Chapter Text
Bonnet had politely waved him in and Izzy had walked into the cabin more confused than he had ever been before. Besides having just noticed the now painfully obvious similarities between Lestat and Bonnet, his mind was still reeling from Sprigg’s stupid words.
Because it was just a stupid idea, clearly, Bonnet being jealous? He was annoyed, that much was obvious, but that must be all. Izzy just had to discover what exactly had bothered the captain and then try to fix it before it could mess their relationship even more.
Bonnet was his captain now, but surely he didn’t expect to have a say in the first mate’s dalliances. Not even Edward had- no, better not go there, Izzy thought, because the truth was that Edward had never been bothered by who Izzy spent the night with because he had never cared. It was surprising and silly that this thought could hurt him, even after everything-
“…Izzy?”
Bonnet’s voice startled him and Izzy realized the captain had been talking to him, but he had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to hear a thing.
“I was saying if you would want to have some tea with me,” Bonnet repeated with a soft smile that faltered when Izzy simply stared at him without answering. “Unless you’ve already had breakfast, of course,” he added then, looking slightly uncomfortable. “And I know you’d probably prefer a cup of coffee anyway, tea is probably not your thing-“
“It’s fine,” Izzy finally found himself saying. “Tea is fine. Thank you.”
Bonnet nodded, smiling lightly again and poured two cups of tea and Izzy sat there at the table, looking at his cup while thinking how the hell he was going to start that conversation when Bonnet cleared his throat and squared his shoulders as he looked straight at him.
“I wanted to apologize, Izzy,” he started, seriously. “I’ve been rude to you for no good reason and I was bringing the mood down when this shore leave was supposed to be a good time for everybody.”
Izzy stared wide-eyed at him, not used to a captain apologizing, especially for something as trivial as this, but before he could open his mouth to reply, Bonnet continued.
“I’m glad that-that you found somebody- well,… it looked like that man at the tavern was… nice,” he added, looking as if uttering those words was actually painful to him. “We’re still going to be here for two more days, maybe you could invite him here to have some drinks and meet the crew…”
“I don’t even know where he’s now, Bonnet,” Izzy replied flatly. “And I don’t care.”
The way Bonnet tried and failed to hide his relief almost made Izzy laugh out loud, but even as tired as he was after a sleepless night, Izzy had a reputation to uphold so he resisted the urge to even smile while he tried not to think about how Bonnet’s reaction had warmed him inside.
“We said goodbye, I don’t expect to see him again. He was just… some guy,” Izzy added after a pause, not really knowing why he felt the need to explain himself now. “I just felt lonely, I guess. And he was good company for a night.”
Bonnet’s face softened and he nodded in understanding with a sad, little smile, but then he turned serious once again.
“I guess I must be honest, Izzy. I was a bit upset last night when you left the tavern because…”
Bonnet hesitated then, looking slightly embarrassed and Izzy’s heart started thrumming in his chest wildly.
“I was worried that you weren’t going to come back,” Bonnet finally said, lowering his gaze. “I think deep down I’ve always been worried that one day you’re going to leave us for another ship, for a better crew,… for a better captain.”
Izzy gaped at him, bewildered. He hadn’t seen that coming at all.
“That’s-that’s absurd,” he blurted out, making Bonnet flinch. “I mean… leaving without a proper resignation would be totally unprofessional,” he added quite lamely.
“Well, actually, I never officially asked you to be my first mate,” Bonnet replied with a playful smirk.
That was true, Izzy realized in dismay. After Edward left he had simply kept going as usual, doing the first mate’s tasks, training Bonnet and the crew, but nobody had really asked him to be the first mate. What if they had simply let him stay out of pity? Why would they have chosen him anyway? It was not as if Oluwande couldn’t do the job, or Jim, maybe. What if he was just… tolerated on board as some old ratter dogs are because they are still useful?
Izzy’s tired mind was starting to panic, but then Bonnet, who must have noticed his inner turmoil, reached for Izzy’s ungloved hand over the table, stopping all his thoughts from spiraling any further.
“But that’s a mistake I’d like to fix right now,” Bonnet said determinedly as he squeezed Izzy’s hand briefly. “Would you want to be my first mate, Israel Hands? It would mean a lot to me if you said yes. And to the crew, it would mean a lot to all of us,” he added quickly.
Izzy stared at Bonnet’s kind eyes and wished he was better with words in situations like this. He was going to have to try, he guessed.
“Yes,” he said firmly and then he squeezed Bonnet’s hand tightly.
Bonnet’s smile was blinding.
“And you don’t have to worry about me leaving,” he added, forcing himself to be brave. “This is a good crew and you… you’re a good captain, Stede.”
The look on the captain’s eyes, so soft and so caring, was almost too much for Izzy so he lowered his gaze to look at their intertwined hands instead.
“The tea must be getting cold,” Stede said lightly, after a few seconds of silence. “We shouldn’t let it spoil after Roach took the time to make it for us.”
And he started drinking it without letting go of Izzy’s hand. The first mate hesitated for only a moment and then took his cup with his free hand to take a sip while he tried to hide a smile.
The tea was awfully bland, of course, but Izzy couldn’t care less.