Chapter Text
This morning felt a little off for Chuuya but he really couldn’t seem why, he woke up this morning with his phone dead from the amount of times he tried to get a hold of Dazai for the past week, “I really don’t understand why he won’t pick up my calls, he said that he loved me, why can’t we be together, everything about this whole situation is off somehow.” Chuuya thought to himself while rolling off his tatami mat to plug in his phone, even if it only charged a bit it was better than nothing in his opinion.
Chuuya dreaded going to work today, but he really couldn’t understand why it just felt like something was missing from his life. “Maybe I’ll call him now, will he respond in the morning, guess I’ll find out.”
His phone rang once before a message played, “sorry this number is unavailable.” “Unavailable, did he change his number?” Was what chuuya thought but something didn’t sit well with him and he panicked rushing out the door and to the agency only to be met with… a party?
For what defeating the guild the ginger scanned the room to see all the agency members eating and happily talking around the office all except for ranpo who had a solemn expression draped across his face holding a white envelope with a pretty red seal on it, which Chuuya immediately recognized to be the official mafia seal. “What? Why did Dazai write to me? He was never really a love letter type of guy.” The redhead thought to himself carefully walking past the crowd of people so as not to be noticed.
“Hey Ranpo, is that letter for me?” Chuuya asked tentatively. “Yeah.” Ranpo replied, handing the letter over to the other detective. “Do you know what this party is about?” Chuuya asked, skipping the note into his pocket. “HEY! Chuuya I didn’t see you there enjoying the party?” Yosano said, pulling Chuuya closer to her. “Sorry, what's this party about?” Chuuya asked once again, feeling his stomach drop as he waited for the answer. “Ohh you didn’t hear? The mafia boss died so the entire organization is in chaos right now, isn’t that great-…….”
He felt sick to his stomach from those words, what happened this wasn’t how this was supposed to end, no not now, they could’ve worked this out he didn’t need to go. With that chuuya rushed to the bathroom so as not to puke right then and there, his stomach hurt and the tears from his eyes just seemed to keep going, he couldn’t process this. Nothing made sense anymore, but then Chuuya remembered something, just a sliver of hope that he held on to as he ripped open the white envelope.
Chuuya started to read over it
Dear Chuuya, My world was dull before you came in splattering the world I grew accustomed to with bright color, I was happy for the first time in my lowly life, and then that day, my world broke again leaving me to search for something that could make my heart whole again, it was too late the one thing that filled me with joy ran away from me, and everyday my vengeance for the one that made me push you away grew stronger to the point I couldn’t bare looking at his wretched face, but that’s not the point for this letter. I just wish that maybe in another life we could’ve stayed together, my world was never complete without you and I just couldn’t bare this meaningless life anymore, so I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you, I’ve always loved you there is not a moment in my life I have stopped since the moment I laid eyes on you, I’m sorry.
Love,
Osamu
“Osamu, you stupid, stupid man. I hate you so much.” Chuuya muttered through broken sobs. “I hate you so much, why just why, we could’ve made it work I know we could’ve.” Chuuya whispered to himself, staring back at himself in the mirror. “Even in the afterlife you still manage to push every drop of feelings out of me.” The redhead thought, folding the letter, wiping his tears and rushing out of the building not even bothering to look back but sending Kunikida a quick text that he is sick and won’t be at work for the next week.
Speeding back to his apartment Chuuya busted through the door of his already wrecked apartment from the week prior. “ I can’t do this anymore. ” He muttered to himself in a soft whisper. “I can’t do this anymore.” He repeated in a pleading voice. “ I won’t do this anymore. ” Chuuya decided grabbing a piece of paper from the counter and started to write:
Dear detective agency,
I’m sorry that I have come to this decision. It really isn’t any of your faults. I guess my future has always been planned like this. I wish you all well in your next stages of life that I will not be able to be a part of. I just can’t live without him.
Farewell,
Nakahara Chuuya.
“I guess this should suffice.” Chuuya said to himself, choking back the tears that were currently staining the paper. “It’s time.” He said standing back up and walking over to his medicine cabinet grabbing a couple of pills while shaking and having second thoughts on if he really wants to do this. But every time he thinks of a life without him every doubt in his mind vanishes. Reaching for his most expensive wine “If I’m going out now I at least have to make this wine a worthy investment.” Chuuya thought to himself before sticking the pills in his mouth and washing them down with alcohol.
His stomach was churning in the most painful way possible before everything went black .