself a little more in his seat to get a better view of Esteban before saying:
"Only for you, mate! There's something else waiting for you at home, but you'll have to wait a little longer."
"Another one? That's a lot!"
"You deserve a lot of nice things kid." This time, it was Charles' voice that soothed the boy's self-deprecation. Hoping that one day he would understand that he deserved to be just a happy boy. Max only nodded.
"Thank you so much!"
Proud to have a new accessory to go with his spiderman plush who wouldn't feel lonely now. He wrapped himself in it like a burrito as best he could because he was tied up. Then he kept a banana on his face until his cheeks hurt.
Charles ended up sitting in the passenger seat, overwhelmed by this day that he couldn't have dreamed of better. Esteban's delighted face after receiving his soft blanket before wrapping himself in it made his heart flutter, collecting drops of water in the corner of his eyes. This was it. His family was together. He couldn't wait to see Esteban's reaction to seeing his room.
For the moment he looked at the corner of the eye Esteban admired the landscape, with small round eyes intrigued by what was presented to him. At a moment he felt Max's hand grabbing his, to show his presence that said, 'we have this'. The look of the Monegasque looked at his husband with a slight smile to convince himself that yes everything was going to work the time they were together.
-
The orange tones graded into beautiful pink reflections, struck Charles as they pulled into the driveway of their home. They were on the border of Monaco, near Nice but not really. Hidden in the soles, the view of the sea reminded Max's eyes every morning. A work of art in its raw state.
"He fell asleep, should I wake him up or... should I carry him?"
The subject of his thoughts woke Charles from his reverie. Indeed, there in his car seat, the young boy was sleeping with his fist closed, loosely clutching his stuffed animal with one hand, while the other clung to his blanket as if he feared it would be stolen. This thought broke Charles' heart.
"Uh... I think you should wear it instead. Then... well... we'll put it on the couch. Doesn't that sound good?"
"Not in his room?" Max frowned in questioning.
"No. I want him to find it when he's awake and we can see all his joy."
Max didn't argue understanding his spouse's desire, it made sense. He untied the safety belts delicately, not wanting to wake the sleeper. Then raised it with its cover as slowly as possible, to pose it against its chest. His little head rested on her shoulder spreading an immeasurable warmth throughout his being. Max would not leave the little boy for anything in the world. He just hoped that he would not wake up at that moment, because Esteban could easily panic and be afraid, still rejecting the contacts too strong with the others. Still, he dared to put his hand as carefully as possible on the child's back, which was protected by the blanket.
Charles hesitated to turn on the lights of the house, not wanting to disturb Esteban's sleep. Then the sun had not yet set, there was still the beginnings of its rays. The suitcase of the boy had been deposited at the entrance of the living room; the cats were nowhere in sight. Before he could settle the question about the light, standing in the middle of the living room, Max flashed the light making Charles' hazel eyes crinkle. The living room lit up to reveal the beige suede couch that looked more like a cat scratching post than a place to sit. Max appeared, asking with his eyes for a pillow to put the child's head on his temporary bed, which Charles fetched from the box next to it, which held several soft blankets and fluffy pillows.
But as soon as he put Esteban's head on the pillow, small moans indicating an awakening came from the boy. Charles barely had time to react or panic, as Max took the lead. His rock. He should think about going back to the church one day to light a candle as a sign of thanks for having put this man in his path.
"Sleep well, buddy?"
Max had sat down next to him, to avoid rushing him. Esteban blinked several times not really understanding where he was, not recognizing the bunk beds in the dorm and the other kids who had hated him without even giving him a chance. The boy began to panic hiding in his new favorite blanket, leaving only a small crack to see what was going on so he could anticipate the blows if needed.
"Hey kid, it's all right. We just got home, remember? You fell asleep on the way. You don't have to be afraid, it's okay." Charles tried to reassure the now whimpering, injured little animal as best he could.
"Charlie, can you go make us some hot chocolates, please?"
Hot chocolates. Now? Charles looked at him annoyed, with the bonus of a frown, to let Max know that this was not the time. But the insistent look that expressed that he was handling this and needed to be alone both, made him give in before grumbling in his chin discreetly and obeying orders. The man grumpy to be of no use busied himself in the kitchen, to prepare the best hot chocolates with marshmallow that he is ever made his father prepare him when he was little. Maybe in the end he wasn't so useless, it would comfort the child and it would become their little tradition as it had been with his father. He had that. He could have the after.
When the task was finished, he put it all on a tray. Three small cups of Christmas, when summer would begin in a few weeks, sat on the plate. He had this.
Then he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the young boy playing with Jimmy on the couch, who was purring the loudest he had ever purred. How on earth had Max done it? But before he could think about it hands grabbed the tray from his arms.
"Were you planning to stay here until Christmas?"
Charles shook himself out of his reverie that had been with him ever since they'd come home with their son. Their son. This was real.
"Don't start criticizing my cups, asshole. They were pure inchident. They were the only ones left."
The purest laugh that ever rang out in this living room, Max's body leaned back spraying a few drops of whipped cream down the sides of one of the cups. The one with the Rudolf design and lots of little Christmas balls.
"As if I'd believe you. You're a menace Charlie, that's why you and Sassy get along so well."
After a well-deserved pat on the shoulder, Charles asked Max how he had managed to calm Esteban down. Then he simply shrugged his shoulders, to say that he had just stayed next to him in silence to give him some space. Then Jimmy had done all the work by coming to discover the new member of the family.
"You'd better watch out for the tray you moron. I put a lot of work into it! Then hurry up! It's getting cold and Esteban is waiting for his chocolate."
Which wasn't entirely true. The child in question, was more hypnotized by the tasks of Jimmy's coat, than to receive a hot chocolate. The bickering with Max was quickly forgotten when he saw this scene out of the corner of his eye and even more so when the chocolates were brought in and Esteban looked impressed as if he had been given the moon, the stars and the whole galaxy combined.
"Mon papa, (My dad) used to make me hot chocolates like these, although I'm sure these won't be as good. Yes... You have the right not to like it. Nothing will happen... and we'll find something else we can all enjoy together, okay?"
Esteban shyly nodded, showing that he still doubted the truth of some of the words. But Charles would make sure that was never the case again. They were all sitting on the couch, Jimmy now on the living room carpet after seeing the commotion. With almost extreme slowness the boy chose a cup, not without a visual agreement with Charles and Max who nodded as he chose the cup with little elves on a sleigh that was pulled by reindeer. He had never tasted anything so good, not even the candies that sometimes one of the educators of the home could give him secretly. A lot of tastes were pulsating in his mouth, which Esteban could not discern. Obviously, there was chocolate but also maybe vanilla, like the one his father gave him in summer.
Then the cream was so giant on the cup, that when he ate it, he put it all around his mouth. This made Charles giggle, but not like the ones who made fun of him, more affectionately. Forcing him to wipe his mouth. Esteban slowly bowed his head, somewhat ashamed with red in his cheeks.
The minutes passed each one sipping their hot chocolate, with for only noise the toilet of the cats which washed itself of make in comble.
"Are you ready to see your room?"
His room? Wouldn't he sleep on the couch then? Or on the floor? Did he have a room?
"My room?"
The French accent was even more pronounced than usual due to the fatigue of the journey.
"Yes, of course, your room, Este.
Max said it as if it was obvious.
"I-I wouldn't sleep on the... couch?"
Max and Charles communicated through a language that left the child in the dark, not understanding what he could have said wrong. That's it, the shoe was going to drop, it was time. The chocolate had only been a diversion.
The fact that Max positioned himself even more in front of him, did not reassure him especially when he ended up kneeling on the carpet to be at the height of his eyes.
"No, no way! Esteban, the sofa is for watching TV, playing games maybe, watching movies, resting during the day. But not to sleep on it all the time. It's not a bedroom. We have a big house; guests even have a room just in case. So yes, you have your own room," Max's adamant look left no room for objection, but the only thing that surprised Esteban was that no punishments, blows or screams had been directed at him. Everything was quiet here.
"Shall we go?" Charles held out his hand towards him, as an invitation without really waiting for whoever took it.
"Yes... Yes, I want to see it," whispered almost in a whisper, daring with the greatest uncertainty to take the hand that was extended to him.
Just like that, the three of them found themselves facing a door in the hallway, at the top of the modern stairs, marked 'Esteban' in a very stylized font and full of little cars that cascaded at the end of the N in his first name. He had never had anything so beautiful. He had a door with his name on it, just for him. He squeezed Charles' hand a little tighter, holding back tears. He had promised he would be a good boy.
"Here we go," The door opened in slow motion like a Hollywood movie.
At that moment, Esteban felt like he had landed in the best ride of his life. He had a bed all to himself, bigger than he had ever draped in pastel colors in a red and blue that reminded him of his favorite superhero. There was a small shelf on top of the bed, with lots of books. Then, there, in one of the corners of the room was a small teepee with lots of string lights. He had a big black and white graphic rug at the foot of his bed. His bed.
Then when he dared to get a little closer, almost on tiptoe. He saw on a lonely shelf next to a window, a helmet and a trophy that stood out in this huge room. The helmet was filled with glitter in some places and with some kind of small green leaves, then he saw some letters on it. But it had been a long time since he had read, he had trouble doing it now. Then the trophy was amazing. He could read 2021. Then he managed to recognize a C, an H, an A and then an M. He was dying to touch both objects. But he hesitated, not knowing the limits.
"You can touch Este, Charles teleported next to him before taking the helmet from his hands, it's mine. The one I won my first championship with, it says 'papa' and my godfather's name 'Jules'." His voice was sad making Esteban badly, he did not like to see Charles sad. But Max came to comfort him by rubbing his back to relieve his pain.
"Here you can hold it," the Monegasque handed him the helmet.
Esteban touched the glitter that was all smooth as if glass had been added, then went all around with his finger on all the helmets, before gently touching the letters that he imagined he could read.
"Hold out your hands, darling, I'll put it down,"
It was heavy, but it felt good to hold. He wished he could try it, but he didn't want to push his luck.
"And this is my trophy when I was first world champion," Max simply pointed to the trophy. Esteban understood, it was too precious for him to touch. Charles would have done the same if it had been his trophy, that's why he had preferred to put on his helmet, which was perhaps less important. Most certainly.
"Do you like your room? If you don't like it, we can always change it. We wanted to add a lot of other things, but we wanted you to choose too... If you need something, you just must ask us... then... and we'll take care of it. Maybe you wanted more spiderman? We can change it and get you some more... and-"
"Charles, I think he gets it, love."
"Yes sorry... It's just to make sure. We don't want you to hesitate... That's all."
"I love my room! It's really nice and big and it's sooooo cool!" He pointed to the helmet and trophy now in their place.
The two men grinned, reassured that they hadn't made a mistake.
"We wanted you to have these, we know you love racing and cars. It's like a gift, it's yours now. You're a champion by proxy now."
Max had crouched down to his level as he said this, ruffling his hair before quickly aborting his gesture remembering the problematic touch. Except that here, it had not disturbed the child too much, except a slight discomfort but nothing more.
"Oh, Max, we were about to forget, the other gift! Charles ran over to the bedside table next to the bed, painted in an off-white, then pulled out what looked like a plug. Esteban was lost, having no idea what it was.
"Max picked it out, it's a night light."
"We can turn it on in the dark, if you're scared. Usually, it projects little stars into the room, but here it's very special," Max turned off the lights plunging the room into almost pitch black, before plugging in the socket, leaving Esteban speechless.
"Is it... it's... a spi-derman? For real! "
Max nodded sharply.
"Yes, with lots of little stars. That way, if you're scared at night, he can watch over you and if it still doesn't work you can always wake us up and come sleep with us. You should never hesitate about that," Max's look of certainty returns once again.
"Okay..."
Esteban continued to admire with big eyes and little noises of excitement the spiderman that took up the whole room. He now had a bunch of spiderman watching over him now, between his stuffed animal, his new blanket, his night light and... Charles and Max who seemed to be the best superheroes in the world.