Chapter Text
I really wish that I could say that we just stopped there. One innocent kiss, and then we parted ways and stayed just friends.
But that didn’t happen.
We didn’t have sex, but things still went pretty far before I stopped things between us. Hands down pants, up shirts, lips everywhere, you get the idea.
I wish I could say that I hated it.
it was all so stupid, looking back on everything we did together. We were stupid kids. He was a piece of shit, and I was no better.
I went home immediately after our… whatever it was. I laid in bed, a smile across my lips, and no way of knowing what’s to come. I wish I could have seen everything coming.
I went to school on monday, chewing up my already fucked up lips as i anxiously waited for 8th period to roll around.
And, slowly but surely, gym class came.
I sat on the bleachers, as always, waiting patiently for Rodrick to come sit next to me.
He never came.
—
Rodrick wasn’t in school for the rest of that week. I wanted to text him, but I convinced myself not to. He was probably just sick, or had an emergency, or something of sorts. I barely know him, it would be quite rude of me to butt in. So, I gritted my teeth and bared through it.
I oddly missed him, in a way. Not in the way one misses their lover, but in the way a dog misses their owner. Waiting patiently by the door, eyes never parting from the knob until the fated time it turns and I am united with them again.
It’s so weird, I barely know the guy, yet I’m so subtly obsessed with him.
—
My mom and my little sister were out of town until next Sunday. Visiting family down in florida, must be nice. They get to go vacation, relax, have fun on the beaches of Destin. I don’t mind too much, I’ve never liked the beach, which is probably why Mom decided not to bring me. I don’t blame her either way, I’m a pain in the ass.
Around 3pm on Saturday, the moment they left, I dug into my stash of various substances and alcohols. And to my surprise, I found coke. I don’t remember how I got it, or how I haven’t used it all already, but fuck, was I going to enjoy it.
The next hour was lines, nosebleeds, and being fucked out of my mind. After finishing, I just laid on my bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling.
I still had glow in the dark stars spread across my ceiling, they don’t glow anymore, I wonder when they stopped. I think I put them up when I was 8 or 9. Dad helped me.
Shit. I don’t want to think about Dad. I’m still going to though.
Before I could spiral into a coke induced mental breakdown about my Dad, I realized my phone was buzzing in my pocket. Someone must have been calling me. I couldn’t feel my fingertips.
I pulled my phone from my pocket, I had missed the call. Two missed calls from Rodrick. Holy shit, he was calling me. Oh my god. I scrambled to sit up, calling him back as quickly as I could. My heart was pounding in my entire body.
Two rings and he picked up.
“Hey!” His voice rang out from the other side of the phone. Relief washed over me, it was so nice to hear his voice.
I couldn’t catch myself before the words spilled from my lips, “Come over… please,” I whispered into the phone, gripping it so tightly I thought that it might shatter to pieces in my palm.
He was quiet for a few seconds, dread clouded my chest. Please say yes. God, please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.
“Okay.”
The smile that spread across my lips was immeasurable. He was coming over.
And I think that was when I blacked out. I don’t remember if I hung up or not.