Chapter Text
“Rise and shine!” Catra peaked one eye open trying to spot the disturbance. She sure as hell found it. Adora was standing in front of their bed fully dressed. Her hands were on her hips and there was a dorky smile on her face. Catra was not ready for whatever was happening right now. She buried her head in her pillow.
“What time is it ‘Dora?” She asked voice muffled from the pillow and gruff from sleep.
“Seven!” Catra groaned loudly. Since leaving the Horde she had be refusing to wake up before ten.
“Get up! I have a surprise!” Catra’s ears perked up, but she quickly put her hands over them to try to keep Adora from noticing. A surprise would be good if it were not the crack of dawn. Catra moaned and did not move.
“Okay, well you asked for this.” Adora warned in an incredibly cheery voice before stripping the covers off Catra’s body. “Adora what the- “was all Catra could get out before Adora picked her up and slung her over one of her broad shoulders. Catra hissed at Adora, her tail flicking wildly.
“You need to get dressed we will be late.” Adora chastised in a sing-song voice while dumping Catra on the floor. Catra narrowed her eyes before doing what she was told. Though, not without a whole lot of huffing and sighing. As soon as she was done, Adora grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room.
“What is this wonderful surprise that you needed to show me this early in the morning?” Catra asked sharply, rolling her eyes. There was no malice behind her words, just minor annoyance.
“If I told you that would ruin the surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Too bad now come on we’re almost there.”
They were approaching Bright Moon’s Gardens. They were beautiful. There were dozens of color-coordinated flowers and hedges shaped to perfection. The garden lined a walkway to a fountain spilling water. Catra thought it was incredible, except the fountain. She had had too much water for all nine of her lives. But then, Catra saw something- no someone sitting on the ledge of the water fountain. It was Perfuma. Fuck. Catra knew what was coming. Even though she had one thought of maybe going to see Perfuma she was not prepared to do it today.
“Nope.” Catra murmured and turned around to walk the other way. Adora stepped in front of her. She raised a hand to Catra’s cheek and lightly stroked her cheek. Then she started the puppy eyes. She knew that Catra could not say no to those big blue eyes.
Catra rolled her eyes, “Fine. But I will not be coming to anymore ‘surprises.” Adora beamed at her and gave her a peck on the cheek. Catra blushed. Adora took her hand and continued to lead her to Purfuma. Purfuma was perched cross-legged on the edge of the water fountain. Her eyes were closed and she had a soft smile on her face. Catra couldn’t image how that would be comfortable. There were two cushions laid out for Catra and Adora to sit on. They each took a seat on their respective cushions. Catra glanced at Adora as if to say, ‘what do we do?’ Adora shrugged and fiddled with her hands. Catra let out a huff.
Purfuma’s eyes flew open, “Welcome friends! It is lovely to see you two today. Catra, Adora was telling me that your heart chakra is blocked. That is very clear to me now that I see you. Your aura is so dark.” Catra disguised her laugh in a cough. There was no way that was what Adora had said to her.
“Yes,” Adora said tentatively, “But, it’s more that Catra has been struggling talking about her emotions with me.” Catra eyed Adora. She did not want to talk about anything, but Adora seemed sad about Catra not talking to her.
Perfuma hummed to herself, “And how does that make you feel?” Wow, they were starting already. Catra watched Adora closely as she took a deep breath before speaking.
“It makes me upset. Sometimes I feel like Catra- you,” Adora looked at Catra, “don’t trust me.” Catra’s eyes widened.
“That is not true. Not even a little bit.” Catra corrected quickly. Perfuma looked at her and made a motion to continue.
“I- fuck this is hard.”
“Take your time.” Perfuma assured. Adora gave her a reassuring smile.
“I trust you just fine. I- just. Haven’t I done enough? I’ve hurt you in more ways than I’d like to admit so why put more shit on you?” Catra’s eyes were trained to the ground. She didn’t want to see when Adora started to agree with her.
“This isn’t the same.” Adora said in almost a whisper. Catra looked up, yellow and blue meeting the blue gray. “First of all, I already forgave you for what you have done. Second, you are hurting me more by not telling me what’s going on.”
“Why would you forgive me? How? It doesn’t make sense!” Catra was getting worked up, tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill.
“Catra,” Perfuma said delicately, “Hurt people hurt people. You were going through a lot, and you used the best coping mechanisms you had to handle the pain. Obviously, that doesn’t make what you did right. But it does shed light to the situation.”
“Perfuma is right, I know now what you were going through and how that impacted your actions. You also are trying to be better and that’s the reason why I forgive you.” Adora added, that same look from the balcony during the ball. Catra still couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Catra wiped the tears from her cheeks, “Even if you do forgive me, I don’t forgive myself. No matter what I do for Etheria I will never be able to make up for the harm I have caused. I spend every single goddamned day trying to be good and trying to make up for what I have done. But I can’t seem to get past it. Everything replays in my head repeatedly reminding me of how much I have failed. How much I have failed you Adora.” Adora looks at her again with the same look. It wasn’t pity. Was it empathy? Her hand reached out and then retreated as if she knew better not to touch Catra at that moment.
Perfuma looked between them, her eyes settling on Catra, “You don’t have to make up for what you have done. You were in pain and things happened. By punishing yourself for what you have done you’re also punishing those who love you. I can’t speak for Adora, but you healing yourself, giving yourself empathy, and trying to do better is all that anyone could ask for.” Adora nodded.
“Perfuma is right. Also, talking to me so I can help you or at the very least know what is going on would be amazing. I know it will take some time before you can talk freely, but just try for me. We are a team; we need to rely on each other.” Adora smiled at Catra and inched her hand toward the middle as an invitation for Catra to hold it.
Catra took Adora’s hand, “I will try to talk to you. I’ll also stop avoiding going to therapy with you, Perfuma. I guess I just thought that I didn’t deserve the chance to heal.”
“Everyone deserves the chance to heal. Especially you.” Adora affirmed.
Catra smiled at Perfuma, “Thank you, we need to set up those meetings. And you?” She looked straight at Adora before pouncing on Adora and catching her in a massive hug.
“Thank you for making me do this.” she said, talking into Adora’s neck. Adora giggled a ‘you’re welcome.’
I guess talking isn’t that bad. Catra thought, the weight on her shoulders feeling lighter than before.