Chapter Text
I watched them from a distance, leaning against the edge of the balcony railing. The sun was just starting to set, casting a golden glow over the entire base, its warmth reflecting off the wide windows and casting long shadows across the courtyard. Sylus and Amethyst were sitting under the old oak tree, their heads close together, talking softly. Every now and then, they’d laugh—Amethyst’s laugh, clear and light, carried across the yard—and I couldn’t help but smile despite the tightness in my chest.
Luke was beside me, arms crossed over his chest, watching the two of them with a small smirk on his face.
“They look good together, don’t they?” Luke said, nudging me with his elbow. There was something light in his tone, like he’d known this would happen all along. He always had a way of taking things in stride, never letting the complications of life weigh him down.
I nodded, forcing myself to keep my expression neutral. “Yeah. They do.”
And it was true. They did look good together. Sylus with his brooding intensity, his dark gaze always so focused on her. Amethyst with her fierceness, her unspoken strength that had always drawn people to her without her even realizing it. They were an odd match in some ways, but it made sense. More sense than I’d care to admit.
Luke, sharp as ever, must have noticed something in my voice. His smirk faltered slightly, and he gave me a sidelong glance. “You okay, man?”
I shrugged, trying to play it off like it didn’t matter. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”
But Luke wasn’t convinced. He wasn’t the type to dig into people’s personal feelings unless he had to, but he knew me well enough to catch on when something was off. We had been through too much together for him not to notice. But instead of pushing, he just nodded, letting the conversation drift.
“Can’t believe it finally happened,” he said after a while, his voice thoughtful. “You think she’s happy?”
I watched as Amethyst rested her head on Sylus’s shoulder, her hand brushing against his, their fingers intertwining slowly. She looked peaceful. She hadn’t looked that way in a long time, not since everything went down with Sylus disappearing, coming back, leaving again. It had been a rollercoaster for all of us, but for her? It must have felt like a storm that never let up.
“She is,” I said quietly. “She deserves to be.”
Luke was quiet for a moment, and I could feel him looking at me, probably trying to read my expression. He always knew when something was up with me, even when I didn’t say a word. Finally, he sighed and turned back to watch them.
“They’ll figure it out,” Luke said, more to himself than to me. “You know, I always thought Sylus would screw it up, but maybe… maybe this time, it’ll stick.”
“Maybe,” I murmured.
But even as I said it, there was a heaviness in my chest that I couldn’t shake. It had been there for a while now, an ache I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, one that had started the moment I realized how I felt about her.
Amethyst.
The girl who could take down a dozen men without breaking a sweat, who never hesitated to stand up for the people she cared about. The girl who laughed at danger, who trusted so few, but when she trusted you, it was absolute. I had seen her at her lowest, when she was hurt and broken, and I had seen her at her best, fierce and unstoppable.
And somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with her.
I didn’t mean for it to happen. Hell, I wasn’t even sure when it started. Maybe it was when she saved my life on a mission we should’ve never survived. Maybe it was during one of those late-night conversations we had when neither of us could sleep. Or maybe it was the way she always made me feel like I belonged—like I wasn’t just another soldier or a body in the crowd. Like I mattered.
But it didn’t matter when it started. What mattered was that I had never told her. I never would.
Because Amethyst didn’t see me like that. Not the way she saw Sylus.
She loved him, and that was that.
I clenched my fists, the pain of it twisting in my chest like a knife. I hated myself for feeling this way, for wanting something that could never be mine. But it wasn’t something I could turn off. Every time I saw them together, it hurt—like a constant reminder of everything I could never have.
Luke spoke again, cutting through my thoughts. “You think we’ll ever get an invite to the wedding?”
I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
But even as I said it, the image of Amethyst in a white dress flashed through my mind, and I felt the familiar pang of jealousy that I’d been trying to suppress for months.
Luke didn’t notice. He was still watching them with that easy smile on his face, like he hadn’t a care in the world. I envied him for that. Luke was good at letting things go, at accepting life for what it was. Me? I wasn’t so good at that.
I couldn’t just let go.
“Hey,” Luke said, nudging me again. “You know she cares about you, right? Even if… you know.”
I stiffened, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
Luke gave me a knowing look. “Come on, Kieran. You’re not exactly subtle.”
I stared at him, feeling my heart pound in my chest. I had been so careful. I had tried to hide it, to keep it locked away where no one would notice. But Luke, damn him, had seen right through me.
“It’s not like that,” I said, my voice tight. “She’s happy with Sylus. That’s all that matters.”
Luke raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical, but he didn’t push. Instead, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “If you say so.”
We fell into silence again, watching as Sylus leaned in to kiss Amethyst softly. She laughed, pushing him playfully before pulling him in for another kiss. I looked away, the ache in my chest growing unbearable.
“She deserves to be happy,” I repeated, more to myself than to Luke.
And she did. She deserved everything good in this world. I just wished… I wished it could have been with me.
Luke clapped me on the shoulder, offering me a small smile. “You’re a good guy, Kieran. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
I forced a smile, though it felt hollow. “Yeah. Sure.”
The truth was, it didn’t matter how good of a guy I was. It didn’t matter how much I cared about her. She had made her choice, and that choice wasn’t me. I had known that for a while now, but knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
As the sun dipped lower on the horizon, I turned away from the sight of them, unable to watch any longer. It was too much.
“I’m heading inside,” I muttered, not waiting for Luke’s response.
I walked back into the base, the cool air of the hallway washing over me like a balm. But the ache in my chest stayed with me, like a weight I couldn’t shake.
I would never tell her how I felt. I would never ruin what she had with Sylus. That wasn’t the kind of man I was.
But it didn’t change the fact that I was in love with her.
And that I always would be.
No matter what.