Chapter Text
C. Spring.
Christian? Cameron? Christopher? Callum?
I’ve been laying in bed for an hour this morning already searching names that begin with C. I’ve also been trying to find him on any social media to get me any closer to finding out if he’s queer. I mean, my whole being is pretty convinced that he is but how do I know if that’s just my delusional lust for this beautiful man? I would never want to make him uncomfortable if he isn’t but none of the platforms have given me any proper results. He’s an utter enigma to me.
Immy and I talked a lot about it last night and we created a plan. She even got her highlighters out and made me a colourful moodboard. She helped me realise just how much I’m in my head about it and how there is a low likelihood of a bad outcome. Sure, it’s very possible that I find out he’s not queer and I’ll need to get over my crush, but that’s just life. I might gain a friend though, which would be amazing in itself considering how little effort I’ve made to meet new people so far... It’s next on my ‘get my life back on track’ list.
We brainstormed together and narrowed my options down to two. I can either wait until a random moment comes around where we meet in passing and I say something to start a conversation, like complimenting him on his outfit or I take fate into my own hands and approach him directly to ask if he wants to hang out sometime. We both agreed that I’d probably not be able to engage my brain to form a coherent sentence if we just stumbled upon each other, especially considering how he makes me feel, which means option two is the way to go.
Am I scared? Not at all. I only need to knock on my neighbour’s door and give him a speech about how I’ve been trying to make an effort to meet new people in the area and that I’ve seen him around and was wondering if he’d be up for a coffee sometime. Easy! No fear here.
Yeah, I can’t fool myself. I’m shitting my pants just thinking about it. But I’m going to do it. I’ve decided and even wrote it down on a post it note and stuck it on my wall. It’s sealed. And it’s going to happen. Today.
I take a deep breath and get out of bed to start my day. I give Daisy her breakfast and make my own. Immy likes to have a lay in on the weekends so, other than the noise of the pup eating her food, the flat is quiet. I make myself a cup of tea and some toast and sit down at the table overlooking the garden. I keep repeating the scenario I came up with in my head over and over like I’m preparing for an audition.
As you probably know I’m your neighbour from upstairs and I’m still quite new to the area but also the city and I was wondering if you were interested in hanging out sometimes. I think that we’re a similar age so I thought that you might like that. Also, I made some cookies and muffins if you’d like some.
Immy and I came up with this together and role-played it last night to make sure it doesn’t sound too forced like I was worried it did. But in a conversation it sounds rather normal and the more I said it, the more I relaxed. I know that I’ll panic when it’s time to do it later today, but hopefully having this plan will make it a little bit easier. For now, I need to take Daisy out for our long walk and go buy ingredients for more baking. I’m going to make a couple more varieties of muffins and cookies too so that he likes at least one of them. Hopefully.
I get ready for the day and head out to spend the morning out with my pup. She loves our walks and so do I. I’m lucky to live in a place with such easy access to nature and peace. The area we normally go to is bursting with greenery and the sound of the river flowing next to the path makes for a great experience every time. We take our usual route, with Daisy exploring all the smells with her nose and me following her closely. We pass by other walkers, some with their own four-legged companions, which means new friends for Daisy, and I exchange quick hellos with pretty much everyone. It’s a good day!
On our way back, we stop by the local Tesco and I swiftly grab what I need. Some blueberries, lemons and poppyseeds for muffins, some more flour and some gluten-free too in case he can’t have gluten. I grab a treat for Daisy and some juice for myself too and pay for everything. Back home, I have a quick chat with Immy who gives me reassurance about my plan and I get to work. I’m a seasoned baker so handling multiple recipes at the same time is a piece of cake. Literally. Still, it takes me hours to make them all and by the time I finish, it’s nearing dinner time. I’ve made 40 cookies and 36 muffins. Well, if it all goes to shit, I’ll have plenty of comfort food to munch on later…
If I’m finished, that means the next step in my plan: go to his flat. I’m trying not to panic as I put some of the baked goods into tupperware. I have to just do it. I hum a random song to counteract my anxiety building up in my body and mind because I can’t let that stop me. I put my shoes on and make my way downstairs. My hand is shaking a bit and I feel my chest tighten but I keep moving. It’s just a conversation. I’m not in danger.
I reach the ground floor and stop in front of the door to his flat. One more deep breath and I knock. This is it. I’m either about to make a friend or more or be turned down. I will deal with whatever the outcome is when it gets to that. The door swings open and there he is. The man of my dreams right in front of me with his messy hair and piercing blue eyes. I think I might have stopped breathing as his gaze meets mine.
‘Hi,’ he says softly.
‘Hi.’
‘You are my neighbour,’ he half-asks with curiosity in his voice.
‘Yes. Correct. I…umm…I had a thing I wanted to say and I…uhhh. Oh yes! Hi, as you probably know, which you do, I’m your upstairs from neighbour and…uh..no, not that. Do you want a muffin?’
I extend my arms with the tupperware towards him when I realise that my brain is in fact failing me. He looks at me with confusion and then a smile breaks out onto his face.
‘What kind?’ He tries to peek inside the containers.
Wait, he hasn’t told me to go fuck myself yet? Does that mean I haven’t fucked it up yet?!
‘Um, there are different kinds and also some cookies there. I wasn’t sure what you might like so I made a few options.’ I scratch my neck with my free hand as I often do when I’m nervous around someone.
‘That’s very kind of you. I do need to ask though…What is the occasion? Or was that part of the thing you wanted to say?’
‘Oh! Yes, kind of. I’ll try again.’ His composed presence is making me feel calmer and I can actually form coherent thoughts now.
‘So yeah, I live upstairs and I’m still pretty new to this area and the city too. I moved into this flat with my friend a couple of months ago. And I…um..I was wondering if you were interested in hanging out sometimes? We look similar in age so I thought you might like that too. But it’s okay if not! And like you don’t need to tell me now or anything. You ca—.’
‘What’s your name, neighbour?’ He interrupts my rumble gently, still smiling.
‘Nick. My name is Nick.’
‘Nice to meet you Nick. I’m Charlie. I have no plans for today if you would like to hang out?’
‘Wait. Really?’ I’m so shocked that I almost shout it out.
‘Yes, absolutely. I wouldn’t say no to home-made muffins.’
He winks at me. He WINKS at me. Holy shit.
‘Yes. I’m definitely in.’ I nod with excitement.
‘Do you want to come in?’
‘I’d like that.’
He opens the door wider to let me in and as I walk in, I notice a beautiful painting of the pride flag on the wall.
I take that as confirmation of my chances and smile as I follow him further into the flat.
Today is a good day.