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Angel : Here’s some advice: When Charlie asks you to do something, tell her you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless it's to do with statistics.
Angel: That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.
Husk: When I'm in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don't have to shake hands.
Alastor: I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Velvette: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Husk: If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
Husk: How’s a cocktail sound, Angel?
Angel: I don't know, I usually finish before they get a word in.
Vaggie: Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
Angel: There's just two things keeping me from dancing on that dance floor.
Husk: Your feet?
Charlie: Describe your perfect date.
Sir Pentious: That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
Alastor: I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.
Vaggie: Being the designated shopper means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.
Lucifer: Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as falling from heaven, but it hurts.
Lucifer: There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
Husk: Surely you can’t be serious.
Angel: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley
Alastor: Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.'
Lucifer: I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Charlie: I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Lucifer: Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’
Angel: When Husk asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
Charlie: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Vaggie: That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Angel: I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later.