Chapter Text
How dare thou wish death upon my son
TESTICULAR TORSION ‼️‼️ / NO MY BALLS - Lucifer / Diavolo (their private chat)
You can hang him in the closet. That’s where most hang themselves - Satan
Well yeah, I think humans are a superior species to plastic bags - MC
Blacked out. You know what that is / I don’t.. I don’t understand it on a deep level! / Did we not just watch a video of you passing out drunk yesterday? / I was.. I was acting! - Diavolo / Lucifer / Belphie / Lucifer
You can’t smoke a timer / That’s what you think / If you can smoke a timer you can smoke a. . . bomb..? - Satan / Mammon / Levi
Wh— who said SALTY COCAINE? - Lucifer
Bunny cocaine. I’m going to soak my feet in bunny cocaine / You're going to soak your WHAT?! - Asmo / Lucifer
She inhaled her vodka / Do you need the hind lick? - Levi / Mammon
OKAY EVERYONE. Time for the judging! So say-eth I - Diavolo
HE LOOKS LIKE A BRICK. HE LOOKS LIKE THE SOLE OF A SHOE - Mammon
Next time you want something, I’m not buying it for you / Well, I have a job now, so it doesn’t matter / Good for you, do you want a cookie? / Oh, yeah, I would, actually - Lucifer / Mammon
You gave me sugar and stuck me in a trunk. What happens next is your guys’ fault! - Belphie
Stop— stop fUCKING THE HAMMOCK - Lucifer
Put your cocks in sports mode - Thirteen
What are you on / Too much crack / No, I mean your device, dumbass - Levi / Mammon
Busses are also weak against nukes - Diavolo
I don’t know what this is.. / I think that’s poison moss / Okay, understood. I’m gonna get a video of me touching it now - Mammon / Satan
There are some sad, overworked, childbearing mothers in those tacos - Mammon
Like, it looks like you’re limping, but you’re just— you’re just autistic - Diavolo
Guys help Diavolo just asked me what do I want for my birthday and I subconsciously said a will to live he’s not talking to me anymore - Lucifer
In this case, the male goes to retrieve food to bring to the female and young / We are not in a nature documentary - Satan / Levi
I want foood.. / Okay? Go food alone 🙄 - Solomon / MC
Yep, I’m watering the cats now. They don’t like it, for some reason… - Satan
Hold on— wait, we’re selling ME? - Diavolo
Your steel-clad armor is not going to save you from PTSD - Diavolo
I mean I have explosives now but— I’ll be careful - Diavolo
Who’s he gonna call!? / Ghost busters - Barbatos / Beel
She’s gonna come in / Rephrase that - Lucifer / Asmo
BURN THE WORLD. ANARCHY. WOOO! - MC