Chapter Text
CHAPTER 15: UNKNOWN TERRITORY
Things had been rather calm for the past few weeks.
They had their special performance, with every member of Ateez present on stage and the broadcasting company was the happiest to see them concluded the schedule with no mishap. They even received a coffee truck gift from the producer as a show of gratitude, though one could tell it was more of a compensation for what had occurred during their previous visit. The idols decided to give it to the fans who had come instead, and as far as both parties were concerned, the case was closed.
Yeosang didn’t mind it one bit. He’d said it himself; it was his own carelessness that had let things to go down the stairs, quite literally. His ankle had thankfully healed in time and he was up and about in the practice room the second week of their preparation for the performance. No one could stop him though; he’d stayed away when necessary and let himself recuperate.
He was more than happy to join his members doing what he loved most.
The rest of the group were equally jovial to welcome their Doberman-slash-Maltese back into the formation. Having one less body any time one of them was sick or injured never fail to make the team spirit dimmed ever so lightly. A perfect number would always do wonders to the team morale and Yeosang gladly provided it with perfect attendance.
Though if Yeosang was honest, his time away hadn’t really given him much sleep. It wasn’t severe, but he didn’t appreciate waking up every night and then whenever the feeling of falling, the weightlessness of his body and the view of the dark stairs greeted him in his slumber.
Yeosang was haunted by nightmares and unfortunately, it didn’t seem to disappear any time soon. He’d presume it was the effect of his injury, and being alone in the dorm was getting to him as he was left with his own thoughts. But even after spending time back at work, surrounding himself with familiar people and music and choreographies, the remnants of the incident lingered in the form of a trauma.
For instance, he was reluctant to go to the washroom unaccompanied. The others didn’t catch it at first, but the oldest had always been observant and one particular moment when Yeosang had asked to tag along was enough for Seonghwa to catch on. The input was relayed and the rest of the group took their turn as Yeosang’s plus one.
It was another issue when it came to his personal schedules though. Yeosang had been an MC for almost a year and truthfully, he enjoyed doing it. His solo activities, though lack his members’ wild fervour and crazy spirits, had always given him new perspectives. He’d met people from different companies, expanding his social bubbles to outside of Ateez and gained himself new experiences.
But the recent encounters robbed him from being comfortable on his own. He found himself feeling reluctant to leave the dorm when the rest of the group wasn’t following him and eager to return the minute his schedule was done. He didn’t tell anyone about it, but the way Wooyoung and San had offered to come with him made him realized it must’ve shown on his face.
He envied Hongjoong and Yunho’s shared schedules.
“Yeosang-ssi.”
A voice called out from his side had Yeosang tuning back into the real world. He’d been zoning out again, something he realized had been a habit lately to which he blamed his disturbed sleeps for. He blinked with effort, registering the person standing next to him as their junior manager.
“It’s time to go now.”
He nodded his head, feet stepping into motion. Yeosang was more than ready to leave and return to the dorm, dreading for a good night rest. He hadn’t had a proper meal for the day, but Yeosang wasn’t hungry. He was more inclined to just get home and wash up, head already imagining the soft feeling of his bed and blanket engulfing him into oblivion.
But of course, the universe had other plans for him.
They were in the vehicle, engine all fired up and ready to leave the parking space.
His manager turned from the driver seat; lips parted to speak.
“I’m going to have to stop by the company for a bit before I drop you off, is that okay with you?”
Yeosang barely heard the words, mind growing fuzzy by the seconds as he fought to stay awake. Somehow, his body felt ready to crash down as he leaned into the seat. God, he really needed the sleep tonight.
“Hmm.” He simply hummed, head too heavy to nod and lips too tired to part. He let the world blurred over the edges as his eyes slowly shut, the last thing in his view was of his bag and his water bottle, already half empty from when he’d drank before leaving the broadcasting station.
As the car hit the road, Yeosang was no more.
“Hyung.”
Seonghwa looked up from his phone screen, the slight change in lighting had him squinting in the dark living room. He could make out Jongho’s outline standing in the hallway leading to their rooms, all dressed in pyjamas and ready for bed.
The clock showed it was well past two in the morning.
“What is it?” He asked, voice a slight whisper in the space although he kind of knew what the maknae wants.
He watched Jongho rubbed the back of his head. “Are they not back yet?” The maknae asked, almost hesitantly.
Seonghwa breathed out softly. “No.” He shook his head. “Not yet.”
“Are you going to keep waiting?” Jongho inquired, body slowly reclining to lean towards the wall. His eyes were round, but his face showed fatigue no doubt from the soccer practice he had earlier that day. Seonghwa felt the familiar warmth settled in his chest, something he’d learned to embrace since their trainee days.
“You can go to bed first if you’re tired.” He assured the youngest, pulling a little smile. “I’ll wait up for them.” Seonghwa continued.
He heard Jongho’s quiet sigh. “You always do.” The maknae fought back a yawn. He limply waved his hand, “Tell Yunho hyung I did wait for him. Goodnight, hyung.”
Seonghwa simply watched the younger guy as he retreated away, leaving the oldest alone in the dark living room. It wasn’t that Seonghwa minded the light, he in fact didn’t like to stay in a dim space for too long. No, he just didn’t feel like letting the electricity run when it was him alone doing nothing but scrolling his phone as he waited for Hongjoong and Yunho to return from their radio DJ meeting.
He basked in the peaceful solitude of the dorm, the quiet buzz of nothingness a familiar sense in his presence as the rest of his members no doubt slipping into dreamland. His eyes found the brown boxes by the front door, a temporary addition to their household as they packed for moving out. It wouldn’t be long before they leave, and Seonghwa could feel himself feeling reluctant to as the days went by and the date came closer.
He was sure he wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
Another half an hour passed by when there was beeping sounds coming from the front door, the lock being opened and Seonghwa looked up from his phone once again. Yunho came in first followed by the leader, both looking equally tired and sleepy. They greeted the oldest and Seonghwa wasted no time to ask whether they’ve eaten or not.
Both reassured him they had gotten dinner with the manager on their way back to the dorm and Seonghwa was satisfied with that. He let Yunho return to his room after relaying Jongho’s message to him before joining Hongjoong in their shared room.
“I’m going to wash up first.” Hongjoong told him as he put away his bag. “Go to bed, Hwa. You look like a ghost.” He muttered, giving a side glance to the older guy.
Seonghwa snorted at his roommate. “I’ve been sleeping the whole day doing nothing.” He said to Hongjoong.
“You didn’t play games?” inquired the leader, eyebrows raised.
Seonghwa shook his head with pride. “Nope.” He confirmed.
Hongjoong smiled a little. “Good for you.” He said, flinging a towel over his shoulder. He walked to the bathroom in their room, back towards Seonghwa as he spoke,
“I’ll be quick. You can turn off the light first if you want.”
Seonghwa nodded his head silently even though he knew Hongjoong wouldn’t see it. The other was already turning on the shower as the door clicked shut behind him. Seonghwa was about to get into his bed when he felt something out of place.
What was it?
He tried to recall, thinking it was something he’d forgot or missed out but nothing came into mind. Perhaps it was the hour getting to him, despite spending the day in his bed drifting between sleeps and not playing games too much as per Hongjoong’s request. His head had been getting drowsy as he waited in the living room, even more so after the nap he took.
Not letting his mind play tricks on him because lately he’d been overthinking as they pack for moving out, Seonghwa gracefully laid onto his bed, his head hitting the pillow with a soft thud. His eyes slowly shut, and his ears were lulled by the sound of shower coming from the bathroom. He could also hear Hongjoong humming a tune, and he relaxed further onto the mattress.
He didn’t ponder on the feeling. His sense told him it was just a false alarm and he could think about it more when he woke up in the morning. With that, Seonghwa fell asleep just as Hongjoong got out from the shower and no one realized they were a member short in the dorm that night.
He didn’t want to wake up, not yet at least. He could still feel the lethargy cloaking his entire being and it had been a while since he was able to sleep without having to dream of anything. He just wanted to escape for a little while longer.
But the buzzing kept intruding his peaceful slumber and Yeosang’s curiosity got the better of him as his eyes slowly peeled open to the real world.
His head was muddled still with remnants of sleep and he felt drowsy, disoriented somehow. He remembered getting into the vehicle, his manager saying something to him before everything faded and he fell asleep. At least, that was his perception. But he didn’t recall getting out from the car.
And he certainly didn’t remember how he’d ended up sleeping at the corner of the practice room.
What?
Yeosang looked around him, eyes blinking to push away the blur outline of the space though one quick glance at the mirror-filled-wall told him exactly where he was.
Yeosang was alone in the practice room.
The lights were on and the speakers stood solid by the sound system area, looking less out of place compared to Yeosang. His head swivelled back and forth, looking around him for something, anything to tell him how he’d fallen asleep on the practice room floor. There was nothing to answer his confusion and his mind immediately thought of his phone.
His hand reached out into his pocket only to find it empty.
He belatedly recalled keeping his phone in his bag which he’d brought along into the manager’s car.
Where was his manager?
So many things, questions running inside his head and Yeosang let out a hiss as he was assaulted by a throb to his temple. He looked up to the wall, the clock showing it was almost seven in the morning.
It was only barely past midnight when he’d left the broadcasting station.
He’d spent the night at the company? How did he get into the practice room? Wasn’t he on his way back to the dorm?
Did he sleepwalk?
Another prick reached his eyebrows and Yeosang frowned, eyes instinctively shutting close as he willed the ache to go away. He fought for coherence, and once he was confident enough, he tried getting up to his feet. Thankfully, they didn’t fail him.
Somehow, along his confusion and the dull headache he was sporting, Yeosang made it back to the dorm. He didn’t think it through, that much was obvious but, with no phone and no way to contact anybody – not even a soul walked past him that morning as he trudged out from the company building, he could only hope that his members were waiting for him at their shared space. Soon to be their old dorm.
He reached the front door and to his delight, the headache was starting to dissipate. A new issue raised alert in his mind though; how would his members react? How was he supposed to explain his absence from the dorm last night and that he’d remembered nothing from the moment he fell asleep in the car?
The first thought that clicked as answer to him was their junior manager. He needed to contact the guy to find out how the hell did he actually got to the practice room and ended up spending the night on the cold floor. It was nothing foreign to him, but the last time Yeosang had to sleep in the practice studio was during their trainee days.
Keeping that in mind, Yeosang slowly pushed the door open, ears attentively listening for any sound inside the dorm. Taking careful steps, though he didn’t know why he was acting like some teenager in trouble (he lowkey expected Seonghwa to nag at him for sleeping outside and not informing them in advance) Yeosang took one quick scan of the living space and detected no one else in the room.
The rest of Ateez was still asleep.
Releasing the breath that he didn’t realise he was holding, Yeosang stealthily crossed the hallway and reached his shared room with Wooyoung in record time. He closed the door quietly, turning around to see his roommate sprawled across his bed lips parted slightly to let out soft snores. He would’ve taken a picture for future purposes, a video even, if he had his phone with him.
Then his eyes caught the material lying on his bed.
It was his bag.
Confusion merged with a slight excitement and relief at seeing his belonging, Yeosang was about to walk over to his bed when Wooyoung shifted in his bed.
“Yeosangie?” The dancer croaked out, voice deep with sleep. He had one eye peeking through heavy lid and his arms stretched out to pop some bones. Yeosang kept his mouth shut.
“Where are you going?” Wooyoung asked further, taking in Yeosang’s attire and comprehending the state his roommate was in. “Why are you wearing yesterday’s clothes?” He pointed out.
Yeosang looked down to his body, head running wild to explain to his friend when the words tumbled out before he could stop it, “I slept in it.” He was practically telling the truth.
Wooyoung was still in a daze, seemingly wanting to fall back to sleep as he hummed at Yeosang’s response. His eyes were closed as he mumbled, “Alright.” Satisfied with the short conversation, Yeosang gladly let Wooyoung returned to slumber as he crossed the room and got to his bed.
But then he heard the soft murmur as Wooyoung spoke,
“I thought I saw you wearing your PJs last night.”
Another wave of confusion hit Yeosang at Wooyoung’s words, followed by an eerie feeling but he pushed the shiver away.
“What do you mean, Wooyoung?” He asked, stumbling over to where his best friend was laying prone instead. Yeosang hovered above Wooyoung, something tense making its way into his frame.
“Wooyoung, what did you say?” He repeated, shaking the other guy gently by the shoulder.
“Hmm?” Wooyoung groaned, blinking away the sleep or perhaps trying to make his roommate disappear so he could continue dreaming. But then Yeosang was already sitting down on his bed, next to his arm. “You said you saw me last night?”
He watched him yawned, one arm flinging over to cover his eyes and deftly nodded. “Of course, I saw you last night. You even wished me sweet dreams.” Wooyoung muttered in his sleepy voice.
Yeosang was perplexed, to say the least. “You mean I did come back? I was here last night?” He gulped; eyebrows furrowed. He waited for a response, but then the soft breathing coming from his roommate told him Wooyoung was a goner.
He didn’t understand, nothing was making any sense.
What actually happened?
Recalling his earlier aim, Yeosang strode over his own bed with purpose. He grabbed his beg, searched for his phone and fished the gadget out with resolution tinted by anxiety. He unlocked his screen, feeling overwhelmed by the minute at his own premonitions but he pushed away all the thoughts to get to his objective with clarity.
He dialled his manager’s number.
“Yeoboseyo?”
“Hyung,” Yeosang breathed out shakily, his fingers clutching the phone with unknown fervour. There was this feeling, a foreboding, a shadow looming behind his eyes’ view of everything and Yeosang willed himself not to panic. He relaxed his hold as he spoke,
“What are you doing, hyung?”
He could hear the hum of perplexity as his manager waited a second before answering, “Nothing much, I just woke up.” He told the idol. “What is it, Yeosang-ah?”
The singer contemplated his next words, wondering if the manager would know what had happened.
“I… I just wanted to thank you for sending me home last night.” He breathed out, partly nonchalant. “I don’t remember… saying that to you,” added Yeosang, and hoped he didn’t sound too off. There was shuffling noises from the other end and Yeosang could hear the sound of tv coming from the background.
It was all static before the manager’s voice was heard again.
“About that, Yeosang. I don’t think I can let you do that again, anytime soon.” The manager sighed. “Jinwoo hyung gave me an earful of scolding.”
It was Yeosang’s turn to pause. “W-what? What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t thinking right when I let you walked all the way home last night.” The young manager sounded frustrated, more to himself. “Not after the whole stalking issues.” He muttered in disappointment.
Yeosang tried not to let his voice wavered. “I… walked home last night?”
A beat passed.
“Yeah, you don’t remember? We stopped by the company. I got out to grab things from the office and you texted me saying you’ll just walk to the dorm.” He explained.
“Owh.” Yeosang let out dumbly.
The manager carried on, having not heard the tone of Yeosang’s voice, “You must’ve woken up when we stopped. By the time I got back to the car, you had already left. So, I went home straight away.” He reiterated.
If that truly was what happened, then why didn’t Yeosang remember any of it? And why’d he woke up in the practice room? Did he sleepwalk? And instead of going back to the dorm, he’d mistakenly walked into the company building? Then how was his bag already in his room?
Nothing was making any sense to Yeosang.
He breathed out shakily, “Right. Sorry I got you into trouble, hyung.” His eyes stared blankly, opting to not think as he felt the return of the headache at the side of his temple.
“Is everything alright, Yeosang-ah?” His manager asked, finally having picked up something that felt off.
“Everything’s fine.” Yeosang had quickly but softly whispered.
As always, the words though unnecessarily fully truthful, slid Yeosang’s tongue like a habit.
Not wanting to rouse any more suspicion from his manager, Yeosang ended the phone call with a swift “have a nice day, hyung” and hung up.
Just as he was about to put away his phone and bag, wanting to lay down on his bed and perhaps get back to sleep like Wooyoung did, hoping he’d retain the small piece of memory he seemed to have lost, his eyes caught something.
There under his bag, placed on his mattress, hidden from sight if it weren’t for him picking up his bag, was an envelope.
A soft pink envelope decorated with tiny patterns of ribbons and dots.
And a line of delicately carved in purple spelling,
Pretty Kang Yeosang.