Chapter Text
Sigrid sat with the rest of her family up at the head table as the entire kingdom of Erebor broke their Zannu Adrâf fast. It wasn’t the feast she was expecting; she felt like she could have eaten an entire horse, but they were only served soup and bread, and later some small cakes with honey and milk. Bain grouched about it a bit, but as Sigrid finished her portion she realized the wisdom. After going with only water in her stomach for a whole day, the richer dinners she’d become accustomed to would have made her sick.
At least her da was happy. Bard sat between Sigrid and Thorin, and the two leaders were actually chatting. It was too bad the table was one long line. She would have liked to spend a little more time with Fili, as they had to leave tomorrow and get back to their regular lives.
“See Sigrid, I told you. All I needed was to come up here and find out what was going on, and everything would be fine!” Bard grinned, elbowing her gently in the ribs. “What do you think?”
He’d told her indeed. Sigrid would have liked to remind her da exactly what the sequence of events had actually been, but behind him, Thorin was waiting for her reaction as well. She swallowed and wiped her mouth primly, buying herself some time. “It’s absolutely gorgeous here. I like it more than I ever thought I would,” she admitted easily. “And I’m finding Zannu Adrâf to be a really lovely tradition. As I’m sure all the rest are!”
Thorin nodded and smiled back at her. “Thank you, Lady Sigrid. I admit I wasn’t sure about inviting anyone who wasn’t a Dwarf, but Fili convinced me. He saw something in you, and you too, Bard.”
There was some sort of look in his eye that made Bard turn around and look at her curiously, but she merely smiled and replied, “I’m so very glad he did.” The answer seemed to satisfy the both of them, so she turned back to her plate and scraped some crumbs off it, relishing the sweet honey. On her other side, Tilda started to rub at her eyes and yawn every so often. “Ready to go upstairs, Tilly?”
“No,” she whined. “I want to stay up with all of you!”
“Well maybe I wanted to go upstairs myself, and I just wanted to know if you wanted to accompany me.” She exaggerated a yawn and stretched out her arms above her head. “I’m getting really tired.”
“Well, if you’re tired,” Tilda hedged, “I guess I can, um, accompany you upstairs.”
“Expertly done,” Bard murmured as Sigrid rose to her feet.
“Now let’s see if we can find our way back, hm?”
Thorin pushed back from the table and stood as well, then took Sigrid’s hand. “Have a wonderful night, Lady Sigrid. I’m sure Fili will take you up.”
Sigrid nodded and led Tilda to the other side of the table, where Kili, Dis, and Fili sat close together, discussing something in hushed voices.
“Are you sure, son? This would only fester.”
“Yes, yes, it’s been, er, sorted out.”
“I bet it has.”
Sigrid cleared her throat, interrupting Kili’s playful punch towards his brother. “Good evening, everyone.”
Fili stood quickly, shooting one last glowering look to Kili. “Lady Tilda, Sigrid! How are you? Heading to bed?”
“Sigrid is,” Tilda answered airily. “I’m not--” she yawned “--not tired yet. But I feel bad for her, so. I’m going to keep her company.”
Fili offered his arm to Tilda. “I think that’s very kind of you, Lady Tilda. Please allow me to escort you.”
Dis had fixed Sigrid with a searching look during the whole exchange, and it was all she could do to curtsey politely, make her exit, and hope she had passed whatever test it was. “Good night, Princess Dis. Prince Kili.”
As she left the dining hall, Sigrid let Fili and Tilda walk just a little bit ahead of her. It was nice not to have to keep face for a little while. Right now, it was all she could do to gaze adoringly at the picture they made. Fili was still taller than Tilda by a fair amount, but it wouldn’t be long before she caught up. His back was straight as a board, and Tilda’s chest was puffed out too, relishing the grown-up attention he gave her. He was so gentle. Tilda would kill Sigrid if she ever found out how close she had come to ruining everything.
But he had been just as gentle with her. He’d talked to Thorin for her, brought him around so Da would stop acting so crazy. He’d even been gentle after she’d stomped all over his heart. Fili could have thrown her out for what she’d said. Instead he’d forgiven her instantly, and made all her wishes come true.
“G’night, Prince Fili,” Tilda chimed as they arrived at the door.
“Good night, Lady Tilda.”
Sigrid paused as Tilda opened the door. “Go brush your hair, Tilly, I’ll be there in a minute.” Thankfully she scurried away and left them alone.
“Sigrid, I--”
“Fili, I--” They both laughed as they talked over one another. When he gestured for her to go ahead, Sigrid dipped her head and said, “I just wanted to thank you, again, for today. For everything. Da’s happy, Tilda had a ton of fun, Bain is… Well, you’d never know it because he’s so quiet, but he has liked being here too.”
She stepped towards him and took his hand. “And I… I know I wasn’t my best self this afternoon, and I wanted to thank you for your forgiveness.” Sighing, she admitted, “I’m still ashamed of what I said.”
Fili stuck his other hand in his pocket and toyed with some coins, but didn’t drop her hand either. “It was… a surprise, I’ll admit. Growing up, we didn’t always live near the most understanding of Men. Oftentimes that was why we ended up moving around.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she breathed. He didn’t have to tell her how much it had cost him; his face said it all. “I really am.”
“I know,” he replied with a small smile. “But it’s easier to move past it this time, knowing that you feel the same way I do.”
“I do.”
The silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Sigrid felt like she could stay there forever with him, holding his hand loosely, just enjoying his company. Unfortunately Tilda had other ideas.
“Sigrid!” she called, her voice loud despite the closed door. How did she manage that every night? “What are you doing out there? Come on!”
Fili’s cheeks blushed pink through his beard. “I should let you go.”
“She can wait.” They stood there for a moment more, and Sigrid took half a step closer. It did not escape her notice that his eyes flicked down, and she instinctively licked her lips. She wanted so badly for him to kiss her again, but the last time she’d taken the initiative it hadn’t exactly gone well. Oh, but there he was, looking at her so tenderly, the torchlight making the gold in his hair dance. All she wanted was to twist her fingers into it, to feel his whiskers against her cheek, and it seemed he wanted the same.
“Can I…” he bit his lip, shuffling forward just a bit.
Sigrid’s heart soared. “Please.”
Fili reached up to her cheek and pulled her down, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. She tilted her head just enough, nudging her nose against his, so she could kiss him back fully. His lips moved over hers oh so softly, and when his thumb rubbed over her cheek it burned in the most delightful way. Dinner’s wine was still on his breath, but she couldn’t care because he was kissing her again. Her hands rested loosely on his upper arms and she relished the feeling of all that corded muscle moving as he circled her waist with his hands. He kissed like she was the most precious thing in the world, all careful, gentle movements, slowly increasing the pressure as though to see if she would break.
But she wouldn’t break, she wanted more. Sigrid trailed her hand up from his arm to cup the back of his neck and pull him closer, and let a soft moan when he slipped his tongue against hers. Fili shuddered and pulled back just a bit, returning to chaste kisses that made her sigh. When she felt his smile against her lips, a giggle bubbled out of her and she pulled away after one last smooch.
“I should, um. We should-- Well, good night, Fili.”
He grinned back dopily, kiss-swollen lips bright red behind his golden beard. “Yes. We should. Sleep well, Sigrid.”
She slipped behind the door to her quarters and sighed.
“Are you done kissing now?” Tilda asked from the bedroom doorway.
Sigrid pursed her lips and strode past her sister into the bedchamber, taking off her outer dress as quickly as she could and slipping into bed.
“Good,” Tilda huffed, and blew out the last candle.
+++
Bain and Sigrid stood with their backs to the wall, watching everyone bustle around them, readying the horses.
“This just feels wrong,” he huffed. “Taking care of the horses is basically my only job at home anymore, and now no one will let me touch a damn thing!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts. You'll be back to your chores soon enough. Besides, don't you want a bit of rest before we’re on the road all day?”
“Half a day.”
Sigrid snorted. “You could make it in half a day if it were just you and the horse. But King Thorin's sending us home with a sack of gold for each animal, it looks like.”
Bain rolled his eyes, unfolded and refolded his arms across his chest. “I’m just not used to feeling so useless.”
“I know.” Sigrid looked back over the scene, wincing as Tilda raced through the maze of animals and Dwarves. “Be careful, Tilly, please?”
A deep rumble of laughter came from the other side of Bain. “Is she always so energetic?”
“You've no idea, Prince Fili,” Bain sighed. “Yule is always an absolute nightmare, and we've got that coming up rather soon actually. Not that I'm terribly excited. It's all ‘wake up, there's presents’ and ‘let's go outside’ and so on. Don't get a lick of rest even though it's supposed to be a holiday.”
Sigrid just bit her lip to hide her grin. He was so obvious. In truth, Bain was usually already awake before Tilda even got to him, and Sigrid always noticed little rips at the paper wrapping his gift under the tree. “Aye, and it sounds like you’ve given this quite a lot of thought considering Yule isn’t for two more months. Besides, Bain, it will be quite a different holiday this year.”
“How so?” Fili asked.
“We’ll be going from door to door handing out our extra food and such, rather than being the ones on the dole.”
Her frank reply seemed to take him aback, but he quickly recovered as his mother approached. “Mother, good morning!”
Sigrid found it was easy to return her beaming smile. “Hello, Your Highness.” She dipped her chin what she hoped was the right amount, hoping Bain would take the hint as well.
“Good morning!” Dis sang. “I hope you ate well at breakfast! You need to keep your strength up for your trip home. We can’t have you wasting away on the road, now, can we? Did you pack something to snack on?”
“It’s only half a day, Mother,” Fili muttered, the tips of his ears coloring pink. Was he… embarrassed?
“Even so,” she tutted, taking Sigrid’s hand. “There’s no such thing as over-prepared, am I right, darling?”
“Right,” Sigrid said. Glancing past Dis for a moment, she could have sworn Fili looked like he wanted to run away. “It was ever so nice to meet you, Your Highness, truly.”
“Oh no, the pleasure was all mine. I only wish I could have had more time to get to know you and your family.” She looked to Fili, who looked immediately at the floor.
Sigrid’s smile grew a bit strained as she realized Dis still held her hand and was patting it gently. “Well perhaps some day in the future we can take our turn hosting you.”
“You all should come down to Dale for Yule!” Bain added, eyes suddenly alight. “After all, you shared your holiday with us, it’s only fair.”
Now her smile was definitely stuck. Why had she said that? “What an interesting idea, Bain. But don’t you think Da should--”
“That sounds lovely!” Dis grinned, infected by Bain’s excitement.
Fili winced. “That’s right around Margu lukhûd, Mother, don’t you think Thorin will want--”
“It’ll be fine, Sig!”
“Thorin will listen to his sister if he knows what’s good for him, ‘ibinê.”
“Ugh, Mother!”
Oh, now Fili was embarrassed! Sigrid tried to keep from laughing as she bent down and kissed Dis’ cheek. “Well I will certainly keep it in mind as we make our plans.”
“Why wait?” Dis asked. “I’m going to go find your father now.” And before anyone could protest, she was gone in a whirl of deep blue skirts.
“That’s… great.” Fili said, swinging his arms. “Just… wonderful.”
They stood there for a moment, Fili wincing, Bain grinning, and Sigrid trying not to lose her head again at the mere thought of another joined holiday so soon, when a shriek cut through the hubbub.
“Dammit, Tilda!” Bain groaned, and ran off to collect her. Fili made to follow, but Sigrid caught his arm.
“Bain has it under control, she’ll be fine.” When he stopped and looked down at her hand, she snatched it away. “Sorry! Um. I just wanted a minute alone to tell you that I hope this wasn’t too horrible for you, because I really quite liked visiting you.”
“It wasn’t horrible,” he smiled. “Well, parts were. But I suppose you’ll find out soon enough what it felt like; Mother’s on a mission, so I expect we will be coming down for Yule.”
The very thought petrified her, but it was only fair. At least she had more notice than he had. “May I write you? Until then? I fear I’ll need your support and guidance so we don’t accidentally offend. Um. Again.”
“It would be my genuine pleasure,” Fili replied. “Just... Not on Saturdays? It’s our resting day and we aren’t supposed to -- oh this is going to sound silly--”
“No, please. Tell me.”
“Well, we aren’t supposed to break anything. Which would include the seals on letters, I’m afraid.”
Sigrid’s eyes widened in recognition. “By the Valar… That’s why you didn’t answer right away!?”
He nodded, and they chimed together, “I’m so sorry!”
Fili sighed. “I hope you didn’t think the worst of me.”
“What? No…” She shook her head, trying to squash the memory of stress-cleaning the house within an inch of its life. “Of course not!” When she averted her gaze past his head, she noticed her da approaching, leading her horse.
“All right, Sig?” he asked, handing over the reins. “Let’s get on the road before the Princess invites herself over for tea tonight.”
“That was all Bain!” she said quickly as she sidestepped away from her horse’s snuffling search of her pockets.
“Even so. We need to get moving.”
“Aye, Da.”
They watched him as he walked away to help Tilda get settled in the saddle of her pony. Still facing the room, Fili stepped towards her and slipped his hand back into hers. “Sigrid,” he murmured, “Would it be inappropriate if… Well I should very much like to give you a kiss goodbye.”
Oh bless him. She couldn’t believe how even now Fili was so unsure. She slipped her free hand into her pocket where the small scrap of parchment was already growing soft and worn. Unable to wipe the smile off her face, she pulled the both of them behind the horse and lowered her lips barely an inch away from his. “It would be my genuine pleasure.”
He bounced up on his toes and captured her mouth with his, using his free hand to cup her face loosely. They were getting better at this, it seemed. Every movement of her lips was met with eager action from him, as if he were able to read her mind. The only thing on her mind anyway was his mouth, his lips, his breath passing over her and through her, sending warmth all the way down to the tips of her toes. She could have stayed there for hours, but when she tried to deepen their kiss and slipped her tongue along the seam of his lips, he pulled away, shaking his head. “Oh, bunnanunê… I should let you go now, lest I lose myself in your kisses and get us both in a world of trouble.”
Sigrid squeezed his hand and pressed one last kiss to his cheek before swinging up into her saddle. “Look me up next time you’re in town,” she said as she made sure her booted feet sat securely in her stirrups. “I owe you for that candy.”
“I can think of a few ways you can pay me back.”
“Now Prince Fili, don’t be indelicate,” she tutted, turning her horse out towards the road and the rest of her family. “Besides, I’d like to think a kiss from me is worth more than a handful of candy.” Sigrid tossed her braid back over her shoulder and clucked her tongue at her horse. As she trotted out of the mountain to meet the rest of the family, Fili’s laughter followed her and buried itself in her heart.
No more wishing. It was a good thing too - she’d need all the help she could get if Bain and Princess Dis got their way. But that was a problem for another day. For now, she had the road in front of her, her handsome prince behind her, and a wealth more knowledge than she’d entered the mountain with in the first place. A fruitful trip indeed, and now she had a day’s journey through the chill. Sigrid dug in her coat pocket for a handkerchief and felt something small and hard tucked in among the fabrics. She pulled it out, gasped, and immediately put it back.
The necklace. He must have snuck it in her pocket when she’d kissed him, the little snot. No one could find out about it, not until they’d decided how to move forward publicly. Yet she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Oh gods, there was no use denying it.
“Oh, forget ‘diplomatic statements,’” she murmured, twisting her fingers gently in the delicate chain. “I’m yours.”