Chapter Text
Imogen's not sure when Laudna drags her off. All she knows is that every sense of her being knows nothing but Laudna in that moment. Her eyes burn from crying, and she resists the urge to rub them, try to get rid of the visions that still dance behind her eyes. That bubbling anxiety hasn't stopped, a pot of water too full and just barely keeping contained.
"Imogen," Laudna says gently, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
It's the same words she said earlier, as everyone else around her said the opposite. Her beacon amidst the oppressive sounds that pushed down, down, down, trying to force her right back down into those depths.
"If this scares you, if you fear you won't come back, don't do it." Laudna grips her arms with urgency, like she needs nothing more than for Imogen to hear her.
"What if Ashton's right?" Imogen can't take a full breath. Her lip trembles with an impending sob that she refuses to grant passage until her words finish. "What if it's going to take me no matter what and I'm just fightin' the inevitable?"
"Nobody can force you into this. Not even an ancient being. You are so much stronger than you know, darling."
Imogen chokes on that waiting sob. "But I'm bein' selfish. If I can help, even if it makes me lose myself-"
"No," Laudna says, quick and sharp. "Imogen, if this mission means losing you, let Exandria burn. Nothing matters more to me than your safety, physically and mentally. Don't let others compromise that."
She leaves no room for argument; not that Imogen wants to. She wants to live in this fantasy for a while, that they can still have that little cottage in the woods, baking and foraging and just being. That after everything they've been through, everything that's still left, they will get their happy ending.
Her cheeks are wet and Laudna is wiping them, careful but trembling too. Imogen surges forward and rests against her girlfriend's chest, hopes that tether is enough to keep pulling her back when it tangles with so many others. She wants to feel it. Wants it to be tangible and visible and theirs.
"I'm so scared, Laudna." Her voice is broken, throat swollen and raw.
Laudna holds her tight. There is nothing right now; no gods, no god-eaters or Ruidusborn, no moon mission or expectations. It's just Laudna and the arms she's encompassed her with, squeezing Imogen like she can push out all Ruidus' influence. Laudna's breaths are coming in quick against her shoulder. "Me too."
"I can't lose you," Laudna whispers, and it's so familiar. The same words they've needed to tell each other for so long, danger and death around every corner they turn. Imogen's so tired. She is tired of fighting, of feeling like every moment may be her last. She's tired of the fear.
She can't lose Laudna, either. If her plea to the Dawnfather meant anything at all, Imogen needs to see this through. Laudna deserves to live and be free and Imogen would risk anything for that. She prays to whoever may have the chance of listening - the Dawnfather, the Stormlord, anyone. Imogen just wants a life with her, free of all this. But if giving into Predathos is her only chance, Imogen would do it a thousand times over.