Chapter Text
Arthur blinked. Merlin had magic. Of course, that was the reason he had always been so weird when it was brought up. And oh god, Merlin must have been terrified that Arthur’s father was going to execute him. Was that what Merlin thought of him now? But Merlin knew Arthur, they had been friends for the better part of 5 years! He has to know Arthur would never send his friend to the gallows for something as simple as being born with magic right? From the shaking in Merlin’s shoulders and the worry drawing lines in his face, he realized Merlin probably didn't know. That thought broke something in Arthur.
“Hey, that's alright, I trust you not to cause me any harm.”
Merlin looked at him, surprise taking over the expression on his face. The tension in his posture was still very much present.
“from all those years of insisting you were protecting my sorry arse it would make very little sense for you to turn around and hurt me.”
Arthur sat back on his heels, trying to look as relaxed as he could. He knew that Merlin had just told him his largest, and most dangerous secret, one he had been keeping his entire life. And he had not trusted Arthur with it until it had been forced out of him in a life or death scenario. Arthur hid the pain he felt under carefully constructed shields. He understood the toll that kind of secret took on a person. Realistically, he was the last person any magic user would willingly reveal themselves to. Still, it hurt that his best friend had not trusted him enough to say anything. He took a moment to curse his decision to let others believe he supported his father.
Merlin was still sitting with his arms tucked around his knees, eyeing Arthur wearily as if he was still expecting him to draw his sword. Arthur stood slowly, stretching carefully, testing the newly healed skin on his torso. He shivered as a breeze caught his bare arms.
“ So,” he said, still trying to sound as calm as he could. “Where exactly are we?”
He looked across the gray water of the lake, spotting a small island at the center. It looked familiar but he couldn't place it. He turned back around to the sound of Merlin tossing dirt and sand on the small fire.
“We are a day’s walk from Camelot, it’s still early, if we start now we should be back by dark.”
Merlin wouldn’t meet his gaze as he packed up the small amount of items they had. He wordlessly held up his chainmail shirt and belt with a question in his eyes. The metal on the left side was stained red.
“The other armor made you too heavy to carry, I had to leave it behind.”
Arthur was momentarily stunned by the image of Merlin carrying him through the forest. Magic probably assisted him somewhat but Arthur would not be surprised if Merlin hid muscles under those loose tunics. With all the manual labor being a servant, Merlin could probably lift Arthur easily. He felt a flush rise in his neck and ears. He looked again at the remains of his armor that Merlin was holding. He shivered looking at the red patch, the phantom feeling of the blade piercing his stomach causing him to feel nauseous. He shook his head.
“Just leave it, it would just slow us down anyway.”
Neither of them commented on how untrue that statement was.
Merlin led the way towards Camelot. Arthur followed behind him, the path through this part of the forest was not wide enough to allow them to walk side by side.
The trees were bare of leaves and the ground was cold and hard with frost. Usually it didn’t snow in Camelot, their lands were too far south to get anything more than frost. However, this winter had been particularly cold.
Arthur shivered. He rubbed his bare arms wishing he still had his heavy fur cloak. He was grateful to still have his lined leather riding pants and boots, but his arms were covered in raised goosebumps.
He watched Merlin navigating the path in front of him. There were still lines of tension in his shoulders and his hands fidgeted at his sides. The silence was heavy, filled with unsaid words and uncertainty. Arthur felt almost as if a force was preventing him from breaking the silence.
Suddenly the path opened up to a wider, more traveled track. The ground was smoother, leveled by the hooves and wagon wheels of travelers. They fell into step side-by-side and Arthur took a moment to glance at Merlin’s face. His brows were still furrowed and his eyes darted around, looking at the underbrush and scanning the sides of the road. Arthur recognized the habit. He trained the Knights to be constantly scanning their surroundings for anything amiss. To scan for bandits. For sorcery. He had missed the fact Merlin had picked up this tactic as well.
Every once in a while Merlin’s revolving gaze landed on Arthur, both assessing that he was still there and unharmed, and making sure he was also not a threat. This realization jarred Arthur a little and he felt more pressed to break the silence that surrounded them like a blanket. He took a breath.
“You know,” he tried to establish a light conversational tone, as if he were discussing the weather. “I’m actually working on getting rid of some of my fathers unjust laws.”
This got Merlin’s attention.
“He was so close minded, especially towards the end. Blinded by grief I think.”
Arthur was looking at the path ahead, but he could feel Merlin’s wide-eyed stare.
“Did you know there used to be the position of court sorcerer? He used to be one of the kings’ closest advisors. I think technically that was Gaius during my fathers rule. He just changed the job title.” Arthur steeled himself for his next words. “I think, once I lift the ban on magic, I’d like you to fill that role. If you're willing.”
He let the question hang in the air for a moment, the silence settling once more.
“I-“ Merlin’s voice broke. He coughed and tried again. “Are you sure? I mean I-“
“Merlin” Arthur stopped and turned toward him. He resisted the urge to reach out.
“There’s no one else I would rather have.”
Arthur blamed the redness in his face on the cold.
Arthur turned back towards the path and started moving again. It took Merlin a moment, but he caught up and was once again walking next to Arthur. He shivered and rubbed his frozen hands together trying to create some warmth.
Attempting to lighten the tone once again, and steer away from the uncomfortable silence of before, he spoke.
“With all that magic there isn't something you could do about this cold, is there?”
Merlin’s posture was a lot more relaxed now, but still flinched at the word ‘magic.’
“You’re really not upset? I mean I thought for sure you-”
Arthur sighed loudly, “Really Merlin, I care less about you practicing magic and more that you felt you could’t confide in me, I mean you must know I-” He cleared his throat as it caught on his next words. “I consider you one of my closest friends, I wouldn’t send you to the pyre for anything, regardless of what my father thought.”
Merlin hummed. Then said quietly, “I didn’t want to make you have to choose. Between me and him. You didn’t deserve to be put in that position for something that was not your fault.”
Merlin laughed bitterly. “And who would choose a servant over the king and their own father ?”
“I would have.”
Merlin looked at him, stunned. Arthur continued to stare at the path ahead, trying hard not to think about the heat in his face. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, and his stomach was in knots. What was wrong with him?
The rest of the trek back to the castle was quiet but there was significantly less tension in the air than there was before. Arthur spent the time thinking about how quickly he could repeal the ban on magic, now having even more of a motivation to get it done.
When they arrived back, the Knights gathered around, looking a bit battered but relieved. Somehow in the commotion Merlin slipped away, and Arthur let him, drawing more attention to himself so the others would not question the absence. Merlin deserved some processing time on his own, and Arthur had some new laws to draft up.
When Arthur got back to his chambers, he immediately shrugged on some warmer clothes, including a red, rabbit fur-lined jacket. It was one of his favorites, and several years ago had given a similar one to Merlin. He had seen him wearing it at a couple of ceremonies and Arthur always felt his face heat at the sight of Merlin in his jacket. He spent a moment staring at his wardrobe, picturing a rich blue fabric, golden accents that matched Merlin’s eyes. A shining circlet atop his dark hair. A ring, inlaid with the pendragon crest.
Arthur shook himself out of the daydream, no matter how many times he pictured Merlin next to him when he thought of marriage, it could never be. He had yet to marry for a treaty but he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, and of course there was the matter of an heir.
He sighed heavily as he sat in the large wooden chair at his desk. Best not to dwell on the impossible. He brought a clean sheet of paper toward him and dipped his pen in the small well of ink such a deep shade of blue it was almost black. He would give his proposal to the council tomorrow, informing them of his recovery due to magic and his intent to offer refuge to the Druids. He knew whatever material goods he could offer the people would not even begin to repair the damage made by his father in the purge but it was a start.
__
It was two weeks until the Winter Solstice, which meant the whole castle was bustling with preparations for the banquet. Arthur had spent a month getting the restriction on magic abolished and sending out the proclamation of its legality across the kingdom.
He sent out an invitation to the Druids to send some representatives to the Winter Solstice banquet to sign a treaty detailing their new territories, amenities like food and tools, and a non-discriminatory act. They had agreed to the terms and would be sending their high council of elders to witness the signing. There had also been rumors of the possibility that Emrys, the most powerful warlock to ever live, might attend.
While the Druids were nomads and did not consider their territories to be anything equivalent to the hard borders of any other kingdom, their people did technically have a ruling council, and recognized this…Emrys to be their sovereign. Although he’s a legend, he is still technically royalty. It was safe to say Arthur was nervous and a little thrilled at the possibility of him showing up to the banquet. Some even said he was immortal.
He was mulling all of this over at his desk when Merlin barged through the door carrying what looked like a mountain of fabric. Rich reds and blues spilled around his arms as he heaved it onto the bed.
If Arthur had been doing anything important he might have berated Merlin for being so loud, if he had been particularly …pent up, he might have been distracted by the man himself, as it was now the dead of the winter and Merlin was wearing one of the jackets Arthur had given him. (Not the lovely red one unfortunately but it still was more tailored and fitted then Merlin's other clothes) It was in fact the fabric bundle that caught his attention. It was all of the garments he was going to wear at the banquet, red, gold, blue, and silver swirled together in a fascinating tangle of textures.
He stood from his desk and moved toward the bed. He stopped and grabbed one of the garments.
“I sent for this weeks ago! Oh it's incredible.”
He held up his tunic, a combination of dyed red leather and velvet creating the silhouette of a king while still maintaining the image of the best swordsman in the kingdom. Regal, yet it contains motifs seen in his battle armor and shared crests with his Knights. A golden dragon embroidered above the heart representing his namesake. It was beautiful craftsmanship. It paired with a single shoulder cloak, lined with the softest rabbit fur. Dark maroon trousers with gold stitching creating swirls and stars down the outside of the leg. A sword was embroidered where his sheath would have hung against his left leg.
He looked over to where Merlin was standing on the other side of the bed and saw his confused look at the remaining pile of fabrics.
“Are you alright Merlin?”
He looks up at Arthur, holding a second pair of trousers, these ones a dark blue velvet, soft and lined.
“Who are these for?”
“They’re for you! what, do you think I’d have you waltzing around at the most important banquet of the century in those rags?”
Merlin paused, raising an eyebrow in a way that would have made Gaius proud.
“Excuse you, I seem to remember you giving me these ‘rags’, are you calling your own wardrobe unworthy?”
Arthur had sent patterns to the tailor for the specific outfit Merlin had on, it had been made specifically for him and had never once been in Arthur’s closet. That didn’t mean Arthur had told him this fact, he may or may not have led Merlin to believe they were clothes he had packed away because they no longer fit.
“They were perfectly good clothes three years ago when I gave them to you but now they have holes! Holes Merlin! You can't wear something with holes to a royal banquet!”
“If your shirts didn’t have any holes you wouldn’t be able to get your thick head into them!”
Merlin danced out of reach as Arthur reached over to swat at him playfully. They laughed, the instances of light banter they had once shared years ago constantly now seemed few and far between with all the stress of the battles and discourse they had faced in the recent months.
These moments of lightness and teasing had increased in the past weeks. Arthur could see that a weight Merlin had been carrying for a long time had lifted from his shoulders. His laughter was more unrestrained and he was more likely to stay in Arthur’s rooms after he finished his chores, idly reading a book by the fire or sewing another patch onto a pair of his trousers. Arthur savored all these moments, desperate for company, but unable to ask.
The life as a king was a lonely one but he could easily see that Merlin was reversing that fact. He felt it hard to believe he could be this compatible with anyone else. It was like someone had gone and carved two pieces of a puzzle, different, yet able to fit together to complete the picture.
“So these are actually for me?”
“No they are for the old kitchen maid, of course they are for you…. who else?”
“I dunno…”
Merlin trailed off as he held up the tunic for the first time. It was breathtaking. The shoulders were covered in the same dark midnight velvet as the trousers, but they were embroidered with large celestial designs, silver thread creating the rays of the moonbeams across the tops of the shoulders. The body was made from a lighter blue, with silver buttons trailing down in two even lines. The fabric seemed to be dyed in a gentle gradient, darker at the bottom and lighter at the top. There was a high collar, but not enough to choke the wearer, and one one shoulder a clasp and small silver chain to hold the cloak in place. It was complementary to the one Arthur had, with the same soft lining. It paired with a light blue undershirt that was just as soft.
Two weeks suddenly seemed so far away. Arthur almost salivated at the image his mind conjured of Merlin in this work of art, standing next to him as he made his opening speech. In his mind he pictured the circlet and ring he knew would not be present, but oh how he wished it could be. He made a mental note to contact the blacksmith. He was the king, if he wanted twin rings to be made, another with his house crest, and maybe a silver circlet, no one could stop him.
Merlin looked back up at him, the reality setting in that he would be wearing these.
“Really there would be no need for me to wear anything this fancy-”
“Merlin,” Arthur cut him off. “Did you really forget about the position of court sorcerer? As a member of the court you would be expected to be in formalwear, or armor but you are not a knight.” And you are my closest friend, I want you to always be in the finest he did not say. He felt his ears tinge pink.
“You were really serious about that,” Merlin looks down at his hands. “I half thought you were joking.”
Arthur set down his clothes on the bed. He reached over and put one of his hands on Merlin's shoulder, prompting him to look at Arthur. When had they gotten so close? Arthur could count the freckles dotting Merlin’s nose, his mouth was quirked up in a way that made it look like he had just gotten away with a prank successfully.
“I wasn’t lying, I truly meant it.”
Arthur couldn’t help his eyes flicking down to Merlin’s lips. He wondered what they tasted like. He wanted to know what it was like to wake up in the mornings with someone cradled next to you, a source of warmth in the cold winter mornings. He wanted to know, to touch, to feel .
But he couldn't.
So he backed away, cleared his throat, and turned away trying to hide the flush on his face. He sat down at his desk, a safe distance from the bed. He drew up a sheet of paper and grabbed a quill.
“I'll have the position formalized by the time of the banquet, until then continue with your current duties.”
Arthur tried not to cringe at how cold that sounded. He watched Merlin jolt out of his frozen stance at the end of the bed and quickly fold the clothes. In record time he had them stacked away in the closet and made a quick excuse and bolted out the door. Arthur tried to ignore the painful thrums in his chest at the dismissal. He gripped his quill so hard it snapped, sending a spray of ink across the thankfully blank paper. He sighed, setting it down. He could survive this.
___
The castle was bustling with people, every Camelot citizen that could come had made the trek to the castle. Entertainers were in every corner, music flowing over the chatter. At the center of it all Arthur sat at a high table with Merlin on his left, and seats for the Knights flanked both sides. Some of these seats were filled, Leon sitting stoically to Arthur’s right, eyeing the flame juggler with some distress. Percival was at the far end of the table, swaying side to side with the music. It was not even half through with the festivities and he had already lost a drinking game with Gwaine. Arthur swept his gaze across the room, observing his people enjoying themselves, and landed his gaze on Merlin beside him. His dark hair caught the light in just the right way, moonlight from the windows haloing him in a soft glow. The silver thread caught the golden lamplight and shimmered, making him sparkle. As if Merlin could feel his gaze, he turned and when he met Arthur’s eyes, he grinned. Arthur’s stomach swooped, and while in any other instance his mind could conjure the most sappy poems about Merlin, at that moment the only thing his mind could conjure was,
pretty
He should probably stop staring.
Arthur noticed one of the Council of Druids stand and look at him meaningfully. Arthur then stood from his seat and made his way to the center of the chamber. He stood tall in the magnificent reds and golds, cloak swishing behind him. The crown on his head was heavier than he was used to, the ceremonial one having an extra pound and a half of gold embellishments. He did not need to call for silence, his presence alone commanded it. It was not the same fearful aura his father commanded but something more, something of respect. Of understanding.
“Today we are all gathered here to celebrate a multitude of things. It is the Winter Solstice first and foremost, the first official day of winter, even if it has felt like winter has been here for several months already.”
He smiled at the chuckles that echoed around the room. He always believed laughter should be treasured, he had never agreed with his father on the idea that fear equals respect.
“It also happens that today is my birthday, so that counts as part of the celebration I suppose.” There were more chuckles, and Arthur stole a quick glance at Merlin behind him. He smiled and shook his head, and urged Arthur to get on with it.
“And finally, this marks the occasion in which I will officially be enforcing the new law; magic is no longer a forbidden practice and those who have been suspected of sorcery will no longer be prosecuted. To re-enforce this decision, I have decided to propose a treaty to the Drudic People and offer them asylum; any of those who feel unsafe will be free to seek shelter behind Camelot's walls. I know that several decades of anti-magic thinking will be hard to change, but I believe you all to be good people. If you find you are unable to cope with the idea, I will not be offended, but I will ask you to either keep your opinions to yourself or move to one of the lovely towns outside the walls. Magic is not evil, as my father believed, it is a tool. And just like a sword, it depends on the wielder. This is a celebration for the freedom and equal opportunities now granted to all citizens. Now, enjoy the festivities!”
He turned and walked back to his seat, cheers and clapping echoing through the hall behind him.
As the noises of entertainment, music, and chatter filled the air, he leaned over closer to Merlin.
“Was that alright?”
The air of the hall was warm and Arthur could feel sweat drip down his neck. Merlin just grinned, tears glistening in his eyes.
“That was perfect.”
At some point during the night he had been pulled onto the dance floor and had somehow convinced Merlin to join him. The torches burned low, but the moon was still soaring across the sky. Everyone was pleasantly drunk, and the music was jovial. Everyone swirled together in a rainbow of shimmering fabrics. Merlin laughed and oh how Arthur loved that laugh. They spun around and around to a crescendo. Eventually, the music slowly dropped in tempo. Everyone was gathering partners for the final waltz, and Arthur, who had not danced with anyone else that night, looked meaningfully at Merlin. He nodded and smiled, he wouldn’t have chosen anyone else. He only had eyes for Merlin in the crowded room.
The lights sparked, the atmosphere felt joyful, and Arthur had never been happier. He looked at Merlin, dazed and drunk. Merlin’s looked as if Arthur had hung the moon. And Arthur looked back at him like he was Arthur’s whole world. They registered nothing and no one else, they had each other and that’s all that mattered.
If time had stopped in that moment, destiny would have sighed, as the two sides of the coin had found each other and nothing could have torn them apart.
The music ended all too soon, and people slowly filtered out of the hall, stumbling happily back to their homes, warm, drunk, and joyful. Arthur was unsure of the specific details between the dance and him ending up back in his room, everything seemed blurred. Before he knew it Merlin was fumbling the clasps on his cloak and getting him dressed in his sleep wear. He tried to paw the hands away, not really doing much more than gesturing sluggishly, but Merlin just shook his head. Arthur mumbled something about him not being a servant anymore, and he can do it himself, but Merlin just tutted, smiling fondly. The bed was soft, the room was warm, and Merlin hadn’t left quite yet. Arthur fell asleep then, content. It was the best birthday he had ever had.
__
The light the next day was harsh and bright. The cloudless cold winter sky was stark outside the chamber’s windows. It did not help Arthur’s headache from the wine he had drunk the night before, but he found he did not feel as sour as he had with lingering effects of alcohol before.
He sat at what you might call the “middle” of the rounded table, if round tables had a middle seat. He sat facing the door, tall windows flanked him on either side of the room. Around him stood the high council of Druid Elders, his Knights, and of course Merlin. They had spent the past hour negotiating the terms of the treaty. The council members had been looking at Merlin oddly throughout the whole meeting, never out of malice but with curiosity. It was as if they could not believe he was there.
“I believe we are satisfied with these terms.” One of the council declared. The others nodded. “There is one more thing, you are of course aware of treaties being sealed with marriage in order to keep them true?”
Arthur cringed. He had hoped it would not be brought up, but he figured that with his father’s history and his “change of heart” being so sudden and recent, it would make sense to solidify this proclamation in a permanent agreement. He sighed inwardly.
“Of course, I am aware of this tradition. Was there someone you had in mind for the unification?”
The Druids looked at each other, smiling, and nodding. It was obvious they all had thought of the same person.
“Emrys.”
Arthur tried not to let surprise show on his face, but he felt his eyebrows climbing anyway. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a few of his Knights shared the reaction, Elyan closing Gwaine’s open mouth with a snap. How would Arthur marry a legend? And an immortal one at that?
“I accept,” Merlin said from beside him. Arthur was even more confused.
“I- Merlin what?”
“I am Emrys,” He looked confident but a small worry line formed in between his eyebrows, letting Arthur know he was not nearly as composed as he looked. “And I accept this treaty marriage.”
Arthur couldn’t help it, he laughed. It seemed so obvious.
“You didn’t think to tell me you were also King of the Druids when you told me you had magic? Unbelievable. Next I’m going to find out from the salamanders in the walls you’re actually the long lost dragon lord or something.”
Merlin winces.
“...Not far off actually.”
Arthur scrubs a hand over his face.
“Obviously. Okay we are definitely talking about that later.” He grabs the pages of drafted terms that are scattered on the table and stacks them neatly. “But this makes things a lot easier actually, you being a royal. I have the rings ready, I can get a proper set of robes made in no time at all. I have all of your sizes already, so it will be a breeze. If all goes well we can be married by spring.”
He looked up and was momentarily taken aback by the amount of baffled faces. He turned to look at Merlin, and noticed his jaw was hung open and his eyebrows disappeared into his hair.
“What, I have been trying to come up with an excuse to marry you for a while now, this is actually perfect.” He turned fully to Merlin, dropping the papers on the table. “Would you? Marry me, I mean.”
Arthur was trying his hardest not to lose his composure. Half of him wanted to jump with joy and cheer so loud the neighboring kingdom would send complaints. The other half was rapidly spiraling into panic. Did Merlin actually want this? Was Arthur reading the last couple of weeks (months, years,) wrong? Would Arthur's feelings complicate what was a marriage for political reasons? He already agreed to the marriage a second ago, but it would feel weird if he didn’t ask directly-
He was pulled from his spiral as Merlin closed the distance between them in a matter of seconds. The kiss sent sparks across Arthurs skin and he reached up and grabbed Merlin’s shoulder with one hand and felt Merlin’s gripping his waist. He burned at the contact, nerves racing through his abdomen making his breath stutter. It was short but Arthur didn’t care. His face was flushed, and both of them were breathing heavily.
“Yes,” Merlin panted. “Of course I will marry you.”
He grinned and leaned away a little.
“You absolute clotpole.”
They were grinning like the idiots they were, and suddenly all their worldly problems seemed very far away. Merlin slid his hand into Arthur’s palm, intertwining their fingers. It felt right, they felt…complete for the first time.
Unbeknownst to them, their hearts beat in sync, breathing timed just opposite to compliment each other. The universe knew this and felt a sigh at the balance. In the unwavering river of time, one silver thread of an immortal soul was winding its way through, searching for its companion. And in that moment its golden compliment had joined and together they wove through the fabric of time. Appearing over and over, story after story, never truly dying. And this, this was the true meaning of immortal. They were always meant to find each other, and would time and time again. The universe knew this and cradled the threads, now so tightly woven together it was impossible to tell where one ended and the next began. This was something deeper than soulmates.
It was fate.
It was Destiny.