Chapter Text
Langa was definitely not avoiding Reki.
Avoidance would imply that she was going out of her way to not be around Reki. They still ate lunch together, skated together, and hung out together. Langa was just consciously limiting the amount of time they spent alone together.
Okay, so maybe she was avoiding her a little, but it wasn’t a reflection of the strength of their friendship. Even close friends needed a change of pace every now and then. Nothing was wrong. Langa was sure everything was going to be fine.
She just needed a little time.
She just needed a little more distance from Reki. Alas, she had tasted the forbidden fruit. Best course of action was to go cold turkey. She learned last weekend at S that contrary to her hopes, Reki did not in fact spontaneously develop amnesia and forgot about the kiss. Instead, she chose not to acknowledge it at all, and that was answer enough.
Reki did not like Langa back.
It wasn’t as if Langa didn’t already know that. Langa had made peace with this outcome within the first moments she became conscious of her feelings towards Reki. She was okay with this.
Or at least she had thought she was.
But the embarrassment and regret that burned deep in her chest every time she saw Reki, begged to differ.
Langa was on her way to being okay with it.
But unrequited feelings or not, she would stay friends with Reki. Langa would always value their friendship above all else and she resolved to not let this stupid impulse kiss sever her relationship with Reki.
And that meant she needed a little space to collect herself before she could go back to being Reki’s full time best friend.
That's why, the next day at school when the bell let out for lunch and Reki had stood up and grabbed her lunch, expecting to eat on the roof like they always did, Langa requested that they just eat in the classroom today, claiming fatigue and laziness. Being alone with Reki sounded like a bit more than she could handle at the moment. The look of confusion on Reki’s face was withering but she had complied. The chattering ambiance of the classroom was a welcome distraction from any unplatonic thoughts.
When school let out and Reki asked if she wanted to hang out at the skatepark, Langa replied that her mom wanted her back at home for something and left without looking at Reki’s reaction.
She was only half telling the truth; her mom really did need help painting the living room, but it was implied that they would tackle the task in the late afternoon when her mom would get off of work. Currently she had a solid 2 hours until her mom was due to be back at home.
Langa wasted away her afternoon, switching between mindless channel surfing and being unable to focus on her homework. She took a brief break in between the activities to take a restless nap then to make dinner.
She was in the middle of folding a paper airplane out of yesterday’s quiz when her mom opened the door.
“Oh.” Her mom said surprised as she set down the several plastic bags she was carrying. “What are you doing home so early?”
“Uhh nothing, Reki had something going on today so I came back early.” She made the final crease and aimed the paper airplane at her mom.
Her mom deftly dodged the plane, “Alright then, after you pick up this paper airplane, do you want to start unpacking all this so we can get this painting over with?”
Langa shrugged then started rifling through the bags to see what her mother had bought.
“Why did you buy 7 rolls of painters tape?”
“Why do you ask? Do you think it’s not going to be enough?” Langa’s mom asked with resolute sincerity and Langa sighed.
It was going to be a long night.
***
Despite their combined inexperience, they were able to complete the project in under 3 hours. It had worked out that Langa had stood up Reki to paint because if they had stayed out and Langa came back late like usual, there was no way they would have been able to finish the painting in one day. The living room was small but Langa chose to ignore that fact and admire the walls which had magically transformed from white to beige.
It was the most beautiful shade of beige Langa had ever seen in her life.
In line with Langa’s predictions, they had only ended up using ¾ of a roll of painters tape and about half of the brushes that Langa’s mom had purchased. Too exhausted to bother cleaning up, Langa’s mom went to bed with instructions to Langa to return the excess supplies whenever she got the chance and to clean up sometime tomorrow.
The next day, after school and a slow shift at Dope Sketch, instead of going out to grab a snack with Reki like they usually would, Langa told Reki that she needed to leave early to help her mom finish painting.
“How long could it possibly take to finish painting that tiny living room?” Reki asked incredulously.
“My mom bought the wrong color and we didn’t notice until halfway through. It was a whole thing.” Langa said.
She wasn’t entirely lying, she had paint related duties to take care of today. There was nothing wrong with wanting to complete them early in the day instead of hanging out with Reki.
Reki gave a skeptical look but let Langa go on her way with a promise to see each other the next day at school.
Once she was home, Langa tackled the task of cleaning the living room. With all of the furniture back in place and clutter out of the way, the small room actually looked really nice.
All that was left was to return the excess paint supplies. But after checking online, she saw that the hardware store her mother had visited closed early on Tuesdays. Langa hadn’t particularly felt like leaving the house anyways and figured that she would just take care of it the next day, spending her evening on homework and leisure.
The rest of the week followed in a similar manner, Langa continued to procrastinate returning the painting supplies; and Langa found that the distance from Reki made it a little easier to process her unrequited feelings peacefully and with slightly less shame. The less she saw Reki, the less awful she felt.
And so Langa continued to be busy and have other obligations that prevented her from hanging out with Reki as she normally would. By Thursday, she was starting to feel fresh guilt at avoiding Reki.
Sitting at home on Friday, wondering how she was going to get out of S tomorrow, Langa stared at the bag of paint supplies she had continually neglected to return.
The plastic bag taunted her, a tangible reminder of the artificial excuses she had manufactured to not see Reki. Plus she thought her mom might yell at her if she left the supplies unreturned for another day. Langa glanced at the clock. It was 5:12pm. She sighed. Well, it wasn’t like she had anything better to be doing right now.
Langa decided she could worry about tomorrow’s excuse for S after she returned the supplies. She needed a break from being cooped up indoors, stewing in her own guilt. The walk to the hardware shop was relatively short; short enough that she decided to walk rather than skate, but not short enough to stop her from thinking about what her next move was.
At this point, Langa was undeniably avoiding Reki. She knew that Reki had picked up on it. She knew that she was starting to worry Reki.
Langa realized how ingrained into her life Reki had become. Her absence left a prevailing sense of loneliness.
Kissing her in the first place had been incredibly stupid, she wouldn’t be here if she had just kept her impulses under control like a normal person.
She swung the bag thoughtlessly as she rounded a corner, approaching one of the many park areas nearby with rails to skate on.
Before she could continue with her self deprecating inner monologue, she saw a small figure across the street wearing a hoodie with cat ears and lazily riding a skateboard.
Langa tried to speed up before she was noticed, but then the figure looked up and Miya waved a hand in greeting.
Langa clicked her tongue and walked over, nodding her head up in acknowledgement. Figures that the one day she left her house was the day Miya decided to lurk around her neighborhood.
“Well well well, what brings you to this part of town?” Miya asked, with her signature shit-eating grin on her face.
“Well aside from the fact that I live here, just running errands.” Langa held up the plastic bag.
“Shopping?”
“Returns.”
Miya kicked up her board and started walking in the direction Lagna was heading. “I’ll come with you then. I don’t have anything better to be doing.”
Langa wasn’t particularly keen on having company, but rejecting her company would only make her behavior seem stranger than it already was.
“So what are you returning?” Miya asked after it was clear Langa wasn't planning to initiate any conversation.
“Some painting supplies that went unused.”
“Ah right, the week-long painting project. How’s that coming along.”
Apparently she had heard from Reki. A week was definitely too long to use the painting as an excuse but there was nothing she could do about it now.
“It went fine.” Langa shrugged, cautious to not reveal that the painting was complete by Monday.
“Now that the painting is done that means you’ll be able to actually hang out with us again, right?”
Langa wasn’t stupid, it was obvious that Miya was goading her. Miya knew that she was avoiding Langa. If she agreed, then she would need to be around other people this weekend, but if she doubled down on her avoidance then it would only give Miya reason to interrogate her.
Langa was not confident in her ability to lie directly to Miya’s face, and decided to commit to hanging out with the group at S. She had to face Reki at some point and figured it might be less stressful with everyone else around.
So Langa set her jaw and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be at S.”
“Reki will be glad to hear that.”
Langa ignored the twisting in her stomach as they arrived at the hardware store.
She was able to return the excess paint supplies with minimal effort. Miya stood near the door and scrolled through her phone while Langa spoke with the employee.
Once the supplies were returned and the money was safely en route to her mother’s credit card, Langa was able to leave and they started walking back the way they came.
Langa’s hopes for a quiet walk back were immediately dashed.
“So when are you going to stop ignoring Reki?” Miya asked.
Langa winced at the question, then kicked a rock on the sidewalk and shrugged miserably.
“You can’t ignore her forever. The longer you ignore her the more annoying the whole situation becomes for me.”
Langa was silent. How could she form a reasonable response when she knew that she was in the wrong.
“This isn't about just socializing. You need to like, address your feelings or whatever. At the very least you owe Reki an apology for blowing her off all week..”
Tears threatened to prickle in the back of Langa’s eyes and she blinked them away.
“Listen, I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything. just… think about it, ok?” Miya set down her skateboard and pushed away. Turning the corner where Langa would continue straight.
Langa checked the time. Her mom would be coming home soon but she didn’t feel like interacting with anyone else today, let alone her mother.
She sighed and turned her back to the direction of her house. Opting instead to sit at the park for a little while and clear her head. Luckily the park was deserted, save for a few pigeons pecking at the nearby trash can.
Langa hopped and sat on the top of the picnic table, with her feet propped up on the seat.
Langa fiddled with the small keychain in the shape of a skateboard she had attached to her keyring. She had won it from a gatcha. She spun the tiny wheels and Langa absent-mindedly wondered if Reki could make a tiny skateboard like this one, and paint it like her own skateboard. It’d be pretty cute to have a tiny replica. She knew that Reki was learning to make skateboards, maybe a tiny one would serve as good practice.
It was still grossly hot. The humidity making the air thick. She probably wouldn’t spend long outside.
She wondered if the tiny skateboard could do a tiny kickflip. Langa balanced the keychain on her knee and placed her fingers on the tiny board. Just as she was about to attempt her tiny kickflip, Langa was sharply pushed from the back. She dropped the keychain and nearly fell off the table.
For a moment she wondered if she had been struck by a stray basketball, but she hadn’t remembered seeing anyone else at the park. When she turned around, her stomach dropped at the sight of Reki glaring with her arms outstretched.
Langa had never been known for her emotional intelligence or perception, but she was pretty sure that Reki did not look happy. Langa quickly hopped off the table and cautiously faced Reki. She had told Reki she was busy with something today, hence being unable to hang out. Instead of giving a reasonable explanation as to why she was sitting at the park by herself, zoning out instead of knee deep in paint, she blankly said “Oh, hi”
Reki stepped forward and pushed her again, causing Langa to lurch backwards.
“What do you mean ‘Oh, hi’? I thought you were busy today! You told me you were busy all day!” She punctuated her statement with another attempted shove. “And here you are, staring off into space at the park when you told me you were still painting!”
Langa scrambled backwards barely outside her reach.
“Uh…”
Reki clutched at her face, flushed with anger, and groaned. “God. I cannot believe this. I can’t believe I’ve been worried about you all week when you were just lying to me the whole time.”
“I- I wasn’t lying-”
Reki glared at Langa through her fingers.
“-I wasn’t lying the entire time. I really was busy painting that first day.” Langa trailed off weakly.
“I’m not sure if you can tell, Langa, but I’m pretty pissed right now.”
Langa could definitely tell but had just thought it prudent to not mention. On some level she had been expecting to get caught at some point. Really she was surprised it had taken this long.
But Langa had already spent all week being upset at herself, and Reki’s yelling was starting to irk her. Nothing Reki could say would be worse than what Langa had already been telling herself.
“You’re overreacting”
“I’m overreacting!? You’re the one that's been sneaking around behind my back, lying to me, and hanging out with Miya!”
“Well, it sounds bad when you put it that way.”
“It sounds bad, because it is bad! What did I do? Did I do something to make you hate me?!”
“No!”
It was quite the contrary actually.
Reki threw her hands up in the air. “What is this all about then? Is it about that kiss?”
Langa flinched.
“Cause you were doing a pretty good job of pretending it never happened. I didn’t mind playing along.” Reki continued, stepping forward and jabbing a finger into Langa’s shoulder. “But I am over it. What is your deal!?”
“I- I was just-” Hearing Reki verbally acknowledge the kissing incident was surreal.
“Do you regret it that much that you can’t face me anymore?” Reki fumed.
“No! Well, yes. But-”
Reki stared incredulously, looking as though it was taking every ounce of willpower she had to not slam her head into a concrete wall.
“What does that even mean?” She snapped.
“I don’t know.” Langa answered immediately.
“God! You’re so frustrating.” Reki seethed, stepping closer. Langa was frozen, scared to move for fear of upsetting Reki further. “Is that stupid kiss really what this is all about?”
“Wh-”
Reki grabbed Langa’s face and yanked her into a rough kiss. Langa barely had a moment to process what was happening before Reki was pushing her away.
Langa’s heart was racing a mile a minute. Part of her was a little giddy at kissing Reki again. But most of her was overwhelmed and confused. None of this made any sense. She didn’t know why this was happening. She felt confused and guilty, like she was in trouble.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
“I dont know!” Reiki’s voice cracked and her angered facade crumbled. She sunk down to the ground, her face stricken with confusion and stress that rivaled Langa’s.
Langa languished. She had been telling herself it wasn’t a big deal for the past week, trying to get over whatever romantic feelings she held for Reki. And all the progress she had made this week was shattered in an instant.
Langa had a thousand things to say. That she had been fantasizing about kissing Reki for months prior. That she enjoyed it. That she desperately wanted to do it again. That she had been tearing herself up for weeks, ashamed and berating herself for acting on impulse, only for Reki to turn around and return the action. That fleeing the country to start a new life in Canada was starting to sound mighty appealing.
Reki had seemed perfectly content ignoring the incident and now that she had confronted her about it, the situation had turned super weird. Not for the first time this week, Langa felt another wave of guilt wash up against her at knowing she had caused Reki such stress and confusion.
Langa sat down on the grass next to her. Then said softly, “I’m sorry, it really was an accident.”
“The kiss?”
She nodded.
Reki sighed, “I didn’t care about that Langa. I mean I did, but I’m mostly just upset that you were avoiding me. I’m so confused, and like, hurt that you didn’t care enough to talk about it with me.”
“I thought you wanted me to ignore it. That was super awful of me to kiss you out of nowhere like that.”
“It wasn’t that awful.” Reki said softly, picking at the grass. “Just- … a heads up would’ve been nice. Ask next time.” Reki pressed her lips together, her gaze focused intently on the ground.
Langa’s head was blank, her heart pounded against her chest, as if desperately trying to tell her something, but Langa was unable to form a coherent thought.
“Like… ask if I can kiss you next time?” Langa asked hesitantly.
“Yeah”
“Why?”
Reki shrugged and yanked a clump of grass out of the ground.
Langa’s heart beat faster and faster yet. Thinking of the right thing to say was proving difficult. Her palms were growing damp and it was all she could do to stare at Reki’s profile, still focused on the ground. Her eyes shifting and her fingers fidgeting, ripping up blade after blade of grass.
“Can I kiss you?” Langa blurted out.
And before she had the time to regret the request, Reki looked up at her. She made direct eye contact, her eyes flickered down slightly, then back up, then she nodded.
Langa leaned forward, and closed the short distance between them, lightly pressing her lips against Reki’s. Reki leaned in and reciprocated the action. Her heart seemed to stop pounding violently and instead bounced around her chest in joy.
The kiss was light and simple, but it lingered. And when they both pulled away, she scanned Reki’s face. Reki didn’t recoil in shock, but flashed a quick shy smile.
Langa finally exhaled, then sat back and buried her head in her knees. The adrenaline was quickly fading, leaving her feeling a bit faint.
“Hey, Reki?” Langa mumbled.
“Yeah?”
“I like you.” The words slipped out.
It was no use trying to pretend that she didn’t. No amount of time spent avoiding Reki would have changed that. At this point, she felt like she owed it to her to let her know. Every one of her nerves was buzzing as she confessed what she had hidden for so long.
“Like, a lot. Like, for months now.” Langa continued.
“I kinda figured.” Reki said.
Langa lifted her head from her knees and looked at Reki, her face was flushed and she moved to mirror Langa’s position, hugging her knees to her chest.
“To be honest,” Reki said, “I hadn’t given it much thought before this week. Romance and all that.” Reki perched her head on her knees and stared intently at the horizon, where the sun was getting ready to set. “But after you kissed me last week, I started to think that maybe I could like you? Or that maybe I already did like you?”
Langa felt a surreal feeling of hope building up in her core, so intense it scared her.
“I don’t really know. But for what it’s worth, I think I do like kissing you.” Reki said, turning back to look at Langa again. Her expression was just about as nervous as Langa felt.
“That’s good to know.” Langa said.
And they both exchanged a small smile.
***
They sat on the grass for a while, long after the sun set. With only the sound of cicadas buzzing and their own voices carrying through the humid summer air.
They talked about the homework they had due over the weekend. They talked about what they would tell Miya, Joe, and Cherry the next day. They talked about the weather, painting, and their next shift together at work.
Reki talked emphatically about the skateboard she was designing at the moment, gesticulating as she described her ideas. The twinkle she got in her eye when she got excited about skating made Langa’s little heart soar, and now that Reki knew how she felt, she didn’t feel the need to suppress the smile it invoked anymore.
Things between them were back to normal. Except now Langa didn’t feel the suffocating weight of keeping her crush a secret anymore. She had confessed and the world hadn’t ended. They could have the same conversations, hang out the same way, but now Lagna felt light as a feather knowing that Reki was okay with kissing her.
Reki trailed off noticing Langa, and raised an eyebrow. With a lopsided smile she said “What’s got you so smiley?”
‘You’ Lagna thought to herself. She thought about telling Reki that right now she felt the happiest she had felt in weeks. That she was still giddy from the relief of confessing to her. That she was already mentally picking out a color scheme for their wedding.
Instead, Langa sat up straight and said intently “Can I kiss you again?”
Reki’s face flushed but she seemed only a little taken aback before she laughed.
“Maybe you don’t need to ask every time.” Reki said.
Langa stared at her, unsure if she should take that as confirmation to move ahead.
Then Reki smiled, rolled her eyes a little, and leaned forward to kiss Langa.