Chapter Text
Shane was spending time with Carl listening to him complaining as he drew patterns into the dirt, “Mom said that I need another haircut and it just so happens that we were just talking about him the other day. Wonder who gave her the idea” he looked at Shane accusatory.
Shane put his hands up in surrender “I have the right to remain silent”
Glenn approached them standing over the two awkwardly, “Hey Shane could I have a word?”
Nodding he stood to lead Glenn away to gain some privacy from prying young ears, “What’s up?”
“I think we should go on another run but into Atlanta this time” Shane opened his mouth to disagree, “Hey before you say anything let me finish”
“Alright, but this is a bad idea regardless”
“While we have enough food to last us for a while what we need is supplies like medicines, weapons, ammunition. A lot of stuff you can’t just get from houses or neighborhoods.” Glenn was fumbling over his words trying to sound convincing, “I know it sounds dangerous but it’s worth it and I know like every shortcut in that city and I can help people around we have radios to keep in contact while we’re out there”
He frowned, “Do you even know where you would be going if you went, do you have a map?”
At that Glenn’s eyes lit up as he pulled a half folded half crumpled map from his back pocket, “actually Dale had this in his RV and I was thinking the first run we could go and just scout the area and kinda gage what places are salvageable and where it isn’t” Glenn rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Shanes expression.
“Alright”
“Alright?!” The younger man grinned, “So yes then?”
“Yes but I want there to be a backup plan. We really can’t have anything go wrong,” Shane pierced his lip, “who is going with you?”
“Um I know T Dog and Morales already agreed but I was also playing on asking some of the ladies like Amy and Andrea. Oh and Will agreed to go last night”
“Will, he agreed?”
“Yeah surprised me too he jumped on it but I think that was to impress the woman or something gross like that”
“Hey Shane” Carl said as he came up behind the older man.
“What’s up?”
“He hasn't left his tent” Carl pointed at the tent that belonged to the Dixons, “It’s nearly lunch”
“I saw Will getting ready for a hunt I’m sure he went with him” If Shane was being
completely honest he didn’t believe in that as much as he sounded.
Just like he didn’t believe in the story Will had told them last night as to why Daryl didn’t join them. The black eye confirmed the suspicion that Will had been hitting Daryl. Shane felt so helpless he couldn’t do much but watch as the signs of abuse flashed in his face over and over and that’s why he was so grateful to hear Will had agreed to go on the run.
When the day finally came for the run the group gathered around the van they decided to go on and Joaquin and Andrea had both volunteered to go on the run which made five.
“We’ll be careful” Glenn said before bringing the older man in for a hug.
“You better be”
Shane watched as Morales kissed his kids and wife while Andrea hugged Amy in a tight embrace as the younger one cried. His gaze moved over to the youngest Dixon who was playing with Carl, The two had become quite close which means that Daryl was subconsciously spending time with Shane.
Will kissed Daryl’s head and said something he couldn’t hear and the boy nodded before they took off heading down the dirt road into the city that had used to be vibrant and colorful but after they filled the streets with napalm it became dangerous.
They had gotten a call from the radio from T dog, It had been spotty but they all understood the message, the group was trapped on a roof in the middle of Atlanta surrounded by walkers. All they could do now was wait and see if they make it back.
Lori came up behind Shane putting a comforting hand on his back, “I need to cut Carl's hair, Come sit”
The three sat with Carl in front of his mom and Shane across the campfire. Carl was squirming under his mom's grasp as she cut his hair.
“Baby, the more you fidget the longer it takes,” She says as she combs his hair.
“I’m trying”
“We’ll try harder”
Shane looked up from cleaning his gun smiling at the two, “If you think this is bad wait till you start shaving, that stinks.” he laughed, “That day comes you’ll be wishing for one of your Mamas haircuts”
Carl rolls his eyes “I’ll believe the when I see it” causing Shane to laugh again.
“I’ll tell you what” Shane sets down his gun and leans back to force his attention to the two, “You just get through this with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I’ll teach you something special” He leans into the suspense, “I’ll teach you to catch frogs”
“I’ve caught a frog before, Daryl showed me down by the quarry”
“Yeah? Guess he’s taking my job huh We ought to see if he would want to join in as well but what I mean is frogs plural. It is an art, my friend. It is not to be taken lightly” Shane continued to clean his gun, “There are ways and means few people know about it I’m willing to share my secrets”
Carl looked back at his mom which made Lori turn him towards Shane, “Oh, I’m a girl You talk to him”
“It’s a one-time offer, bud. I’ll ask the same if Daryl, not to be repeated”
“Why do we need frogs, plural?”
Shane smirked, “You ever eat frog legs?”
Carl grimaced,” Eww!”
“No yum!” Shane cut him off laughing at Loris's agreement with Carl, “We get down to that last can of beans, You gonna be loving those frog legs lady”
Shane mimicked Lori asking for the food She just grimaced at putting in a voice making Carl laugh.
“We’ll be heroes and feed these folks Cajun-style Kermit legs”
“Like Daryl does with the squirrels?”
“Just like that”
Sirens could be heard through the hills which caused Shane to run up to the trailer that Dale was standing on.
“Talk to me Dale” He called up.
“I can’t tell yet” The older man responded. “I’ll be damned”
Shane stood there as a red sports car pulled up the dirt road approaching the hood yelling at Glenn to pop the hood of the car to get to the mechanics. Amy was interrogating the kid while Shane tried to find the wire to turn off the damn car.
Just as the alarm stopped Shane could make out the end of the conversation with the young blond asking, “Why isn’t she with you? Is she okay?”
“ Yes!” He said frustrated by the commotion, “Yeah, fine. Everybody is”
Shane let a breath go that he didn’t even realize he was holding before stilling at Glenn’s corrections.
“Well, Will not so much”
Overwhelmed Shane scolded Glenn for driving the ‘wheeling bastard’ up to camp potentially attracting walkers from all over. Dale reassures,” the eco was going all over these hills it’s hard to pinpoint the source”
Shane turned to the man showing annoyance on his face as he threw up his hands, Dale got the hint that he was trying to teach Glenn.
“But it wouldn’t hurt you to think things through a little more carefully next time, would it?” He corrected
The truck's engine was the first thing people heard as it rolled up the same dirt path the sports car did. Morales was the first to leave but Andrea and Amy reunited before anyone else could call out to each other. Shane turned to watch Lori drop to one knee in front of Carl.
Glenn and Morales were talking about someone they had picked up from Atlanta and the slam of the trucks door pulled his attention there. There stood his best friend his breath caught in his through. Carl screams as he and Lori run towards Rick who pulls them both into a tight hug.
Shane looks at Glenn who is watching the interaction before him, “Glenn” he calls the boy over, “what happened to Will”
Glenn glanced at Shane focus pointed towards the three who were hugging, “He- It's a long story I’ll tell you later”
Glenn nodded at the three causing Shane to look over to Rick who was smiling at him and relief washed over his heart as guilt settled into his stomach. He had truly thought Rick was dead when he left him at the hospital and when he had to tell Lori.
‘Later’ eventually came as they sat around the fire in the black of night. Glenn had explained a short version of it to him directly after everything but with the chaos of Ricks's return, a lot of the details were lost on him.
“Disoriented, I guess that’s what comes the closest.” That was what Rick chose to describe everything, “Disoriented, fear, confusion. All those things but Disoriented comes the closest”
“Words can be meager things” Dale ads through the thunder that rumbled above, “Sometimes they fall short”
“I felt like I’d been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else” Rick continued, “For a while, I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever”
“Mom said you died” A quiet voice whispered, Carl looked up to his dad, who he was laying on as Lori gently stroked his hair.
“She had every reason to believe that. Don’t you ever doubt it”
Lori looked up to Shane before her eyes trailed back to Carl, “When things started to get really bad, They told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta, and it never happened”
“ We’ll I’m not surprised after Atlanta fell” she nods along to Ricks's words, “and from the look of that hospital it got overrun”
Shane smiled still unable to grasp the situation, “Yeh looks don’t deceive I barely got them out, you know?”
Rick looked up at Shane making eye contact before saying, “I can’t tell you how great I am to you, Shane. I can’t begin to express it”
This makes Shane feel the guilt that layer heavy in his stomach again unable to shake the feeling. He could feel Loris glares and eyes on him, he knows she was pissed because Shane had been the one who told her that Rick was dead.
“There go words falling short again,” Dale smiled looking at Rick and then at the two sisters, “paltry things”
The sound of wood being thrown onto the fire brought everyone’s attention to the campfire that was adjacent to them where Ed, Carol, and their daughter were sitting around.
“Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?” Shane shouted over to the smaller group
“It’s cold man”
“The cold doesn’t change the rules, does it?” Shane rubbed his temple, agitated, “Keep our fires low, just embers. So we can’t be seen from a distance, Right?”
“I said it’s cold” Ed grumbled back, “You should mind your own business for once”
Shane let his anger flare as he stood up and walked over to Ed harshly greeting him, “Hey Ed, are you sure you want to have this conversation, man?”
The two stared at each other for a moment before Ed gave in, “Go on, pull the damn thing out” flinging his hand at his wife, “Go on!”
Carol rushed from her spot by the command of Ed to remove the log making Shane’s even more pissed at the asshole.
He stomped out the log and turned to the two ladies, “Hey Carol, Sophia, How are y’all this evening?”
“Fine” Carol responded with what sounded like a strained voice, “We’re just fine” Her voice softened, “Sorry about the fire”
“No apology needed” He reassured, “Y’all have a good night, ok?”
“Thank you”
Shane stood up and as he passed Ed his voice dropping all the softness he said, “I appreciate the cooperation”
Through Ed’s glares and Loris' glances, Shane returned to where he was a minute ago, across the fire from the Grimes.
“Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?” Dale says after a beat of silence, “He won’t be happy when he hears his Dad has left behind”
“I’ll tell him” T Dog offered, “I dropped the key, it’s on me”
“I cuffed him that makes it on me” Rick argued.
Shane felt sick to his stomach at the realization that someone is going to have to tell the boy his dad was dead, while Shane disliked Will because there was everything in the dictionary to describe how shitty of a person he was but Daryl never spoke poorly of the man intact he seemed to like him.
“Guys it’s not a competition” Glenn mediated, “I don’t mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy” he gestured to Rick who nodded with the kid.
Furry struck Shane where he didn’t even know and before he could close his mouth he said, “He’s just a kid, If he doesn’t like us it’s not cause of the color of our skin” he finished his mouth hung open surprised at how he came to defense for the kid. His gaze shifted to the people around him and everyone had the same expression except Rick.
His mouth hung agape looking at Shane with sorrowful eyes, “He’s a kid? Is his mom.. still”
“Not as far as we know” Dale answered.
He felt disgusted with himself and by Ricks's face, he was as well. The two had been best friends since childhood so they could be and echo their well and right now Shane knew that Rick was completely shocked.
“I did what I did” T dogs voice shakes, “Hell, if I’m gonna hide from it”
“We could lie” Amy suggested
“Or we could tell the truth” The older blonde continues, “ Will was out of control, something had to be done or he’d have gotten us killed”
Shane knew the dislike Andrea had for the Dixons was bigger than her sisters but he didn’t realize the distaste she had for them until now
“Your husband did what was necessary” Andrea now turned towards Lori, “and if Will got left behind, it is nobody’s fault but Wills's fault”
Shane’s fur built inside him but before he could say anything he seemed to beat him to it, “And that’s what we tell Daryl? I don’t see a rational discussion to be had from that do you?” The older man shook his head, “Word to the wise, we’re gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt”
“He's out hunting?!” Shane’s mouth fell open nearly containing the concern that laced his words. “It’s pitch black out he’s too young to go out like this”
“Like he’d listen to any of us if we tried to stop him” Andrea laughed, “Doesn't talk to anyone”
Shane was about to get up to give the other a piece of his mind before he forced himself back down letting out an annoyed huff. He shot a glare at Andrea for good measure as he twiddled with his thumbs letting anxiety wash over him.
“I was scared and I ran” T Dog broke the silence, “I’m not ashamed of it”
“We were all scared. We all ran” the older blonde chimed in again, “What’s your point?”
“I stopped long enough to chain that door. The staircase is narrow, maybe half a dose of geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It’s not enough to break through that, not that chain, not that padlock” A guilty look morphed across T dog's face, “My point— Dixons alive. And he’s still up there, handcuffed on the roof. That’s on us.”
He finished ducking his head in only what Shane could assume was guilt or shame, probably both. A similar feeling was building inside his chest as well. The camp fell silent only listening to the crackles of the embers. At some point, people started to get up and go to their tents.
Shane was due for the watch so as he sat on top of the RV his eyes brought him to the tent by the woods that seemed to be vacant, no sign anyone was there so he dragged his eyes to the tent that was now Rick and Lori’s.
The light was still on which put a smile on Shane’s face as he buried his face into his own pillow groaning about the day to come. He dreaded the conversation that he needed to have with the youngest Dixon, the thing is Shane couldn’t predict how the kid would react.
It started to thunder followed by droplets of rain, “shit” he bit his thumb looking back to the tree line. He worried more about the boy than he cared to admit, it was like some source of internal urge made him instinctively look out for him.
The kid didn’t want anything to do with whatever instincts Shane had, he nearly talked to Carl when he asked to play let alone when Shane was around. Daryl at least talked to him somewhat but like Andrea or Ed he’d just shot a glare, he couldn’t blame the kid though.
It was probably around three o’clock when Jim relieved him of his watch-out duty and he probably fell asleep in his tent.
—-
Shane was abruptly woken up as he rolled off his cot landing on the ground, hard.
“Fffk” he groaned as he rubbed his shoulder to relieve the soreness, “Son of a “
He was one of the first awake waving to Jim who was still perched on top of the RV. People were just coming out of their tents getting ready for the day.
Deciding on getting some water from the quarry Shane grabbed his shoes pulling them on snatching his keys to his Jeep as he took off.
The trip wasn’t hard just filled a few containers and took at most an hour, As he drove up the familiar dirt road he saw people taking Glenn’s previous sports car apart. More people seemed to be up.
“Waters here y’all” he parked his Jeep hopping out, “just a reminder to boil before use”
Amy and Glenn started to grab at the containers he had filled not even an hour prior. He glanced back to Rick and Lori who seemed to be in a serious conversation from the looks of Loris's face.
A heart-wrenching scream from the woods made Shane sprint, he could hear Carl who was calling for Lori. His heart pumped adrenaline through his veins as he caught up to Rick. Carl ran to Lori and Shane was able to run in front of Rick to the source of the mess.
A Geek was chewing on a deer's neck as the five men surrounding Rick knicks it down. They beat on it before Dale gave the final blow with an ax to the neck.
“It’s the first one we’ve had up here” Dale out of breath exclaimed, “They never come this far up the mountain”
“Well, they're running out of food in the city,” Jim answers the older man, “that’s what”
Tree branches snapping brought the men's attention back to the woods as Shane raised his gun to the tussling trees.
No other than Daryl Dixon jumps down holding his too big bow in his hand. He stops wide-eyed staring at the men.
“Oh, Jesus,” Shane sighs, lowering his gun and letting the tension fall.
The kid's eyes fall onto the dead deer. Daryl huffed in annoyance and Shane could swear he heard cursing under his breath. He shuddered at the look on the kid's face, a look of anger.
But he never showed it; he just glared at the adults around him, “Been tracking this deer for miles,” Daryl says as he pulls out the arrows from the deer.
“M’ dad could’ve cooked us some venison, what do you think?” He turned towards Shane and gestured to the neck of the deer, “Do you think we can cut around this chewed-up part, right here?”
“I would not risk that” Eating infected meat was not a chance that Shane was about to make didn’t hurt less when the kid let a dejected expression that Daryl let slip from his mask.
“That’s a damn shame” he mumbled out, “I got some squirrel, probably a dozen or so. That’ll have to do”
Daryl fumbled with his crossbow pulling it on his shoulder which made Shane smile because it just looked so big to be on a kid.
The geeks head moved causing Amy to gasp and hold onto Andrea who was quietly watching the scene unfold with her.
“Come on people, what the hell” Daryl loads his bow and shoots a perfect shot into the right eye of the geek, “It’s gotta be the brain”
Despite being around the same age as Carl this was a harsh reminder that Daryl was more than that. Daryl eyed Rick as he walked up the path they had just come barely sparing a glance for Shane.
He knew it was time and the look on Ricks's face confirmed that fact, he ran up behind the kid, god he was fast.
“Daryl” Shane called out for him, “just slow up a bit, I need to talk to you.”
“Bout what?” he asked as he stopped and turned.
“About your dad, There was a -” Shane couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes,” There was a problem in Atlanta”
Shane watched as the camp members surrounded them, too curious to mind their own business. He could just see on the kid's face, that he was uncomfortable.
“He dead?” Daryl’s neutral face was back on but it was a lie.
“We’re not sure”
“He either is or he ain’t”
There it was, the mask was slipping and it was slipping fast.
“No easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it” Rick approached them. Shane felt a small amount of relief about not dealing with him on his own.
Daryl just glared daggers into his best friend, “Who are you?”
“Rick Grimes”
Shane watched as the kid opened his mouth to talk back but nothing came out, he closed it again deciding to just keep glaring at Rick.
“Your Father was a danger to us all,” the cop decided to continue, “So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal, and he’s still there.”
That was the moment he knew Rick was not the one who should have handled it, the emotionless blunt answer was not the best way to tell a kid that their dad is rotting on a roof in Georgia heat.
Daryl turned away while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. The kid mumbled something, nothing anyone could make out. The look in his eyes made Shane run and he was able to push Daryl to the ground before he tried to tackle Rick.
He watched as Daryl rolled away from him grabbing his knife with practiced ease that chilled Shane to the core.
“Watch the Knife” T Dog yelled somewhere behind him.
He swipes at Rick which gives his friend the advantage as he grabs the boy's wrist forcing the knife out of his hand. Shane grabbed onto the shoulders of the boy as he put him in a chokehold.
“Okay, okay” Shane eased them both to the ground as well as he could with a flailing kid. He will give it to Daryl, despite being small he sure as hell is strong.
“You’d best let me go!” Daryl gasped.
“Nah, I think it’s better if I don’t”
“Chokeholds illegal”
They were on the ground now Daryl was gasping for air, Shane didn’t think he had him in a hold that tight but he didn’t want to have to do this all over again.
“Calm down, take a breath” Shane mumbled which didn’t seem to help the wheezing breath.
Rick got into Daryl’s face, “I’d like to have a calm discussion on this topic, do you think we can manage that?”
Whatever Rick was doing wasn’t working as he could feel his arch his back trying to dislodge his head from Shane’s grasp while his breaths were sharp intakes nearing hyperventilating.
“Do you think we can manage that?” Rick asked again getting closer to Daryl. Shane recognized this tactic from the field and it twisted in his gut about the fact they were doing it on someone Carls's age.
Rick looked up to meet his eyes silently asking to let him out of the hold but he shook his head because if he let go there was a likely possibility that he’d just sprint.
“What I did was not on a whim” Rick kept ducking to try to catch the eyes of the boy, “Your Father does not work and play well with others.”
“It’s not Ricks's fault” T Dog stepped forward, “I had the key, I dropped it. It fell down the drain.”
This caused Daryl’s breathing to begin to go faster as he started to hit Shane’s arm that was around his neck. He wasn’t even holding him that tight
“Let him go Shane” Rick ordered
Shane let the grasp fall as Daryl scrambled away only making it a few feet before his breath was reduced to a few gasps. He was looking around at the people around him with frightened eyes clawing at his neck trying to breathe.
“What's wrong with him?” He heard someone say, unsure who it was.
It took Shane longer than he’d like to admit but eventually, he figured it out, “shit”
“What?” Rick looked up at him, helpless not knowing what to do.
“Think it’s a panic attack or something like that”
Shane grunted as he got up and made his way to the shaking boy. If he was wrong about it being a panic attack then he’d probably get a punch across his face but he needed to get Daryl away from the eyes of everyone.
He bent down and took the boy into his grasp to pick him up. Something Shane didn’t expect to happen, the kid took fist fulls of his shirt as he held on hiding his face on his shoulder.
And that was when Shane knew he was wrong, Daryl wasn’t any older than Carl. He was just as scared and was now dealing with the idea that he was alone in the world.
Shane carried him out of view to behind the RV sitting on an old loveseat that was dragged there facing the quarry. Daryl’s legs were draped across himself and the couch with his face still hidden and his fists still full of the green police shirt Shane wore.
“Hey” Shane hesitated before he put his hand on the kid's hair running his hand through the dirty mess, “take a breath, kid”
He demonstrated a deep inhale and then an exhale a few times before Daryl actually started to mimic him.
Shane felt the kid tense in his grasp letting his hands uncoil around the older man’s shirt, “You with me now”
Daryl pulled himself off Shane as he pushed himself into the opposite side of the couch looking at Shane through tired eyes. He didn’t glare though, which he took as a win.
“The roof was chained shut” he broke the silence, “there’s no way the geeks can get to him”
“Don’t mean the sun ain’t”
“What?”
Daryl rolled his eyes, “It doesn’t mean the sun ain’t gonna get ‘im first” he stood up wiping his face with his hand again, “Just tell me where he is so I can go get ‘im”