Chapter Text
In the end it was Alfred that brought Jason fully back to the living. The butler had always been epitome of safety, sanity, and calm, in all of their lives. Alfred represented the neutral ground between the Bats’ fight for justice, the vigilante life and the life of the family. No matter how much rage, hate, and hurt Jason had directed towards Batman, he had never wanted to cut Alfred from his life.
So when his brothers failed to reach him in his panicking and traumatized mind, Alfred reminds Jason of the way back.
“Master Jason, you need to calm down” Alfred tried to keep his voice calm, but even he could hear the deep, deep concern he was feeling towards the boy.
“You are safe here, you are alive” the butler took a step closer to where Dick was holding Jason on the ground. Jason had started to exhaust himself and was now mealy staring blankly into the middle distance, breathing fast and shallow.
“Jason look at me”
Tim, still sitting helplessly on the floor, could see the exact moment Jason snapped back to reality. The butler words had stirred something within him, and Jason’s eyes found Alfred’s in the lamp lit corridor. As their eyes locked, Jason took a deep breath and relaxed in Dick’s arms, slumping against his chest. Dick seemed to relax as well as he did not react when Jason broke lose from his grasp.
Jason’s breathing quickened again as he broke eye contact with the butler and surveyed the scene before him. Dick was behind his back, leaning against a dresser looking exhausted but relived. Tim, sitting on the floor in front of him, looing lost and concerned evident in his eyes. Damien, standing perfectly still in the middle of the corridor between Tim and Alfred, closely observing him, not doubt to see if Jason is going to freak out again. Because shit he had completely freaked out
When the memories hit him he has to fight to control his breathing, because he is sure he is going to start hyperventilating if he lose the little control he has regain over his body.
Because shit, he fucking died. AGAIN.
His hands start to shake as he breaks lose from Dick and places himself with his back against the wall. Now covered in bloody scratches, he faintly remembers making. He is close enough for Dick to reach him if he feels the need to, but there’s now enough distance between them so they are not touching. And Jason don’t think he can handle any kind of touching at the moment.
He lets his head fall into his hands.
“shit, shit, shit” he makes it into a mantra in his head, or out laud, he does not really care. He completely lost control. He let them see him at his absolute weakest. Shit, even without the crippling show of weakness, he let his brothers watch as he fell into the pitch black abyss that is his most traumatizing memories. Never mind him, he let his brothers relive it with him. Shit shit shit why did this happen. It had been weeks since his last episode of not being able to supress the darkness within him, and not the white hot rage and oozing green insanity, but the black pit in his stomach making staying alive so god damn difficult. But then again, he had never before died a second time. Not after the first, metal hitting flesh, blood hitting sand, laughter and cries blending together in the hot air. And no matter how many times he had thought it, it had never been a second time. Until now.
“it’s okay, you’re okay now” Dick has found a mantra of his own, it’s okay he’s okay we’re okay it’s going to be okay.
It’s okay. The adrenalin has not entirely gone away and the air is still thick of fear and shock from what just happened. Dick can see that Tim is still in some kind of shock, but he is calming himself down no doubt with a similar mantra as Dick. He’s okay. Damien is still standing rim rod straight, hiding his emotions behind a blank expression, but Dick that knows Damien is still afraid. They’re okay. He did just watch one of his brothers die, being revived, and relive his darkest moments. We’re okay. And Jason, Jason is siting against the wall with is head in his hands, trembling from what Dick guess is an equal amount physical and psychological exhaustion. But he is alive and he is aware of that he is alive. It’s going to be okay.
“What the fuck happened?” Jason is staring at them now, trying hard to keep his breathing even. And he can not decide if he wants to fall asleep on the floor, jump out of the window and get the fuck away, or punch someone hard in the face, preferably Dick if he dose not stop chanting “it’s okay” under his breath. Dick returns his stare with wide, blue puppy eyes. And Tim finally decides to join the conversation.
“I think; I think you may have suffered from delayed arrhythmia” Tim visibly relaxed as he take charge over the situation once again. Facts he could deal with, missions, cases, evidence.
Jason shifted his tale eyes to Tim, who even if he felt a wave of relief upon seeing Jason’s very much alive eyes, he shifted under his glare.
“The electric shock from earlier most likely cause delayed arrhythmia, causing your heart to stop long after the actual electrocution”
“tt” Damien suddenly decided that it was time to go back to normal, or at least their version of normal, “well apparently you could have done a much better job when you examined Todd after we got back to the cave, Drake” he delivered, shooting a glare towards Red Robin.
“Yeah well I am not the only medically trained individual here, Damien” Tim scuffled returning Robin’s glare.
“And might I suggest you go see a psychologist or something similar, Todd” Damien returned to stare at the bats on the floor.
“Fuck you, bat brat” a smile is tugging at Jason’s lips now, “only if you join me”, the smile turns into a tired but genuine laugh as the current Robin rolled his eyes at him and crossed his arms. The smell of blood in sand, temporarily forgotten.
All the tension still in the corridor dissipated with Jason’s laugh, the danger is gone and they can all feel how tired and relived they all are. They have gotten enough nightmare material for one night.
“So, what happened to that movie night?” Dick gets to his feet, extending a hand to Jason “everyone still up for it?” Tim also get to his feet, laughing at Damien’s obviously over exaggerated eye roll, and walks over to help Dick getting Jason to his feet. Jason let his brothers help him up and throw his arms around their shoulders, and even manages to ruffle Damien’s hair as they walk past him. Whatever horrible things hunting him in his nightmares and memories, he will always be able to wake up. And his brothers willl always be there.
“Might I suggest tea and scones to that?” Alfred could not help but smile as the brothers launch themselves into yet another debate over possible crappy B movies to watch.