Chapter Text
Bam was torn between looking away or continuing to hold that painfully earnest gaze.
He wanted to look away, partly out of a frankly pathetic desire to hide his eyes, an old habit from FUG that he still hadn’t completely shed. And also, partly because it somehow hurt. It pained him, to look at the tender smile on Yuri’s face and the dedication shimmering in her crimson eyes. It was more than the tiny feeling that he didn’t… feel worthy of them.
But at the same time, as paradoxical as he knew it sounded, looking away from Yuri felt like one of the last things he wanted to do. She was looking at him, looking at him so kindly, and it was— it was making him feel a good too many things tugging at him at once.
(He still kept surprising himself, at realizing how much he’d deeply wanted to see her again.)
Yuri’s words washed over him. Her declaration that she wouldn’t let him suffer alone anymore, her agonizingly sincere desire to talk — to understand — all causing his heart to be enveloped in warmth and his shaky resolve to further weaken.
Like he said, he didn’t doubt a single one of her words. How could he? It felt as impossible as returning to the cave with Rachel, only this didn’t bring him any sorrow.
The truth was.. a foolish, stubborn — or maybe just simply fearful — part of Bam wanted to keep hiding the thoughts he’d been having from her. He wanted to look away, to shy away from Yuri and her warm smiles and kindness. To hide within himself and keep his emotions under lock and key, just like he’d done for years while in FUG
But… he wasn’t in FUG anymore. He’s free. His friends still get in danger because of him, but he’s free. And the look in Yuri’s eyes look was so warm. Sh-She said that she wouldn’t think less of him and she meant it—
Would it really be so bad, he wondered, to tell her about how she’d been in his mind? That he’d been thinking so much about her hug? The way his heart still mourned the fact that it ended?
Besides, he couldn’t help think with a small amount of amusement, she hadn’t been willing to give up on him being alive, hadn’t been willing to let her title and the Hell Train’s rules stop her, what made him think his weak attempts at avoiding the topic will?
Despite everything, the thought made admiration swell up in his chest. But Bam already admired Yuri, respected her for helping him and saving him twice now, as well as for just being… just herself.
In the end, he realized, he couldn’t refuse her genuine desire to listen. Or maybe… deep down, he really didn’t want to.
So, with a small, soft exhale that wasn’t completely resignation, he looked back at her with a tiny smile as he hesitantly murmured. “Okay.”
Yuri’s smile grew bright. Not victorious, but grateful. Bam couldn’t possibly explain why he appreciated such a small thing so much.
“I…” Bam licked his lips, swallowing. His eyes anxiously flicked to the side for a second but he made them stay on Yuri. “I… I’ve been… ever since I laid down, I’ve been thinking a lot…”
“Yeah?” The woman hummed as she nodded, hand was still enveloped over his (much to his delight), clearly encouraging him to continue.
He took a deep breath and, bracing himself, he slowly told her the truth. “I’ve been... thinking a lot a-about you, specifically..."
Yuri hadn’t exactly been sure what she’d been expecting to hear.
Much as the fact annoyed her and made her want to puff her cheeks like she did when was little, the fact of the matter was that she didn’t know Bam well enough to guess why he’s suddenly acting different.
She knew the special quality the kid had by nature and his potential, the determination behind his big (cute) golden eyes that solidified her desire to help him, his handsome baby face— all things that she’d held close her memories and to her heart even after their first meeting years ago.
And, more recently, the fact that he’d clearly grown from the scrawny, clueless boy she met on the 1st Floor…
Not to mention, the suffering he went through because of those bastards of FUG. All right under Yuri’s nose. Almost a decade, wondering and wondering where he could be when this whole damn time he’d.
Just hours ago, she listened for a good while — with absolutely every ounce of attention — to Bam telling her everything FUG put him through and how he finally managed to escape. He didn’t have to have told her what he did, in hindsight, but Yuri genuinely appreciated that he did tell her.
But even after that long, much-desired talk with him, and even after Bam impressed her with how he convinced her to not go and give that piece of shit Yu Hansung what he deserved (and she still wanted to, damn it)… she still didn’t know him all that well.
Hell, that’s why she came here to the kid’s room in the first place. Because she wanted to change that. Like she told him early, she wanted to actually know the boy she met on the 1st Floor and the person he’d grown up into.
And it’s why she was so determined to find out the reason for the change in attitude. That and, well, she wanted Bam to see that he really could trust her. Not just to help him out of whatever pinch he’s in, but with… talking, too. He could tell her anything and she’d listen, because… she wanted to. She cared.
She cared about the kid, she’d long stopped denying that to herself and Evan. And if there something bothering him, then she wanted to know— so she could help.
However… she still hadn’t been Bam to open with that. It actually caught her off-guard. As she blinked, her eyes widening slightly, the fact repeated itself in her mind.
He’d been… thinking about her? Yuri?
The moment Bam confessed that, his soft face turned a pretty noticeable shade of red. He seemed awfully embarrassed for some reason. Yuri probably would’ve teased him by calling it cute if she wasn’t too busy being… surprised?
But despite that, Yuri felt the surprise soon give way to… something else. A warm, pleased feeling coursed through her, straight to her heart, and she felt it even more as the fact sank in. He’d been thinking about her. Slowly, she began to smile, and she tried to keep too much of her pleasure from showing.
“Me, huh?” Yuri started, unable to keep some amusement out of her voice. She raised an eyebrow at him, “You’ve been thinking about me this past while, since you sat down to rest?”
"Y-Yes." Bam squeaked, just a bit higher pitched than normal. He's looking at her curiously now, almost like he hadn't been expecting a reaction like that.
She hummed at that, fingers absently rubbing, and she just clear. "Hmmm... interesting. But what about me in particular?"
"Everything." Was Bam's instant response, leaving Yuri blinking at him again. Judging by the look of mortification that quickly took over his reddening face, he did not mean to blurt that out.
Yuri could've sworn she felt her heart skip. A moment passed. Then she couldn't help it, she began to grin, and amused, she asked- "Everything, huh? You mean everything about me?"
A rhetorical question maybe, but Yuri still felt that she had to know. She had to-- wanted to hear Bam confirm it. Even if Yuri wasn't sure why he would, there's something about the idea that this boy - the boy she'd grown so fond of after just a single meeting, the boy who made her heart beat faster (and her nose to bleed) just by thinking about him - that made her feel... happy.
(Considering how she'd been unable to forget him after he was declared dead, and how many times she'd think back to him, even playing that game Repellista gave her that no one will ever know about, it's just...)
"U-Um, that's, um, I..." Bam proceeded out a string of half-audible noises that's something between stammering and mumbling, his golden eyes flickering from to her anywhere else. You know, even it's really not like him, it was still rather endearing to watch.
Yuri tried really hard to not to snort at his expense. She patted his hand to reassure him he didn't have to keep twisting his tongue for her, and she heard the faintest sound of him taking in a sharp breath.
Bam, having paused, let out an exhale and gave her an apologetic look before answering. "Yes."
"Hm... Hmhmhm~ I see! I'm really flattered, Bam." Yuri told cheerfully beamed at him while Bam gave her a slightly surprised look. Well, flattered might be putting it lightly, but that's not the point. "I didn't think I'd be occupying so much of your mind after you got to rest."
"I... wasn't expecting it, either." Bam admitted after a moment, seeming relieved as his shoulders relaxed... only for that to be wiped away with a small wince. "Ah... I hope that didn't sound rude, Yuri."
"Pfft, relax, you're fine." Yuri reassured him, once again giving his hand under hers a light squeeze. "Besides, why should I complain? After all, you said that you've been thinking all about me for hours..."
She only felt a little bad for making him blush again. Bam's gaze again briefly wandered to the side, but she still caught his lips twitching. "R-Right..."
"So, now I know that," She said as she decided to focus back to the matter at hand. "but what does this have to do with you blushing and stuttering so much?"
"Well... I've been thinking about... what you've done for me, in both times we met." Bam slowly began to tell her as he met her eyes again. His voice was soft and laced with a solemnness similar to earlier when they were catching up. "How you... lent me the Black March to help me pass Headon's test, even though you really didn't have to and... you could've gotten into a lot of trouble for it."
Yuri did her best not to let her brows fall at that last part. She didn't tell him - and probably never will - that part of the reason she gave him the Black March was motivated from what that scumbag told her. It was her secret to keep along with everything Phantaminum told her on that hellish day, and she'll carry them to her grave.
That said, even if that scumbag contributed to her decision, it had still been her choice. Yuri chose to lend Bam the Black March, because she saw his conviction. Because she chose to believe in him, and have hope that he'd live.
And that's why she chose to interject with the following, to make sure there won't ever be any doubt of her feelings about it. "I never regretted it, you know. I never did, and I never will... no matter how much Evan still likes to whine about it."
How could she, when if she never chose to help him in both instances, they wouldn't be sitting next to each other right now? It's just unacceptable. She didn't care what anyone thought.
The corners of Bam's mouth turned up and his eyes softened in a way that looked sad in Yuri's eyes. His voice grew quieter. "I know, I've thought about that too. But even now, I..."
He trailed off, his head lowering until his bangs shadowed his eyes, and he let out a short, breathless noise. An empty chuckle.
"Even now, I still can't help but feel guilty that I couldn't even return it to you." Bam's words were tinged with, and his expression heavy. "I lost it in a bet I had to make with Anaak, during the Crown Game..."
Yuri felt her brows rise He still felt guilty about that? It didn't really surprise her, considering she'd seen how kind the kid truly was. Plus, she'd be lying if she said that she'd prefer it if he didn't feel guilt at all. But still...
"Yeah, I know you did lose it... but I did get the Black March back in the end." Yuri pointed out, now frowning. She hoped that it's crystal clear that she's not upset about it-- at him. She never was. "It's not like Anaak's kid could've stopped me."
"I know, and I'm glad you did get it back." Bam told her earnestly, and there's a growing sadness in his eyes that Yuri wanted nothing more than to crush to bits. "But even so, I feel bad that I couldn't even do that for you in return, at least. I... I wanted to do at least that much."
Yuri's face softened, and she squeezed his hand tight. She leaned closer to him, speaking gently. "But it's fine now, don't you get it? Just seeing you alive and still going, and still yourself, is more than enough for me, Bam."
"But... is it really enough, when you've just did the same thing again?" Bam questioned, the small smile not reaching his dulled eyes. Yuri's jaw clenched, wanting to tell him 'yes', but then he kept going. "That's twice you've placed yourself and your title at risk for me now, Yuri. But this time... you did more than that. You didn't just save my life, you- y-you saved the lives of my friends too... and that's-"
He paused, taking a few seconds to breathe in and out. She's still holding his hand, but now she's intertwining their fingers together, and she had absolutely no attention of letting go.
When Bam spoke again, his voice had a vulnerability to it that tugged at her heart. "I've already thanked you for that, I know, but I— It didn't feel enough, not even close.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” Yuri firmly assured him. “Because I’d do it all over again.”
“I know… I know. And you’re amazing for that, Yuri.” Bam said softly as he gazed at her with sad but tender eyes, and Yuri felt her heart beat faster. He thinks I’m amazing…
Yuri found herself easily smiling at him again. “Well. I already knew that I’m amazing, but I gotta admit… it’s nice hearing you say it.”
“It’s only how I feel.” Bam stated simply, though that’s definitely some pink decorating his cheeks. So cute.
“Hmph. Well, should probably already know this, too, but… I think you’re pretty amazing yourself.” Yuri told him with nothing but sincerity, smile knowing and eyes twinkling. “And not just because I saw the impressive stuff you did during the Dallar Show.”
Bam didn’t say anything, but Yuri knew she’s seeing the tiniest of smiles on his face— and yup, more pink on his cheeks alright. It seemed that it did mean something, to hear it from her, too. Hm, Yuri felt glad for that.
But then the smile flickered away, gone, replaced by a frown as he shook his head and glanced down at their joined hands, the frown deepening when he did.
"B-But... but Yuri… even with everything I said just now,” Bam’s voice was quiet, and again uncharacteristically shaky, when he spoke up again. “And even though I mean every word, that's... actually not the reason why… I’ve found myself acting different with you.”
Huh? Yuri’s smile fell, and she arched an eyebrow. “It’s not?”
“No. That was some of it, of course, but…” Bam chewed his lips, suddenly refusing to meet her eyes. “What I've been thinking about the most... and that I don't understand why I can’t stop thinking about it..."
He then faltered, and although Yuri’s dying to know what’s really going on now, she gently prompted. “Go on…”
“I-It’s…” Bam hesitated, and he looked frustrated at his own hesitation. Until, finally, he just blurted it out. “I-It’s when you hugged me."
...Eh?
Did she... hear that right? Did she hear that right?
Yuri blinked, then blinked again, and-- yup, that's her heart beating faster. Calmly, perfectly calmly, she repeated, just to be sure- “...When I hugged you."
"Y... yes, it's just as you heard." Bam mumbled with a nod, biting his lip as his gaze lowered with a hint of... shame? "I know it may sound a bit silly to you, and maybe it is..."
Oh, believe me, Bam, that's not what I'm thinking at all, Yuri wanted to tell him, but she's keeping her mouth clamped shut out of fear she'll say something pretty embarrassing. He... he'd been thinking about that too...
"But I've been thinking back to it, again and again..." Bam went on, his voice soft and pensive as he murmured, eyes still on their hands. "I... I kept thinking about that moment where, after we were standing face to face to each other for the first time in years, you... you put your arms around me. You didn't hesitate, you just did it."
At that last part, Yuri couldn't help frown a bit. She doubted this was the case, but she didn't want to risk it. "Did that... bother you? I know I didn't exactly ask for permission—"
"No!" Bam's reply almost startled her with how quick and loud it came. Yuri stared at him in surprise as he looked back at her with wide eyes, until realization flashed and guilt came over his face for the outburst. But there's still this weird incomprehension in his gaze as he continued. "No, no... it didn't bother me, Yuri. How could... that couldn't be farther from the truth."
Following that, took in a deep breath, one obviously meant to calm himself. It did, somewhat, as the tension left his shoulders. Tentatively, he met her eyes again, a growing vulnerability within the gold.
"The truth is, I... really... really liked it, when you hugged me." Bam told her, the confession softer than a breeze. A warmth grew in Yuri's chest at that, but he wasn't done there. "I... I liked how it felt, with your arms wrapped around me. I liked how... how tightly you held me. I liked how it felt I was being enveloped by you, your touch. How warm you felt, and how made me feel warm too. I like how it felt that I could melt, I... I..."
His voice trembled right as he trailed off, biting his lip as he broke away from their eye-contact again to collect himself. Meanwhile, Yuri found herself momentarily speechless. She didn't realize...
"I hid these feelings, I pushed them aside because there were more important things that took priority, but I was still so sad when you pulled away." Bam smiled at her, more self-deprecating than anything else. "And I still feel sad, despite myself."
"Bam..." Yuri murmured, feeling her heart twist all over again. She remembered, she did sense some hesitation from Bam when she pulled away from him, but she didn't think much of it. Now, though...
"And since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about any of that." Bam explained to her, still with that self-deprecating smile. Yuri wanted to wipe it off his face. "That, and the fact you did it at all."
Yuri gave him a puzzled look. "The fact that I did it at all?"
"The first thing you did, once we were face to face for the first in years, was hug me and tell me to rest." Bam's voice slightly shook then, and Yuri could the vulnerable cracks beginning to grow. "You... you don't understand, Yuri, what it meant for you to- to hear you say..."
He let out a shuddering breath, and Yuri leaned so their shoulders were touching. Her brow furrowed. "I knew then that you needed it, both those things. But now, I can definitely tell that it meant a lot to you."
Knowing what he'd gone through, with the whole mess with the FUG Slayer on top of it all, Yuri can definitely see why.
"It did. No one had ever..." Then Bam paused and he tensed up, as if he realized he said something he didn't mean to let slip.
In an instant, Yuri understood. Just like that, things began to click, and her gaze softened. "No one had ever hugged you?"
Yuri’s not sure why she’s sounding even slightly surprised. It’s not like she’d ever received that much physical affection in her life, aside from her Grandmother's affection. Sure, she remembered her mother giving her hugs, especially when she was a kid. But...
Bam hesitated to answer, pursing his lips so tight that they became a straight line. But then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he said- "No, not... not like you have, at least."
"Not even that fr- former friend of yours? Rachel, right?"
The moment Yuri mentioned, she instantly regretted it as grief flashed across his features. It took a while before he answered. "She... she used to, for a short time, but then she stopped. I still don't know why."
"Oh." Was all Yuri said to that. Though on the outside she's frowning, there's anger bubbling up inside her. What a stupid girl, willingly throwing away someone like this kid next to her.
Yuri only had to meet Bam once for her to decide that he's just worth it.
"So... now you probably understand," Bam spoke up after almost half a minute, giving her an apologetic look. "Even though I still don't, not fully. Why I... I've been acting different around you, I mean. Why my…”
"…Yeah, I think I do." Yuri agreed, calm and thoughtful. In fact, she felt that she's beginning to understand exactly what she needed to do.
She had no idea that the hug she gave him was the first time he’d ever received that kind of comfort from anyone. Or, really, the first time he’d ever gotten a good hug period. And Yuri highly doubted that FUG — those bastards — ever gave him any comfort while blackmailing him to do their bidding.
Well, there’s no way Yuri could have known, but that fact only irked her even more. More importantly, it’s becoming clearer to her now, how much Bam had been… deprived. Furthermore, much he craved.
It was now perfectly plain to see. Yuri saw it in his words when he described how felt, and she realized it in his earlier reactions to her touching him. It all started to paint a picture that Yuri now understood… and one she empathized with.
Knowing all of this, well… there was only ever one response to this discovery in Yuri’s mind.
Meanwhile silence had fallen again, filled only by Bam's slight shifting on the bed.
Eventually, Bam broke the silence again, and he gave her that polite and sheepish smile of his. "Ah... I apologize if I caused you any worry, Yuri. I promise, it won’t—”
Oh, none of that bullshit. She interrupted him. "Bam."
"A-Ah. Yes, Yuri?" Bam questioned, slightly surprised at being cut off.
Yuri looked at him hard in the eyes, and asked him, gently. "...Do you want me to hug you again?"
A beat and another passed before Bam did a massive double take, eyes going wide and mouth falling open. "Do I-- what?"
"I said, do you want me to hug you again?" Yuri repeated, and couldn't resist cracking a smile. "You yourself told me how much it meant to you, and you said that you still feel sad that our hug ended, right? So, want me to hug you?"
"I... Do you want to?" Bam asked her after a moment's hesitation, regarding her with a sort of uncertainty, and something that seemed almost fragile.
"I'm asking you." Yuri said firmly. Though, for her, that answer was already obvious.
Bam opened his mouth, then closed it, and his brows fell in thought as he looked down at the bed. Many different emotions flickered on his expression at once, too many and too quick for Yuri to catch them all. But one shone above all the others... yearning.
And then, Bam released an exhale, his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. He met her gaze, and whispered. "...please."
Yuri's smile softened, and hope and relief swelled in her chest. Well then...
Just like hours earlier, she didn't hesitate. But instead of simply throwing her arms around him like she did before, she decided to use more care this time. So, slowly, gently she wrapped her arms around Bam’s shoulders, pulling him against her.
The instant she touched him, he took in a sharp breath. Bam quickly leaned into her before she could even finish pulling him in. Half of his face pressing against her shoulder. It was a less tight embrace than the last one’s, which was intentional. But that said, she still kept a secure, reassuring hold on him with one hand on his back.
This time, Bam didn’t stay frozen for long. There were only a few seconds where he was like a statue in her arms and then she felt him start to tremble. Then, in a blink, Yuri felt him tightly hugging her back, one of his hands clutching the back of her pink shirt. Yuri thought she felt heart leap then. She's hugging him again, and he's hugging her. Again.
He’s still trembling as he clung to her, his breaths coming in and out heavily, and Yuri seriously wondered if he was about to cry. Not that that was a problem, of course. It was just the two of them here- no one had to know. Besides, she thought, she did tell him to take a break.
But surprisingly, he didn't end up crying. No, Bam just buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in deep while he hugged her even tighter. Honestly, Yuri found that she liked how his tight grip felt. More importantly-
“This good?” Yuri asked after a bit, but she already knew the answer to that.
Bam nodded against her shoulder, giving a little hum. “Mm-hm.”
"Good." Yuri said with satisfaction, and she felt herself smile again. "Because that's the point."
Right as she said that, though, she could've sworn she felt his trembling increase.
"Th-Thank you." She heard Bam get out, his voice lower than a whisper but with something fervent beyond words. "Thank you, Yuri..."
"Shh, you don't need to thank me." Yuri shushed him, her tone growing tender as she reassured him.. "I'm here, you're here. There's no reason to be a tough guy right now, and I want to do this for you, so it's okay."
"Yuri..." She heard his cracked, and Yuri again whispered as she slowly ran her hand up and down his back. Soothing him, comforting him.
"It's okay, kid." She reassured him again, gentle as she knew she to be. "Don't think about anything, just... let it all go. Just for a while."
Bam shivered in response, but his arms only tightened around her. He breathed in, breathed out and eventually, he murmured out his agreement. With that, they fell into a peaceful, even comfortable silence, embracing each other.
Gradually, Bam’s trembling started to case. When it did, she felt him melt into her arms once again, whole body resting against her as Bam's impressively tight grip loosened somewhat. That's good, she thought. There wouldn't be any real point to this if he couldn't relax.
It... really did feel great, hugging him. Feeling him, after years of thinking he was gone before going through all that mess. It was just as good as earlier, but this was different. Here he was, that special and cutie little boy she met on the 1st Floor, in her arms again. Alive. It almost still felt like a distant, but hopeful, dream, and she had quite a few of those.
That's why couldn't be happier that she never stopped believing he was out there. If she'd listened to Evan, listened to 'reason', then she wouldn't be here with this cutie... and understand him better.
...No, Bam likely wouldn't even be here period. All of a sudden, Yuri found herself giving Bam a squeeze, eyes narrowing. Not on her watch. No, never again.
Ack, but... you know, she shouldn't be thinking about those bastards either, Yuri realized. She ought to cherish this too, especially as she knew what Bam's plans were. And oh, she had every intention to just that.
"You're so warm..." She heard Bam mumble on her shoulder.
She felt her lips twitch up in amusement. "Hm, I've heard."
"But it’s true... you're so, so warm..." Bam kept saying, his voice sounding distant and distracted, and it went quieter when he added— “Warmer than Rachel, too...”
Yuri felt a surge of vicious satisfaction, and she was glad he couldn’t see her very pleased smile. “Hmhm~ why, thank you.”
A long moment of silence passed. She felt Bam's grip on her shirt loosen just the slightest bit and his body shift before he spoke again.
"Can I... Is it okay if I move a little bit?" Bam's voice was small, soft, but more than anything else, tinted with hope. "I... I want to do something, I want to feel... more, if it's fine with you."
"Oh?" Yuri cracked a small grin, feeling a slight rush at excitement at the words-- even if it's not like that. "You want more, huh? Sure you can, kid. You can adjust your position if you want."
She heard his sigh of relief, and that fervent emotion from a couple minutes ago came back into his voice. "Th-Thank you."
With that, Yuri relaxed her grip as Bam did the same. Slowly - and from what she could sense, with no small amount of reluctance - pulled back from her to create a bit of space between them, but his hands stayed firmly clasping her shoulders. Somehow, the fact was both endearing and unsurprising to her.
Here, Yuri got a look at Bam's face, and had to fight to keep her heart from bursting there and then. The kid's cheeks were adorably flushed, but in a different way from the embarrassment earlier, as his shoulders rose and fell with his soft breathing. And his eyes, half-lidded as he looked at Yuri in a way that made part of her feel ridiculously giddy. It felt
He looked sleepy, he looked adorable. Too. Adorable. It's taking all she had to not pull him back and squeeze the shinsu out of his lungs.
Bam didn't say a word as he stared at her with his golden eyes, and then, his gaze trailed down-
Then, without warning, he moved in a flash, and Yuri felt the breath almost, almost knocked out of her.
"Wha- Hey!"
It's not often, as in never, that she's caught off-guard like this. if it was, then as a Princess she wouldn't be alive right now. But the thing was, she was so genuinely surprised by Bam's action that she didn't... react. That's how much she'd let down her guard.
After her exclamation, Bam's arms were tightly wrapped around her back again. Only there was one, little, teeny tiny difference. It only sank in as Yuri's head snapped down, and her eyes widened in disbelief.
He...
He...
He just pushed his face in her chest!
Yes, it's just like it sounded. Bam had his arms around her while his face was buried in her chest, right between her breasts. Yuri stared down at him, at this ridiculous, almost comical scene before her, as if waiting for Bam to explain himself.
But only tightened his arms around her and kept pressing his face to her chest. Not a word, nothing. Yuri resisted the urge to puff out her cheeks. So, this was his idea of ‘feeling more’, huh? Well, she sure hadn’t expected it. Did it feel warmer to him like this? Hell, did he even know why people would usually want to do something like this? Yuri found herself seriously doubting it.
So, that could only mean that he’s doing it completely oblivious and innocent to the connotations of such an action. Holy Jahad, Evan would lose his mind if he saw them like this.
Yuri heaved a sigh, half-exasperated and half-fond. After that, a smile beginning to form on her lips. Heh… Even if he's all grown up now, deep down, he's still a kid, wasn't he?
Hm, maybe that's not really a bad thing, Yuri decided as she looked down at Bam, Besides, she thought as her smile grew fonder, it's not like she actually minded this—even if a little warning would’ve been preferable.
She supposed she could let him stay like that for a while...
"You really are still a kid." She remarked as she voiced her thoughts while her right hand lightly rubbed the boy's back.
"I'm not." Bam's voice came out muffled against her clothes, but she could hear the annoyance in it. "I'm not a child."
Feeling like teasing him, Yuri grinned mischievously as she responded. "Oh? But adults don't normally bury their faces in peoples' chests, you know."
Wellll, that could kind of be considered debatable, but she doubted he knew about it. And, well, she had no reason to tell her sweet chestnut that, now, did she?
"I don't care." His tone sounded almost petulant to her ears, and she had to hold back a snort, especially as Bam's arms tightened around her. "I don't- I don't want you to see me as a child."
Yuri's grin broadened. "No?"
"No." Bam agreed, even ungluing his face from her chest to peer up at her. "And I'll prove it to you... by going to the Floor of Death."
...Wha... what?
Are you kidding me?!
Yuri spent a full five seconds gawking down at him in disbelief, then burst out. "You are not going to steal Kaiser's name and go to the Floor of Death just to prove to me that you're a man!"
"I won't be doing it just for that reason, though." Bam told her. Yuri couldn't decide if the genuine innocence in his voice and his eyes made it better or worse.
"It shouldn't be a reason at all, you dummy!" Yuri snapped at him. Honestly, he's starting to sound like Urek— oh fuck, just the idea alone was horrifying. Bad brain, bad brain!
"But... I care about what Yuri thinks of me." Bam murmured in a softer voice, and he lifted his head further to better meet her gaze. Those golden eyes held the same resolve he saw hours ago, that resolve to face his future, and his tone hardened to match it. "And I want to prove myself to you. That I am capable, and that you can believe in me... just like you chose to believe in me all those years ago.”
Yuri’s face was not going warm. It was not. And if anyone said otherwise, she’ll punch them right in the neck. She was trying very, very, VERY hard not to let herself squeal or smile stupidly. Damn it…
This little…
Once again, Yuri let out a long sigh, and this time it was in resignation but still with greater fondness.
“Fine, fine. I’ll allow it.” Yuri grumbled, forcing herself scowl off to the side for the sake of her own pride. Evan must never know of this. Never.
Out of the corner of her eye, he saw Bam give her a grateful smile that, really, had no right to look so genuine. He buried his face back into her chest, and she felt herself when she felt him nuzzling against her.
Heh. Even as she scoffed, Yuri soon found herself smiling down at him again. He really was as determined as ever, wasn’t he?
Well… In the end, she didn’t think she’d have it any other way.
She slowly put her arms around Bam’s back once again, affection warm in her heart. A hand drifted up to touch the back of the boy’s head, to which Bam quietly gasped, her fingers brushing through brown strands and across his scalp. Bam absolutely melted, continuing to rub his face against her shirt.
Regardless of how this messy business with the Hell Train, with FUG, the mission she gave him to get Kaiser’s name and the Floor of Death will end, Yuri’s going to make sure that no one, no one, will get their filthy hands on Bam again.
Yuri will do whatever she can for him, no matter what the risk would be. If she hadn't been certain before, she sure was now.
But that's for the future. In the meantime, she’ll enjoy this break with Bam, for however long it’ll last. And if he ever wanted to do this again, well, how could she refuse this little hottie?
If no one had ever given him the warmth and affection he wholly deserved, then Yuri will happily be the one to start giving it to him.