Chapter Text
Lily prided herself on being a responsible person, an example of integrity and diligence, and teachers had always praised her sense of duty and propriety. So yeah, she did wake up the day after the party in a confusional state, breath smelling of rot and bleary eyes brutally attacked by the afternoon sun, but that wasn’t going to stop her from getting all of her homework done. It wasn’t like she could afford to pay Barty, and she didn’t want to ask Remus, who was probably in the same predicament as her.
“Morning, sunshine,” her Mum, Juniper Evans, greeted her from the kitchen counter when Lily slipped into the living room, where the smell of spices, promise of a delicious lunch, placated her grumbling stomach.
“Woke up early today, I see,” Juniper joked as she started to set the table, and normally Lily would’ve helped her, but her legs felt so sore and she was visibly hungover, so she guessed her Mum would understand.
“Did you drink last night?”
“Mum.”
“Yes?” Lily felt the mirth in Juniper’s voice. She was so lucky to have her as a mother.
“I’m of age,” Lily countered.
“Still, you should always be in control of your person and actions.”
Thinking about it, Lily wasn’t even that drunk. A bit tipsy, sure, but she wasn’t ‘out of control’.
“I didn't-“ she began, but to tell the truth, she had felt completely out of touch for a bit. The bit where she and Mary were snogging in the Potters’ guest room, to be precise. Kissing wasn’t a drug, though, legally speaking, so Lily wasn’t lying, but Juniper was looking at her funny now, probably because she thought the abrupt interruption was an unspoken admission of guilt.
Lily’s mind was drifting away from silly drinking jokes and towards a bigger problem: was she supposed to tell her Mum (and her Dad, eventually) about her relationship with Mary?
Maybe it was too soon. She really liked her, and usually girls tell their parents when they meet a special someone, right?
The special someone usually isn’t another girl, though.
Would that be a problem? Would her Mum look at her differently? Lily didn’t want to lie, or to hide, and Juniper had always seemed supportive.
She’s supportive when other people are gay, the small voice of doubt spoke. Many people are fine with queerness, as long as it doesn’t involve their own family.
Always the fucking voices.
She wasn’t supposed to listen to them, but-
“Lily, are you okay?” Juniper asked, now seeming concerned.
Lily didn’t lie. She didn’t hide, either, it was so unlike her.
And yet,
“Yeah, I need to take a shower. Could you make me a glass of water?”
-when faced with her mother’s earnest eyes, the first person she’d loved in her life, it was the easiest option.
~
mary
hey i know you probs have hw to do and stuff, but i was thinking
do you wanna come over later?
~
Okay, don’t judge.
Most of the homework had been done by the time Lily left for Mary’s house, so the whole integrity and responsibility thing was still valid.
And, Mary was Lily’s first girlfriend, and their relationship had officially started about…fifteen hours earlier, it was normal for her to be eager to spend some time together.
Mary had put The Breakfast Club on the TV, explaining that Peter was a big cinephile, and since the two of them had started talking during second year, he’d instilled a similar passion in her.
Mary had watched it countless times, so the film worked more as background noise while she painted Lily’s nails in a bright shade of green, recounting the events of the night before.
“So then Em decided it was a good idea to put on Bohemian Rhapsody, and I was like, do you even know Sirius? He’s going to torture our eardrums for the next six minutes-“
“He always sings the guitar solo, too,” Lily recalled, watching as Mary carefully painted her pinky finger.
“And mimes everything and shit,” Mary laughed, pretending to strum an air guitar, “But I have to say, for once, I’m glad Emmeline decided to do it.”
“Why?”
Mary shot her an innocent (and so, so fake) pout. “Because your Remy is incredibly cute when he’s smitten,” she sang.
“Your Siri was just as adorable, darling,” Lily replied, flicking Mary’s forehead.
“Ouch!” she complained. “Was that even dry?”
Lily didn’t need to investigate much to figure out that no, the nail polish wasn’t dry, and she had undoubtedly left a small speck of green on Mary’s dark skin.
She pressed her lips in what she knew was a guilty look, and that was enough of an answer for Mary to begin scolding her like a disappointed mother.
As Mary cleaned herself up, a question popped up in Lily’s head, something that had made her feel uneasy since she had talked to her mother a few hours earlier. It was torturing her, actually.
“Hey,” she caught Mary’s attention, “I was wondering-you don’t have to answer, of course, but…” Lily picked at her skin, anxious, but then Mary put a hand over hers, and although she wasn’t smiling, the touch felt fond, delicate. A small ‘take your time’.
“Do your parents know that you like girls?” Lily managed to blurt out. Mary gave her hand a brief, involuntary squeeze.
“I didn’t tell them,” she said, almost warily, but then she regained her composure, offering a small smile.“Are you worried about giving them The Talk?”
“Yes, actually,” Lily sighed, burying herself deep into the sofa’s cushions. “I don’t even know what I’m worried about, I know my parents. Telling Marlene and Remus has been as easy as breathing, for God’s sake.”
Mary rested her head next to Lily’s, fingers still entwined. Lily could get used to it.
“It’s probably because they aren’t straight, either,” Mary said. “You can hardly be homophobic if you are one of the gays.”
“I don’t know, I hate myself sometimes, does that make me a homophobe?”
“Yes!” Mary exclaimed, jumping up so abruptly Lily was almost startled.
“How dare you!” Mary continued, playful, and she climbed on Lily’s lap.
“What are you doing?” Lily’s question morphed into a surprised laugh, because Mary had started tickling her, ruthlessly, light-hearted admonishments thrown between giggles.
“This is what you get, Evans,” Mary declared, dodging Lily’s attempts at swatting her away.
“Maybe next time you’ll think twice before insulting my gi-uhm…” she froze, eyes wide and mouth agape, and for a moment Lily wondered if she was having a stroke.
Then it hit her. The word. Girlfriend.
Officially, they hadn’t put a label on their relationship since the recent developments, so Lily could understand Mary’s indecision, but on the other hand…was it really necessary? Lily had gone through all ranges of human emotions before realising her feelings, and Mary had confessed to her at the party, so the whole ‘do you want to be my girlfriend?’ ordeal felt…redundant. They both knew the answer already.
“You can say it,” Lily allowed, her lips stretching into a smile as Mary’s eyes began to glow.
“Don’t make fun of my girlfriend.”
“Well, if she’s just your girl friend, what’s the big deal?” Lily taunted her, partly because she wanted to ease the tension, and partly because she hoped it would make her heart stop beating so damn fast.
“You’re my girlfriend, you little shit-” Lily cut Mary off with a kiss, or rather, she pressed their smiles together, which then melted into a proper kiss.
God, didn’t it have a really nice ring to it. ‘This is my girlfriend, Lily’. ‘Wait a sec, I’ll just tell my girlfriend.’ ‘You know Mary? She’s my girlfriend!’
Lily was going mental: she’d become everything she’d sworn to hate.
~
A monotone voice surprised Lily as she was picking her books from the locker that morning, a voice she’d heard many times but had learnt to ignore, not maliciously, just…naturally.
“Hey Evans,” Lucinda called, and Lily turned to her, confused as to why Talkalot would have a reason to speak to her now of all times, but she didn’t get enough time to guess. Lucinda was a very direct person. “I heard you were at Potter’s party last weekend.”
“Uhm…yes,” Lily confirmed, distracted by the gum Lucinda was chewing.
“Is it true that you and MacDonald are together now?” she continued, her voice still apathetic and uninterested, which made Lily wonder if she had ulterior motives for asking her about her love life. Speaking of which, where was Veronica?
“Yeah, we are,” Lily answered smugly. Mary had told her that people were going to start asking questions, so they were both ready for situations like this. “We don’t want to make a big deal out of it though, so I’d rather you didn’t tell your friend Veronica about it.”
“No problem,” Lucinda shrugged, crossing her arms. “I dropped her. I don’t talk to her anymore.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t, she was kinda obnoxious,” Lucinda popped her gum, “Anyway, just letting you know, I found out through Vance. She was talking to Mary and they were suspiciously giggly, so I eavesdropped. So no one else knows yet.”
Lily was just starting to picture it, Mary taking Emmeline to the side and whispering excitedly, mouths dropping and hands flying up to cover up squeals and small laughs, when she noticed the unimpressed (and borderline disgusted) look Lucinda was giving her.
“It’s cool you're together, I guess,” she sniffed, “The weirdo and the cheerleader in a lesbian relationship. It’s a slay, or whatever.”
“...Thank you?”
“Sure. I gotta go now. I like your nails.”
Had Lucinda just been outwardly nice to her? It’s not like she was a mean person, no, but neither of them had gone out of their way to strike up conversation, much less compliment each other. Lily was at a loss of words, but as she watched Lucinda’s blonde head leave, all alone, something inside her must’ve moved, a subconscious reaction that she couldn't explain, because a sentence bubbled up from her chest, and Lily had no clue what she was going to say until she awkwardly spoke it aloud.
“Lucinda,” the other girl turned, “If you want to go out sometimes, or if you just need to talk, I’m free.”
Lucinda seemed to consider the offer, regarding her for a second with her fingers hooked around the handle of the fancy bag she used to carry around her books.
“...Nah, I’m good.”
“Okay,” Lily deflated like a balloon, “Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
~
At lunch, Lily was still perturbed by her exchange with Lucinda, and Marlene seemed to find it positively hilarious.
“She’s my new idol,” she laughed, breathlessly leaning on Remus. They were at their new usual table, but today Sirius, James, Peter and Mary were all running late, so it was just the three of them at the moment. They were making lighthearted conversation, recalling the party’s events and the bits each of them had missed (which, Lily found out, were many-Peter had started rapping at some point), when an unexpected guest walked up to them.
Regulus Black.
“Regulus,” Marlene was the first to greet him, and it seemed like she couldn’t help the reverential tone her voice assumed when she talked to him. Lily doubted Marlene respected any professor even half as she respected him.
“McKinnon,” Regulus replied, just as respectfully. “Lupin. Evans.”
Lily noticed that Remus was sitting a bit straighter, shoulders tensed, and Lily couldn’t believe it-was he…intimidated? That would have been a shame, she was ready to bet Remus and Regulus could get along very well. However, a certain distance was probably inevitable, considering that Remus was almost about to shag Regulus’ big brother.
“Regulus!” Lily smiled, trying to dissipate the thickening awkwardness. It was easier to treat Regulus as a common person, once she’d seen him hunched over himself puking. “Are you joining us today? The table is basically empty.”
“I already ate,” he said. “Have you had lunch yet?”
“No, we’ve just arrived, actually. Why?”
“I have something to prove to you,” he explained, then pulled out a small box from his bag. “I don’t know if you remember, but…it’s about the conversation we’ve had in your car.”
“No way,” Lily exclaimed, grabbing the container, that was evidently a lunchbox. And inside, as Lily had predicted, there it laid: the eggplant parmigiana, in all its rich, posh glory.
“It should be warm,” Regulus said, playing with his rings.
And it was warm, because of course Regulus Black brought those fancy lunch boxes that keep food warm or cold to school-oh, this was going to be Lily’s best school lunch yet.
Marlene could sense it, too.
“What’s that?”
“An inside joke between the two of us,” Lily replied, taking the box away from Marlene’s prying eyes. Regulus was just standing there, waiting for his work to be judged, and it made Lily pity him a little.
“Sit here,” she made space on the bench next to her, and then started eating.
Sweet lord, was it good. Lily had to give it to him: Regulus Black could cook, and even if the chances that that was the only meal he could prepare were high, she wasn’t going to make fun of him.
“This is phenomenal,” she commented between a bite and the other, and Marlene was frowning at her as if she knew exactly what she was missing.
“I know,” Regulus replied confidently, but his shoulders relaxed a little.
“I believe food is the deepest manifestation of love…” Marlene deadpanned, watching as Lily’s fork went up to her mouth and down into the box. “...that should be shared with everyone we care about.”
Lily rolled her eyes and handed the lunchbox over to her.
“You think so?” Regulus inquired, but Marlene was too engrossed in the food to answer.
“It’s a universal language,” Remus replied in her stead. “I’ve never heard of anyone complaining about being given a homemade meal.”
Regulus hummed, pondering. “That’s good to know,” he said, getting up to leave. “You can bring me the box tomorrow. Ah, and Lily, Evan told me to let you know that he’s skipping today, so whatever business you have with him, you can discuss it tomorrow.”
“No problem,” Lily replied, taking back her lunch from Marlene’s hands. “There’s no rush. Thanks for the meal.”
“It’s okay,” Regulus said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “See you.”
And so he walked back to his friends, and Lily watched as he dropped next to Pandora, who let her head fall on his shoulder and patted his hand.
Lily was sure Pandora knew of Regulus and James’ relationship. She was ready to bet Regulus had told Dorcas, Barty and Evan, too, and from what she’d gathered, even Sirius and Mary knew. Being one of James’ closest friends, Peter was also in on it, too.
It was quite a large number of people-Lily wondered if Regulus was afraid of his parents ever finding out. But then again, had Regulus been scared of his brother finding out in the past? Probably. And yet, that revelation might have even brought them closer: Regulus had finally shown Sirius that he trusted him, despite everything.
In the end, being siblings means sharing secrets you can’t tell to anyone else, not even your parents. It’s about growing up, rebelling together: a lifelong alliance, with its ups and downs.
“Lily,” Remus interrupted her thoughts. “There’s something on your mind.”
“I need your help.”
“With what?” Marlene perked up.
“I need to write a message.”
~
Lily
hey
i was wondering if you were free to get a coffee one of these days
i’m sorry i didn’t text you sooner|
if you don’t want to |
i haven’t seen you in forever, and there’s a lot i want to tell you
just tell me the place and the time and i’ll be there, petunia