Chapter Text
Natasha slips out of bed with the first sunrays sneaking into the room. While she gets dressed, she tiptoes around the room, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty in her bed.
She remembers sneaking out of Wanda’s bed a few weeks prior, trying not to get caught by anyone. This morning, she moves silently because she doesn’t want to wake Wanda for different reasons. Because she’s not running away. No, she hopes to be back before Wanda wakes up.
Maybe that’s why she’s smiling like an idiot, just when a hand catches hers, pulling her back.
“Where are you going?” Wanda mumbles sleepily.
“Just for a run, I’ll be back soon,” she replies, squeezing Wanda’s hand softly.
The brunette frowns, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her free hand, still not loosening her hold on Natasha’s with the other. “Stay?” She pleads softly, pulling Natasha back into bed and into her body.
“I haven’t run in days,” she says, laughing when Wanda’s arm wraps around her middle.
“Are you sure?”
“I need to.”
“But your hand-“
“I’ll be fine. I promise. Go back to sleep.“ Natasha leans in a ghosts a kiss on Wanda’s cheek.
Wanda lets go and nods. She isn’t convinced, far from it, but Natasha feels a restlessness in her body that she only knows one way to get rid off and maybe Wanda knows her well enough to be able to read the energy radiating off of her. The thought widens her smile even more. To be able to be seen and known and understood might be the greatest gift of all.
She quietly shuts the door on her way out.
She slept okay the previous night. Not as good as she hoped she would, but she chalks it up to the combination of her late morning nap, the lack of training and the waves of emotions that hit her all the time since they’ve arrived at the farmhouse.
Running is her way of processing things, and she has a lot to process.
She realizes she isn’t the only one up at this time of the day while she’s tying her shoelaces (which is a rather annoying thing with one and a half hands). She listens to Clint’s footsteps walking to Nate’s crib, and then turning to come downstairs.
He knows she’s up. She knows he knows. Might as well wait for him.
She fidgets for a moment, before she realizes what she’s doing and stops until he comes downstairs. It’s weird how easily she lets go of everything she has been taught when she spends a few days in this house, and turns into someone who fidgets and... is terribly human in general. It’s a good and familiar weird. But it still manages to fill her with hope because it means there’s a chance of being more than her past, of getting that happy ending that she wants so desperately.
“Morning,” Clint says, scratching the stubbles on his chin when he reaches the last step. “You’re going for a run?”
“Yeah. Want to join me?”
“I should.“
“I’m not sure if that’s a yes.“
“It wasn’t a no. But we could also spar.”
Natasha holds up her cast with both eyebrows raised.
“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Clint replies and then suddenly starts grinning. “Of course. Now you’re with Wanda.”
“That’s not-“
“No, no. Let me enjoy this.“ He smiles brightly, his eyes sparkling with joy as he stands there teasing her. “You’re together now, you’re more careful for her. It’s really cute. Makes up for all your relentless teasing I received.“
“We aren’t-“ What? Together? She stops herself from saying it because it wouldn’t be true. They might not have a term for it yet, but it doesn’t feel like they need it.
Clint laughs triumphantly.
Natasha punches his arm. “We aren’t cute.”
“Will you punch me again if I argue? Because you looked damn cozy yesterday evening, all cuddled-“
“I will punch you again if you don’t get that old ass of yours moving.”
“Can I at least have some coffee before we go?”
“No.”
Clint keeps his mouth shut then, knowing better than to argue with her before she had her early dose of adrenaline.
They take an easy route avoiding the hills because it’s morning and Clint is a grumpy old man at this time of the day and annoys the shit out of Natasha if she asks for too much.
He loves their sparring sessions, their competitions at the shooting range. But running? Clear no.
For a while, the only sounds to be heard are their steps, a steady rhythm of feet hitting the ground, perfectly in sync. It’s calming, the familiarity of it all.
She knows why he’s here, knows he offers to talk if Natasha wants to much like Laura did yesterday. But she doesn’t know what to tell him. How to tell him. Words don’t seem to have a meaning. They feel more like a pale little placeholder for this feeling in her chest that keeps expanding in big overwhelming waves every time Wanda so much as breathes.
Maybe he feels the same about Laura and his kids.
It’s not new at all, and still the thought scares her for a second, making her stumble and break their rhythm. Because it means family. She considers Wanda family. Wants her to be. Wants it all with her. Even the things she never considered having before.
Clint stops when he realizes Natasha isn’t with him anymore, and turns to look at her a little out of breath, hands resting on his hips.
“I...”, she tries and fails. She helplessly searches for his eyes.
The thing about their friendship and what made them the perfect team on missions is that they could always communicate without words.
So when Clint sees her struggle, he takes away the stress with just two words. “I know.”
Natasha exhales, lets the feeling settle in her chest.
The term ‘love’ isn’t new anymore, doesn’t feel like it has ever been. She just hadn’t found the right person to connect it to.
But Wanda’s words yesterday, about the house and the swing set, the care she had put into helping Natasha, the evening spent cuddled together on the old rug … All that has stirred something deep inside of Natasha. Something she hadn’t known she would ever want and now she does with every fibre of her body. And the world is scary and dangerous, and now that she has Wanda in her life, it changes how she sees things.
“I love her,” she breathes, looking right into Clint’s eyes.
“I know.”
They stay like that for a while, just looking at each other, full of mutual understanding. Clint knows what she isn’t saying. And Natasha feels for the first time what Clint had never voiced when their life had been in danger and he had held onto his wedding ring like a lifeline.
Now she has everything to lose too.
Natasha thinks about how far they’ve come, both of them. She considers him her brother, but it runs so much deeper than that. Without him she wouldn’t be here, for many obvious and for a few not so obvious reasons.
Sometimes, she doesn’t think he knows how much all of it it means to her.
So she steps up to him and wraps her arms around him, way softer than they usually hug.
After a moment of surprise, he returns the gesture.
“Thank you,” Natasha whispers into his neck.
“What for?”
“Everything. I love you, you idiot, you know that?”
He squeezes her a little tighter for a second. “I love you too, Nat. And if you ever tell someone I said that, I’ll have to kill you.”
Natasha chuckles and shoves his shoulders when she pulls back. “As if you’d ever beat me.”
Clint straightens his posture. “I could. I just let you win because I like you.”
“Well. How about that. Whoever makes it back home last has to make breakfast, loser.”
“Deal.”
Natasha makes it home first. Of course she does. But neither of them has to make breakfast because Laura and Wanda are already up and at it.
With Nate on one hip, Wanda is flipping pancakes while Laura is setting the table for all of them.
Clint doesn’t bother to stop by the door, he goes straight for a shower, never one for cold showers.
But instead of fighting him for what’s left of the hot water, Natasha leans against the doorframe and watches as Wanda tickles Nate’s side, making the boy squeal and laugh.
God, she loves her.
Laura notices her first and sends her a warm smile that she easily returns.
Wanda’s whole face lights up when she spots Natasha by the door. “You’re back!”
Natasha decides to ignore the nervous flutter in her chest and crosses the room quickly.
She lets Nate have her thumb when his chubby hands reach out for her and places a kiss on his forehead, before allowing herself to meet Wanda’s waiting eyes.
“Good morning,” she says quietly. She wants to kiss Wanda so badly it physically aches. Wants it to be something she can do without worrying who sees and who doesn’t, at least here where she can be herself. And it‘s not like Laura doesn’t already know, right?
For a second she hesitates, because this isn’t what they agreed on, but then she throws her worries into the wind and decides to act on her feelings and ignore Laura’s presence.
“Can I kiss you?” She whispers, needing to make sure. Never does she want to do something that causes Wanda unease.
Wanda’s lips stretch into a smile and she nods her okay, immediately settling her free hand on Natasha’s hip when their lips meet.
Natasha kisses her softly, aware of the child in Wanda’s arms, and because even a soft, short peck on the lips like this one holds the promise of many more to come.
“Good morning,” she whispers close to Wanda’s ear when she pulls back, her heart beating fast in her chest, ready to burst with joy.
She could swear Wanda shivers and takes pride in that.
But then life distracts her and she laughs because she’s happy. Unbelievably happy, despite the smell of burned food.
“Your pancake.”
Wanda’s eyes widen and she hastily pulls the pan from the stove, while Natasha instinctively reaches for Nate and steals him from Wanda’s arms.
He makes a whining noise in protest. Not that she can blame him, Wanda is pretty damn perfect.
“You’re a traitor. Have been from day one, you little monster,” she tells him while she places him on her hip.
“Don’t call my child a monster,” Laura scolds her playfully in passing while she grabs juice from the fridge.
Natasha ignores her, cheeks still tinted because Laura has seen them kiss, which kind of makes them official to the family and that feels really huge. Despite their deep friendship, sometimes Laura feels like an older sister to her, and that makes it weird, kind of?
Deciding not to think too much about it, Natasha carries Nate to his highchair by the table and enjoys his happy laughter as he drums against the table with his little hands.
He’s growing so fast, it’s crazy. He’s just a couple months old and yet time seems to fly. Soon he’ll learn how to walk and next thing she knows she’ll be teaching him how to ride a bike.
Like anytime she does when she’s playing with the kids, she loses track of time, and if it wasn’t for Clint’s loud steps on the stairs, she’d probably forget about her own shower.
She excuses herself and hurries through her own as fast as she can - getting dry clothes off is far easier, but still annoying as hell.
***
“Nick called,” Laura tells her when she sits down at the breakfast table twenty minutes later. “Said he wants his jet back.”
Natasha chuckles.
Laura is the only one that gets away with calling Nick Fury by his first name and while Natasha has witnessed their tight friendship quite a few times over the years, she hasn’t gotten a word about how it had come to that yet.
Rumor has it that Laura has saved his life. Or that she’s his daughter. Or that he’s just her puppet. The list goes on and on and gets more absurd with each theory but it seems to entertain the two way too much to stop it.
“What did you tell him?” She asks, loading her plate with food while also sending a smile in Wanda’s direction, catching the brunette already looking at her.
“That he will but only if he stops by for dinner next weekend.”
“Let me guess, he agreed?”
Laura shrugs and chuckles. “What can I say, he’s a softie.”
Natasha laughs. “It’s okay, we’re heading back today anyways.”
“I know that. But he doesn’t. And he spends way too little time here.”
“You’re leaving?” Lila looks at her with big round eyes.
“I’ll be back soon, bud, I promise.”
Lila puts her best pout on her face in response, clearly not caring about future visits. “But you need to braid my hair!”
“I will right after breakfast, how about that?”
“Lila, that wasn’t polite,” Clint intervenes. “What do we say when we want something?”
Little Lila sighs dramatically, much to everyone’s amusement, before sitting up straight and locking her eyes right on Natasha’s. “Auntie Nat, would you please braid my hair before you leave?”
“Of course, bud. I’d love to.”
Lila’s beaming smile warms Natasha’s heart. She would’ve never guessed that something so small would ever make such a difference.
“What about mine?“ Wanda whispers, leaning in close enough so Natasha feels the words against her skin. “Will you brade mine too?”
Goosebumps travel all the way down Natasha’s spine, causing her to shiver before she takes a shuddering breath and sends a playful glare towards the other woman when she finds Wanda grinning at her.
“I don’t think so.”
Wanda pouts. “Please?”
“Fine.”
Clint chuckles. “Guess we finally found a way to crack the Black Widow.”
Natasha throws a toast at him when Laura has her back towards them and flips him off.
“I saw that,” Laura says without turning back around.
“Not possible.“
“You’re doing the dishes later.”
“Yes, Mam.”
***
Lila bounces all the way to the couch, excited as if she was getting the biggest stuffed animal in a toy store.
Natasha would never admit it to anyone but those moments hold a meaning to her nobody could ever understand. Because the only other little girl who had ever sat between her legs as Natasha had braided her hair was Yelena. And for the longest time in her life, Natasha hadn’t been able to do it for anyone else again.
But little Lila had asked one day and now it’s some sort of tradition.
“Remember what I said?”
“No moving until it’s done,” Lila reports dutifully and with a rather adorable firm tone.
“Exactly.”
Carefully, she gathers a few strands of hair and lets her fingers dance a familiar pattern, careful to use only her unharmed fingers.
Lila sits still like a statue, a wide smile plastered on her face.
“Where did you learn that?” Wanda asks and sits down on the armrest next to her to watch.
Natasha has been so focused on the task that Wanda’s question catches her a little off guard. Not enough to lose track of her work, but enough to make her pause for a second.
She resumes with a sigh. She isn’t annoyed or anything, it’s just been a while since somebody asked her about it and it comes with a tinge of sadness.
“My mother,” she replies after a while without looking at Wanda, focused on her hands as they move through Lila’s hair.
“Your mother? I thought you never knew her?”
“She wasn’t my birth mother. Just… Melina played my mother for a few years on a mission.”
Wanda easily puts the pieces together. “Ohio?”
Natasha nods. “Ohio.”
There is no need in telling Wanda why she considers the fake family time her only family time. Why she thinks of Yelena as her sister and of Melina as her mother. She isn’t sure she’d go as far as calling Alexei her Dad. But when she lets herself feel sentimental enough, she allows herself to consider the years in Ohio real.
“They’re beautiful.”
She hums a confirmation and finishes her work with a few last motions. “Hair tie?”
Lila holds out a pink one for her to take.
“Thank you, big girl.” She ties the braids together and finishes her work with a kiss on Lila’s head. “There you go.”
“Thank you, Auntie Nat,” Lila says and gets up to throw her arms around Natasha neck. “I love you.”
Natasha hugs the little girl back. “I love you too, bud.”
Lila runs upstairs then, calling out for her mother to show off her new hairstyle, while Natasha remains on the couch.
“You’re wonderful with the kids,” Wanda says with a loving smile on her lips when Natasha finally turns to look at her.
“They make it easy.”
“Take the compliment.”
“Thank you.” Natasha reaches out her hand and intertwines her fingers with Wanda’s, pulling her from the armrest onto the couch. “I don’t know why she loves those braids so much but I’m not complaining. Soon she’ll be too cool for that, so I take what I get.”
“You know why she wants them, right?” Wanda asks incredulously.
Natasha shakes her head, frowning.
“She wears them because of you. Because she looks up to you. You’re her hero.”
“I’m pretty sure Steve’s her hero.” Yesterday’s bedtime story is proof of that.
“Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Pretending that what you’re doing isn’t worth a compliment,” Wanda replies immediately, intertwining their fingers. “Tasha, you’re her hero. She wants to be like you.”
“She has no idea.“
Wanda shakes her head. “She doesn’t know who you used to be. But she knows who you are now. And that’s all that matters to her.”
Natasha wraps her arm around Wanda’s shoulder and pulls her into her arms. “Thank you,” she says quietly, pressing a kiss to Wanda’s temple.
Wanda kisses her pulse point in return.
For a while they stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms and lost in their own thoughts.
“When do I get mine?” Wanda asks then, pulling back just a bit. “My braids?”
“At home?”
Wanda’s cheek turn a soft shade of pink.
And Natasha knows why. Home. She’s called the compound home, their home. It’s not their own, not completely, but it’s where all of this between them started and hopefully where it will continue to grow.
“I like the sound of that.”
***
Goodbyes have never been Natasha’s thing, not since the first time she had come here. But it seems to become progressively harder each time with the kids getting older and not wanting to let her go.
Cooper’s eyes water, Lila is actually crying and Natasha has to wipe her tears with the promise of a soon return. Nate is too little to understand, but he whines when Wanda hands him back to Clint too.
Clint hugs her tight, lifting her off her feet again, and he gets a soft punch to the shoulder with Natasha good hand in return.
“I’m proud of you,” he tells her quietly when Wanda is distracted by Laura. “You’ve come so far, Nat.”
Natasha would never admit it to anyone, but her eyes sting a little at those words. “Thank you.”
“Come here, Nat, let me hug you before we drown in tears,” Laura orders softly, pulling Natasha into her arms.
“You all act like it’s goodbye forever. We’ll be back before you know it.”
“Still,” Laura insists, with a smile in her lips. “How’s your hand?”
“Good, like the other three times you asked.”
Laura shrugs. “I don’t care how often I ask. With all the patching up I had to do because of you, I’m allowed to.”
Natasha nods. “Thank you for having us. And for everything else too.”
Laura hugs her for a second time then, tighter. “I like her, Nat. She’s good for you. And I’m proud of you for letting her in.”
Now is no use in trying to fight or to hide her tears. They run down Natasha’s cheeks a little too fast.
Laura wipes them with a reassuring nod, and then lets go of her.
Natasha’s hand finds Wanda’s all on its own and when the door of the Quinjet closes behind them, Wanda kisses the remnants of the tears away.
“You okay?”
Natasha nods. “I hate goodbyes,” she says even though that’s not why she’s crying.
“We will be back here. It’s not goodbye. It’s a see you soon.”
“I know.”
But everything feels different now with Wanda by her side. With Wanda in her heart.
Wanda is about to step back so they can start, but Natasha doesn’t let her go.
She pulls her close and finds her eyes, grounding herself in them before the words start tumbling out of her mouth. “I… I’m so grateful for your wish. Coming here, sharing this with you, it’s… They’re everything to me, and now there’s you and it’s… it feels bigger than that. And… I’m bad with words, I just need you to know that… that I…”
Damn it. She said it to Clint, why can’t she say it to Wanda?
She’s jumped out of buildings and planes without knowing what’s below, she’s fought hundreds of fights without knowing if she’d live or not - why can’t she say the words?
“I know,” Wanda says, both hands cupping her cheeks in an attempt to calm Natasha’s struggles. “I feel the same.”
Natasha knows, she has felt it in Wanda’s head. But saying it feels important, like something she really really wants to do.
“I don’t know why I can’t say it,” she admits, her voice suddenly sounding smaller.
“It’s alright. We have all the time in the world.”
“But I want to.”
“I know. But I don’t need to hear the words to know how you feel.” Wanda’s thumb strokes over Natasha’s cheeks, her eyes radiating the same smile that her lips do.
Natasha closes her eyes and leans her forehead against Wanda’s, the tips of their noses almost touching. “I really really really like you, you know that? Everything about you.“
“I like you too,“ she replies with a low chuckle, the sound causing her heart to flutter. “And hey, you know what’s cool?”
“What?”
“That can be our secret code around the boys. Because I don’t want to hide us.”
“You don’t?”
Wanda shakes her head. “I’m not ready for the world to know but… I want you to be mine. If that’s something you want. And I want to tell you that I love you every day.”
Natasha’s fingers tighten their hold on Wanda’s hips, grounding her before her hands can start shaking when a wave of emotions wash over her.
She never thought someone could love her. Her.
“Breathe, Tasha.”
She manages a shaky nod. “Does that mean I can call you my girlfriend?”
Wanda tilts her head to the side. “Girlfriend, huh?”
Natasha nods, trying to convey confidence even though her palms feel sweaty and there’s a different kind of nervous flutter in her chest now.
“Yeah, you can. I’d love that actually.”
And I love you, Natasha thinks, before leaning in to kiss that wonderful woman of hers.
“Do yo want to ... I don’t know... get some coffee? Maybe? With me? When we’re home?”
“Like a date?”
She can feel the heat creeping up her neck, coloring her cheeks in a fiery shade of red under Wanda’s intense gaze. “Yeah,” she confirms. “Like a date.”
“I’d love to.”
…