Chapter Text
The first time.
Awakening from a dream that must of lasted decades.. or maybe just a few years?... how could he count when he's been unconscious this whole time?
no feelings those years... or maybe seconds, maybe minutes, maybe even hours. He doesn't know how long he's been asleep. or maybe he wasn't asleep, but dead the whole time. He doesn't recall dreaming at all, but he also feels like he WAS dreaming the whole time. Floating in a endless abyss of memories, A odd feeling of warmth.. for some reason. like he was being hugged by huge flames, Only to be awaken from the false sense of security of the feeling of being choked until he couldn't breath. but he never died, he went through billions of years through pain in the span of a few seconds. Then another sense of false security. like being hugged by a lover.. Only to be thrown into the freezing cold of death whilst hearing screams of agony. he couldn't recall if it was his screams of pure agony or something else's.
Finally being awoken from thousands of years of death and warmth with his name being called by a women. Having something warm and stingly cold forcefully stuffed into his heart, making it feel worse then the thousand years of nightmares feel like it wasn't as bad as waking up to feeling like being stinged by millions of jellyfishes every second. But he couldn't scream, he could barely even open his eyes. he could just deal with the pain silently until he could be forcefully jolted away once more. it felt like even more thousands of years, he wanted to cry and scream and rip off his head but he couldn't move.
only when he was forced awake like the feeling of a warm hug and a hot chocolate in the middle of winter did he realize it was just a few seconds. Feeling a familiar sense of warmth from his dreams.... a warm smile welcoming him to his newfound life, like he was just born for the first time. He felt as if he was a baby being hugged by his mother. like he was wanted and needed.
The women waited for him to fully awake, or maybe at least enough to realize her words did she start speaking. Her voice made him feel so safe.. like he knew her for decades. He didn't comprehend much, just the women's looks, and her telling another women, possibly younger? to wait. and before she left, did he finally comprehend one thing she said...
"I must leave now. Don't worry. Someone will come and find you very soon, just go with them. You won't remember a thing except me."
He didn't want to let that warm feeling of home to leave.. he couldn't let her just leave him here alone. This is the first time in those thousands of nightmares he's actually felt safe and home. he couldn't just let it walk away.
"When you have a chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret..."
he wanted to reach out to her, to leave with her.. to finally find his home. he tried to each his hand out, try to grab onto her and tell her he wants to go home, but he couldn't move. the last thing he could remember before he passed out was that warm feeling subsiding... now he felt cold and unsafe. like he fell in a cold lake in the middle of winter. He tried forcing out words before she fully left only for nothing to come out... he felt tears trickle down his cheeks, he felt un needed and unwanted now. he felt like he was back in the thousand years of nightmares.
.......