Chapter Text
After Richmond played Man City again and finally won, Dani didn’t immediately seek Jamie out on account of Jamie’s ankle being completely fucked up this time. He decided to let Jamie have the night to himself because he had been surrounded by people all day and probably needed a break, and he went out to celebrate with the team, trying to forget that his missing teammate’s absence bothered him much more than he had let on. Somehow, victory didn’t seem to taste as sweet when its cost outweighed it.
The next morning, Dani showed up at Jamie’s door with a single rose and a card in his hand. When Jamie opened the door, Dani held out the items like a peace offering. “The team signed this card for you yesterday night.”
“Right, and what’s the rose for?” Jamie questioned, nodding in the direction of the flower as he leaned against the door, trying to support himself on his crutches.
“I didn’t want to get you a bouquet because I thought it would be too overwhelming. A single flower is enough, I think,” Dani explained. He couldn’t tell why, but he felt irrationally nervous despite the fact that he had been to Jamie’s place countless times and had no reason to fear that anything would go wrong.
Jamie, however, seemed to remain unfazed as Dani handed him the gifts. “Cool, thanks. Do you want to come in?”
“No, it’s okay. I will let you rest,” Dani said, already preparing to head back.
“Nah, you’re not bothering me. I could use the company. Besides, Coach gave me the next two days off, so I’ve got plenty of time to rest.”
So, Dani entered Jamie’s house and tried not to think too much about how loud the sounds of the crutches against the floor were echoing throughout the house. He sat down on the couch next to Jamie, who elevated his ankle on a pillow placed precariously on the coffee table. An episode of an old sitcom was playing on the TV at a low volume, but Dani knew that Jamie was probably using it to fill the silence.
As Jamie opened up the envelope and read the card with a grin, Dani asked, “How is your ankle doing?”
“It’s getting better. Still kind of hurts to walk on it, obviously, but I think it’ll be fine soon.” Jamie glanced up and noticed Dani’s expression of concern. Though he had seen Dani upset plenty of times before, the look on Dani’s face made his heart twist. “I’ll be fine, amigo. I’m only twenty-five. This isn’t the end of me career.”
“I know, but,” Dani swallowed the lump in his throat and did his best to keep his voice even, “when you fell down and didn’t get up, that really scared me, and I think that… nevermind, it is not important. I am just glad you are doing better.”
On the TV, the laugh track played at the end of a punchline. Jamie scooted closer to Dani and rested his head on his teammate’s shoulder, intertwining their fingers together. “You can tell me, muchacho.”
Dani glanced down at his hands and took a shaky breath as he explained, “I know that you have not been okay lately, and I don’t really know how to help. I don’t want to make your pain about me because that would not be fair to you, but it just feels horrible to be helpless about someone I care about.” It feels horrible to be helpless about someone I love. “This might sound ridiculous, but I was afraid that I was going to lose you.”
He felt the tears gathering in his eyes and squeezed them shut because he didn’t want to let go of Jamie’s hand to wipe his tears away. Dr. Sharon once told him that he shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed for crying in front of others, but he had been too busy trying to hold his tears back during that session to tell her that even though she was right about the shame, he didn’t want to scare others with the intensity of his emotions that he could barely handle himself.
“Dani.” Jamie’s free hand came up to gently wipe the tears rolling down Dani’s cheek. “Look at me.”
Opening his eyes, Dani turned his gaze towards Jamie, and in Jamie’s eyes, he saw no judgment, only tenderness. “I’m not going to leave you. I promise. It’ll take a lot more than a sprained ankle to end the indestructible Jamie Tartt.”
They both chuckled, and Dani squeezed Jamie’s hand tighter. He cleared his throat and said, “I’m sorry that I have not been spending as much time with you lately. I miss our talks.”
“I do too. I’ve been busy too lately.” Jamie seemed to want to leave it at that, but after a beat, he added, “Actually, um, the night before the match, I went to me mum’s house for the first time in a while. I think that helped a lot with the emptiness I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks.”
“That’s good to hear. Maybe you should visit her more often. Homesickness is hard to deal with,” Dani replied, watching the characters in the sitcom argue with one another about some trivial matter.
“I don’t even know if it’s homesickness. I think it’s just… heartsickness. Like I miss Mum a lot, but sometimes, when I think about going home, I remember the times that Dad would show up, banging at the door and yelling at us to let him in. All that is to say, I guess I’m also scared that when Mum looks at me, she sees Dad. Plus, she has Simon now, and she’s a lot happier, so I don’t really want to go home just to feel like a stranger, which is a stupid thought because I know that’s not true and it never feels like that.” Jamie sounded small, like a child terrified of monsters hiding under his bed, and Dani held him even closer.
“I’m sorry about that. Going home can be hard, but I’m sure that your mom is incredibly proud of you. I hope you know that you’re more than what your father has done to your family, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.”
Jamie managed a small smile. “Thank you, Dani. That means a lot.”
The pair sat quietly, watching the credits of the sitcom episode roll. Jamie yawned, and though Dani was about to offer to leave to let his teammate nap in silence, Jamie nestled even closer to Dani and closed his eyes. So, Dani let Jamie rest in his arms and hoped that the pain would be easier to bear soon.