Chapter Text
The night was warm and comfortable. The sun sank below the rooftops hours ago. The lights flickered in the quiet neighborhood. One went out over a particular house.
It had been far too long since he'd fulfilled his duty and checked up on Lily's son. Severus felt like he hadn't had the opportunity to even breathe in the past few months. Being a spy for You-Know-Who was awful, being a spy for the Order of the Phoenix was exhausting, being a spy for the Janus Order was easy in comparison because at least they knew how little he wanted to do with any of the wizards' foolish war.
Being a triple crossing spy was hell. Having his own agenda underneath all of that was migraine inducing. What level of deceit was he on, four? Were quadruple spies a thing? Severus was so fucking tired.
At least the fall of You-Know-Who had lessened his workload, to an extent. He still existed unfortunately. He couldn't tell Dumbledore how or why he knew such, but he knew very damned well that the Dark Lord was not gone. Dead certainly, but that was not as big an obstacle as many believed.
The Janus Order had been up in arms since that revelation. Severus wasn't aware of the intimate details just yet but after his last report they had informed him of a rather nasty bit of magic the Dark Lord - Tom Riddle - the Puzzle - had apparently been entrenched in to allow his pseudo-immortality. Something foul and twisted and very, very familiar to Severus. It got his hackles up just thinking of it. The matter of splinching one's soul… it struck home to any trollish changeling. Of course it did. It made every single one of them furious and horrified.
Severus paused, hand going to press against his chest. He'd chosen his troll form to make this journey to lessen the likelihood of being connected back to his human form. The downside was that it meant his scar was aching and sore. Especially thinking of what the Puzzle had done. That sort of magic was beyond foul and torturous beyond compare. He couldn't understand how any being would go through that willingly. Even for immortality. It wasn't worth it. It never, never was.
Severus took a slow breath in and let the comfort of his natural form distract him from his fury. After a minute of careful breathing and Occluding, the sharp ache in his chest subsided well enough.
Of course, the upside to using his troll form right now was that he was able to actually stretch his limbs and practice his proper stealth work. He rarely could.
That was a topic he could focus on to distract his mind from his dark anger towards You-Know-Who. Severus resisted the urge to crackle and growl under his breath. Bastard. Severus was happy he was gone. He hoped his death had been painful.
He had to focus now before he got distracted, again. It was… always harder to focus in troll form. Severus possessed a precise control over his human form that even his own kind complimented. That unfortunately meant in his natural form, it was quite reversed. He had a hard time with keeping composed in any manner. It was frustrating. And he struggled to stay on task with things, mind hopping from one stray thought to another, especially when those thoughts were not his own.
Eventually he managed to creep his way up to the house of Lily's bratty sister. Severus had always thought her funny, in a "idiot prey that doesn't know it's in the presence of a predator" kind of way. It was hard to take the girl seriously. Now he supposed he would have to give her a secondary level of protection and concern, for… for the boy's sake.
Severus couldn't stop the keening that came from his throat. This form's emotional reactions were hard to muffle. He at least kept it low, out of range of human ears, to avoid waking the household. Down the street, a dog barked. Of course.
He still hurt. Lily's death still made him shudder and want to scream his pain and sorrow. But he couldn't. Not in human form, not properly. And not in troll form lest he wreak havoc. He couldn't appear too broken up either. The Janus Order already knew his attachment to Lily was beyond what they would have preferred. They'd scolded him on it plenty, but Severus got away with it due to his low life expectancy.
He got away with a lot of things most changelings wouldn't, solely because of his complicated position at such a young age. Severus traced a hand over the carvings on his chin. Barely a child, even, to his kind.
Stop getting bloody distracted.
Severus shook his head and refocused his mission. Enter the house. Check on- check on the boy. Ensure his security. Leave.
As soon as he approached the property line Severus felt the blood wards challenge him. He wasn't good at changeling magic, so he simply stood and let them examine him. He wasn't concerned. He had a sworn oath to the boy that Magic itself recognized. The wards tested him, tasted his magic, and relaxed. Severus was allowed to pass.
Entering the house should've been harder. Severus had expected Dumbledore to ward the house. The blood wards alone weren't enough, certainly? Then again, Severus didn't know much of how they worked.
Other than the blood wards there was no proper security. No spells or even charms set to alert for intruders. Severus clicked unhappily as he made his way past the living room and towards the stairs. He could understand not wanting to disturb the family if they disliked magic (likely, with Petunia) but wizards were so strange about their ideas of security and safety. Severus wanted to rip his claws into something. The non magical security was nonexistent as well. Just locks on the doors. How was that supposed to be secure?
He didn't want to correct anything. Leaving his magic behind would leave traces that he didn't want to risk. But surely Dumbledore didn't expect this to be safe? He'd have to pester the wizard about the security measures later. Frame it as wanting to ensure the boy was safe without ever coming near him. He was currently framing himself up to hate the boy to the public eye.
Severus let his inner ears open, both sets flaring wide as he heard a cry. He stayed downstairs and listened to the slow trickles of thoughts from the sleeping humans. Dreams were strange to listen to but they were slow and manageable as a whole.
Dark. Mummy. Dark. Green. Dark. Mummy! Mummy- GREEN LIGHT- bars blocking the way- bars bars bars-
Another cry that burst into wails as dreams turned into nightmare turned into reality. Stuck in a crib in the middle of the night, alone.
Severus restrained his low cry. Of course the boy was traumatized. He felt a smidgen of sympathy. As much as something like him could feel, anyways.
There was the sound of another baby crying and then a loud groan. Thoughts blending together. The second babe was screaming because the first one was. The thoughts of the two adults that were pulled away were very cranky. Understandable he supposed. He’d be rather annoyed about being woken up by a crying baby.
'Damned brat- guilt, just a baby, just a little boy-'
'Shut him up, can't sleep, every night, screaming, crying, fussy, loud, obnoxious-'
"Pet, go calm down Duddy…" The man, Vernon, grumbled. Severus heard the creaking of the bed springs as one of them got up.
"He'll not settle with Harry screaming so much…" Petunia muttered, voice watery and thoughts scattered with exhaustion. Human mothers often struggled with the first few years of child rearing. That made sense. Especially with a traumatized infant to care for. Severus doubted she'd gotten much rest recently.
The boys' combined crying kicked it up a notch, almost as if to comment that nobody had yet to appear to comfort them.
"Then lock the bloody brat in the closet where Dudder's can't bloody well hear him!" Vernon shouted. Petunia scrambled off the bed, thoughts an incoherent jumble of anxiety and panic. Vernon's thoughts stayed firmly in line with his anger and lack of rest, impairing his emotional judgment. He didn't care that his wife was at her wit's end.
"Hush, hush hush hush," Petunia mumbled to herself as she stumbled down the hall. She sobbed briefly as she ran to pick up her son and coddle him close. Severus could hear her heart thumping and her thoughts only grew more muddled. "Shhh, Duddykins, shhh-" Petunia half-sang to him until the baby settled into unhappy sniffles. He heard her set her son down and pick up Harry, trying to shush him to no avail. "Please," Petunia almost wailed. "Please hush, Harry, quiet down." Her voice trembled.
Severus winced and hoped he wouldn't have to intervene. Her thoughts were… not very stable. The lack of sleep and emotional frailty were doing strange things to her mind. Her cranky husband was not helping.
Vernon punched the wall next to the bed. "Shut him UP, woman!"
Petunia yelped and stumbled across the room. Severus was a bit puzzled as to what she'd been doing until he realized- she had actually put the baby in the closet. Apparently, this didn't quiet his crying well enough, for a minute later she opened the door back up and began to stumble out towards the bannister. She made her way downstairs dazedly.
Severus backed away carefully, glad he was in the carpeted living room where his claws clicking wouldn't give him away. He stayed low, glad his coloring served him well in the dead of night.
Petunia looked an absolute wreck. There was some sort of medical condition, wasn't there? Where frazzled mothers struggled with stress and hormones and could begin to act irrationally? Severus resolved to kill her if she thought that was an excuse to harm an innocent baby. He wouldn't even need magic. One claw. Right to the temple. Perhaps even one of her kitchen knives, to avoid strange looking stab wounds.
Fortunately Harry remained unharmed. Petunia simply staggered to and fro mumbling under her breath until she arrived at the cupboard underneath the stairs. She stared at it numbly for a solid three minutes before opening the door and shoving boxes out of the way, leaving them in the hallway, and creating a space. Once she seemed satisfied, she shoved the boy into the dark cupboard and made her way upstairs.
Severus's ears were far too sensitive to notice much of a difference, but it seemed to be enough for the human. Petunia held her son and sat in the rocking chair, muttering to herself until she fell asleep clutching her child to her chest. There was no further disturbance from upstairs as all the humans settled into sleep.
Meanwhile the boy left in the cupboard's cries began to quiet. The dark was soothing to the boy's mind, as frightening as it also was. No lights or crib bars to remind him of worse times. He didn't fall asleep, but he quieted down to miserable hiccups.
Severus waited until the rest of the household was firmly in the depth of their dreams before going to the cupboard. When he opened it, the boy cried out in fear at first. Glowing blue-green eyes startled the poor child into thinking his nightmares had come back.
Without thinking, Severus churred at him comfortingly. Then he paused and wondered why the hells he had done that.
It had stopped Harry from wailing, so that was a plus. The boy stared up at him with wide, frightened little eyes. Ah right. Humans didn't see well in the dark. Especially children. The only thing Harry saw were two sea green slits of light hovering above him.
Severus cast a dim lumos in a dark orange color that would wash out any hints of the color green.
Harry looked up at the ball of light in awe, little hands reaching up to try and grab it. Happy memories flicked through his mind of chasing a tiny golden ball. Without thinking, Severus changed the color to gold. Harry let out a happy little gurgle.
Ah children. Their minds were so easily distracted.
Severus didn't realize how enchanted he was with the tiny child until he noticed he'd been bouncing the light just out of reach of the boy's little pudgy fingers for over twenty minutes. He felt a little ashamed he'd gotten so easily distracted. But then, this was to be expected. It had been a long time since he'd had that warning given, but he was fairly certain if he prodded his memories…
"We're fond of children." His tutor grinned, needle-like fangs bright red. "It comes with the territory. We were made in the image of the original fae, who loved children."
"I hate children." Severus denied, face wrinkled up in a snarl. His "peers" were foolish, idiotic brats with silly priorities. Like making friends and who played with who out on the playground.
"No, you hate older children." Hiro lectured. "You've yet to really be in contact with a child of the proper age. We suggest you avoid anything below three years old. Best to avoid the stress of managing the attachment."
"That won't be a problem." Severus nodded firmly. When was the last time he'd even seen a three year old?
"Excellent. Just in case, you'll need to know before you go getting all confused. It's a mix of fae influence and our own connections to our familiars." Hiro nodded, ears flicking unhappily at the reminder of their… situation. "Changelings love children. We can't really help it. Most elder changelings can learn to ignore and dismiss the majority of it, but it's one of the few things we all agree on: minimizing any damage or harm that could come to small children."
Severus's eyebrows raised. All changelings? But then, somehow he could feel the truth to his tutor's statement. Children were not to be harmed. Something about that struck deep and true.
"Of course, sometimes the mission doesn't allow for such sentimentality." Hiro said grimly. "And that is a hard, hard lesson to take to heart. But we are good at ignoring what we want."
"We're changelings. We never get what we want." Severus piped in.
"Exactly."
The memories faded from where he'd dredged them up. Hardly a blink of time in the current world. Severus looked down at Harry.
He was doomed.
Here was a small child, looking up at him and smiling, and Severus's every instinct screamed at him to take this child somewhere safe and warm where he would never have to wail for comfort again. Not to mention the oath that had bound him further to the boy.
No. No. Severus firmly grabbed every inch of that feeling and shoved it away behind Occlumency shields to dissect later. Harry was safe enough for the time being. The actual security was deplorable and the family might very well cause the boy some harm if their idiocy continued, but he couldn't do anything about it. Not really.
Removing Harry from the situation was not an option. Not with the blood wards and Dumbledore and Severus's many, many twisting loyalties tugging him every which way. He couldn't even afford to be seen here. Much less actually doing something to improve the boy's care.
Severus considered his few options as he continued to play with Harry. The boy wasn't even two years old, kept up with nightmares. Severus would have to subtly look into care for traumatized children. At least he had a bit of a cheat in his natural abilities. He wasn't constrained by the lack of communication with a child so young.
Harry felt safer in the cupboard, at least. And his relatives were happier with him in there. Severus could work with this.
He didn't even need to cast wizarding magic that could be sensed by Dumbledore or whoever was sent to check on Harry. He could feel his natural magic swirling in his skin ready for action. Severus placed a heavy clawed hand on the doorframe to the cupboard.
Sea green light flowed in waves from his hand, molding itself to the inside of the cupboard, lining the walls and even the inside of the door. Full of intent. Safety. Security. Comfort. Protection.
The magic settled and dimmed until he could barely sense it. Wizarding magic rarely could sense changeling magic. Nobody should be able to tell anything had been done to the cupboard. Well, nothing could sense changeling magic, unless it was another changeling. Something to do with how the magic worked. Severus had always been more occupied with learning wizarding magic than his own natural magic. He was impressed enough that he'd managed this spell.
Harry looked up at him when he went to leave, mind flashing with the fear of being alone. Severus sighed and settled back in the doorway and continued to direct the golden ball of light around. Harry continued to grasp at it until he'd worn himself out and fell asleep over thirty minutes later, drooling on his own shirt.
Severus finally stood and closed the door, leaving the boy in the dark. He exited the house without a sign he'd been there except for a slight indent in the carpet where he'd stood for an hour.