Chapter Text
Sleepover
Yeonjun was holding onto his shirt, whining as he begged him not to go. He patted his head, promising him he’d be back tomorrow, trying his best to soothe his little brother.
“Why can’t I come with you? I’ll be good, I won’t bother you and Jaehyuk.” Yeonjun weeped.
“Another time, Junie. We planned to watch scary movies and you’re too young.”
“I can do something else, I promise I won’t watch.” His brother said tearfully. He looked up at him with big puppy eyes, his chin resting on his stomach, as he pouted his lower lip.
“Next time, I promise.”
“Come on, Yeonjun, let your brother go. He can’t make his friend wait.” Their grandma intervened to free Yeonoh from his grasp.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, so be good to grandma, ok?” He told Yeonjun who had a single tear rolling down his face.
“Ok …” He said sadly.
“Go now.” His grandma smiled at him. “I put some kimchi in a container for them, so take it with you. And say hello to them, for us.”
“I will.” Yeonoh said.
“Have fun.”
“Bye!” He waved at them with his free hand.
As he closed the door he could hear Yeonjun whine. “How am I going to sleep without hyung?”
The words were like a knife straight to his heart. The two of them were used to sleeping together. Neither of them had ever gone on a school trip, since they couldn’t afford it, and so they had never slept separately. Even when he was a baby, they slept together with their mother. And when she was too tired to feed him, Yeonoh would be the one giving him his bottle.
Yeonjun had been the one crying, but Yeonoh was having a hard time too. He was anxious thinking his brother would sleep alone and no one would be next to him to comfort him if he had a bad dream or got sick.
Their grandma was there but she slept in another room, as for their father, he was not exactly reliable. He’d made an effort to not get fired from his job, but aside from that, he still got home piss out drunk, after going out to gamble with the money he should have used on groceries. How he wasn’t embarrassed that it was the neighbour that fed his sons, Yeonoh had no idea.
He sighed, each step he took felt heavier the furthest he was from his brother. It was so silly, their house wasn’t even fifty metres away, and his grandma was there with Yeonjun. Everything would be fine.
He tried to shake the unpleasant thought away as he reached Jaehyuk’s doorstep. But as he did so, other negative thoughts took over.
This was his first time sleeping over at someone else’s house. And it was his boyfriend’s place, no less. Tonight they would be sharing a bedroom, and Yeonoh wasn’t sure what was expected of him exactly. Before he could sink further into anxiety, he rang the doorbell. Forcing his brain to change focus.
He could hear Jaehyuk yell to his mom, from inside, that he was getting the door. His heart skipped a beat, as blood rushed to his face.
A smiling Jaehyuk opened the door.
“Hey. I was waiting for you.” He smiled.
“My grandma made kimchi for you and your mom!” He pushed the containers to his chest, looking anywhere but his face.
They had been dating for some time now and spent a lot of time making out, as couples do. But whenever Jaehyuk would look at him like he was the most precious thing in the world, he would feel his mind and body simultaneously melt and combust.
“That’s so nice of her.” Jaehyuk took the containers from his hands, grazing his hands softly as he did so. “She explained at least three times to my mother how to make it, but she still can’t get the gist of it.”
“But aside from that, she cooks very well.” Yeonoh said, cheeks flushed. Even if he appreciated Jaehyuk and his mom sharing their meals with them, he still felt embarrassed about it. And even if she didn’t make it very well, at least she was trying her best to make good meals for her son.
“She made your favourite today, by the way.”
“Really?” He asked, a smile growing on his lips. “How did she know what it was?”
“Oh well,...” Jaehyuk scratched his neck. “You mentioned it before, and I happened to remember it, so…”
Yeonoh could never get enough of seeing the cool and charismatic Jaehyuk, being shy, even if just a little bit. He stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips really close to Jaehyuk’s ear. To anyone seeing them, this would look like he was giving him a kiss.
“Thank you for remembering.” He whispered playfully. Jaehyuk glanced at him and smiled, cheeks a shade darker than a moment before.
“ Let’s go, mom is waiting for us.”
Yeonoh really liked Jaehyuk’s mom, she was soft spoken, nice and always welcomed him and his family with open arms. And he would never admit it to anyone, ever, but her lavender perfume smelled just like the one his mother used to wear. It brought back memories of her holding him in her arms as she sang him to sleep. It was weird, but lately, a lot of the nice memories he shared with his mom, were coming back to him.
And as everything that concerned her, it left him confused. On one hand, they were fond memories, but on the other, it made it hurt even more that she had left.
“ Yeonjun never really got to experience those things… ” And the thought made him feel guilty, It wasn’t fair that his little brother hadn’t known her.
“Are you okay?” Jaehyuk asked him.
They were sitting on the floor in his bedroom, about to watch a horror movie.
Yeonoh hadn’t realised he was spacing out, plagued by thoughts of worry about his little brother.
“Sorry, it’s probably the digestion.” He half-heartedly laughed.
“You were like that before eating too, though.” Jaehyuk pointed out. “Are you not feeling well? Do you want to go home?”
Yeonoh felt a lump rise in his throat as he failed to find his words. He fought back his tears, unable to tell why he was getting so emotional.
A sob managed to escape his lips despite himself, and the tears soon followed. He was enveloped in two strong arms almost right away, and the sweet scent of Jaehyuk’s laundry detergent tickled his nose. It smelled so cosy. He took a deep breath, then another until the tears calmed down.
He felt ashamed to be crying at a sleepover like he was a five year old. He was almost an adult, this was extremely embarrassing. And what if it pissed Jaehyuk off and he wanted to break up? He had probably invited him over today, expecting something more “intimate” to happen between them. But instead of having a good time, he now had snot plastered all over his shirt.
“I don’t think i’m ready…” He bit his lip. “Will he be mad? I shouldn’t have accepted the invitation If I couldn’t do it.”
“What the hell are you blabbering on about?” Jaehyuk said as he pulled away from the hug to grab his face and make him look at him.
Yeonoh felt his stomach drop when he realised he had thought out loud.
“Did you really think I invited you over just for that?” Jaehyuk asked, looking hurt.
“No, I… I don’t know.” Yeonoh said, voice cracking.
“Well, I didn’t.” Jaehyuk said. “I mean, I wouldn’t be against it if anything were to happen but that was not the point. I just wanted to spend time with you.” He added, cheeks flushed. Yeonoh’s own face had grown ten shades darker as he listened to him.
“I’m not sure about it yet, but I want to… eventually.” He said, looking away.
Jaehyuk nodded and there was an awkward silence.
“Is that why you were crying?” Jaehyuk asked after a while, as he pulled Yeonoh into his lap.
Yeonoh shook his head before burying it in his shoulder. Jaehyuk was so perceptive when it came to him, he could read him like an open book. It was as endearing as it was annoying.
“It wasn’t that.” He mumbled.
“Then what was it?” Jaehyuk asked softly as he rubbed his back.
“It’s the first time that I sleep over at someone else’s house and…” He took a break, looking for the best way to put it. “I’m worried that my brother will be alone tonight.”
He felt incredibly stupid, now that he was hearing himself say it out loud, but Jaehyuk did not say anything, he didn’t sneer or mock him. He continued to stroke his back.
“Your brother and you are really close, aren’t you?”
“He’s my everything.” He replied, and his eyes filled with tears once more. Jaehyuk kissed the top of his head, sensing his distress.
“Do you want to go home?”
But he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay and have fun with Jaehyuk. He just felt guilty about it.
“I want to stay with you.” He said, grabbing the back of Jaehyuk’s shirt.
“Alright, I’m glad.” He chuckled, squeezing him in his arms. “Do you want to call your brother then? You can wish him goodnight, maybe that'll help. And if you’re really worried, I’ll walk you home, even if it’s the middle of the night.”
Yeonoh looked up and his gaze immediately met soft eyes that were looking tenderly at him. Words couldn’t express how touched he was that he understood his situation. That was why he had fallen in love with him, in the first place. Jaehyuk had never judged or pitied him, he had just offered a helping hand when he could and a listening ear when needed.
“I think calling is a good idea.”
“Let’s use the landline downstairs.”
His boyfriend led him downstairs with an arm around his shoulders. They passed his mother who was watching tv in the living room and Yeonoh glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already half past eight in the evening. Yeonjun was supposed to be asleep by now, but he knew it wouldn’t be the case. He composed his home number and there was only one tone before it was picked up.
“Big brother?” Came his brother's squeaky voice. He sounded so tired and yet he was still up, Yeonoh felt a big wave of affection rise in his chest. No words were enough to describe the love he had for him.
“That’s not how you’re supposed to answer. What if it’s not me?” He teased his brother with a chuckle.
“I don’t care about other people, if it’s not you I'll just hang up.”
He couldn’t see him but Yeonoh could tell his brother was pouting.
“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” He asked gently.
“I was worried about you, so I stayed up just in case.”
“I’m doing fine, don’t worry. If you have a nightmare or get sick, go get grandma, ok?”
“I’m not a kid, I don’t have nightmares.” His brother sighed.
“Nightmares don’t care about age.” He chuckled, waiting a moment before continuing. “I was worried about you too, but I guess I shouldn't have.”
“No you shouldn’t, I'm fine.” There was a silence and he could feel his brother was hesitating. “Did you have fun with Jaehyuk and his mom?”
“I did! We were just about to watch a horror movie but I wanted to wish you goodnight before.”
“I wanted to wish you a goodnight too.”
“Alright, then have sweet dreams Yeonjun.”
“You too.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Ok. Bye.”
“Bye.”
He hung up the phone and took a deep breath. It’d be a lie to say he was totally reassured but it had helped him relax for the most part.
“ It’s good for the both of us to learn to be apart. ” He told himself. “ It’ll be easier for him to go on school trips and sleep over at friends’ houses, that way .”
Jaehyuk waited for him to signal it was all good before they went back to his room. Once the door was closed, his boyfriend walked up to him and trapped him in his arms. Yeonoh immediately leaned into the embrace, inhaling the cosy and familiar scent as they cuddled. They stayed like this for a little while, swaying ever so slightly from side to side like Jaehyuk was rocking him.
“Do you feel better?” He asked him softly.
“Yeah.” He replied, holding him tighter. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Of course.”
A shiver went down Yeonoh’s spine when long fingers started caressing his nape. He closed his eyes, lost in the moment. If this continued he would fall asleep right there, in Jaehyuk’s arms.
“Yeonoh?” Jaehyuk called him with a chuckle. “I can feel you getting heavier.”
“I’m sleepy…” He hummed softly.
“Wanna go to bed?”
“I wanna watch the movie.” He mumbled.
“If you say so.” He laughed.
Yeonoh sat down on the covers, they had laid down on the floor while Jaehyuk put the movie on. He had to focus hard not to fall asleep, but once Jaehyuk joined him on the covers, and pulled him against him, it was all in vain. The warm arm around his shoulders and the beating heart he was resting against, quickly got the best of him.
When he came to his senses, the girl in the movie was screaming, his neck was sore and his cheek was damp. He wiped it, confused. It wasn’t until he glanced at Jaehyuk and saw the wet patch on his shirt that he understood.
“You drooled on me.” Jaehyuk pointed out with a smirk.
“Don’t make fun of me!” He whined, face red. This had to be the worst thing ever. He couldn’t believe he was making a fool of himself in front of him.
He tried to pull away but Jaehyuk was quicker. He grabbed him and tackled him down, kissing his neck loudly. Yeonoh never knew kisses could be so ticklish, he was laughing so hard his sides were hurting.
“S-stop!” He begged, between two fits of giggles.
“Nah, never.” Jaehyuk chuckled. “You’re too cute, when you laugh.”
“I’m tired.” He tried to convince him but Jaehyuk did not relent until he had tears of laughter tolling down his cheeks.
“I like it better when you're happy.” He told him before kissing his forehead.
“I am when i’m with you.” He admitted shyly.
“That makes two of us, then.” Jaehyuk smiled.
If someone asked him what the movie was about, Yeonoh would be unable to answer. But he could tell you about the way the tiny light on Jaehyuk’s desk reflected in his blue eyes. Or how his voice sounded like music to his ears.