Chapter Text
“This is Nadja Chamack, reporting live from the Agreste Mansion where Gabriel Agreste has been arrested by national security! As it turns out he has been Hawkmoth the entire time! How he stayed under the radar for so long is anyone’s guess! On an unrelated note, Emilie Agreste, who went missing last Christmas, returned and is now taking care of Adrien Agreste.“
Elise turned off the phone. Why did Gabriel Agreste have such a gigantic forehead in the news?After this white flash, she, Marinette, Adrien and Su-Han were in Fu’s mansion. Marinette and Adrien gave Su-Han their miraculouses. They looked like usual… except that Adrien seemed to have discover his dark edgy teenager side. What was up with the black eyeliner?
The ninja stayed in the background with her arms crossed. After the two former heroes of Paris left, Su-Han turned to her and opened the miracle box:
“Elise Pearson, you have shown to be worthy to be the wearer of the pig miraculous. It can give you the power to-“
“Let me stop you right there!“ she responded, walked towards him and poked him with her right index finger.
“Let any of these things get close to Dan ever again and“ she stopped for emphasis:
“you’re dead. Are we clear?“
With widened eyes and a gulp, Su-Han responded:
“Crystal.“
“Now excuse me, I’ll have my vacation with my husband in Paris before I go back.“
With that said, Elise was gone.
“Great segway. Fu!“ Su-Han turned to his failure of a student:
“I have too much to do to punish you properly. I will leavy you in peace.“
“Thank you, Grand Master Su-Han.“ the former master responded.
“Our accountants and historians have had your name legally changed though. I think it’s punishment enough. Farewell.“
Su-Han took the box and left Wang Fu behind. Fu would have probably gone with his former master and accepted any punishment at the monastery if he had known what accounting had done. He would learn it months later when the relevant immigration authority asked him if his real name actually was ‚Wat A Fu King Fai Lur‘. What ensued was a years-long legal battle that would leave him drained.
----------------------
Dan proudly held his space monkey’s gun from outer space in his hands. Not only did it look as good as new, it had become unbreakable. As if that wasn’t enough, Space Monkeys from Outer Space would get a sequel, a remake and a video game AND a crossover with Population Control Johnny. The Future for Dan’s favorite franchises was looking bright. Maybe a little too bright. Chris was enjoying the festivities, too, but he didn’t get to talk with Dan much until they were alone in the Shangri La. He had to walk up to the helicopter pad to catch his friend who had packed all of their luggage:
“Dan! You still need to tell me what exactly happened!“
Dan stood there in his usual attire:
“This ladybug broke my gun and I had to do some time travel shennanigans to get it back.“
“Actually, it’s our gun and you reshaped“
“Don’t bring up technicalities, Chris! Let’s go before it is too late.“
“Too late? What do you…“ the helicopter landed just as Elise caught up with them.
“Dan!“
“Yes, Elise?“
After she took in how majestic this helicopter looked, she continued:
“You wished for the gun to be whole again…“
“Yeah.“
“And apparently this nice private helicopter.“
“Oh, that? No, that belongs to Hortense. She’s waiting with Dennis for me, you see.“
What had he done? And why couldn’t she and Chris remember this? Oh right, Dan’s wish.
“Give them my best regards. Let’s go, Chris.“
Elise was about to grab her husband and go when Dan raised his voice yet calmly told them:
“I suggest you go with me.“
“Why should we? I earned this vacation and“ Elise started but Chris realized it:
“Oh no… so you did get revenge on Paris. But how? Everything seems so to be the same.“
Dan smiled from ear to ear:
“Wait and see, my friends.“
Elise got out her phone when it started vibrating:
“I only allowed for it to ring during emergencies….“ she turned on the latest news video:
“NADJA CHAMACK here! After Paris realized Mayor Bustier’s plans of a city without cars, the rest of France has separated itself from us! Even with the reinstated Mayor Bourgeois who signed the new Act to reduce bureaucracy, the paperwork Parisians have to do, quadrupled! The entire city is rioting and asking for Bustier’s and Bourgeois’ head! As we speak, they are preparing a guilloutine under the Eiffel Tower!“
Elise swiped right:
“This is Alya from the Foodblog! The prices for frogs’ legs, snails, gourmet meals, goose livers, red wine, onions and cheese delivered from France to Paris have skyrocketed! The prices for wheed bankrupted bakeries! So I suggest the vegetarian lifestyle that can“
Another swipe:
“Chloé Bourgeois here! So what if the prices for wheed has gone up and people no longer can eat bread? Shall they eat cake instead! This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!“
Another swipe and she saw this TV host with blond wig:
“Many citizens of Paris who have been named Kevin and Emily have decided to go to the Minister of Justice and have their names legally changed. It is...“
Another swipe back to Nadja Chamack:
“In a historic first Germany and the now from France separated Paris have declared war because it has turned out that the anomosities between the two cultures are actually just coming from Paris! History is about to repeat itself as German troops march through Verdun and are helped by the rest of France. Meanwhile Italy has“
Elise pocketed her phone. Then she grabbed Chris and together the boarded the helicopter with Dan. Soon they arrived at the airport and took the private plane to get back to California. When the burning and rioting Paris was behind them, Chris spoke up:
“I think you have really overdone it this time.“
“Please, Chris. As Napoleon himself has said it: There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. Now excuse me, Hortense and Dennis are waiting for me.“
That and a new luxurious mansion where he would have the time of his life!
-------------------------------
ONE WEEK LATER
The limousine parked right underneath Dan’s apartment. Two muscular men in tuxedos picked him up and threw him out. The window of the car opened and revealed Hortense in a business suit:
“So just you know: We’re divorced and I’m taking Dennis with me.“
While the limousine left with a screeching sound of its wheels, Dan raised his fists up in the air:
“FAAAAAMIIIILYYY!“
The End.