Chapter Text
Callum, despite having lived in the castle for nearly 2 years now, still had to be escorted to the nearest bathroom. Viren tried to repress his annoyance at that. He had wanted to change, his robe being covered in snot, tears and jelly tart crumbs made his skin itch, but Callum would only get lost if he went alone. Instead, Viren opted to use a small spell to make his robes appear clean, hoping that it would suffice while he waited for Callum to exit the bathroom.
It didn’t ease his nerves.
Even if no one else noticed, he still knew.
Viren tried to focus on something else. Anything else .
His knee ached. So did his back. His throat was dry, and Viren knew it too would begin to hurt if he didn’t get himself some water soon.
Maybe he should have been more specific about “ anything else ”.
Viren closed his eyes and sighed, trying to mentally prepare for the task of telling a grieving child stories about his mother. There were hardly any memories Viren had of Sarai that hadn’t been drowned in a sea of sadness that only perpetuated the ache in his chest. The feeling that something, someone , was missing, and there was nothing anyone could do about it, least of all him.
Useless.
Viren shoved those thoughts away as well, deciding that he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there even if he still felt he shouldn’t be crossing that bridge in the first place. His only justification was that Harrow was not in the right mind to do anything of the sort right now, so he would instead. It was a weak justification but it sufficed, at least to Viren’s tired mind.
It crossed Viren’s mind that it had been several minutes since Callum ran into the bathroom, and for a moment that panic a parent feels when their kid is too quiet took over him. Frantically he turned to the door, his staff being the only thing keeping him from taking a tumble, and raised his hand to the door with just as much panic.
He hesitated.
Instead, he tried to regain control of his breathing, which had once again gotten out of hand. It was starting to become a bad habit, all this panicking. It didn’t help with how tired it made him either, making him more irrational.
Once Viren felt that he had calmed down to a sufficient degree, he knocked.
No response.
“Callum? Do you need help?”
There was a sniffle and a loud splash, but otherwise, no response.
He was panicking again.
Of course he was panicking again. It only served to make him annoyed. He clenched the handle of his staff and unclenched his jaw, knocking again. This time was a little more agitated.
“Callum, please answer me.”
This time there was a response, and while Viren was still annoyed, his panic had been quelled.
The response came in a quiet sob, some shuffling of feet, and the door opening to a 7-year-old that was somehow even messier than when he went in.
Callum was drenched. From the looks of things, he had only managed to smear the snot and jelly tart crumbs over his face and trousers more. The puddle in the middle of the room next to an empty-looking bucket made it look as though it had been dumped out. Viren figured that was what the splash was. Callum’s face was a picture-perfect representation of frustration mixed with sadness.
Viren almost laughed at the sight.
Almost.
Instead, he composed himself and once again asked if Callum needed any help.
The only sound that escaped the poor child was a hiccupy sob, but he nodded, so Viren sighed and ushered him back into the bathroom, closing the door behind them.
Callum went over to the bucket, picking it up as best he could and handing it to Viren. He noticed there was no cloth to wash with.
Ah. No wonder.
Viren took out a cloth of his own, figuring that he was going to wash his clothes when he was done anyway, so he might as well get this dirty too. Callum stood in the centre of the puddle looking at him expectantly. Viren reached over Callum, grabbed a stool and sat him down. He went to kneel down, but his leg gave up entirely halfway through and instead, he flopped down into the puddle.
And Callum laughed.
The first laugh he had heard from the boy in what felt like weeks.
“You’re all soggy now too!” Callum exclaimed, kicking his legs excitedly and pointing at Viren as he tried to recover from the fall.
Viren felt humiliated . Though, strange as it was, despite feeling like he would rather face down Thunder again than be here, he soon began laughing too. It was strained. His throat hurt now. Everything hurt. But for one simple moment as the two laughed their hearts out soaked in water, Viren felt a little lighter, and the pain didn’t bother him as much.
Maybe everything will be okay.
It was a fleeting thought, but his mind latched onto it, and even as the two calmed down from their fit, Viren smiled. As he looked back at Callum, he once again saw Sarai’s eyes smiling back at him. It was bittersweet.
“Okay-” Viren said sitting up with a grunt in his now drenched clothes “-I’ll help you get cleaned up. And maybe I can tell you another story about Sarai while we’re doing that, but you have to sit still. And you can’t stay in wet clothes, so you’re going to have to change as well. Are we in agreement?”
An enthusiastic nod mixed with a just as enthusiastic “Mhm” prompted Viren to get started.
He pulled the bucket closer, judging there to be enough water left to get the job done and dipped the cloth in. He was just about to bring it to Callum’s face when the boy spoke up.
“Why don’t you use magic?”
“What?” Viren drew back, startled at the question.
“You can just use magic, right? Why don’t you?”
Viren didn’t know what to say. To be honest, this was the first person that wasn’t Claudia who had ever asked him about magic. Even Harrow only used magic as a last resort. He didn’t know how much Callum even knew about magic beyond Viren being the High Mage.
Callum looked at him expectantly. Viren brought his hand back up and began wiping down Callum’s face as he chose his words.
“Well, magic requires ingredients. And magic ingredients aren’t as common on this side of the border as they used to be. It’s best not to waste them when possible. A trip across the border can be….”
Dangerous was what he had meant to say. Other words tried pushing their way to the front of his mind, however.
Hostile.
Deadly.
His hand stilled.
His eyes stared at nothing in particular.
Words caught in his throat again and the smile he had been wearing so carelessly dropped, as if it had never been there at all.
Viren tried to hold onto that previous thought.
Maybe everything will be okay.
Lightning flashed across his mind once again.
Everything is okay.
It was like being in a stormy sea, clinging onto the phrase like his life depended on it.
Viren clenched his eyes shut and took in as deep a breath as possible, holding it like he had been pulled underwater and it might be the last one he ever took. As he opened his eyes he let it out, shaky as it was, and looked back at Callum’s worried face. The coldness seeping in from his still-wet clothes helped ground him a bit, and for that he was thankful.
He wasn’t in Xadia.
He was in Katolis.
He was safe.
“Crossing the border to Xadia can be scary,” Viren continued in the most level tone he could muster, “There’s terrifying dragons and bloodthirsty elves. There’s magical creatures that you couldn’t imagine in your wildest dreams that will gobble you up if you’re not careful.” At “gobble” Viren made sure to give Callum a tickle to his side, which he jumped at at first but began giggling not soon after.
“But, most importantly, it's a very long journey to Xadia and back. As important as my job as High Mage is, I don’t want to miss spending time with Claudia and Soren. My family is just as important to me, if not more so, and I would hate to miss out on them because of my job.”
Callum, for better or for worse, was silent. His expression didn’t betray much, only that he was thinking very hard about something. After a moment of no response, Viren once again began the task of wiping down his face. He tried to smile, lighten the mood that had suddenly gotten so heavy, but all it did was make Viren feel awkward and clumsy. Eventually, he opted to just slide back into his usual “grouch face”.
Viren continued on in silence, fixing Callum’s drying hair once he had finished his face. It didn’t really need to be fixed, it was drying just fine, but for some reason Viren felt rooted to his spot in front of the boy, so he looked for ways to buy time until his legs decided he was allowed to move them. It was just as he finished up on the hair that Callum spoke up again.
“Did King Harrow love my mom?”
The question would’ve made Viren’s heart stop had it been any weaker. Instead, he looked back at Callum with shock written all over his face.
“Did Harrow… love your mother?”
Callum nods, though noticeably nervous.
“Well… I… um,” the words were all jumbled together and every time Viren found a sentence that might work it fell short the moment the first word left his lips. Callum grew more expectant and more worried with each word Viren failed to speak. He was leaning in so far off the stool, any more and he would have fallen.
He wanted to say something, but no words he knew felt appropriate. He knew they loved each other, that was obvious if you spent any amount of time with either, but he wasn’t either of them. He didn’t have that and it certainly wasn’t his place to talk about it. He was pushing a boundary again.
Another thing becoming a habit nowadays.
“He’s not gonna be one of those evil step-dads from the stories, right?” Callum looked as though if Viren answered wrong, this might ruin the relationship between the two. Viren had no frame of reference, but he imagined the look on his face was rather stupid. It matched perfectly with how he felt in the moment.
Why was this on him? Why couldn’t it be someone like Opeli? She knew how to talk to kids. Why couldn’t Harrow get out of his damn bed and talk to Callum? Why, out of every single other person, even General Amaya, the worst person to talk to about feelings, did it have to be him that Callum confided in? At least Amaya is his family. Viren isn’t, he doesn’t know how to talk to kids and he’s terrible with feelings. This is meant to be Harrow’s job.
So why him?
He cleared his throat, and, finally, found some words that proved to be speakable.
“Callum, I really don’t think I’m the person to ask-”
“But you’re his best friend! You know him super well! You have to know!” Callum looked downright scared now.
With a sigh of defeat, Viren acknowledges that, at the very least, he had tried not to ruin another relationship. Though, hopefully, this conversation will go better.
“Harrow isn’t going to be an evil stepfather, I can assure you of that at least. And even if he tries, you can always tell me or your aunt Amaya and both of us would be very willing to give him a stern talking to.”
“Promise?”
Viren hesitated, but only for a moment.
“I promise.”
Callum was silent again, though he seemed far more content this time. Viren’s legs finally felt unstuck and he began trying to clean up what little of the puddle on the ground he could.
“Aunt Amaya always says that she doesn’t like talking to people. She likes fighting instead.”
A genuine smile found Viren’s face.
“She was never one for words. Though in her defence, neither was Sarai.”
Callum paused for a moment, once again clearly thinking.
“Mom said you’re a bad fighter.”
Viren guffawed at that.
“I was only bad because I was fighting against the best warrior in Katolis. Everyone looks like a bad fighter when fighting your mother. I’ll have you know that I have bet Harrow several times in a fight.”
“Has the king ever beaten my mom?”
“Only once. But it was hardly a win.”
“Why?”
Viren paused for a moment and dramatically looked around before leaning in.
“If I tell you you have to swear to secrecy, understood.”
A serious look overcame Callum’s face and he nodded with vigour before closing both of his hands into fists, bringing one up in front of his mouth and the other placed against the first one, just below. It sort of looked like he was trying to toot an invisible trumpet. Viren was willing to assume it was a sign for something and continued with a grin.
“I’m glad you understand the gravity of the situation. You see, Harrow is still proud of the one and only time he ever managed to beat her, but she let him win.”
The shock on Callum’s face at the revelation was far too funny for Viren not to laugh.
“To this day he still doesn’t know, so you have to make sure you never ever tell him. It would make him devastated.”
“What’s devastated?”
“It’s a word for when you feel really, really sad about something.”
“Oh.” Callum paused for a moment. “Why did she let the king beat her?”
“Well, you see, Sarai wanted to propose to Harrow.”
“So they could get married?”
“Yes. But she wanted it to be very… special. For both of them.”
“So she let him win so he could feel special?”
“Yes.”
“Did you help?”
“All I did was make sure there were jelly tarts waiting for them when they had finished.”
“Were they mom’s favourite?”
“Of course. I would have had that spear of hers thrown at me if they weren’t.”
“ Really ?”
“No, no. The only time she ever threatened anyone was if they stole the last jelly tart before she could and I only made that mistake once.”
“What happened?!”
Viren looked at the damp child in front of him and pondered whether he should interrupt the moment for them to go and get changed. His clothes were still bothering him and he didn’t want Callum to catch a cold, but for some reason, he decided against rationale and continued.
“It was a council meeting. A tray of jelly tarts had been left out and I, not knowing who they had belonged to, took the last one.” Viren began increasing the drama. “It was a moment of betrayal, the worst kind, to take something so important to someone and eat it. It was truly unforgivable, so, naturally, Sarai challenged me to duel. It was a fight of epic proportions, at least on her end. For me, it just proved how skilled of a warrior she was. Every time I tried getting up again I was knocked back down within seconds. It was impossible to keep up. In the end, she won with ease and my reputation was in shambles.”
“Really?!” The shocked look on his face clued Viren in that maybe he had gone a bit overboard with the dramatics.
“No, no, I was definitely… embarrassed at having lost so easily, but it was all in good fun. The most painful injury she dealt me was a small scrape on one of my hands from a fall.”
Callum let out a sigh of relief at that and a smile crossed his face. He looked far better now and this was the most Viren had ever heard him talk at once. His eyes weren’t puffy and red anymore and the lack of crumbs all over his face definitely made him more presentable. His smile though, was genuine, at least as far as Viren could tell, and Viren remembered that one thought that had acted as his life raft earlier.
Maybe everything will be okay.
It would be hard, nothing was ever easy, and maybe it would take a while for things to be less turbulent, but he would be okay. So would Callum. And, eventually, Harrow would be able to leave his bed. Resume his roles as a king and a father. Claudia and Soren would be okay too. Soren was healthier now. He talked about wanting to be a soldier. Viren wasn’t fond of the idea, but it made Soren happy so he let him be. Claudia still missed her mother. Viren missed her too, though he tried not to make it obvious. She seemed better now though, and seemed to enjoy the little bits of magic that Viren showed to her from time to time. He had no doubt in his mind now.
Everything will be okay.
Viren stood up with a grunt, his legs hurt even more than they did before from the way he was sitting. He stretched out a hand to Callum and he heard his wrist crack.
He tried to ignore it.
Callum took his hand and hopped down off the stool.
“Do we have to get changed now?”
Viren had nearly forgotten the very thing that had been plaguing him for so long. He tried not to let the sudden awareness of how wet and dirty his clothes were ruin his mood.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Okay,” was all Callum said before skipping off with Viren in tow.