Chapter Text
After seeing the state Tommy was in, Wilbur had decided to stay longer than just the day. He went back to his own flat to get enough stuff to stay a week or more as necessary. Tommy felt bad about this decision, he knew he wasn’t *forcing* Wil to stay but it felt like it, like he was some dumb kid who needed babysitting. One day as they were watching TV on the couch, he mentioned this to Wilbur.
“Hey Wil, y’know you can leave anytime, right? Like I’ll be fine, I don’t need to be babysat like some stupid kid… I’ll be okay.” Wil didn’t know what to say to that, and they sat there in silence for a moment.
“...I know, Tommy, I’m not babysitting you, it’s more like a sleepover, I guess. I know you’ll be okay, I just don’t want you to have to be alone so much, and I’m a little worried about you.” Tommy had been clean since the day Wil got there, as far as he knew. Wil was worried that as soon as he left, Tommy would go back to self harming, which was probably a reasonable worry.
As for Tommy, he hadn’t been clean since Wil arrived. He felt awful about it but after Wilbur fell asleep, he had been sneaking into the bathroom and cutting using a blade he had hid in his room a while ago and recently found. He did it on his thighs this time though, so it was less obvious he had relapsed. Some of his cuts were scabbing over and going into the itchy stage, though, Tommy’s least favorite part.
“Hey Tommy, wanna play some board games? I was thinking Life,” Wilbur interrupted his stream of thoughts.
“Yeah sure, you’re going down!”
Wilbur was nearly done beating Tommy at Life when he noticed Tommy kept scratching at a particular spot on his leg. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but he certainly remembered that feeling…
“Hey Toms?”
“Hmm?”
“Is your- Why are you scratching your legs so often?”
Tommy hesitated. He knew Wil knew. But saying it out loud was hard. “I- I think you know, Wilbur… I’m sorry..”
Wilbur sighed. “It’s ok. Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I dunno, there’s not much to talk about. It’s just an addiction I guess.”
“I know, and it’s hard to break the cycle. But you need to, Tommy, you can’t keep hurting yourself like this.”
“What if I don’t wanna stop, Wilbur? It’s the only thing that’s helped… numb the pain of it all.”
That broke Wilbur. He had no idea Tommy was in so much pain. Tommy had started crying now, and Wilbur shifted over so he could wrap his arms around the teen. Pretty soon they were both crying, and a little while after Tommy was asleep. It was pretty late, so Wilbur left him on the couch and went to go get ready for bed himself. As he was washing his face, he realized he was growing a bit of a beard from not shaving for a few days. He had brought his razor and some disposable blades to shave with, so he went to get them from his bag.
Razor and blades in hand, Wilbur went back to the bathroom and set them on the counter. He knew this was risky. Having these blades meant Tommy could see them and use them, that was the last thing Wilbur wanted. Speaking of Tommy relapsing, Wilbur couldn’t believe he’d missed it completely. He honestly deserved to relapse himself just for that… He took a razor blade out of the package and put it to his arm. Without thinking, he pressed it into his skin and made a few cuts.
Then, a bleary eyed Tommy walked in. He froze and his eyes widened as he saw Wilbur’s arm. Shit. Wilbur snapped out of it and realized what he had done. His arm was bleeding, and the razor was still in his hand. He shakily set it down on the counter and turned back to talk to Tommy, but he was already gone. Fuck. Wilbur quickly cleaned himself up and tucked the blades back into his bag before going to find Tommy.
Wilbur walked into a scene much like what Tommy walked into moments earlier. Tommy’s thighs were bleeding again. He looked up at Wilbur, eyes brimming with tears.
“Tommy I- I’m so sorry that was- I shouldn’t have done that. Can you put down the blade please and we can talk?” Tommy reluctantly put the blade down on his bed. Wilbur sat down next to him and moved the blade to the nightstand, out of reach.
“I know I triggered you and I’m so sorry, I don’t know what got into me. I guess I was blaming myself for not noticing you had been relapsing, and I took the opportunity. But now we can try to recover together, day by day. I’m here for you Toms, seriously, I don't want you to hide it.”
“No worries big Dub, guess we’re both pretty mentally ill huh?” Tommy said, chuckling. “I’m sorry I made you relapse… I know you were four months clean, that’s pretty great. Farther than I’ve gotten in a while.”
“It’s not your fault Toms. And yeah… I know, but we’ll both get there eventually.”
Tommy went to the bathroom to clean up while Wilbur took his blade and the razor blades in his bag and threw them away outside. Sure, there were knives and other things, but this way it was easier to make sure no relapses were hidden from each other. Guess he wouldn’t be shaving for a while.