Chapter Text
“What’s wrong with you?” Sapnap asked, looking up from his laptop at his roommate. Dream was curled up with Patches on his bed that did not hold his 6’3 frame very well. Patches was purring and curled into the center of the ball his body was making. He had been down since a week after winter break.
“He uhm-” A pause, “Fuck- George broke up with me.” Dream said, letting out a breath. “He fucking left me.” Dream felt harsh waves crashing into his rib cage and shattering his sternum. He used to think he would willingly snap his clavicle to offer his beating heart for the moon, but now he didn’t even want to light it at night. He didn’t want to shine his light bright enough to offer the moon some light. He wanted to relish in the New Moon and keep his light dim. The clouds were thick enough to hide his dwindling light, anyway.
“Did you try talking to him? Like sitting his ass down and making him talk? You guys are- you’re like made for each other. You’re Dream and George. George and Dream . You’re like fucking soulbonded or something.” Sapnap closed his textbook. He saw the eyebags on his best friend’s face. He knew that Dream loved too much for his own good. He was a sensitive lover. He was everything that anyone could ever want and George was clearly at fault for not seeing this. Dream was enough. Sapnap just didn’t know how to get that point across.
“Did I do something to deserve this?” Dream asked, red puffy eyes looking up at Sapnap.
“No… no you didn’t. You’re perfect, Clay.” Sapnap hadn’t called him by his name since the friend group gave him the nickname of ‘Dream.’ It was almost foreign on his tongue, even if they were childhood friends.
“It hurts..” Dream admitted softly. “I loved him too much to deserve nothing.”
Sapnap frowned and walked over to him, rubbing his shoulder. “Dream, you’re my best friend. I love you more than anyone in this world, man. And if he cannot see how great you are then it’s not worth it. Then maybe you weren’t soulmates. It’s going to hurt, it’ll hurt for a while. Then it will get easier to deal with the hurt. Your heart will scar over and you’ll move on. You’re so strong, that it is insane you are as amazing as you are and still willing to love. You have been through hell growing up, till you came to live with me. Those wounds scarred over, these will as well.”
Dream nodded and they just sat in silence.
<!> The following flashback contains themes of child neglect/abuse. PLease do not read if that is a sensitive topic for you <!>
“Nick-” Dream’s voice came through the phone, “Fuck can I uhm- Can I come over?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” Sapnap asked.
“It’s bad this time.” Is all Dream said before Sapnap was meeting him outside of his house with a couple packed bags. Sapnap brought Dream back to his house and Sapnap’s mom, Jules, greeted them at the door.
Jules led them to the kitchen and she examined the blonde 15 year old before her. “What happened?”
“He just said it had been bad this time.” Sapnap explained, “He never once has said it was bad.”
Dream just stared at her as she requested the first aid kit and got an icepack from the freezer. “This is going to hurt, Clay, but I need to stitch this wound above your eyebrow.” Dream nodded and winced as she stitched his wound and put a small bandage on it. He held the ice pack on his swollen eye that was bruised. “Why don’t you change your shirt and I’ll have Nicole work on getting the blood out of this one.” Dream nodded and took the shirt off, changing into another one. Sapnap flinched seeing his best friend’s ribs showing through his skin. His torso was littered in bruises and he was too skinny for Sapnap’s liking. Sapnap handed the shirt to his older sister who took it to get the blood out of it. Sapnap got some food around.
“He was gone for a few weeks.” Dream whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Jules only offered a comforting smile and cupped his face, “Sweetheart, there’s no need to be sorry. This is not your fault. You’re perfect.” She stepped aside to let him take the food that Sapnap offered him. He couldn’t eat it all, his stomach didn’t have the room. But trying to eat is a good enough start. “Clay, you’re welcome to stay here for a while.” Dream nodded his head a bit. She would go on to adopt him a year later.
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“For someone who likes fall so much.. its pretty fucking ironic that you chose to leave.” Dream said, a week later. He was staring at his moon, blinded by the harsh cold lighting on his endless ocean. The harsh waves were crashing against his lungs.
“It’s springtime, Clay.” George said, standing in front of him. They were in Dream’s room, Sapnap was taking a test then planned to hang out with Karl. Now was as time as any for them to talk.
“And it hurts that you left with the leaves in the winter.” Dream spun one of the rings on his fingers, his heart beat pounding in his head.
“Fall was my season, you knew that.” George countered. They were both too stubborn to not put up a fight against each other.
“And you were meant to be mine.” Dream looked down at the floor.
“I am yours.” George stepped forward, Dream flinched away.
“No… you were . It’s not the same. You told me you loved me, George. We had plans for the future.” Dream could feel the storm clouds rolling in. He could taste the ash of a snuffed fire. He could feel the shade covering his skin.
“I do love you!” Dream looked up at George again.
“Please stop lying to me.” A breath, “You made this bed so fucking lie in it.”
“I’m sorry!”
“You are only apologizing because breaking promises breaks you right back, Georgie .” Dream knew by now the things he deserved and the things he didn’t. He knew that agony was not one of those things and yet it followed him everywhere. He was faltering and bending and wilting. But he was addicted to pain. He was addicted to the way it stole his light and challenged him to get it back.
“That’s not fair- you’re not being fair.”
“Good god, I need a drink.” Dream always swore against drinking, he knew what it did to people. He knew what happens when alcohol runs in your blood. But Dream wanted to falter under the will of vodka and not love. He wanted to be addicted to the numbness that the drink allowed. He wanted to avoid feeling anything.
“Just like your father.” George spit.
“So what? At least I don’t abandon the people I claim to love like yours.” A pause, “it must suck to grow older and realize you turned into him.”
“You’re being a dick.” Dream laughed, it was a pained chuckle.
“No, you just have the inability to realize what you had until you lost it. I’ve always been a dick, Baby , just never to you.” Dream stood up and walked over to Sapnap’s closet, grabbing his vodka. He made himself a drink, then made George one. He mixed it with a random soda he found in his fridge.
“I was happy to be yours, Dream .” George said, looking at the bottle of vodka like it wronged him personally. Like it haunted his blood. Like it took Dream from him.
“You never let me have you, not really.” Dream chugged his drink as tears slipped down his face. He looked at George who followed suit, crying as well.
Dream would swear that the salty tears on his face matched the rough waves that followed George’s tidal waves. George’s moon dust smile was replaced with lunar frowns and tidal tears. And George’s harshly cratered words left clouds blocking the golden rays of sunshine and replacing them with salty rain.
“I am not a puzzle for you to put together when there is nothing better to do.” Dream said, finally after moments of silence.
“I didn’t want to leave you.” George said and grabbed Dream’s hand, sitting down with him on the bed. Their cups left on Dream’s desk. Dream squeezed their hands together.
“Then why?”
“I didn’t want to not be enough for you.” George admitted softly.
Dream let out a breath, “You’re perfect, sweetheart.” Dream offered a dimmed smile. “You’re the love of my life, G. I could never not love you for the way you are. I know feelings are hard for you, and you don’t tell me that you love me back often, or that some days you don’t respond to my texts. I know that you love me through actions. You hold my hand, and litter my freckles in kisses, you see random flowers and send me photos of them because you know I like flowers. You sit in the sun to remind you of my warmth. You smile wider when we are together and we cuddle and banter and we love. Love is more than harsh words of confession. It’s soft and quiet when it doesn’t need to be loud. I know that you love me and that’s enough. That’s all I need, baby.”
George nodded, “I love you, Clay. I love you so much that it pains my heart to not have you in my life. Please don’t leave me..”
Dream kissed George on the head.
“Never.”
And just like when they first met, they were once again creating the greatest eclipse of all time. The tides were calm, the clouds were gone. Because love didn’t always have to be complicated. It just had to be true.