Chapter Text
After a restless night and a nightmare, I find myself wandering outside, making my way to the tree I knew Towa was going to be under. I don’t see him at first, so I simply tilt my head back, taking in the sky above me, the swirl of stars, in many mesmerizing colors. It’s truly breathtaking—and almost too beautiful to be real.
Suddenly, something nudges me from behind, almost tipping me forward. I gasp, then laugh softly. “Hi, Towa!” Instead of stepping away, I lean back into his warm hold, resting my head against his shoulder, and look up to meet his gaze. His eyes are bright, a mix of surprise and joy at my reaction.
“Can you show me the stars?” I ask, giggling at his face, Towa isn’t one to be surprised easily.
“Of course! Dandelion, do you love the view too?” He chuckles, then gently pulls me down with him to stargaze together. The stars above shimmer like diamonds scattered across velvet. Towa starts his explanation and I focus on it, losing myself to his explanation and the sheer timeless beauty over us.
Waking up to the first rays of the sun, I sneeze at the flower Towa keeps pressing into my face. Groaning at the pain from sleeping in the ground, I open my eyes to see him, sitting by my side with that almost innocent smile that I can’t help but grin too. When he keeps the flower close to my face, I pick it from him.
“Hi, Towa. Thank you.” He hums contentedly and I stretch and yawn, sitting up in the hill. The night was perfect, not too hot, not too cold from being outside. Knowing it probably had to do with the Ghoul by my side, my heart warms up a little. “I will go put it in a vase, you need to go help Haru, right?”
After spending a long time relaxing in the grass, I head back to Clementia and get myself ready for the day. Sitting on the counter while eating cake, I scroll through the phone, looking for where I should go now. The fact that it was already so tardy in the day and no Ghoul was messaging me was strange. The phone in my hand goes off immediately after I thought that, like an cursed joke made by god.
“Hi, please confirm this is the honor student speaking.”
“Yes, it’s me, Ritsu.” Rolling my eyes at his words, I wonder why he does that everytime he calls. “How can I help you?”
“Today’s the day I finally get the captain’s signature, and my chances go up by fifty percent if you’re with me. So, I’m formally requesting your presence at the Sinostra casino.”
I stare at the ceiling, quietly weighing my options as I keep eating my cake. There’s nothing better to do, and ignoring him would probably just make things worse. After a moment, I sigh and give in.
“Not like there’s anything to lose when you’re going to die anyway,” I mutter, the usual filter not present. I hear a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the call, and I glance to the side, wondering why the ghouls always seemed so unsettled whenever I got a bit too honest. “See you soon.”
Getting off the call, I take my time eating the cake and getting to the casino. The first thing I see is Taiga spread in a chair like an old rag that was thrown, betting something in some weird game and I beeline until I’m by his side. He doesn’t care about me simply standing by his side.
“Hi, this is honor roll speaking. I’m with Taiga. Where are you?”
The mention of his name snaps Taiga’s attention to me, our eyes locking. His hand instantly darts inside his cloak, reaching for his gun. Without thinking, I clamp down on his wrist, holding it firm. Balancing the phone on my shoulder, I keep my gaze steady, meeting his fierce, predatory stare.
“I’m dumbass number two,” I say, voice low. “Nickname courtesy of you. Can we just skip this?”
I roll my eyes and lean in close, slipping my hand along Taiga’s wrist, inching it inside his cloak. He doesn’t stop me; he only narrows his eyes, his face hardening, testing my nerve.
“Oh, I remember now,” he murmurs, a dangerous edge to his voice. “Hi, Kitty.”
Perched on the arm of Taiga’s chair, I place his gun casually in my lap, keeping it within reach as we wait for Ritsu to show up. Taiga returns to his game, effortlessly winning hand after hand, both of us acting as if sitting this close is the most natural thing in the world. I shift slightly, watching the game unfold, and hum thoughtfully.
“What’s that?” I nod toward a small, well-worn plush clutched tightly by a student from Frostheim, his knuckles white around it.
“O-oh.” He stammers under our combined stares, his eyes darting nervously from the plush to us. After a pause, he clears his throat. “It’s, uh, a gift. From my girlfriend. There’s… a rumor that if someone who cares about you makes and gives you a plush, it’ll protect you.”
“Can I see it?” I ask, voice soft but curious. He hesitates, casting a wary glance at Taiga, who watches him silently, unreadable. Slowly, he extends the little plush to me, his hand shaking slightly. I take it, examining the handmade cat, noticing each uneven stitch, each tiny flaw that speaks of care. I hand it back with a small smile. “Thanks for showing me.”
Taiga’s gaze shifts from me to the student, then, without warning, he pushes his entire stack of winnings forward.
“All in. You, bet the cat.”
My mouth opens to protest, but I stop, glancing at the student to gauge his reaction. His eyes widen, flicking between the money and his precious plush, his resolve faltering. With a nervous gulp, he nods, setting the plush on the table.
After a few rounds, Taiga wins the final hand, and the cat plush is his. I tap my foot impatiently, my eyes narrowing at the student, unable to hide my irritation.
“If I were your girlfriend,” I say, voice dripping with disdain, “I’d stab you.”
The student’s face pales as he snatches up his remaining coins and hurries off, while Taiga chuckles, tossing the plush into my lap. I give him a sidelong glance, unsure whether to be grateful. Sighing, I pick it up, putting it inside my bag and going back to my phone, meaning to send Ritsu messages.
“Do you have a permit to carry a weapon?” Flinching in surprise, I almost let my phone fall as Ritsu appears out of nothing by my side. I choke down the insults and sigh, pointing to Taiga, who looked bored.
“Just to make sure he doesn’t shoot me,” I mutter, cracking my knuckles as I eye the gold gun still resting in my lap. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I pick it up, examining it closely. “How do you even disarm this? I—”
Before I can finish, the world tilts as Taiga grabs me roughly by the shoulder, pulling me down across his lap. The movement is quick, and in an instant, he confiscates the golden weapon from my hands.
“Kitty,” he says with a smirk, his voice low, “you really need to be more aware of dangers.” My head knocks against the other arm of the chair, and I clutch it, wincing from the pain. I groan, giving his chest a frustrated shove, but he just laughs, clearly amused by my reaction. I scoff at him.
“Captain, with this number of witness, even I can’t do much against a sexual harassment complaint.” Ritsu comments, making me roll my eyes as I get up. Correcting my uniform, I’m secretly glad I always go on lengths to make sure nothing is showing, something I learnt pretty quick in Darkwick is to be prepared to be throwed around. Looking up, I note how the tip of Ritsu’s ear are red and that makes me smile a bit.
“So. I need your signature, captain.” They start the normal back and forth and I take a step back to watch it unfold, crossing my arms. Glancing around, my eyes catch Romeo approaching and I immediately take a step back and turn, hoping to disappear in the crowd. Taking a step to run away, I almost curse when Ritsu grabs me by the shoulder.
“I need all you two in the VIP room for a VIM, now!” As I’m trying to pick Ritsu’s hands off my shoulders to run away, Romeo turns to me. “BB, you too.”
As they walk to the room, I’m the last one to enter, making a point to seat myself as far away from Romeo possible. He glances at me, curious at my behavior, but doesn’t comment in it. Taiga sits down close to me, spreading his legs until it’s touching with mine and crossing his arms. I glance at him in annoyance, but don’t comment it, looking at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.
“So, we have a mission.” Romeo’s voice cuts through the silence. I glance up at him slowly, then drop my gaze back to the floor, my mind racing.
“Can I go, then?” My voice is barely above a whisper as I stand. I glance at my phone, then look back at Romeo, waiting for a response. The room is so silent, I swear I could hear a pin drop. “I don’t need to inspect every Sinostra mission.”
Glancing around at their stunned faces, I don’t wait for the shock to turn into anger. Skirting around Romeo, I head straight for my dorm, not bothering with explanations. Ritsu hurries after me.
“What are you doing? We have an agreement—”
“Look, I’m not in my right mind right now,” I cut him off. “Jiro gave me some pills, and while I feel like I could survive facing Taiga—terrifying as he is, he’s never struck me as someone who’d actually kill me—that definitely doesn’t go for Romeo. He’s is too much of son of a bitch and not enough of a freak to hold me back.”
Tapping my foot against the ground, I take a slow, deep breath and look up at the sky, wondering when these impulses will finally stop. Glancing back at the stunned Ritsu, I correct my posture and my hair.
“So, Ritsu. As your business partner, I need to be away from them. He’s just not as bad as—”
“Oh ho ho, look who’s suddenly got some guts,” Leo’s high-pitched voice cuts in, accompanied by that laugh—if you can even call it that. The second I catch sight of him, my shoulders sag, and a loud, unrestrained groan escapes me. Just the sound of him makes my skin crawl. I clench my jaw, feeling my pulse hammer once, twice, trying to resist the urge to roll my eyes straight to the back of my head.
I let out a slow breath, half a sigh. “Are you immortal?” I tilt my head, feigning curiosity. Leo’s eyebrows shoot up, but he recovers quickly, shaking his head.
I click my tongue, eyes narrowing. “How unfortunate.” If only I could ask Rui to give him a real tight hug.
I start to walk away without a word. One, two, three steps. My feet move automatically, the sounds of my steps growing distant, like they belong to someone else. By twenty, my vision starts to blur, and I feel a prickling at the corners of my eyes. Focus. Count. Twenty-five, six, seven. My pace quickens as if I'm trying to escape, but from what, I can’t tell. The world feels like it’s closing in, heavy, pressing, adrenaline rushing at me like a semi-truck on a dark road. I want to run, but I don’t know why. Don’t think. Just walk.
Thirty-one. There’s a patch of grass growing between cracks in the concrete. It seems calm, resilient. I wish I could be like that. Thirty-five, thirty-six. My breaths are deep and shaky. Thirty-nine. Gradually, the air starts to feel lighter, my steps slowing. My breathing evens out, and I glance down at my phone, the screen still blurred. I take a long, grounding breath, finally able to see clearly again. Pressing into call.
After tough negotiations with the Chancellor, I managed to secure a mini vacation. Almost had to sell my soul for it, but it worked. Now, sprawled on the bed, I stare at the ceiling, which starts to look strange after too long. The silence around me feels unnatural, making my hands itch with restlessness. I remember someone once saying that keeping busy is the key to inner peace.
My gaze drifts to the small kit I picked up from the campus store—a simple stitching set, the kind for making tiny plush keychains. I wonder if this will make me feel any better. Stitching is tricky; crafting a tiny plush even trickier. But the blaring music from the YouTube tutorial and the sting of pricked fingers, after stabbing myself more times than I can count, somehow brings a strange sort of calm.
Romeo’s, of course, had to be the most colorful—the little peacock in my hands practically sparkles with all the glittery fabric scraps I could find. I chuckle to myself as I start on Alan’s, a floppy-eared dog. These tiny plushies are oddly fun, each one a small, silly tribute. Twenty-one little friends for the twenty-one nightmares in my life.
I glance around the room, secretly breaking the fourth wall. You know what I’m talking about, right? Yes. Yes, you do.
After weeks of sleeping, eating, doing ghoul’s side quests and stitching in the night until my hands were sore and my fingers were covered in band-aids, they were ready. Into each of them I put an string so they could use it as a keychain. Smiling proudly, I take a quick photo of them and post in my socials. Sighing, I make the call I’ve been dreading over.
“Hi, Haku! Can I talk to you?”
“Sometimes… I just get overwhelmed.”
The scent of tea drifts up, warm and soothing, as I take a long, steadying breath. Hotarubi's calm atmosphere wraps around us, but I still can't bring myself to meet their eyes—it’s been weeks since I’d spoken to either of them after that outburst. I sense Subaru’s anxious gaze, wondering what happened to me that day. Haku’s presence is steady beside him, layered with deep worry. Slowly, I push the keychains toward them, an unspoken apology for the silence and the emotions I couldn’t control.
“A chicken?” My laugh is hoarse at Haku’s question. I look in a apologetic way to Subaru.
“Sorry, It just fitted. Ah.” I glance around the room for Zenji, but he isn’t around. Glancing back at Haku, I give him an awkward smile. “Can you give Zenji his later?”
“Sure.” He sighs before saying it. Picking up my phone, I show them my keychain: a ghost using a flower crown. Haku extends his hand to see closer and I give it to him. “A ghost? Shouldn’t that be more fitting for us?”
“Nah. I like it. There’s a hidden dark joke in there..” Staring deeply at the floor, I try to fit a joke in having a ghost represent me, but it scapes me. So I turn to Subaru, smiling gently, my entire being relaxing as if drawn into his calm. “I’m sorry for what you two saw. Do not take it for the heart, it was just a moment of panic.”
“Are you sure?” Subaru’s question comes cautiously.
“I’m sure I’m fine right now.” My answer is rushed. “I become easily uncomfortable at the questioning though.” My eyes flit around the room, searching for a change of topic. A yawn escapes before I can stop it, catching me off guard. I blink, startled, then chuckle softly. “Would it be okay if I take a nap here? It’s peaceful, and I’m a bit tired.”
“Of course you can. You could use one of the rooms we have here…” Subaru begins, but I wave him off dismissively, already settling myself on the floor beside the kotatsu.
Subaru leans over, brows knit with concern. “That can’t be comfortable.”
“It’s fine. It’s warm in here,” I reply, draping an arm over my eyes to block out the light as I adjust for maximum coziness.
“Come on, Honor. Just use one of the rooms—it’s empty,” Haku chimes in now.
Peeking out from under my arm, I stare at them. “If you two don’t pipe down, I’ll just use you both as pillows.”
The words tumble out lazily, but they have their intended effect. I can practically hear Subaru lean back, probably flushed red, while Haku shifts closer, clearly amused—and even considering it.
“Are you threatening us with a reward?” he asks, his tone sly, his grin almost audible. I chuckle, the sound being swallowed by the patter of rain against the window. The rhythm is steady, soothing, like a lullaby. My thoughts grow fuzzy, the edges of the room dimming as the rain seeps into my consciousness, filling it with peace.
The weight of sleep pulls at me, and the world blurs, slipping out of focus. My body sinks deeper into stillness, my mind floating...
Haku watches the steady rise and fall of the chest, breaths even, soft. He lets the silence stretch before lifting his gaze to Subaru. “What do you think about it?”
“Which part?” Subaru asks back, his voice just above a whisper. His gaze drifts to the honor student before going back to the homework in front of him.
“I was just thinking about all of this. As ghouls, we tether ourselves to the idea of being human. But when it really matters, it feels like we forget the most fundamental things that truly make someone human.”
He takes a measured sip of tea, his posture perfect, before continuing.
“We understand the situation Honor’s in, but we’ve lost the ability to be as empathetic as we should be. I didn’t even realize we were pushing too far—though I probably should have known how it felt because I was once a human.”
“Yes. It’s strange, isn’t it? Knowing how deep emotions can go, yet forgetting it for the sake of our own greed. I wonder if this is what a demon feels like. Maybe that’s why we are prone to violence?” Subaru answers in deep calm. Inside, this conversation makes their skin crawl. Even the worst of ghouls hate the idea of becoming something akin to the things that turned them.
“Surely it is. That’s why even though it’s tough to admit, the idea of tying down a human to us was the best idea this school ever had. It keeps us in the edge, having someone prone to breaking around. It shows how different from a human we are, while also teaching how to protect and cherish the humanity.”
“If the objective of having a inspector is to have us on a leash, shouldn’t you put space between?” Subaru’s tone is uncharacteristically pointed, his brow arching as he gestures toward Haku. The irony is hard to miss—Haku’s words carried a condemning edge, but even so he sat even closer to the sleeping inspector in question.
Haku merely snorts in response, lifting his teacup to motion toward the stack of homework in front of Subaru. “Weren’t you the one who’s always saying you’d rather do this stuff in your quiet room?”
In turn, he doesn’t answer, simply chuckling while opening a book, still doing his homework. The silence comes back, both of them silently and patiently waiting for the honor student to wake up. Minutes quickly turns into hours, and in a jolt, I wake up, bumping my shoulder in the corner of the Kotatsu when waking up in the panic.
“Fu—Oh. Hi, Haku.” I cut myself off mid-swear, groaning as I roll to the side—only to nearly jump out of my skin when I spot Haku lying next to me, scrolling through his phone. He glances up, startled by my sudden movement, and his hand instinctively reaches for my shoulder.
“What happened? Did you dream you were falling?” His touch is gentle as he rubs my shoulder, the warmth of his palm and his closeness catching me off guard. I shrink back slightly, my cheeks heating.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally that,” I stammer, laughing nervously. Embarrassed, I quickly sit up, pressing a hand to my face in an anxious gesture that earns a chuckle from Subaru. “I’m going to be all black and blue soon if I continue like this.”
“That’s… Not ideal.” Subaru comments, staring at my shoulder in a quizzical look. “Do you wake up like this every time?”
“No.” I answer while clutching my head. Waking up in a start always makes me have a headache.
“Why, my dear. You shouldn’t lie.” Zenji cuts in smoothly, his voice laced with teasing amusement. “I’ve seen you even fall down from your bed more than once.”
The sound of his biwa accompanies the remark, making me flinch. I whip my head toward him, sitting in the corner of the room, fingers idly plucking the strings.
“Zenji! First of all, why were you watching me sleep? Second, don’t talk about my sleeping habits!” I snap, my protest quickly turning into a groan as the pounding in my head worsens. Defeated, I drop my face onto the kotatsu. “Dammit.”
“So.” Haku’s voice cuts through the tension, calm and unyielding. He’s moved closer, shifting from behind me to my side. “It’s normal for you to wake up by injuring yourself?”
“Not exactly. I’ve been having pretty bad nightmares ever since I came here, although this time was very tame. Normally I have sleep paralysis, but this time it was just like I was falling. I don’t even remember what I dreamed of.” When the pain finally subsides, I smile at him. “Maybe it’s because I wasn’t alone? For the first time, it feels like I actually slept.”
Haku’s expression softens, and he exchanges a glance with Subaru and Zenji. The silent conversation between them is almost palpable. Then, turning back to me, a small, mischievous smile tugs at his lips.
“If you say things like that,” he murmurs, “I might not have a choice but to kidnap you so you’ll always sleep here.”
“Mmhmm, agreed.” I reply softly, not bothering to cower in shyness. Being sleep deprived is truly something I hate.
“Oh.” Sitting correctly while scrolling through my phone, I glance up at Subaru. “Are you going to Obscuary today?
When Subaru answers by shaking his head in a no-motion, I simply nod while stretching myself. After some talks and Haku walking me back to Clementia, I look at the afternoon sky, debating if I should go to Obscuary today or later. Shrugging my shoulders, I call Lyca.
After some playful bribes and Rui ordering Lyca around, he agrees to pick me up in front of the gates to the dormitory. Not willing to try walking alone in the woods.
“You smell sweeter than normal.” Instead of saying hello, I get greeted by Lyca coming way too close to smell my scent.
“Really? I guess it’s because I slept well today. I’m a good mood.”