Chapter Text
It’s a rainy day in Konoha. It looks like the sky is falling down and the wind is announcing the approach of a thunderstorm.
For the kids sitting in the plastic chairs outside the Hokage’s office, the storm looks a lot closer…
“What do you think they are talking about?” Boruto whispers.
“Probably, where they’ll bury our bodies…” Inojin answers. “I’m so dead…”
“Hey, don’t say things like that!! They won’t kill us! I think…” The other blonde glances to his best friend. “Right, Shikadai?”
“How the hell I’m supposed to know? I’m in here with you, right?? Just shut up for a minute!!”
“If you are here, it’s because you make that decision.” Shikamaru’s voice hovers over them. “And I have to give to you… What a decision…”
Shikadai looks at his father and swallows. Hard. There is something dark and cold in his eyes. Usually, Shikamaru’s eyes are a deep brown, which Temari keeps comparing to hot chocolate: intense, sweet, warm, fulfilling. But right now, they look as cold and dark as burnt coal…
The kid realizes in how much trouble they are.
He’s used to his mother’s standards and demands. They are engraved in his brain: how to look, how much he’s supposed to train and study, how little time he should waste with videogames, what are his chores, how he should talk to his elders and superiors, how he has to behave.
He knows all that and knows exactly what she’ll do if he breaks the rules: how much time without going out, how much time training with her, how much time without videogames, how many more chores he’ll have to do, the lectures, everything…
His father is a lot more lenient on him. He doesn’t really care if he goes out looking a bit dishevelled, if he takes a nap instead of doing homework, if he spends the night gaming, if he forgets to clean his room or if he doesn’t acknowledge a title or back talks a little.
But he’s very hard to read. Very hard to predict. And deep down, Shikadai knows that this time, he’s truly mad with him.
“Come. Let’s go home.” Shikamaru’s voice is calm and levelled as always. He shoves his hands on his pockets and walks straight down the hall. His message was clear and he doesn’t expect any type of disobedience.
Shikadai hesitates for a moment. He shares a look with his friends and he sees the surprise on their eyes. No one is used to this. Shikamaru is always nice, kind, even affectionate towards him. If he’s supposed to go with his dad somewhere, usually the man ruffles his hair or puts a hand on his shoulder. He used to always carry him around or hold his little hand. Always a smile on his face. Not this cold demeanour.
“I said come, Shikadai”. He prompts again over his shoulder and the kid hurries to keep up with him.
They walk side by side in complete silence. A heavy silence. The kind where he can hear the rain drops falling on their clothes.
Shikadai’s keeps his eyes on the floor and his fisted hands on his pockets. He tries to come closer to his dad, any sort of closeness would be nicer than this. Even a lecture, angry words, some kind of punishment. He just takes a half step to his right, just a brush of their arms. But Shikamaru steps away without a word.
A chill runs down his spine and he blinks away the tears that threaten to fall. His dad never had refused him comfort. The tightness on his chest is almost unbearable and he feels so small…
“Dad…?” His voice wavers and he swallows the lump on his throat.
“When we get home.” It’s the only answer.
Shikamaru’s heart aches. It takes everything he has on him to act like this. He can be cold as ice in almost every situation. But never with his wife and kid. The world is hard and cold as it is, they deserve a warm place to fall in the end of the day. He is that place.
But today, Shikadai screw up. He screw up badly. They went missing from their mission, no one knew where they were, they didn’t answer their phones, didn’t report on time, their tracking devices were off.
Worse than all of this was the fact that they decided to infiltrate a rogue’s lair on their own. Without calling for backup, without telling their supervisors, without caring for their own safety.
Luckily, ANBU already had that lair on their radar and they spotted the kids before the delinquents and caught them on time.
Their surveillance mission was almost busted, but all of them were alive and well and the rogues never knew about all the commotion outside their home.
Still, this was one of the stupidest ideas he’s ever saw in his life… And he spent half of that life with Naruto…
He already called Temari. And the talk was… How to put it? Awful. She was screaming bloody murder and threatening all kinds of punishments. She really should sell some ideas to the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force because she is scarier than them…
But this time, this was his job to do. He keeps playing the “good cop” on this parenting thing. It’s hard to be the bad cop when he’s away for so long and Temari really wants them to have a nice relationship.
Shikadai is a daddy’s boy through and through, since the first day, so she did everything in her power to keep them that way. She’s the one to boss him around, punish him and demanding things. Shikamaru is the easy going, nice dad, who indulges his kid and tolerates most of his shenanigans.
And that’s why this is so hard. This time he is fuming. He is disappointed. He is livid. He is disappointed. This time, it’s his job to tell his kid off. And right now, it takes all he has to not blow up and start screaming his head off.
As soon as he steps foot in his home, he expects his mother to start screaming. He looks around, while taking his sandals off.
“She’s not home.” Shikamaru’s keeps his voice low. “Wash up and eat, if you want. Go see me in my office when you’re done.”
Shikadai gulps. He doesn’t know what to do or what to think, so he just obeys. He takes a shower and changes his clothes. He enters the kitchen, but his stomach backflips at the thought of food.
The kid shakes his head to keep his wet hair out of his face and to shake way his thoughts. He just turns around and slowly walks to his father’s office.
The door is open and he can see Shikamaru looking outside the window. A line of smoke rises from his cigarette. His back is straight and tense, a lot different from the way he usually slouches.
“Come in.” He says, turning to face his boy. “Sit.”
Shikadai sits down. Shikamaru stares at him for a moment. Normally, when his son knows that he did something wrong, he owns it. He looks at them straight in the eyes, his head high and a look of determined stubbornness that comes straight from his Suna’s royalty side.
Today, he looks defeated. He keeps his head low, his eyes fixed on the floor, hands tight on his lap.
“Dad…” He tries.
“No. Don’t ‘dad’ me. Not this time, Shikadai.” He pinches the bridge of his knows and blinks away the growing headache that he feels coming. “Kami… I don’t even know where to start…”
“Start yelling with me…”
“I don’t want to yell with you, Shikadai. I barely want to talk with you.” He shakes his head. “Do you even start to realize what have you done? Do you know in how much danger you put yourselves into? Do you know what you could have compromise today?”
Shikadai just gaps at him, words lost between his head and his mouth.
“No, you don’t.” Shikamaru slams his hands on the table towering over the kid. He chooses to ignore his jump of surprise. “You didn’t think! None of you did think!!!”
He takes a deep breath.
“Look at me, Shikadai! Just look at me, damn it!!!” He demands.
Shikadai meets his father’s eyes and tries to blink ways his tears.
“Oh, no you won’t. Don’t even think about crying right now.” He hisses back. “Swallow your tears along with your vain apologies. You wanted to be a big, tough team leader today, don’t you? So now it’s the time to own it!”
He knows he’s being beyond harsh. He knows that he never talked with Shikadai like that. He knows that he’s probably scaring the living day lights out of him. But all his worry, all his disappointment, all of it is coming through his mouth without checking up with his brain.
“Yes, sir” Shikadai whispers.
“Explain yourself. Explain how a simple delivery mission went like this.”
“We… I… We…” He stumbles with his words, the lump on his throat bigger than ever.
“Breathe, Shikadai.” Shikamaru softens his tone a bit and sits down. “Just breathe and then speak.”
He takes a shaky breath and unclenches his hands. The kid accesses his father. He tries to find some form of his usual tenderness, of his warmth, something to cling on. But right now his face is an unreadable fortress.
“We… I mean…” he takes another breath. “Inojin spotted the lair by accident, he was just checking up the field to see what would be the safest and fastest way home, it’s not his fault!”
Shikamaru just offers a short nod.
“So he found it and we had already complete our mission, so he said we maybe could check it, because he recognized them from the bingo book.” Shikadai looks at his hands. “I didn’t want to… I thought it was way out of our path and we would be late to report, but it was his idea, you know? And he… he…”
“He…?”
“He’s having trouble with all of this job and promotions and things. So I thought that following his idea would be good for him… Can you understand?”
“You want to validate him?”
“Yeah, that’s it! And Boruto wanted a bit of action and I thought, what could go so wrong? I didn’t intended to go in, just check it and come home and tell you about it… I thought… I thought…” He swallows hard again, fighting back the tears.
“You thought that we would be really impressed by your leadership?”
The first tear rolls down his cheek and he wipes it harshly. Shikamaru closes his eyes and exhales. He can’t fall for that. He can’t falter. Not today. Not on this.
“Sorry… Sorry! I’m good” The kid rushes to say. “I didn’t mean to cry! It just slipped!”
“It’s fine, just explain…”
“So, he sent a falcon and everything. They were just two and they were sleeping, so Boruto said we could sneak in and captured them…”
“Sneak in on rogue S-rank ninjas??? Two genins and a barely made chunin?? Where was your head, Nara Shikadai??? Just tell me!!!! What do you thought that were your options? Your odds?? Did you access the danger? Did you know what they were capable of??? Did you know why they were on the bingo book??” Shikamaru raises his voice.
“No, no, NO!!! OK?? No, I didn’t!!! I didn’t want to go in, I didn’t want to even check it!!! I just wanted to come home, report and maybe have some time with you!”
“Well, you manage that last one!!” Shikamaru puts his head on his hands. “Shikadai… Why? Just tell me why! I need to explain this, I need to tell Sai why my own kid jeopardize his whole mission. Just tell me, please…”
“Why are you so mad at me?? I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry I screwed up so badly!!! I just wanted to please my friend! To take their ideas in consideration!!! Why am I the one on the line??”
“Because you were their leader, Shikadai!!!!” He slams the table again. “You were responsible for their lives!!! On the field, you are not their friend! You are their leader!!! And you need to lead them home, safe and sound!!! Do you even understand this??”
“I do!!! And I’m sorry! I’ll apologize to uncle Sai! I’ll take my punishment whatever it is!”
“Punishment?? Do you think that you are just naughty children doing some kind of mischief? Do you think that a week without dessert will fix this mess? Do you want me to do what? Take away your videogames and call it a day??”
“Yes!!! YES!!!! Anything! Everything!” Shikadai jumps to his feet and leans on the table, inches away from his face. “Do whatever you want, but stop this!!! Stop being mad with me!!! I’m already furious enough!!”
“I’m not mad, Shikadai…” Shikamaru sits back. “I’m disappointed…”
It’s like someone pokes a balloon. The kid deflates and shrinks back. His arms instantly go around himself, seeking some form of comfort. He can’t fight the tears that rolls down his face, his furious blinking only making them fall faster.
“Dad… I…” He tries to bite back the tears, to say something, but only a sob rises from his mouth.
Shikamaru collapses with him. Exhaustion weights him down, all of this day crashing on him like a tonne of bricks.
“Shikadai, just breathe, please. We aren’t over yet.”
The kid wipes his eyes, takes a rickety breath and looks at him.
“Do you understand, now? Do you understand why I’m so disappointed? Do you understand what was at risk? Just yes or no is fine”
“Yes…” He whispers.
“Shikadai, every time, every single time you step on that field with a team behind you, you are responsible for them. You are responsible to bring them home. You are responsible for their safety. Losing a comrade, seeing a comrade get hurt, it’s worse than being injured, do you get it? Every time you get out there, your head has to have to things on it; how to complete the mission and how to bring everyone back home. In one piece. You can’t get distracted because of someone’s feelings. You can’t let your emotions take control. You are the leader. They have to follow your orders. Either liking it or not. Are they mad at you? So be it! They are alive! They are home. Go it?”
Shikadai just nods, tears falling again. “Yes…”
“That’s all I want…” Shikamaru pushes the chair back a bit and opens his arms. “Come here, kid…”
Shikadai almost trips over his feet, he all but falls on his father’s arms, already a sobbing mess. “Sorry, daddy, I’m so sorry!! Don’t be disappointed with me! Please, don’t!!”
“Shhhh, calm down, kid, it’s ok.” He pulls his son to his lap and cradles him. “Shhhh, deep breaths, fawn, you are ok. It’s ok.”
“Sorry, I… I won’t cry anymore, sorry.” He wipes harshly at his face and Shikamaru gently pulls away his hands.
“You can cry now, if you need it. But you also need to breathe. Deal?”
He just nods and clings to his dad. Shikadai doesn’t care if he’s being childish, right now he just wants to cry this day out and to get some comfort from the man he admires the most. He just buries his face on his dad’s shirt, inhales deeply and let the tears fall.
Shikamaru shakes his head and rocks a bit. He needs this too, he needs to hold on to his kid for a little bit and to calm his mind a bit.
“Dai, I hate to be like this, you know that… But today… Today you really need to learn a lesson. That’s why I’m here and not your mom. This is a talk we need to have. The two of us. Get it?”
“Yeah…” He sighs, finally get a hold of his emotions. “Mom will talk to me, too?”
“No, it’s over. Lesson learnt”
“And my punishment?”
Shikamaru gently wipes away his face and ruffles his hair. “I think that you punish yourself enough for today, didn’t you?”
Just another nod.
“Promise to never do this again?”
“I swear! Really, I swear.”
“Then, it’s over ok? You’ll sleep on it and tomorrow is another day and another mission.”
“Ok, dad…”
Shikamaru rests is head on top of Shikadai’s. He hears their breathing slowing and synchronizing. He feels both of their heartbeats calming down.
He turns his chair to the window and looks at the rain.
Being a dad is a lot harder than being a cloud, he muses. But he wouldn’t trade it for anything…