Chapter Text
Marie barely got any sleep that night. She actually went home early for her standards, but her ghosts came back to haunt every time she closed her eyes. Eventually, she gave up and got up to help her younger kids get ready for school. Her oldest, Charles, was walking them to school and back today. He loved to play tough, but he was a softie with his younger siblings. Definitely took it from Nile.
His relationship with her had been rocky the past few years as he had never agreed with her decision to flee, but he seemed to have gained a better understanding of why she’d done it as he matured. She hadn't blamed him for his anger, he’d been a grieving teen who was forced to leave everything behind over a war he didn’t fully understand. If anything, she blamed herself for shielding him so much from the whole thing that he had failed to comprehend the urgency in her actions.
Now, however, he even helped with Hope and Erwin. She’d never expected or asked him for it, he was still a kid and it was not his responsibility to parent his younger siblings. In fact, she’d done her best to keep him from the hardships of being a single mom in a strange land with three kids…. The help, however, was certainly very welcome, especially today.
Marie made them breakfast, packed their lunch and helped braid Hope’s hair. As she walked the kids to the door, she explained that she’d have friends over and that they might still be here by the time they got back.
Charles and Hope looked weirdly at her as she never had “friends” over, but didn’t question it. Hope actually seemed pleased, probably hoping Marie was making some friends outside her family. For all her popularity, she still kept people at arm's length. She’d tell them enough for them to think they knew her, but never enough to truly let anyone in. Charles told her to be safe and not to worry as he’d take care of Hope and Erwin. Marie thanked him and waved them goodbye.
Once alone, she started cleaning and reorganizing the house, mostly to take her mind off things. She also got out a bottle of wine she’d be certainly drowning in tonight. Time seemed to have slowed down, much like in the days following the Rumbling, when she held her kids close and waited for the news she was coming, but would never be ready to face. Even after the news of Nile’s death had spread, despite her better judgment, she still hoped to see him walking through the door saying it’d been just a mistake. LSometimes she liked to think he was still out there somewhere, looking for them. She knew he was gone, but a good daydream was a powerful thing. Maybe today would be the day the dream would finally be laid to rest.
Already in the afternoon, Marie heard the knock on the door. She breathed deep and calmed herself before facing her guests.
Opening the door, all I took was one look at them to feel the tension. Let's do this.
“I’m glad you came. Please, come in.”
Levi entered first, leaning heavily on a cane. Falco and Gabi followed him, their heads down, averting Marie’s eyes. Falco, she understood, but Gabi seemed different from the times she’d seen her before. Her tough attitude was gone. She looked young.
“We can discuss things over there. Do you want something to eat or drink?” Marie said, guiding them to her living room.
“It’s fine.” Levi replied as he sat on the couch. Gabi and Falco just shook their heads. “Are your kids home?”
“No, they’re at school. Would like for you to meet them, but I felt this required more privacy than they could give us. Whatever you have to say, we have time. I might tell them later though.” Levi nodded. “I know you wouldn’t have come here if it weren’t important so, please, just give it to me straight.”
“Alright. Are you aware of what Zeke did? On that day?”
“Yes.” Marie answered, barely containing her anger. Fuck. It had been years, but the bare mention of his name still filled her with such hatred. How did one single person take both Nile and Erwin from her? "His scream turned members of the military into titans. Nile included."
“Yes, before that, the yeagarists had imprisoned Nile alongside other soldiers….”
“Makes sense, why is that -”
“It’s important. Falco was there with him. He can explain it better."
Oh.
“It’s uh, I was - Me and Gabi, we-”
"Falco, breathe. It’s okay. Take your time." Marie tried to be comforting despite being pretty sure of where this was going, Nile either had died for those kids or been killed by them. Only that would explain Levi dragging them all the way to her house, especially considering his very public dislike of Nile.
All in all, she appreciated the consideration.
"Me and Gabi, we, uh, snuggled in a Paradisian airship after the invasion on Marley…”
Marie remembered how desperately against that invasion Nile had been. He believed it had done more harm than good as he had naively hoped the conflict could be solved without further bloodshed, arguing that Erwin had basically thrown a coup d’etat without spilling a single drop of blood… He hoped for a similar outcome with the outside world. A brutal display like that would only complicate matters. He couldn’t have been more right.
“You see, we had just lost some close friends and we'd always been told people from paradise were demons and Gabi, she, uh -"
"I killed a girl from Levi's squad. Sasha Braus. In the airship."
Levi said nothing, but Marie saw the hint of sadness that crossed his face. She never doubted for one second how much he cared about the people under his command and protection. And how much the lives lost weighed on him.
And poor Gabi, a child soldier. Following orders and fake ideals drilled into her head without having the maturity nor the information to question what she was being told to do and to believe in. She was turned into a weapon and then tossed to the lions. It would never have ended well. And then there was the girl that died… Probably a kid too, who had her life ripped away from her while fighting to defend her homeland. War was truly a pointless thing.
"Me and Falco tried to hide, everyone was after us. I get it, I killed one of them… Then, uh -” Her voice wavered.
“We ended up meeting Sasha’s family…” Falco stepped in. “They were so kind." Holy fuck . "What matters is that eventually we met Niccolo, he’s from Marley so we thought we could trust him, but he - He was in love with Sasha and he attacked Gabi for killing her. I couldn’t let him - He was going to smash a bottle in her head. I couldn’t - I tried to protect her.” Gabi looked at him so lovingly. It was an expression Marie hadn’t seen on her face yet, but it suited her.
“He hit Falco with a wine bottle instead of me. He saved me.” She finished for him. “The bottle had Zeke’s spinal fluid… Falco ended up drinking some of it…”
"I was eventually taken to the same place they'd taken other people who had drank the wine. Nile was there. We were technically enemies, but he was protective of me.”
Sounds like him.
“He wasn’t even scared, just remorseful mostly. He regretted and feared he wasn’t going to see you and his kids again. He loved you all so much.” Marie was trying her best to keep her composure, but knowing some of his last thoughts had been of home were making it hard to keep her feelings at bay. “He said he wanted to help me go home… When Marley invaded, they let the prisoners out. Me and Nile included. We were on foot… Colt was there. He’s - was my brother.” Poor kid. “He was looking for me… Nile spotted him… He told the other soldiers he was going to take me to a house to tie me up so I didn’t escape, but he just handed me to my brother… I’m probably alive because of what he did. I wish I’d gotten the opportunity to thank him… I wish I - I could’ve done more for him.”
“That was not your responsibility. You having survived is enough to honor him. If anything… I’m glad you were there.” Marie said earnestly.
“I did nothing.”
“You allowed him to have something to fight for in those last few moments. It’s more than I hoped for.”
“I know it probably means nothing to you, but I think you should know that his words about you and your family made me realize how little time we have, which gave me the courage to tell Gabi how I feel about her...”
“Oh - It does mean a lot. Thank you for telling me.” She was glad her husband hadn’t changed even in the face of war and certain death. Knowing he’d died as he had lived was a relief, a consolation even. Still, she was convinced there was more to come. Gabi and Levi had been too quiet for a while now. There had been too much anxiousness in their behavior for this to be it. “If you don’t mind me asking, did you not turn into a titan when Zeke -?”
“I did… but Porco, he was the jaw titan, I -”
“It’s alright. I’m sorry I asked.” She could only imagine the guilt he must’ve felt. Still feel. She offered the boy a comforting smile and turned to Levi. “Alright. What more you had to tell me? This can’t be it.”
“I think you already know.”
“Yes.” Marie kept her tone even, refusing to fall apart until she was alone and no one could see the damage.
“Go on.” Levi looked to Gabi, who nodded, but lowered her eyes.
“There’s something I should tell you. It happened after - I- Levi thought you deserved to know. I don’t know you, not really, but yeah -.”
“Gabi. Just get it over with.” Levi said, looking intently at Marie now. She wondered if he was gauging her reaction.
“Uh - after your husband handed Falco to his brother, Zeke used his scream and, uh- you know-”
Marie nodded, trying to keep calm even if she was terrified of what Nile had done in his titan form despite knowing that wasn’t really him.
“We didn’t see him turn. I didn’t even know who he was… but there was this girl, Kaya, she lived with Sasha’s family. A titan, Nile’s titan, was going to kill her… I - I protected her.”
Oh.
“I didn’t know who that titan was at that time, but me and Falco eventually connected the dots - We would’ve told you when we first met, but we weren’t sure -”
Marie thought she’d have a stronger reaction to hearing that from the person who dealt the final blow, but she felt mostly numb. Somewhat relieved to have all the facts.
“The girl he was going to - Is she alright?”
Gabi looked surprised, but nodded. Marie would’ve hated for Nile’s last action to have been killing an innocent. He wasn’t a saint by any measure, but he genuinely believed in protecting the people of Paradise and worked hard to avoid the spilling of innocent blood. Even if it meant he had been rather naïve at certain moments. To have that ripped away at his last moments would’ve been too cruel. Too unfair. Not that the world was fair, but she wouldn’t complain of whatever small mercies she was granted.
“How did you -”
“With a rifle.”
“Was it quick?” The words came out faster than she could control. What a stupid question.
“Yes. He wouldn’t have felt it.”
“Alright. That’s… good .” Marie breathed deep. “Thank you for telling me.”
“That’s it? You’re not gonna yell or anything?” Gabi sounded genuinely so surprised it made Marie almost offended. What image did they have of her? What the fuck was being mad going to do? It wouldn’t bring Nile back, it wouldn’t change anything, at best it would only add to that girl’s guilt.
“You did nothing wrong. If anything I should thank you for preventing Nile from becoming what he most hated.”
“What the fuck? How are you okay with any of this? I killed your husband and you’re thanking me?”
“Gabi!” Falco scolded. That girl carried so much guilt. This was more than about killing Nile. She saw punishment as forgiveness.
“I’m not okay with it. Far from it!” Calm down. Even your tone. “But - I understand what you did. Why you did it.” She could feel Levi’s gaze on her.
“Why aren’t you calling me a murderer? Why don’t you hate me?”
“I’ve grown to learn that hate is rather pointless. I like to think I would’ve done the same you did in that situation... None of us are innocent. I can’t give you the absolution you’re looking for, but for what it’s worth, on my part, you’re forgiven.” Gabi didn’t seem fully pleased, but it shut her up.
“Tsk.”
“What?” Marie and Gabi asked at the same time.
“You sound just like him.”