Chapter Text
“City’s spread thin today.”
“Clearly.”
His first interaction with TK in months, and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it and what he could have done differently, but with everything he thought of, he saw flaws.
They were both on shift, on a call.
That wouldn't be the right time to hash things out with your ex.
Carlos could have texted him after he dealt with the situation at the roof collapse.
No, we’ve tried that. Wouldn’t get a response.
He could have done literally anything else except trip over his words, making things more awkward than they already were.
Carlos had told himself he was over it, over him, repeating to Marjan what he said to himself daily, like little affirmations.
It’s important to know when a thing is over.
He felt like he should get them tattooed at this point. A little reminder on his forearm he could glance at as he moved through yet another day without TK by his side. Carlos felt like he was back on his couch with Michelle, confessing to her that he couldn’t get that damn firefighter out of his head.
The difference now?
There was history.
There was history in their hookups and in their lazy mornings. There were days spent cuddling on the couch after TK’s concussion and Carlos’s appendicitis. There were “I love yous” and “Hey babies.” A year of sobriety, moving in together, watching their home burn down with nothing but ashes in its place. In one fluid motion, TK ran from all of it. It was so achingly similar to that failed dinner so early on in their relationship.
“City’s spread thin today.”
“Clearly.”
Carlos knew that he would eventually end up seeing TK, though he knew chances were lower now that he didn’t work for the city.
TK had started working for Paragon a month before they broke up. Tommy, Nancy, and TK were worn down after waiting for an ambulance bay to open, and accepted positions at the private paramedic company. Carlos remembers a downtrodden TK coming home multiple times, venting to Carlos about how soulless it all was and how he felt like he was a salesman, not a paramedic. He even thought about going back to firefighting for the time being. Through it all, Carlos did what he did best: listen, all while offering words of encouragement.
“I love you,” TK said quietly one night after a rough shift. “I don’t think I would have made it through the last few months without you.”
Carlos pressed a kiss to TK’s forehead. “I love you too.”
There was a pause in the conversation, though Carlos could hear TK’s breath hitch.
“I’m sorry we’re still here,” TK whispered. Owen’s house was getting more crowded by the day. “That last place was perfect, but…” he trailed off, not wanting to even think about the gorgeous downtown loft they had toured a few days earlier.
“We’ll find a place,” Carlos promised. “And I don’t care where I live, baby,” he said, sitting up and adjusting so his chin was resting on TK’s head, the man curled up in his arms. “As long as it’s with you.”
Three days later it all fell apart.
“City’s spread thin today.”
“Clearly.”
The cop snapped back to reality, not even realizing that dispatch had been trying to catch his attention, alerting him to a traffic accident about six blocks away. As he drove towards his next call, he overheard the call from dispatch, something about a boy trapped in a frozen pond. His heart broke hearing that someone might be minutes away from losing their child, saying a silent prayer and hoping the paramedics got there in time.
***
“So..are we gonna talk about it now?”
TK glared over at Nancy, only taking his eyes off the road for a second before going back to focusing on navigating the icy roads. They’d been sent out to a frozen pond on the outskirts of town after a call came through that a boy was stuck under the ice. Fire and rescue were the ones needed for this, but the Paragon crew were the only available units out that way. TK wasn’t scared; he’d done plenty of ice rescues in New York. Impromptu ice hockey games in Central Park always lead to a kid falling through the ice.
“Talk about what?”
Nancy rolled her eyes, staring straight ahead. “It was icy as hell in that store, and I don’t think it was from the storm.”
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “It was perfectly civil, Nance,” TK mumbled.
“Civil as the Civil War.”
“What, were we supposed to just duke it out right then and there?” TK sneered. “I said four words.”
“You could have been nicer.”
“Why should I be?”
She sighed, shifting her position in her seat so she was directly facing TK. “Because you guys are soulmates. Everyone can see that. One silly little argument isn’t going to change that.”
“It wasn’t a silly little argument, Nancy!” TK exclaimed. “Would you just drop it?”
Nancy stared at him with wide eyes, throwing her hands up in defeat as she settled back down into her seat, spending the rest of the ride in silence.
Nancy was right, though. Carlos was his soulmate. TK knew it from the first night they met. It terrified him, the thought of the first person he hooked up with in Austin being the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. Eventually he let go of the fear and dove head first into his relationship with Carlos, only for it to end so disastrously, just like they always did.
He’d been wrong before. He thought Alex was his soulmate too.
Maybe the third time’s the charm , TK thought. Love at first sight didn’t happen to everyone. He thought about his mother telling him about how Owen asked her out eight times before she finally caved and said yes. Maybe one day in the future he’d wake up with Tyler next to him and those feelings of love would just…be there.
Nancy broke the silence, noticing a figure frantically waving in the distance. “That must be them.”
Tommy spoke up from the back as they pulled to the side of the road. “Okay, TK, park the rig right here.”
TK did as he was told, but the ice had different plans.
“Uh, we’re sliding, we’re sliding!” Nancy gripped the dashboard of the rig as they came to a stop.
“Or not.”
“All right, TK, get the ECMO machine ready to go, and start the warming fluids,” Tommy instructed, “Nancy, help me with the gurney. And careful where you step, no one needs a broken tailbone.”
“Copy,” TK and Nancy said in unison.
As they left the ambulance, the man who had called in the emergency approached them. “He’s out there. I put my hat on the ice over where he is so the firefighters can find him when they get here,” the man looked around, “Are they close?”
“They’re all spoken for,” Nancy replied, raising her voice over the wind, “Because of the Snowmageddon.”
“Good news is, I was a firefighter in New York, so this is not my first ice rescue.” TK didn’t want to sound too confident and put hope in the man and woman’s minds. He didn’t have the right tools for a successful ice rescue, but he’d figure it out. The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for a mother coming home without her son.
“Okay but–don’t you need special gear for that?” The man asked as if he was reading TK’s mind.
TK looked over at Nancy and Tommy, acknowledging that the man was right in his thinking.
“I guess we’ll just have to improvise,” Tommy replied, making her way to the rig to see what she could find as TK followed her. Quickly, they gathered sheets and a laryngoscope, tying the sheets together before securing them around TK’s waist as the man army crawled towards the boy.
“TK, are you sure about this?” Tommy asked, holding onto the sheets tightly.
“Don’t worry, Cap! I did a bunch of these back in the day in Central Park. This is no different.”
“You’re using a bedsheet as a life ring and a laryngoscope as an ice pick. It’s different!” Nancy responded, watching cautiously as TK made it farther and farther away from the base.
“Valid point.” TK felt the ice cracking beneath him, taking deep breaths with every crawl he took towards the makeshift marker indicating where the boy was. It was different, but the steps were all the same. Pick through the ice, grab the boy, get pulled back to base. Save a life.
“I see the kid!” TK yelled as he moved the hat and wiped away the snow, staring at the unconscious boy trapped under the ice. “There’s no hole, I’m gonna have to break through the ice!”
He started the process, repeatedly slamming the ice pick into the sheet of ice separating him from the boy, the laryngoscope breaking after a few minutes.
“How’s it going?” Tommy yelled out, watching him carefully.
“Well, it turns out it’s easier with a pickaxe,” TK yelled back.
After a few more tries, the ice finally broke, TK grabbing the boy from the water.
“I’m through! I’ve got him!” TK yelled, putting the makeshift life ring around the unconscious boy.
Everything that happened next felt like it was in slow motion.
The ice beneath him started to crack, TK not even realizing what was about to happen until he fell into the icy pond, boy still in his arms.
***
Time stood still as TK felt his entire body tense as he fell in, the chill of the water piercing him like a million little needles through his skin, still holding onto the boy as best he could. After a few seconds, the shock of the water was too much, and he and the boy started sinking to the bottom of the pond. He heard muffled sounds that he recognized to be Nancy and Tommy screaming.
“ TK!”
“Hey, don’t let go!”
“Pull him up!”
Less than a minute after the ice cracked, TK managed to pull them both up to the surface, gasping for breath as his paramedic partners pulled him towards land. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the women carefully making their way across the ice towards him.
“Don’t! Stay there!” He shouted, gasping in between words. One paramedic down was enough.
“Pull us towards you!”
They did as they were told, getting the pair onto solid ground before they quickly transferred the unconscious boy to a gurney.
After a few setbacks, including the rig sliding down the icy embankment, the paramedic team were stationed in the older couple’s car, trying desperately to bring the young boy back to life.
“TK, I need you to prep the femoral,” Tommy instructed the two paramedics stationed in the back of the minivan.
“Are those turtles?” Nancy asked as she looked over, eyeing a storage bin filled with the reptiles.
“They’re in shock from the cold. We were taking them to the aquatic warming center,” the woman responded, “Poor things are practically frozen solid.
“Yeah, I can relate,” TK shivered, trying to control the tremors in his hands. A chill had set itself deep in his bones, but he ignored it as best he could in order to help save the boy.
TK watched Nancy and Tommy set the boy up on the portable ECMO machine, rubbing his hands together and trying to focus on his breathing, watching as little puffs of air appeared as he exhaled. Seeing his breath when it was cold was something he thought he would leave behind in New York. He tried to ignore Tommy’s worried glances every time one of his shaking hands handed her a tool.
After a tense few minutes, the boy woke up, lips returning to a normal color as he coughed up water.
“It’s all right, you’re okay,” Tommy said with a smile, “You’re gonna be okay.”
The woman smiled down at the scene before her, “Where can I get one of those ECMOs for my turtles?”
“They’re online. They retail for about 100k,” Nancy responded.
***
TK doesn’t remember much after the boy woke up.
He doesn’t remember leaving the van.
He hears Nancy and Tommy calling out his name, but he doesn’t know where it’s coming from.
He doesn’t remember wandering out into the cold, removing his clothes and laying in the snow.
He doesn’t even realize anything is wrong until Nancy and Tommy find him curled up naked on a snowbank, shivering, frost covering every inch of his body, and reciting Hebrew he thought his brain had long forgotten.
“TK!”
He cracked one eye open, seeing the rest of his team making their way to him.
“Hey Cap, hey Nance,” he responds, shivers cutting through each word.
“We’ve got some blankets for you, babe,” Tommy responded, attempting to cover the man in one.
“I’m good, thanks,” TK looked up, shaking his head. He wasn’t cold anymore. There was a heat overtaking his body that he knew wasn’t good.
“Said the guy getting frostbite on his ass,” Nancy smirked.
“I said get away!” TK yelled, blindly grabbing for a nearby stick and pointing it towards the women. “I said get away!”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Tommy responded, hands up in the air before she tried to wrap him in the blanket again.
“Stop, stop, stop,” TK pleaded, trying his best to scoot away from them in his weakened state. “I’m burning up and this feels better.” He laid his head back in the snow, closing his eyes. He listened to Tommy and Nancy as they assessed him, their voices fading in and out.
“Combativeness, it’s a symptom of severe hypothermia.”
“Was just putting that together.”
TK responded with more Hebrew, reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish. It was something he hadn’t said since he was twelve years old and his bubbe died. How could he still remember it?
“Now he’s speaking in tongues?”
“Pretty sure it’s Hebrew,” Tommy responded to Nancy, standing over TK, taking advantage of his weak state to wrap him in the blankets.
“TK, all your blood has left your extremities. It’s around your core now, that’s why you feel so hot. It’s called paradoxical undressing. It means you’re near fatal.”
“And we’re not about to let you freeze to death on our watch,” Nancy chimed in, helping Tommy with the blankets, “So you can get up now and walk out, or get dragged out.”
It was hard to concentrate on both the women’s words, but he got the gist as the blurry figures worked around him. If he listened to Tommy and Nancy and got in the rig and used some warming fluids in addition to some quick tests at West Park, he’d be good as new in time for their next shift. He could still make it to Nancy’s game night. Hopefully his trip to the emergency room would be a quick in and out, so he wouldn’t even have to tell Tyler. Like Tyler would care, anyway. The man didn’t seem too impressed by TK’s job or concerned about the dangers he faces every day.
It was another thing that TK kept in the back of his mind: how nonplussed Tyler was about the intricacies that make up TK. Not like Carlos.
TK nodded, allowing the women to lift him up and cover him in a blanket to guide him to safety. “Okay,” he whimpered.
“Good choice, buddy,” Nancy replied, rubbing her hands up and down TK’s arm. “When were you gonna tell us you speak Hebrew?”
“I don’t,” he replied, trying to focus on his steps, “Not since I was ten in Hebrew school.”
“Well, it looks like some of it stuck,” Tommy said.
As the women guided him back towards the main road, TK thought about how today would have gone differently if he and Carlos were still together. He knew they would have woken up together, in that loft that would be their home. They would have enjoyed their morning coffee together, kissing and whispering “have a safe shift” as they parted ways. They’d be checking in throughout the day, swapping stories of intense calls and hoping the other would return home safely that night.
The furniture store would have gone differently, too. He would have been thrilled to see his boyfriend’s patrol car parked outside the buildingl, a grin spreading across his face as it usually did when they ended up on a call together. They always kept it professional when they ran into each other in the field, but even just the sight of the other was all they needed.
The last thing he thought about before everything went black was Carlos.
***
“363-H20, come in.”
“Carlos?”
Carlos was driving back to the station when his radio squawked to life. The voice didn’t sound like Grace, or anyone else at dispatch. It sounded like–
“Nancy?”
“Hey, bud,” she replied, her voice sounding stoic. “What’s up?”
“Driving back to the station,” he replied slowly, trying to decipher why she was reaching out to him. “Everything okay?” he snickered into the radio, “Or are you just trying to get my answer about game night?”
A minute of silence lingered between the two of them before Nancy responded.
“No, it’s not that,” she said quietly, and Carlos swore he heard her sniffle, as if she’d been crying. “TK’s at West Park. In the ICU. He wants to see you.”
Carlos felt time stop.
He had so many questions that he hoped Nancy could answer. Why was TK in the ICU? Why did he want to see Carlos? If their interaction from earlier in the day was any indication, Carlos felt like he was the last person TK wanted to see while stuck in a hospital bed.
“Me? Are you sure?”
“Can you just hurry, please?” Nancy snapped, and Carlos heard the unmistakable beeping of machines in the background. Nancy’s demeanor made it sound like there was something more serious going on.
“Turning around now. Give me fifteen.”
He was no stranger to West Park’s ICU. His abuelo’s heart attack when he was nine. His father getting injured during an investigation and fracturing his hip when Carlos was fifteen. TK getting shot just over a year ago. The steps through the front door and to the third floor of the building were almost second nature to him. As he approached his destination, he saw Nancy sitting in the waiting room. She noticed his presence and immediately made her way towards him.
“Hey bud,” she said, pulling Carlos in for a hug, almost too tight of a hug , Carlos thought, the concern showing on his face. “I appreciate you coming by,” she said as they made their way through the double doors into the ICU. “Especially while you’re still on shift.”
“Mmhmm.” Carlos had a right to be on edge. He wanted to believe that TK truly wanted him here, but there was something in him that just couldn’t grasp that fact.
“I know he will too.”
“Yeah?” Carlos scoffed, “Typical TK. First time that he wants to talk to me in months and of course, it’s because he’s in the ICU.”
“About that.”
Carlos turned to face Nancy after signing the ICU check-in book. “What?”
Nancy took a deep breath. “TK didn’t ask me to radio you today.”
Carlos rolled his eyes. “What? You said that he wanted me here.” He thought that maybe if he left now, he could make it back to the station in time to finish his paperwork before his shift was officially over.
Nancy chuckled nervously, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “I did kinda say that, didn’t I?”
Carlos shot her an incredulous look. “Yeah, you did.”
“Yeah, well…that was a lie.”
Carlos frowned, shifting on his feet. He was still so confused as to what was happening, why he was there. He took a quick glance around, not seeing TK anywhere. Why couldn’t Nancy just come out and say it? He’d never felt more stupid than in that moment, the way that he dropped everything to rush to his ex-boyfriend’s bedside.
“A lie? Why would you lie about–”
“Excuse me,” A small auburn-haired woman wandered over to them, “I’m sorry to interrupt.” The woman gestured towards Nancy. “Are you one of the paramedics that rescued the boy in the ice?”
The woman’s words helped Carlos start to piece the puzzle together. He’d heard about the young boy trapped in the ice, thankful that he was rescued and alive, but it seemed like there was more to the story.
“Yes,” Nancy replied to the woman, nodding her head.
“You’re a hero.”
Nancy shuddered, a small smile on her face as she looked at the woman. “No, the hero is my friend TK, who–” Nancy glanced over at Carlos– ”Who went into the drink to save your son.”
Carlos’s brain started to spin, the expression on his face growing more concerned as Nancy continued speaking with the woman.
“How’s your son doing, by the way?”
The woman smiled, and Carlos could practically see the relief flow through her body. “The doctor’s say Abe is gonna make a full recovery. I just want you to know how grateful we are, and that we are all praying for your friend,” her voice broke on the last part of the sentence as she walked towards Nancy, placing a gentle hand on the paramedic’s shoulder before walking away.
“Thank you,” Nancy choked out before turning her attention to Carlos.
“How serious is it, Nancy?” Carlos didn’t even let her take a moment to explain the interaction with Abe’s mother.
He put it together himself. TK saved that boy from the ice, and there must have been complications in the rescue. Nothing out of the ordinary for the selfless (and danger-prone) man that TK was, but Carlos couldn’t help but think this was the one time his ex-boyfriend may be meeting his end. No wonder Nancy called him here. She called him to the ICU so Carlos could say goodbye.
“Honestly?” Nancy swallowed, tears forming in her eyes, “It’s not good. Cap’s finding out the latest now.”
Just then, Tommy appeared out of a hospital room. Carlos noticed TK behind her, the sight taking his breath away.
It’s not that he hadn’t seen TK in a hospital bed before. At this point, Carlos was sure that TK had some sort of punch card at the ready, from gunshot wounds, to concussions, to the gash in his hand from cutting vegetables that had sent TK to the ER a few months ago. It was the addition of seeing TK on a ventilator, and knowing it meant TK wasn’t breathing on his own. This could very well be the end for TK, and Carlos never got to say what he needed to.
“Cap?”
Tommy took a deep breath as she looked at Carlos and Nancy.
“We need to find his father.”
***
“Have we gotten in touch with Owen?” Carlos spoke softly. He was in the ICU waiting room, sitting next to Tommy. Nancy had gone to grab water for the three of them.
“Not yet,” she replied, staring straight ahead. “Cell signal is out across the state.”
Carlos nodded, leaning back into the seat and staring straight ahead just like Tommy. There wasn’t much any of them could do but wait.
“I radioed the team.”
Carlos looked up to see Nancy, three bottles of water in her hand that she silently passed to each of them before sitting down. “Marj, Judd, Mateo, Paul,” she took a shaky breath in. “Judd said he’s already on his way to Grace, he’ll tell her then.”
Tommy and Carlos nodded in unison, silence blanketing the ICU.
After hours of sitting and waiting for any change in news, they finally saw a familiar face.
“Oh, hey guys.”
Carlos looked up to see Mateo with a taller blonde man trailing behind him. It wasn’t anyone he’d seen before, but he still looked so familiar.
“Hey, Mateo,” Carlos looked up as Nancy hugged Mateo, simply giving the stranger behind him a quick nod. Carlos watched as Nancy stiffened,his heart flipping in his chest. There was definitely more to the story here than was being let on.
“Wasn’t expecting to see you here, Carlos,” Mateo laughed nervously, wringing his hands together. “How’d you find out?”
“Nancy radioed me,” he said solemnly, going back to staring at the wall. Mateo was constantly looking around, then back at the blonde man behind him.
“Right, right,” Mateo replied, shooting a glare at Nancy that spoke volumes, Nancy returning the glare with a shrug.
Carlos had enough, nudging Nancy. “What’s going on?”
Before Nancy spoke, Mateo interrupted. “I just…wasn't expecting you to be here, I guess, Carlos,” he shrugged, looking back once again at the blonde stranger standing behind him. “So I brought…”
“Tyler,” the man reached his hand towards Carlos, who shook it cautiously. “Carlos Reyes,” he responded. “Tyler, is it?”
Even with TK never going by his first name saying it out loud still stung, especially as he glanced over at a lifeless TK being kept alive only by machines.
“Yeah, Tyler,” he chuckled, pushing his fingers through his hair. “TK’s boyfriend.”