Chapter Text
When Chan stormed out of the apartment he went on a walk, with no intended place in mind, just wanted to get out of the drama.. I can’t believe after everything hyunjin has done, and BEEN WITH.. he’s wanting to fuck up Felix now..
I am a leader of a band, not a relationship coach, I can’t handle all of this.
Chan continued to walk when he got this perfect idea, to end things with Felix and Hyunjin, chan made his way into this alleyway, it was only 10 am so it isn’t dark..he had nothing to worry about anyways.
“You think this shit is cheap?”
“No, but I was just asking for you to lower the price by a hundred.”
“Lower the price? This fight is a one-of-a-kind.”
“..”
“the price is final”
Chan walked up to the voices that were arguing. “Wassup” he interrupted.
“Oh, Christopher wassup” the dealer spoke and walked up to Chan and they did a handshake only the gang knows.
“Anything for you today? Dragons tongue?..a hooker? Here for the fight tonight ?”
Chan laughed and brushed it off, kinda looking off to the side because it's been a while since he's shown face in the gang.
****
The other members don't even know years back ( during the time Changbin and Hyunjin, and Han was all in the drag racing era ) Chan was in a gang, and once he became the leader of stray kids he had to just disappear from the gang, whenever he has some time off he tries to
make his way out there.
The gang was known as the “wolf gang” It's just filled with a bunch of alpha males, they picked Chan up when he was just 15, and took him in, trained him how to basically not take shit, and train his body for nearly any pain. They even Pushed him into fights and treated him like a dog for years before his body could handle the pain, looking back on those days, Chan gets upset he let his body become weak..
They are also the ones who got him famous,( they could easily take it all away) and the leader of this gang was a known man, for his fights, racing, drugs, and abusive reputation.
Chan has this dark secret, and he can't tell anyone if so, all he’s worked for will be gone with a finger snap, so he has to be careful of his moves, always.
****
“Is the boss around?” chan questioned the dealer, trying to give off this dominance he thought he still had.
The dealer laughed and pointed to the door, “he's inside, he might be fucking someone, so knock” and the dealer turns back to the guy.
“So are you taking this price?”
“I guess”
Chan makes his way inside of the building, and when he walks in he gets this sorta nostalgia and fear, remembering how he constantly got beaten to a pulp for days on end.
But it was worth it
Chan walks his way upstairs feeling the metal railing, bringing back the memories, of running for his life, trying to escape..
It wasn't all bad this is also where he had his first drink of soju.. His first kiss, and got told he was officially in the gang.. Even though I had more bad memories this is my family and I don't regret anything.
He notices not much has changed and it makes him happy to see that. He sees the boss's door and goes up to the door as he is going to knock a voice so clear and smooth creeps over his shoulder.
“Little wolf, you're still showing up here.” A male wraps his arms over Chan from behind. “I thought you'd never be back.” his voice was so soft, and he was so clingy, you never imagine the things he was capable of doing.
I'll never miss his hands touching me.. Chan starts to get uncomfortable but he mustn't show any emotions like that to the boss, he doesn't want to lose what he has.
He swallows his fear and reminds himself this is for Felix and hyunjin.. I need to stop them.. And he’s the one that can do it.
“Why are you here my little one..” he turns around, looking down into his eyes, slightly caressing his cheek.
“ Could you take your ex back?”
“My ex?” he laughs moving away from Chan to his door and making his way into his room. “You'd have to be a specific little one.”
He joined 3 years after me, and he's younger, yet he's the leader but I'm the ‘little one’ chan tries to calm himself.
“Hyunjin...” chan looked down, it hurt him to say because he knew what happened between them years ago.
“As much as I would love to, why are you asking me to?”
“Sannie please, he needs someone as fucked up as him in his life..” chan nearly started to beg on his hands and knees.
“What's he doing, that it's upsetting you like this..?” San questioned, somewhat worried about his cub he's only seen him like this one other time, and it didn't end so well on his behalf.
“He's going after a person.. —”
“You love?” San cut him off
God, he knows me so well
“As much as I would love to help you, and put that boy through hell..this is your battle.” San sat in his chair and sat back, relaxing. “You’ve gotten weak with this career..if you hadn't changed, we’d still hook up.” He shows a small smile, looking him up and down…
Hookup… you forced everything on me..
I never asked to be loved by you…
Or whatever you called love..
“Please.. I hate to see them together.” Chan started to beg more.
“Maybe.. hyunjin will finally be happy..you know without me in his life” San looked at his empty glass, thinking about that night at the club..
“When did you ever give a shit how he felt !?” Chan started to get defensive. No longer trying to submit to Sans in present, san didn’t change his body language or raise his voice, and that’s what made him so dangerous.
San placed his eyes on chan, watching his frantic body movements, and smiling. “He’s not my problem anymore, sorry chan.”
Chan couldn’t understand, he knew san was obsessed with wanting hyunjin, and hurting him.. what changed his mind.. has he really moved on from him..
Chan rushed over to san and was about to hit him but stopped in mid-air
“Don’t.” San took a deep breath and adjusted himself in his seat.
I HATE YOU SAN
“Do you want to lose everything ?” His voice was calm with a slight laugh, mocking chan knowing he was the one in control, as he looks him deep in his eyes.
Chan HATED the control he had over him, it lives in his mind every day, how he’s only able to go to certain places and do certain things.
“Fine, ill do this myself.” Chan stood there and looked emotionless. Trying to figure out how exactly he was going to do this himself. It's gonna be hard, but. I may just have to let this go…
“Good boy, but did you forget, in the wolf gang we, learn to fight our own battles.” San smiles at him, “You’ve been away too long, I think you need a good, Long vacation here.”
“You make the arguments… and ill follow,” Chan replied, he could have easily rejected sans offer but he didn’t.
San shooed chan of, “Well go on, do what you needs to be done.” San stretched his body from his chair watching chan leave his room..
****
Chan made his way back to the apartments, hoping the fight and arguing were done, at this point he thought back to what Changbin told him, maybe I should just let them be… I have no right to interfere, im a leader I have no time for love anyways.
Chan makes his way into the door, and yet he heard Felix yelling at hyunjin, it bothered him, but he just let it go, they’ll figure it out.. im done stressing over this..
Chan makes his way to his room and lies down. He Looks up to the ceiling,
Its true, I loved Felix.. but not romantically..
But as a little brother.. im just scared to see him get hurt..
But I realize I can’t change his mind, I can’t make him as happy as I see him with Hyunjin..
Part of me feels like an asshole for wanting san to be with hyunjin, just because I want to protect Felix .. hyunjin has dealt with a lot of trauma.. pain even ptsd from san.. why would I want that for him again..
Im sorry I can’t be a good leader, im sorry for getting angry.. im sorry if my words hurt you guys..
Ill get better, I support you guys from a distance.. im happy you both can be happy..
Enjoy this.. please.
****
That day was a wreck for everyone involved, it was a day that everyone would also remember. Things take time, and everyone is starting to figure out that, “love” is a slow process, and Felix wants to teach hyunjin, how to take things slow.
Felix wants a relationship, and he is sure hyunjin feels the same, while lays on the couch he thinks about all the days they can learn and grow together.. it makes him smile like an idiot but he doesn’t mind if anyone notices..
Im willing to drop everything, to give in, to give it my all for hyunjin.. there’s nothing more perfect in this world than him..
Well maybe stays, stays are the reason our career has gotten this far, they are the reason me and hyunjin know each other…
Stays are perfect.. I love them too
Felix gets excited about his plan to approach this situation with hyunjin once more, he tries to fall asleep fast, so he could wake up, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
****
I have to let my own insecurities go, I have to learn to be open.. sometimes I wonder how I can be more like san… be more respected, and see myself as more confident..
Maybe going on a vacation back to the gang wouldn’t be a bad idea, that is my family after all..
They want what’s best for me.. - Chan