Chapter Text
You are Jake English and you are sitting on top of Dirk as he lies on the bed. Guilt floods you and causes your chest to constrict as you gaze into his eyes. You can see his love for you there but you feel as if you’ve betrayed him.
“Oh Dirk, will you ever forgive me?”
“What have you done this time?” he says lightly.
“I got married.” You blurt. “I didn’t want to! God it all happened so fast…”
“Never happened.” He interrupts.
“What?” Your confusion doubles.
“Never happened.” He repeats.
“But it did happen Dirk. I was there.” You try not to cry. “The troll priest said “Man and wife.””
“Did you say, “I do”? He asks you calmly.
“Ah…no,” you pause to go over events again in your head, “we kinda skipped that part.”
“Then you’re not married.” He states flatly. You look back at him with hope starting to rise in your chest. “You didn’t say it, you didn’t do it.” He reasons. You can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. “Wouldn’t you agree your Condescension?”
You quickly turn your head to see Condesce standing in the doorway.
“A technicality I aim to fix shortly.” She says coldly. You sit up on the bed next to dirk. Looking at Condesce in alarm. “But first things first.” She throws her bouquet to the ground and levels her 2x3dent in your direction. “To the death.” She advances in your direction.
“No.” Dirk Growls. It stops Condesce in her tracks. “To the pain.”
She doesn’t move but blinks once as she tries to digest Dirk’s meaning.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She admits.
“Then let me explain.” Dirk easily replies. “And I’ll use small words so you can understand, you bloated beach ball.”
You watch in fascination as her cheeks turn fuchsia in fury. But her voice remained calm when she answered.
“That may be the first time in my life a human has dared insult me.”
“I sure as hell won’t be the last.” Dirk continued. “”To the pain” means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below your ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.”
“And then my tongue, I suppose,” Sarcasm came dripping from her tone. “I killed you too quickly last time, a mistake I don’t intend to make again.”
“I wasn’t fucking finished!” Dirk shouted stopping Condesce from advancing a second time. “The next thing you lose will be your left eye followed by your right.”
“And then my ears. I understand.” Her exasperation with the conversation was beginning to show. “Let’s get on with it.”
“Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why.” You watch as Dirk defiantly glared at Condesce. “So that every shriek of every child and wiggler at seeing your repulsiveness will ring out clearly to you. Every baby that screams at your approach, every woman who cries out “Dear, Gog, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what “to the pain” means. I means I wreck your shit.”
“You’re lying out of your ass.” She states.
“It’s a possibility, blubberbutt. I might be lying. It’s conceivable, you miserable algal mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand.” You stared on in horror as Dirk said this. “The again... I’m the shit.”
Dirk then slowly sat up and stood beside the bed. Only now do you notice the sword that had been clutched in his hand the entire time. He raised it to point directly at Condesces face and you can see the utter shock on her features as she stares at Dirk.
“Drop. Your. Weapon.” Dirk stated each word with finality.
You watch as the 2x3dent clangs at it falls from her fingers. Dirk then flicks the tip of his sword gesturing to the desk chair.
“Take a seat.” Dirk said quietly. She hurried to comply. You jump up off the bed when Dirk looks at you and flicks his head in her direction. “Tie her up.” You hastily grab a belt and a discarded necktie from the floor and advance on the seething troll. “Make it as tight as you like.”
She grunts in pain as you angrily tighten her bonds to the chair. You all look up when Terezi stumbles in the door. You can see several darkening teal stains on her clothing and one of her hands was clutching her stomach over the largest stain.
“Where’s Gamzee?” She asks Dirk.
“I thought he was with you.”
“No,” Terezi shook her head.
“In that case…” Dirk groaned as he started to collapse to the floor.
“Help him.” Terezi says to you.
“Why does Dirk need help?” You ask alarmed as you rush to his side and drape one of his arms over your shoulder.
“Because he’s as weak as a grub.” Terezi explains.
“I knew you were pulling it out of your ass Strider!” Condesce shrieked. Terezi silenced anything more from her by pointing her sword at her face.
“Should I kill her for you?” She looked in Dirks general direction.
“Nah, thanks though. Whatever happens to us I want her to live her long life forever alone.” Condesce looked at the sword in her face and wisely said nothing.
“Terezi!” You all turn at the sound of Gamzee’s voice coming from outside. “Motherfucker, where are you?”
You all head to the large windows and you watch as Terezi opened one as wide as it would go.
“Ha, there you are.” Gamzee smiled torpidly up at you. “I saw the lusi hives and when I looked there they were. Four Centaur lusi. And I got to thinkin, “There are four of us, if we find the other guy.” He catches your gaze and waves at you, “Hello, other guy.” You grin at him and sheepishly wave back. “So I brought them with me in case we ever fuckin bumped into each other. Huh, I guess we just fuckin did.”
“Ha! Gamzee, you did something right.” Terezi gave him her crazy sharp toothed smile from right next to you.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let it go to my motherfucking head.”
Dirk nudged you and you happily stepped up onto the window ledge, your happiness overflowing at your escape. Your hope for the future is rushing through you, giving you wings as you jump from the window. To freedom.
--------Be Dirk
You watch as Jake sails to the ground to be caught by Gamzee and set on his feet.
You ironically give Terezi a “ladies first” gesture out the window but she looks at you grinning for a moment.
“It’s kinda weird you know.” She said as she leaned back against the window frame. “I’ve been itching for revenge for so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
You can’t help the smirk that edges the corner of your lips as you place a careful hand on her shoulder.
“Ever considered piracy? You’d make an awesome Dread Pirate Strider.” You watch her face as she considers the idea, but you don’t wait for an answer, you just lean out the window and let gravity take over.
Later when you see the sun coming up over the horizon you let relief wash over you and you knew that you were safe. A wave of love sweeps though you as you all stop and you pull up next to Jake. You reach out and gently cup his face with your hand watching his green green eyes laugh merrily, even though he makes no sound. You both lean towards each other at the same moment…
--------Be John
You start in surprise as your dad his the pause button. You look up at him from where you were sitting cross legged on the couch clutching your blanket. You couldn’t tell how wide your eyes were as you watched the end of the movie but from the smug look on your dad’s face you must have been pretty into it. But at this point you could care less.
“Wait. What?” You exclaim.
“They’re going to kiss again. You don’t want to see that.” He informs you.
Your shoulders slump as disappointment threatens to show is face in yours.
“Uh…I don’t mind so much, I guess?”
Your dad just gives you a knowing smile and hits play again.
--------Be Dirk
You are Dirk and you and Jake both lean towards each other at the same moment. Your lips meet and it’s amazing how good it feels. Your breath rushes out through your nose and you gently suck on his lower lip. He gasps and threads one of his hands through your hair.
Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure.
You know that this one left them all behind.
--------Be John
“The End.” Your dad states and shuts the movie off.
You smile at each other as you both sit on the couch.
“Now, I think you should go to bed.” Your dad pokes you in the ribs eliciting a giggle from you.
“Okay.” You get up dragging your blanket with you and stumble upstairs to your room. Before you disappear down the hallway you hear your dad call out to you.
“Good night son.”
You stop and turn back to him.
“Dad?”
He turns and looks up at you from the bottom of the stairs.
“Maybe, we can watch it again tomorrow.” You make it a statement instead of a question.
He smiles widely at you.
“As you wish.”
OMG this took way longer than I was expecting. Thanks to everyone who followed, favorited, and commented! Hope you enjoyed!