Chapter Text
Kanan
No one in the crew could hold still. Kanan was bouncing his knee, Sabine was tapping her foot, Hera was rocking back and forth, and Zeb was full-on pacing, Chopper in tow. It had been 4 hours without a single update, and it was taking its toll on everyone.
Zeb groaned. "This is taking too long. They've gotta have some news."
"Remember, Zeb," Hera said. "No news is good news. If they haven't come to talk to us, that means they're still with Ezra."
Kanan was doing his absolute best to tune them out and tune in to Ezra. His force signature was weaker than Kanan had ever felt it, and for the last hour, it had begun flickering out.
For the past four hours, the only thing on Kanan's mind was keeping the kid's head above water. It was proving to be an increasingly difficult task as he ran lower and lower on energy. He'd nearly passed out multiple times and found himself very glad to be sitting in a chair. He knew he couldn't keep this up for much longer. He just prayed it would be long enough for Ezra to be okay.
"Damnit," Kanan heard Sabine whisper as a tear ran down her cheek once more. She'd been crying on and off the whole time, and while she tried her best to stop, her efforts were futile.
"Sabine?" He called to make sure she was okay.
"Sabine, it's okay to be upset," Hera reminded her for the fourth time that day.
"I know, I'm just... damnit... I shouldn't be this upset about it."
"What?" Hera asked.
"Sabine, what's that supposed to mean?" Kanan asked, confused. Those two were like siblings! Being upset was perfectly reasonable.
"I just... I shouldn't be so attached. I mean, he hasn't even been around us for that long!" Sabine confessed. "I can't keep getting so attached to people. It always ends like this."
The rest of the crew glanced at each other with concern. None of them had any idea she felt this way.
"Sabine..." Hera said softly. "It's okay to be attached. He's like your little brother. We're a family, and we care about each other."
"I know, I'm sorry," she rushed out.
"Don't be sorry, Sabine. You can't have anything to be sorry for if you did nothing wrong," Kanan said, firm yet gentle at the same time. "And besides, it's not ending like anything. Ezra's still alive."
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. He's gonna be fine," Sabine assured herself.
"That's right," Kanan answered.
It was just for a moment. He'd been doing so good, and he thought it would be harmless. It should've been.
Kanan took his focus off of Ezra.
It must've just been bad timing, right? Right? Regardless, the moment Kanan removed focus, Ezra's life force crumbled, and the force bond began fraying.
"No. No no no no no. C'mon, kid."
"Kanan? What is it?"
Kanan had no time to answer as he desperately tried to repair the bond, but it was too late. The bond snapped.
Kanan's eyes snapped open, and he cried out in sheer agony. It felt like a hole had been ripped into his chest, eerily similar to when master Biliba was killed.
"Kanan! What's wrong?!" Hera shouted, rushing to his side.
Kanan held onto her as the pain radiated throughout his entire body. He cried out again, but this time with grief. Hera held on to him like she was the last thing keeping him here.
"He's gone, Hera..." Kanan said, so quietly that he could barely hear himself.
"What?" she breathed.
"What'd you mean, Kanan?" Zeb asked.
"He's dead, Zeb. Ezra didn't make it."
The room fell into a stunned silence, aside from Kanan's sobs and the beginnings of tears from Hera. Zeb dropped quickly to the floor, and while he was clearly trying to suppress it, he also descended into sobs.
After several minutes of the entire crew mourning, including Chopper, who was warbling sadly, Sabine spoke up.
"Can you help him?"
Kanan just shook his head sadly. "He's gone, Sabine."
"No. No, you need to help him!" She shouted.
"I can't Sabine," Kanan said, his grief changing to aggravation. "The bond snapped, just like when master Biliba died. There's nothing I can do."
Kanan went back to squeezing Hera as they cried together. Although she was near silent, Kanan could feel her sobs. He knew in that moment that nothing would ever be the same again.
"No."
Kanan looked up, surprised. It was Sabine.
"You're not giving up on him."
"Sabine, I know this is hard, but there's nothing I can-" Kanan tried.
"No," Sabine interjected. "You did it before. Why can't you do it again?"
It wasn't a question. It was an accusation.
"This is different. The bond-"
"I don't give a shit," Sabine snapped. "Ezra would never give up on you, don't you dare give up in him."
Kanan looked at her with surprise. He knew he would have to try, whether he liked it or not. For Ezra.
"That kid would go to hell and back for his friends. The least we can do is try."
Kanan sighed, relenting. He dove into the force, deciding to try where the bond had once been. To his surprise, there were still what seemed like frayed remnants. He also found that he could... manipulate them, of sorts.
As Kanan was knitting the bond back together, he noticed the faintest spark of life in Ezra. Focusing on it, he found that he could still provide Ezra with some of his strength.
So, he did the only logical thing he could do. He gave Ezra as much energy as he possibly could without dying.
His crew surrounded him, noticing his struggle, but he barely noticed them. He was far too focused on breathing life back into Ezra.
As he struggled, he cried out with the immense effort that this was taking, but he could feel Ezra's spark of life growing, so he kept pushing.
"You can do this, Kanan!" Hera encouraged.
With one final, mighty push, Kanan's energy was spent. He collapsed to the ground as he felt the bond restore itself fully.
The last thing he saw were the faces of his crew, before his vision faded to black.
When Kanan came to, all he felt was a dull pounding in his head. Yet, somehow, he had no idea how.
He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Hera standing over him. She would always pretend she didn't, but she tended to fuss over him quite a bit.
"Morning, sleepy head," she said, noticing he was awake.
"Hey..." he answered, feeling disoriented. "What happened?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me," she answered. "You just passed out after trying to help Ezra and have stayed like this for a full rotation."
Suddenly, it all came back to him. Ezra being hurt, the bond being ripped away, and trying to repair it.
"Please tell me that worked," Kanan pleaded.
Hera sighed deeply, filling Kanan's heart with fear until she answered.
"It worked. Barely, but he's still hanging on."
Kanan leaned his head back and let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
"Thank the force," he whispered. "Can I see him?"
Hera seemed to think for a moment. "I think you need to be checked over first."
Kanan sighed and laid back down. "How is he doing?"
"Not good," Hera answered quickly. "There's been a lot of bleeding and enough damage to his lungs that he's not breathing on his own anymore."
Kanan just nodded, trying his best not to feel how much this hurt him.
Before he really had much time to think about it, the medical droid came in.
"Ah, master Jarrus. It is good to see you awake," it said. "I believe you could be up and around fairly soon, I just need to check if you're fully stable."
"Think you can give me the rundown on Ezra while you do that?" Kanan asked, not wanting to waste any time.
"Of course, sir," it answered. "Commander Ezra Bridger came into our facility nearly thirty hours ago with severe injuries to the chest and abdomen. After many hours of internal bleeding, infection, and a febrile seizure, he was rushed into emergency surgery where it was found that he had six broken ribs, a moderate concussion, and a burn across his mid abdomen. Our main concern is the mass amount of internal bleeding that occurred and the ribs piercing his lungs, both likely caused by blunt force."
"Blunt force, huh?" Kanan inquired. He still had no idea what actually happened.
"Yes. Do you know what occurred to cause such damage?" The droid asked.
Kanan shook his head sadly. "I was hoping you might be able to tell me."
"It is quite difficult to say, aside from his injuries being caused by blunt force," the droid said. "Now, back to what I was saying, during surgery, the patient coded, yet, because we were preforming a full chest surgery, we could take very few steps to revive him. The patient very nearly died, yet somehow, miraculously even, he came back on his own."
"That must've been you, Kanan," Hera said quietly.
This barely sunk in as he was too stunned by how close he'd come to losing his padawan. He put his head in his hands as he processed it all. If he was being honest, it was Sabine who saved Ezra. Without her, Kanan would've succumbed to his grief.
The droid began talking again, shaking Kanan out of his thoughts.
"During surgery, we repaired his ribs and stopped the bleeding in his stomach and lungs. Although we tried, there was far too much damage to his lungs to be repaired in surgery. We are now having him rest while his body repairs itself, and he will be intubated until further notice. We also have him on some very strong antibiotics to fight the infection from the transfusion."
"That's um... that's a lot," Kanan said.
"Like I said," Hera responded. "He's not doing well."
"This appears to be quite an exaggeration, as Commander Bridger has a 75 percent chance of survival," the droid said, earning itself matching dirty looks from Kanan and Hera.
"Yeah, not helpful," Hera snapped back.
"My apologies, Captain Syndulla," it said. "Master Jarrus, it seems you are cleared to visit Commander Bridger if you wish."
Kanan had hardly even realized that the droid had been assessing him or that his shirt was missing. He threw it on as soon as Hera gave it to him and stood up quickly. He was hit abruptly by a wave of dizziness and was steadied by Hera.
"I would recommend that you take things slowly," the droid said.
"Yeah, I gathered," Kanan retorted.
Leaving the medical droid behind, Kanan and Hera walked quickly to Ezra's room.
When they opened the door, Kanan's breath was taken away. By the force, that kid looked awful. Kanan had been prepared for him to be intubated, but it was still hard to see. He was so pale that his normally olive skin tone had turned to a sickly yellow, and despite him being completely unconscious, he had dark circles under his eyes.
Kanan walked up quickly to him, barely noticing his team that surrounded Ezra. Running a hand through Ezra's hair, he did his best to hold it together. For the team.
"Hey, kid," he said quietly to Ezra. "Told you you'd be okay."
"Commander Bridger is currently sedated and can not hear you," the droid stated.
"Hera, can you shoo him out?"Kanan asked.
"Yup," she answered quickly, physically pushing him out the door.
With the obnoxious medical droid gone, the room fell into a somber silence. Everyone in the crew was watching Ezra, but none of them could find the heart to speak.
Until Hera.
"You really hurt yourself good, huh?"
It was quiet, yet everyone in the room heard it. Aside from Kanan, no one ever really heard her speak that softly. None of them had ever heard her speak to them while they were unconscious.
That was just how she was. She was strict with her crew, especially the kids, but she worried about them constantly. Force forbid any one of them got hurt. Kanan knew she'd been beating herself up over this, even though it wasn't her fault.
"So... how long's he gonna stay like this?" Zeb asked, being the second to break the silence.
"There's no telling," Hera answered. "He's starting fighting the life support, so it shouldn't be long now. They're trialing him off the intubation tomorrow, but there's just no telling when he'll actually be awake."
"Always dramatic, ain't he?" Zeb said.
Almost as if he was trying to respond, Ezra made a strange noise that was somewhere between choking and groaning.
"You awake, kiddo?"
Ezra whimpered in response and began choking. His chest seized as he became aware of his surroundings and opened his eyes.
"Sabine, I need you to get that droid back in here," Kanan ordered, turning his attention to Ezra. "Ezra, I know this is scary, but you need to stay calm."
Ezra made no response. In fact, he didn't look like he even understood where he was.
"I got him!" Sabine said, rushing in as tears began pouring down Ezra's face.
"Ah, it appears that the patient has begun fighting the intubation. A good sign!" The droid said, far too calmly.
"We can see that! Now, are you going to help him or not?" Hera demanded.
"It would be quite a dangerous procedure without the proper testing, and we did not plan on attempting it until morning," the droid answered.
"Then get out of the damn way," Kanan said harshly, pushing the droid out of the way. He began detaching the machines from the tube, and when he was ready, he made eye contact with Ezra.
"Ezra, are you with me?" He asked, and saw the faintest sign of recognition in Ezra as he began to slow his breathing. "I need you to relax as much as possible."
Somehow, the command seemed to register in Ezra's mind, and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply.
"Now, on the count of three, I want you to take a deep breath out," Kanan told Ezra, preparing himself. "One... two..."
On three, Ezra attempted to breathe out, but it turned into a deep cough. Still, it worked. Kanan pulled out the tube, and Ezra started taking deep, raspy breaths.
"You did good, Ezra," Hera said as his eyes slid shut.
"It's okay, you can sleep now," Kanan said, knowing Ezra was still defensive.
Slowly, Ezra's walls came down, and he fell back asleep.
Ezra
Everything felt... fuzzy. Yeah, fuzzy. It felt like his entire body was either stuffed with cotton or just plain numb. He also felt more comfortable and drowsy than he had in his entire existence.
He would've just gone back to sleep if it weren't for that constant, nagging presence, calling him to consciousness. Deciding to investigate, he found that it was... Kanan? Why was Kanan trying to wake him up? Did he sleep in? If he did, he should probably get up.
Opening his eyes, he saw... the crew? What was the crew doing here? Better yet, where was he?
"What...?" He tried to ask.
"Hey, Ez," Sabine said.
It was starting to come back to him. Getting hurt and all.
"You're at a rebel medical base," Kanan informed him, answering his question before he even asked it.
"Kanan...?"
He was trying to ask if he was okay, but for some reason, he couldn't find his words.
"It's me, Ez. I'm here," he answered.
"N-no... okay?" He tried asking again, but still, he could barely talk.
"You're okay. You're going to be fine," he answered, only frustrating Ezra further.
"You're... you're... okay?" He finally managed.
Strangely, Kanan chuckled softly. It was a legitimate question! Why was he laughing?
"Ezra... you should worry about yourself," he answered.
Ezra thought for a moment. He guessed Kanan was fine, seeing as he wasn't in a hospital bed and Ezra was.
"He's okay," Hera answered him. "But you were hurt pretty badly. You've been here for a couple of days now."
Days?! It had been longer than he thought.
"Hm," was all he managed to say. "M'tired."
"You can rest, Ezra," Kanan said. "Although, the droid will probably wake you up to check on you in a bit."
"K'nan?" He slurred.
"Yeah?"
"Will you... stay?"
He chuckled quietly. "Of course I'll stay."
Kanan sat down next to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Ezra leaned into his touch as he slowly drifted off.
By the time he was fully awake, he was in significantly more pain than he had been. Now that they had taken him off of the sedatives, he could feel everything, and he was much more aware.
Kanan had been acting... weird. He hadn't left Ezra for a moment since he'd woken up, yet he'd hardly said a word and wouldn't make eye contact. Even when he did, he just had this guilt ridden look to him.
"Are you in any pain, Commander Bridger?" The droid asked, shaking him from his thoughts.
"Yep," he answered quickly and honestly. His chest was killing him.
"Ah, well. It is about time for your next dose of pain meds."
"You should probably get on that," Zeb said. "Kid's been in a fair amount of pain for a while now."
"You noticed?!" Ezra asked incredulously as the droid gave him a shot in the arm.
"No," he answered. "Kanan did, and he told me."
"Wait... how did you know?" He asked, turning his attention to Kanan.
"I could sense it. You can't hide things like this from me, Ezra."
"Damnit," Ezra muttered under his breath. He needed to get better at this.
"I apologize for the interruption, but I need to replace the bandages covering Commander Bridger's surgical incision."
Ezra rolled his eyes, but removed his blanket anyway. He watched as the droid unwound his bandages.
He was not ready for what he saw beneath them.
He inhaled sharply, and his eyes widened as the bandages were pulled away. It looked... awful. He had expected there to be bruising. He'd known that on impact. He just... didn't expect it to be this bad. His entire chest was swollen and nearly black from the sheer amount of blood beneath his skin. To make it worse, there was a long, stitched up slice that went from the top of his chest all the way to the middle of his abdomen.
"You okay, Ez?" Hera asked tentatively.
"Yeah, it just... it's a lot, I guess," he answered numbly.
"The bruising will disappear in a few weeks time, and while the incision will likely scar, it will not remain at the visibility it is now," the droid said, noticing Ezra's obvious discomfort.
"Thanks, um... droid."
"Of course," it said, beginning the cleaning process of Ezra's incision. He barely even felt it due to the meds.
"You can just call him B-1," Kanan said. Looking closer, Ezra saw the digits on the back of his head.
"If you guys don't mind, Sabine, Zeb, and I are going to go update Ahsoka on how Ezra's doing," Hera said after a pause.
"Okay. See you in a bit," Kanan answered.
When they left, Kanan turned back to him. Ezra was sure he was about to get an earful about 'being careful,' and 'not hiding his injuries,' etc. He braced himself for the lecture, putting his walls up.
"Ezra, now that you're awake, I just wanted to say..."
Here we go.
"I'm sorry."
It took Ezra so off guard that it took a few seconds to process what he even said.
"Huh?" He asked, thoroughly confused.
"I'm sorry," Kanan repeated. "I should've been faster, and I should've planned the mission out in a way that would keep you safe. It's my job to protect you, and I failed. For that, I am sorry."
Ezra just stared at him, completely bewildered.
"Kanan... you don't need to apologize for that. I was planning the mission too. If anything, it's my fault I'm hurt," Ezra said, trying to defend Kanan from himself. "Besides, it's not even a big deal! I got a little hurt, but I'm okay now!"
"A little," Kanan laughed under his breath. "Ez, you nearly died. The force bond snapped, and if I hadn't repaired it, you would be gone. Honestly, it's a miracle I was able to repair it at all."
Ezra looked down at his blanket, processing what Kanan had just said. He never realized it was that close.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"No," Kanan said firmly. "I'm the one who's sorry, remember?"
Ezra laughed and rolled his eyes. "How about we call it even?"
"Deal," Kanan agreed. "But only if you promise to never get hurt like this again. Got it?"
"Deal."