Chapter Text
From the Hacker Diaries, 9 April 198_
I don’t know what to do about St Jude’s. I can’t nationalise it, not on the advice of that poor madman, someone will find out. But it is our policy, and he may be mad but he may also be right about what the PM wants.
Sir Humphrey seems to have had a Gadarene conversion though.(1) He seems to think I should nationalise, or at least I think that’s what he meant when he said that ‘taking things in the round, as it were, and with the interests of the wider sector and the reputation of all concerned at stake, some public-sector responsibility may alleviate the undesirable attention attracted by the present governance arrangements.” So that seems to make things clear then. I’ll call Bill this evening, get the DfE to tell the local Council they’re getting an extra school, and that will be that.
Supplement, late that night
Disaster! The Chief Whip has heard about my agreement with Bill and says the PM is furious! He wants his son to go to the richest and most successful boarding school in the East of England, he doesn’t think this is the time to be sending any messages, and Vic [the Chief Whip - Ed] even mentioned that Lucy went to boarding school and would I like my hypocrisy all over the Guardian ? Well no, no I wouldn’t, even though I’m nothing to do with education and never have been. I’m sure the Guardian wouldn’t care.
Memo, Sir Humphrey Appleby to Bernard Woolley
If you are truly a high-flyer, you should be able to come up with something here.
From the Hacker Diaries, 11 April 198_
I have come to a brilliant resolution about St Jude’s. Bernard says Sir Humphrey doesn’t want the Faculty to have got away with it, but that doesn’t mean I have to nationalise the lot. I went back to the original letter from the Principal and it says he’s asking me to nationalise the land, and the school. So if I take the land without the school… they lose their perks and benefits, but the PM’s son still gets his school place. With a bit of luck, the poor mad Reverend will decide that’s enough of a poke in the eye for his persecutors that he can retire with his head held high, and if he doesn’t, well I’ve done my best.
Sir Bernard Woolley, in conversation with the Editors
Obviously it is only right that all credit, as well as all blame, is publicly attributed to the Minister in charge of a decision. But if you believe our Minister - oh, sorry, Lord President then - came up with that solution on his own, you’ll believe anything.
Memo, Sir Humphrey Appleby to Bernard Woolley
I find I must acknowledge that a certain imbalance of benefit exists to the extent that there is an evident relationship of debt and gratitude between our persons, which will be requited in due course.
From Page 24 of the Times, 4 May 198_
Change in the air at St Judes
Stately St Jude’s Abbey, one of the oldest schools in the country, will face a new beginning in September. An important precedent has been set by the Government’s decision to revoke parts of its Royal Charter, and numerous Faculty as well as the Pribncipal are planning to retire. Her Majesty has appointed the Rev Paul Harvey as Principal upon the advice of the Privy Council.(2) The Rev Harvey’s first duties will include welcoming David T_____, the eldest son of the Prime Minister.
Letter in the Times, 5 May 198_
Sir,
The selective withdrawal of parts of the Royal Charter of St Jude’s Abbey represents a dangerous threat to the charitable purpose of Public Schools. We call upon the Government and particularly our loyal Old Members to acknowledge the benefit they and the nation receive from the unfettered operation of our schools. It can hardly be denied that educating our national leaders is a charitable purpose which affects the whole country.
The Rt Hon Earl W_______, Provost of Eton
Thos Shovell DD, High Master of St Paul’s
Professor Canon the Lord Fitzalan, Chair of Trustees, Winchester College
Letter in the Guardian, 5 May 198_
Sir,
The Government’s procrastination on the question of Public Scowls does it no credit. What the Education Secretary giveth with one hand, the Prime Minister taketh away with another, and the many-tentacled DAA appears to interfere to no useful purpose whatsoever.
Lord Jones of Groxbourne
From the Hacker Diaries, 31 May 198_
Bruising morning at Cabinet. Lord Jones is being appointed to lead a Royal Commission on the Public Schools. As it will be a cross-departmental affair, the PM wants to have him in attendance at Cabinet so it looks like I’m going to lose the Lord Presidency. I never did get to wear the Court Uniform. But I did the right thing with St Jude’s, or at least a right thing, for once, and my real job isn’t affected. After this nonsense some nice normal Administrative Affairs will be quite welcome. A Report on Civil Service overmanning from the Think-Tank is unlikely to involve dangerous lunatics and if it does, they'll be in the Civil Service safely away from the nation's youth.(3)
Transcript of security recording in Ministerial car, 31 May 198_
JH: So I’m back to being a plain old Minister from the end of the summer, I suppose. At least Humphrey you can stop worrying about which hat I’m wearing all the time.
HA: I feel I must say, Minister, that your discharge of the duties of the office was more than adequate, and might even be described as effective, if with no greater superlatives.
JH: I almost feel like that might have been a compliment, Humphrey.
HA: Yes, Minister.
- A Damascene conversion? Surely Hacker did not intend to suggest Sir Humphrey was a swine?
- Remember this name? Hacker won't.
- There was once an original and singular Think Tank, a prelapsarian state to which Sir Humphrey's successors yearn to return.