Chapter Text
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Kicking Leo in the head is not an "exploit" of Street Fighter
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Leo is no longer allowed to make cereal.
----Why?
----YOU SET IT ON FIRE??????
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Michaelangelo is not allowed to call me "Purple guy" or any name ending in "Afton"
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Donatello should keep the amount of helicopters he steals to a minimum.
----I prefer "Borrow"
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Donny is banned from using the kitchen knives
----Why?
----You nearly stabbed ur eye out WITH A FUCKING BUTTER KNIFE
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Leo is not allowed to use slang of any kind.
----????
----YOU SAID "AWESOMESAUCE" COMPLETELY SERIOUSLY AND UNIRONICALLY
----Yeah?
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Mikey can't hand Leo superglue when he's nagging and tell him "They've made a lipstick especially for you".
----I don't nag
----Why is THAT what you have the problem with
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Putting a machete inside a loaf of bread and saying "What, it's just a bread knife?" is not allowed.
----it's not false
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None of you are allowed to "claim my stuff" when I leave the lair for more than a day.
----But who else will use it?
----dibs on the knives
----I'M NOT DEAD
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Donatello is not allowed to put hazards stickers on his brothers
----Casey?
----Yeah that's fine, the toxic fumes one was funny
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Casey is not allowed to try and juggle(?) Raphael
----He said it was fine
----I saw it on youtube it looked fun
----You broke your elbow
----idc
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Raphael is also not allowed to try and juggle(?) Casey
----stupid rule
----Casey cracked his head open????
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April needs to stop spraying us with water when we "misbehave" It's WEIRD
----I think she should continue it's nice :)
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NO MORE ASSAULT, MICHAELANGELO SPLINTERSON
----Okay, MOM
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Saying "Hi" and then just going and sitting down to meditate is not an appropriate response to COMING HOME WITH YOUR ARM HANGING OFF???
----It wasn't that bad.
----LEONARDO YOU NEARLY LOST YOUR ARM.
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Mikey is not allowed to go down any stairs in a washing basket.
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Mikey is not allowed to go down any ramps in a washing basket.
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Neither is Raphael.
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Casey is not allowed to do this either
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I thought you were better than this Leo.
----They were right it is fun.
----Until you smash your face into the floor?
----Until you smash your face into the floor.
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NO STEALING MY APPY SLICES
----THEY'RE NOT YOURS, THEY'RE TO SHARE
----YOU'VE ALREADY HAD HALF THE APPY SLICES WE HAVE
----I'VE ONLY HAD TWO FUCKING SLICES
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Arguments over fruit should never involve weapons.
----Mikeys gonna hafta enjoy a knuckle sandwich then
----That sounds delicious tbh
----Really Raph, must you be so stereotypical?
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Raph shouldn't punch Mikey in the face, no matter how deserved it is.
----wdym deserved
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Mikey and Raph have no one to blame but themselves when they get their shit kicked in for sneaking up on me and Usagi-San.
----Awww protecting ur date?
----It wasn't a date.
----You keep telling urself that, bucko
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Mikey is not to call me fucking "Bucko" again
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Rule 55. I reiterate.
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Mikey is banned from any violence unless it is a mission.
----But what if I'm attacked?
----I'm not falling for this again
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Casey is not allowed to enlist Raph to pierce his ear for him.
----why not? It worked didn't it???
----yeah it looks sick as fuck
----Yeah sick cause you have an infection
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Raphael is not allowed to ask Donny for a gun.
----why
----We are ninjas. Ninja do not use guns.
----We're ninjas in new york
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Michaelangelo is not allowed to steal anything.
----Excuse me, I never steal.
----You literally just came back to the lair with fruit, and you don't carry money.
----I was given it.
----Really, now.
----Sure the person didn't KNOW she gave it to me but...
----Michaelangelo.
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Donny's not allowed to make the toaster shoot lasers.
----Why?
----IT NEARLY FUCKIN BLINDED ME THAT'S WHY
----Fuckin psycho
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Raph is not allowed to "See if we can actually go into our shells" by pushing Don's head when he annoys him.
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Michaelangelo is not allowed to play music through loudspeakers at any time after 10pm.
----Dont uou wanna listen to my Bops™
----No, I don't.
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Leo has to sleep at least 6 hours a night.
----Donny sleeps less than me, why aren't you getting on his case
----Donny's a lost fucking cause
----And he's better at not passing out than you
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Putting wasabi in my toothpaste is not a good prank.
----it is tho
----Yeah it is pretty funny sry Leo lmao
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Please stop stealing my hairdryer because it's "warm"
----April do you want us to start brumating? Cause we will if we aren't warm
----It's summer
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Mikey is not allowed to say the phrase "Rumblies in my tumblies" ever again
----How else will I express my feelings of hunger?
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Raph's not allowed to beat Mikey over the head with any frozen food.
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Touching Mr Snuggles is punishable by death.
----No one cares about your lame ass rabbit
----Oh, so I can go and take Bunbun from you?
----You leave Bunbun out of this.
----That thing is still totally a dog btw Raph
----NO SHE ISN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP
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The floor is lava is to be taken seriously.
----What?
----Its ninja training.
----(He thinks it's fun he just wants to make it sound like training to sound cool)
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Mikey will not ever mix together every candy he can find with every energy drink he can find.
----What's wrong with the battery acid cocktail?
----Literally everything.
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Raphael and Casey will also not do that
----Hey, we didn't do exactly that!
----Oh, I'm sorry, are you implying it's BETTER to do it with the addition of vodka?
----Uh, yeah?
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Donatello you have no room to speak you drink Monster and coffee mixed together.
----Does everyone in your family have a crippling caffeine addiction??
----I don't. :)
----Leo you exclusively drink tea
----Yes? And?
----Leo, tea has caffeine in it.
----No it doesn't, it's got tea in it.
----You are an imbecile.
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RAPHAEL AND CASEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE THE BATTERY ACID COCKTAIL WITH FUCKING ABSINTHE?????
----Oh bros you really fucked up if you got donny to pull out the F-bomb
----urhhh.... Oops?
----WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET ABSINTHE FROM?!?
----My buddy Karl, he had some and I got it cheap.
----You know a drug dealer?
----Oh yeah! Mikey knows him too. Helps him sometimes.
----MIKEYS A DRUG DEALER?!
----oh no
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Michaelangelo is not allowed to DEAL DRUGS.
----I've already said I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
----You're grounded until you're 30.
----You don't have the power to ground me
----You're grounded until you're 30.
----oh.
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Raph is not allowed to try and beat Donny up in order to "Claim being second oldest". You are the same age.
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Everyone should stop teasing Leo about his relationship with Usagi, he's clearly embarrassed by it, be nice.
----I'm not dating Usagi-San
----Sure ur not
----Not dating him my ass
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Mikeys not allowed to replace birthday candles with explosives. It was funny the first few times, but it's just getting old now.
----What do you mean it was funny the first few times??
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Donatello is also not allowed to replace birthday candles with explosives.
---- :(
----Oh cmon Leo, you think it's funny
----I don't know how I'm still alive
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NO MORE STABBING PEOPLE
----No
----no
----NO
----No.