Chapter Text
Grian woke up cuddling next to Mumbo, it was the first time he had slept without interruption in months. He subconsciously moved closer to the guy, closing his eyes again, trying to drift back into sleep
Mumbo, on the other hand, had the audacity to begin speaking. “Are you awake?” he asked groggily, his voice almost a pitch lower than usual.
Grian did not want to respond, it was way too early for this. If being with Mumbo let him sleep without the nightmares dreams, then he wanted to sleep forever.
He knew they would eventually have to talk about yesterday. But really, it was just a fluke. Grian had been fine for so long, and now that it was out of his system he could just go back to being normal Grian.
“No,” Grian mumbled for a reply, realising it would alert Mumbo that he was in fact awake.
Mumbo sighed, “We do need to talk about what happened,” he said, making his way out of the bed, earning a whine from Grian.
He could pull from his Watcher magic and just erase the memories from Mumbo’s mind, Grian mused. But what if it wasn’t only Mumbo who knew? The plan could backfire quickly.
So he decided to go with his reasoning to himself from earlier, “Nothing happened, ‘bo. It was just an off day, I’m fine,” Grian said, sitting up in the bed he was in and looking around. Definitely not blushing when he realized he was at Mumbo’s house. God he really lost himself yesterday.
Mumbo, being his usual self, let out a dry laugh, “Yeah right,” he scoffed, “Grian. You tried to kill yourself.-”
Grian started to retaliate, “But-”
“-And when that didn’t work out you just settled on repeatedly doing so. That is not the definition of ‘fine,’” the redstoner ploughed on.
“Can we please talk about it later?” Grian asked. Mumbo’s face went a little red, as if surprised, but he dropped it anyway. After a beat Grian wondered if he had accidentally used his Watcher magic there. Oh well.
Oh shit.
Mumbo knows he’s a Watcher. Grian begins to panic, “Mumbo. You can not tell anyone I’m a Watcher,” he basically begged.
“Why not?” Mumbo asked, “ You know we all love you Grian. We know you’re struggling, we want to help you.”
Grian ran his hand through his hair, “Because they’d hate me!” he shrieked, “Oh god. If Pearl found out about this… or Xisuma..”
Mumbo walked over calmly, taking a seat next to Grian and throwing an arm around his shoulder, “No one here would ever hate you ‘cause of this,” he trailed off for a moment, “why Pearl and Xisuma specifically?”
“Before this,” Grian sighs, “Pearl and I were on a different server together. Evolution. I was the admin. The Watchers came and they started by helping us with small things, like updating the server and all that jazz. But eventually,” he took a breath, “they took my friend Taurtis, and later me. When I saw Taurtis, he was corrupted. It was like he just wasn’t himself anymore. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.
“He was the one who suggested taking me, saying I was a ‘valuable asset’ to the Watchers. They stripped me of everything, made me one of them. I got away as soon as I could and I ended up here. Then Pearl came back, and I still haven’t told her what happened. All I’ve said is that I got away quickly, and cut ties with the rest of them. She can’t know, she would hate me.
“Xisuma is a different story. When I first became a Watcher, no one prayed to me. That’s how a Watcher gains power, and the less prayers you have, the more human you appear. It’s what inflated Taurtis’ ego, leading to corrupt him. I got none, okay well, maybe one here or there. But that was always just in mentioning with the other Watchers. So I was pretty human.
“I think that was what let me go under the radar when I fled, it’s not like I could do anything. But after I left, that’s when I began getting prayers. I was erased from all books, and symbolised freedom to my worshippers. One of my most devout followers is a friend of ours, Xisuma.
“He started praying to me a month or two after I left. I once heard him use my name in vain, it was fucking weird,” he let out a dry laugh, “If Xisuma found out he has been worshipping me all along, he would hate me too.
“I think he spread the name to other hermits, because they have taken a habit of doing so as well. Everytime they do I feel so out of control,” Grian explains quietly. He hadn’t actually planned on telling Mumbo, it just all kind of slipped out.
After processing what he said, Grian jumped up quickly, as if to shake off the memories. He started scanning the room a little, failing to be subtle.
In the time he was up and moving, Mumbo noticed something. A little up from where Grian’s wings connected to his back, there was a slit. It ran about a third way down, looking severed and very humanmade. When Grian twisted a little, the separation between the top of his wing and where the rest connected to his back became more clear.
“Grian,” Mumbo said, very hesitantly, “what's on the back of your wings?”
Grian shrugged, “I had just had another bad day. Thought it would get better if the wings were gone. Just so you know, Watcher wings heal quickly,” he replied absently, still looking around the room, “where are my bandages from yesterday?”
“I left them at the mountain,” Mumbo told him, “no way you are putting those back on. We will find something different.”
“Of course we will. There's always a different option when it comes to you Mumbo,” Grian said, albeit sarcastically.
Mumbo didn’t say anything back, “If you have Watcher magic ‘cause of all the praying, can’t you just change your wing colour?”
Grian laughs, “I’m not sure it works like that.”
“Well try then, prove me wrong. Unless you’re scared you can’t do it,” Mumbo taunts, knowing exactly where to stroke his competitive side.
Grian glared, aware of what Mumbo was doing. Still, he closed his eyes and reimagined his wings with bright colours, like a parrot's wings. After doing so, Grian opened his eyes to be face to face with Mumbo’s adorable confused face.
“I told you it wouldn’t work,” Grian rolled his eyes, “don’t you think I would’ve thought of such a simple solution by now?” He said bitterly, flinching a little at his words afterwards.
He couldn’t afford to be mean to Mumbo right now, the guy was going out of his way to be nice to Grian. Plus, he knew too much. Grian could only imagine what would happen when Mumbo turned on him, he would spill all this information that he was gathering. Grian really needs to be less trusting.
“Sorry,” Grian mumbles, ducking his head a little. He had to make sure Mumbo didn’t want to tell anyone.
Mumbo raised an eyebrow, unsure, “Why- why would you be sorry, Grian? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
But he didn’t understand. Mumbo didn’t understand anything at all. Grian had done so much wrong. More than just the words he had said. He had placed his trust into his redstoner friend, and that was so wrong. In one conversation he let himself tear his walls down, and that was never good.
If he kept going, what would he tell Mumbo next? Would he tell him about the nightmares, or Sam the other server he was on?
What would Mumbo think of him if he had told him about the other server? Surely he would think Grian was a coward, backing down from a fight.
So, Grian did what he did best, he rebuilt the walls.
“You’re right, I didn’t do anything wrong. Silly me,” He laughed, cringing a little at how fake it sounded, “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got to get back to work.”
He darted to the door behind himself, squirming as Mumbo picked him up, effectively stopping Grian, “You are not going anywhere, pesky bird.”
Grian was getting irritated now, why did his friend have to be so damn persistent, “Let me go, Mumbo,” he put as much of his stupid magic into those stupid words. Almost gasping in relief as Mumbo let go, fleeing out the door as quickly as he could.
The door from Mumbo’s bedroom went out facing the back side of his weird megabase, which was amazing for Grian’s escape. No one should be able to see him.
He stretched his wings, wincing at the pain from lack of use, and flew off to the mountain to retrieve his bandages to bound said wings.
It wasn’t a long fly, thankfully, because using his extra appendages always was a shit reminder of who he really was. A liar.
He stumbled when he felt Xisuma pray to him, asking for his poor Grian to be in good health, righting himself almost instantly after.
He grabbed his bandages off the bed he had been setting his spawn in, wrapping up his wings once again.
Grian could always just resume his little game of jumping off the cliff, it certainly had been more enjoyable than whatever the hell Mumbo was trying to do. Comfort him? He didn’t need comfort.
He sighed in relief after the bandages were firmly binding his wings once more, ignoring the pain that it brought to his back. Grian looked around him for more, realising that someone could’ve seen him just do that. He sighed in relief when no one was around.
What now? He couldn’t bring himself to continue terraforming the mountain, plus it was too obvious if he did that. The other Hermits would know where he was instantly. Grian really didn’t want to be found.
He could always make a secret base. His friends fellow players probably wouldn’t locate that anytime soon. He hummed, content with his decision, and glided down towards his house. He was trying to get to said place as fast as possible to avoid being spotted.
As he got into his house Grian darted to the messed up storage system near his bedroom. He rummaged through the chests, trying to grab anything he would need for his hideaway.
After he did so Grian left and ran back to his alleyway. He kept looking around to make sure no one was watching, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was because they were always Watching, weren’t they?
He almost sighed in relief when he entered the mouth of the alley, stopping his quick pace and putting his hands on his knees.
Grian stayed like that for a while, trying desperately to catch his breath. He was attempting to dispel the growing panic rising in his chest as the situation he was in slowly began to sink in.
Mumbo knew.
Mumbo knew he was a Watcher, he knew about the prayers, he knew about the wings, he even knew part of Evolution. He could do anything with the information he had.
Mumbo was going to tell everybody on the server. They were going to laugh at him and make him feel like absolute shit. And then Xisuma was going to ban him.
Oh my god Xisuma was going to ban him.
Grian was gasping for air now, and he felt like tears were supposed to be coming out of his eyes right now but they just wouldn’t. Because of a stupid mistake he was going to be forced from his only home.
Where was he going to go? Hermitcraft was the only thing he had known since Them. He was going to have to refind and rebuild everything. He was going to have to find new people to bug and what if they didn’t like to be bugged? What if they didn’t like him ?
They would always take him back, he thought bitterly. They were waiting with open arms for him to come back, admit his mistakes and beg for forgiveness. Maybe he would have to return. After the ban, it would be easy to. They were right to say no one would accept him.
He should’ve hidden it better. There had to have been something he could do, anything. The option of wiping their past few interactions from Mumbo’s mind, but it might not just be Mumbo, he countered to himself. Other people might know, Mumbo could’ve told them already.
Who was he most likely to tell though? Right off the bat, probably the people of Boatem, so they could know how they had been living next to a monster for the past couple of months. Definitely Xisuma, he was the admin, of course Mumbo would go running to him.
They would probably discuss it as a collective, try to talk about their next form of action before telling the others. They would sit in a nice circle and laugh and joke before Mumbo brought it up, and Xisuma would go around and try to comfort all the Hermits because that’s just the type of admin he was.
He had loved them so much. He lied to them. He lied to all of his friends. He should’ve just come clean, let them yell and kick him out, become a distant memory, but yet he didn’t. He thought he could find family in these people.
Grian felt his knees buckle and he dropped to the ground, trying to regain control of his own body. Tears were steadily streaming out of his eyes, and his throat hurt from the sobs coming from him.
He had to get out of view from his friends. He would decide what to do next after he hid. Where wouldn’t they look?
Forcing himself up again, determination bubbling in his stomach, Grian began to hobble toward the bank of his alley, located in the very back. He didn’t bother looking at the buildings as he passed, it would probably make him feel terrible. He had been trying so hard to get out of his comfort zone this season, and it was all just going to be ripped away from him.
He stood in front of the bank, trying to figure out the best course of action from here. He could either dig out something under the alley or he could live inside the closed up bank.
Digging an underground thing sounded like way too much work, and even though Grian had just slept he was exhausted. So he grabbed his pickaxe, breaking the quartz of the bank and stepping inside.
He quickly replaced the blocks, then placed torches all around the area. Grian looked into his inventory, gauging how to use the materials he took.
It wasn’t much, but he had brought a crafting table and some golden carrots, so it was enough.
He began placing the items he brought, the crafting table, a furnace, an anvil, a double chest, a be- fuck. He forgot a bed.
But it was too late to go out and retrieve it now, wasn’t it? He would definitely get caught, and they would drag him back to his house and demand he explained. And then they would yell at him and send him away and he just couldn’t breath and he was crying again.
Why the hell was he so emotional? The Watchers would hate him for showing emotion. Same with Sam him.
Sam would be different, he would kick Grian and remind him how worthless he was. And Grian never realised how true that statement was until now.
He fell to the floor, all the sudden too exhausted to stand. Grian still had to think though. Mumbo knew, and he is going to tell everyone any moment now, unless they already knew. But he had to stay semi-positive, didn’t he?
Maybe he could switch Mumbo’s memory a little, Grian mused. He could keep the whole suicide thing, because it wasn’t as serious as everyone made it out to be. - Really, just a bad day was what if was. He was sure he could convince the others of that. - And then he could erase the Watcher stuff, and the evo stuff, and their conversation this morning.
It was the best he could do, wasn’t it?
It was this or being kicked out of the server, and Grian can’t bear to lose all he has worked so hard for.
He sighed, does he even have enough magic lying around to do so? It was only Xisuma that had prayed to him since he had forced Mumbo to let him go, and Grian had no idea how much power that took.
He hated using his Watcher magic so much. All he wanted to be was human, and he had to screw up such a simple task.
Grian closed his eyes, trying to reach into Mumbo’s thoughts. It was extremely uncomfortable, he hadn’t done it in a while. And Grian had never been good at it in the first place. But this was a case of life or death, so he had to at least try.
After feeling connected enough to Mumbo, Grian started to work. Ignoring everything else so as to not intrude on his best friend’s thoughts, he went to Mumbo’s interaction with himself from last night. Slowly, he changed Mumbo’s memory of the situation, cutting out the bit with his wings entirely. He was sure it was sloppy, but Grian didn’t care, he was in a time crunch.
Then, he moved to this morning, changing the conversation completely. He removed evo, and the wings, and the stuff about being one of Them. And again it was incredibly sloppy, but Mumbo wouldn’t be able to remember what actually happened, so it was fine.
Grian’s head was hit with waves of pain as he had begun to let go of Mumbo’s consciousness, trying to ignore the fact that he disobeyed the rules he had set for himself years ago in attempts to distance himself from Them.
He sighed as he felt Mumbo’s conscious leave completely, glad that it was over. He slumped over, exhausted with what he had just done. Soon after Grian felt his own mind slipping away from him, beginning to lull him into sleep.
Hopefully he got to Mumbo before Mumbo could get to them.