Chapter Text
The Dining Room of the manor was much too formal for their meal this evening. If they used the table there their seats would be too far away to hear each other. The group ended up settling at the dinner table in the kitchen, where the family usually ate.
Bruce sat at the head of the table with Dick and Jason on either side of him. Tim sat down next to Jason and Damian next to Dick. It had taken some time for the family to figure out the optimal seating arrangement that minimized meal-time stabbings.
That left the other end seat open for Clark. He was somewhat nervous to be sitting next to Damian, hoping he could get through the meal without kryptonite being pointed at him. It wouldn’t be surprising if one of the Birds or the Bat had some, they appeared to be prepared for any situation.
Clark would not admit it to anyone else but the small boy scared him. To be fair, he was an undead vigilante child and was older than he appeared. The more he thought about it, the sadder it was. If the Bird appeared to be about ten now, how old had he been when he’d died? Was it recent? Wanting a distraction from the morbid thoughts, he glanced at Tim.
The little Bird was looking at something in his lap, ignoring everyone at the table. Clark gave in to his temptation and cheated. He used his X-ray vision and peeked at what had Tim so enamored. In his lap was some sort of mechanical gizmo. He didn’t really have enough engineering knowledge to know exactly what it was.
“What have you got there?” He asked Magpie quietly. He didn’t want to draw attention to the boy, sensing it would only stress him out. Tim looked over at him with wide eyes. Clark felt like his soul was being judged by the black voids. Trying to act like it wasn’t off-putting he smiled sincerely at the Bird.
“For B” he rasped quietly. Clark was somehow creeped out by this child while also wanting to pick him up and squeeze him from pure adorableness.
“Oh? What’s it do?”
“Track him.” Clark had thought ‘For B’ meant a gift. Apparently, it meant a secret surveillance device. Creepy and adorable.
“It’s kind of big, isn’t it? Won’t he notice it if it’s on him?”
“No. The oth-er piece on B now. This says where.” He wondered if Batman knew he was already being tracked by his 13-year-old kid. The way Tim kept glancing at his father during the conversation made Clark think the answer to that was ‘no’.
“That’s pretty neat. I’m not super good with technology. Can you show me how it works?” Usually asking kids to show him their stuff worked, hopefully, zombie kids weren’t any different. To Clark’s relief, Tim lit up a bit and showed him the contraption until Alfred entered the room with dinner. He still didn’t understand it that well.
“Green plates are vegetarian. Need I remind you not to use claws? If I see any scratches on my plates there will be hell to pay.” Apparently, that was a recurring issue if Alfred had to mention it. Tim in particular slouched in his seat. Everything this family did amused Clark to no end.
Everyone began to dig in. The food was amazing, it could almost rival Ma’s a very high compliment in Clark’s books. Silverware and plates clattering was the only sound for some minutes while everyone ate, somewhat frantically. He could see why scratches would be an issue with the way the family was eating.
The quiet was interrupted by Dick, who was already over halfway done with his first plate. “What is League like?”
Clark smiled after taking another bite. “Like a group of friends that are coworkers that regularly fight. Almost like a second family, I suppose.” He hadn’t actually ever thought of it that way before, but saying it felt right. They hadn’t been together for a long time, but he could easily see them all meaning much more to each other as time went on.
“Second?” Bruce asked. “Who first?” Right, the world thought Superman was an alien from Krypton. Which he was, but they didn’t know about the Kents. It was safer that way. Clark inexplicably felt he could trust the Bat and Birds, though.
“The story for the media isn’t the full truth. I am a Kryptonian, but I landed on Earth as a baby, not recently. I was raised by my family on a farm in Kansas. I’m more Clark Kent than I am Superman.”
“What on farm?” It was the first time Damian had really talked to him yet. It was a weird detail to ask given the whole explanation, he’d think being an alien or having a secret family would be more interesting. Clark wasn’t going to question it though. Not if he had the possibility of earning the smallest Bird’s approval.
“The plants are usually corn and soy. We have some chickens and ducks, but mostly cows.” Robin lit up a bit at that, clearly trying to not act excited. He must really like animals. Clark supposed that all made sense given the stuffed animals and questions. Now that he thought about it Damian had only eaten from the green plates, not to mention the Bird had actually deigned to talk to him.
“Can see? Like cows.” He had turned to his father now to ask.
“Far. Other time if Clark a-llows.” Damian seemed to expect the answer.
“Ma would love to have you. She enjoys it when I bring people, says she doesn’t get to cook big meals enough now that it’s just her and Pa. I think she just likes seeing I have friends, cause I eat dinner with them at least once a week.”
“Yes!” Dick says “Go to Kansas!”
“You just want flying again.” Jason kicked his shin. The action started a mini battle beneath the table.
“No knives!” Bruce had to grab the utensil out of Jason‘s hand before someone could be stabbed. Clark laughed at the elder Birds’ shenanigans as the Bat silently begged him to jot encourage the teenagers. Dinner continued in much of the same way for another 45 minutes before everyone had gotten enough to eat.
Clark considered it a great success that he had only been hissed at by Damian two times since the Bird had found out about the farm. He’d also gotten Tim to say 4 more sentences. On top of that, no Kryptonite had made an appearance! Clark was pretty proud of himself.
The Bat’s father had ushered the group to a sitting room off the main hallway, telling them to play some games before morning. Before leaving them to it, the man uttered a quick
“And if I find any more broken heirlooms in this manor, you will all be cleaning every room, top to bottom, instead of patrol tomorrow.”
The family took the threat seriously and decided that since there weren’t any throwable game pieces, UNO was the best choice for a game. The group ignored that they were skilled enough to cause damage by throwing the cards.
“Red” Jason called the color as he put down a +4 card. Dick stuck his tongue out at him and pouted as he grabbed four more cards from the deck.
“You don’t have red, cretin, you just did because of Cardinal!” Damian shouted.
“What gonna do Baby Bat? Stab me?” Clark feared the youngest Bird was going to when Robin pulled a katana out. “Dare you, demon.” Jason bared his fangs at his little brother. Damian retaliated by throwing his cards down and launching himself across the circle.
As the Bat and Nightingale tried separating the two boys, Clark looked over at Tim. The Bird was in the middle of taking advantage of the fight by switching out some of his own cards with Damian’s. Magpie gave him an innocent look when he realized he was being watched, but still switched the cards to his advantage. Clark winked at him, not about to give up the small Bird’s secret.
“It seems like this happens a lot.”
“Every time we play,” Tim said with no inflection. This pulled a chuckle from Clark, who turned back to see how the brawl was going. Bruce was behind Jason, arms around his chest to hold him back. Dick was in a similar position with Damian but was struggling a bit more. The Bird’s small stature worked as an advantage as he squirmed out of his older brother’s grasp.
Clark looked back to Bruce and made eye contact. The Bat’s eyes may not have any color in them, but he could still read the man’s expression clearly. It screamed Please help . Something about the terrifying and mysterious Bat being defeated by his sons‘ fighting made Clark lose it. He burst out with laughter, only causing Bruce to despair more, obviously not about to receive any help from the super.
Superman floated on his back as he laughed, holding his stomach. It was good he didn’t need to breathe because he’d be struggling if he did. The laughing spread through the room until the fighting had stopped and everyone had joined in. The group fell into a puddle on the floor, the card game forgotten.
It wasn’t long before the boys were back up running through the room, while Clark and Bruce stayed down.
“You definitely have your hands full.” A grumbling agreement was the only answer. Clark felt like he was getting better at reading the responses from the Bat. Was it possible for him to learn the Bat-Bird language? That may be a fun challenge when he has some free time. Though, balancing his reporting job and Superman already took up more than enough of his time.
Clark's thoughts were interrupted by a sound. It was almost like something vibrating? He looked over to Bruce before realizing it was the Bat. He was purring. The others must have heard because they soon began climbing over the two adults.
It must have been closer to dawn than anyone had realized because the Birds had finally slowed down. A big yawn came from Jason as he snuggled under his father’s arm. Clark let out an Oof as Dick landed across his stomach and Tim curled between the super and the Bat. Damian ended up curled up on Bruce's chest.
Everyone began to doze and Clark wondered how he'd ever been scared of this family. He smiled at the Birds surrounding him. If he curled a bit closer to the Bat, no one was awake enough to notice.