Chapter Text
October 23rd, 1942
Donna woke up, looking around the unfamiliar place she was in. She felt exhausted. She was laying in a hospital bed, surrounded by curtain walls, her shoulder wound wrapped in fresh bandages. It still ached numbly but it was nowhere near as painful as before. It felt good to know she and Blame had made it to medical care.
Wait.
BLAME.
Donna looked around frantically, not seeing the thug anywhere. She tried pushing herself up only to fall back down on the bed with a loud yelp. The noise seemed to have alerted someone as a nurse came rushing through the curtains
“Nein, no getting up now!” the blond nurse said in a thick german accent, pushing Donna back down
“Where is-” Donna stopped abruptly. They were in a German hospital, she had to stay undercover. She cleared her throat, putting on an accent “Vere is he?”
“Vere is who ?”
Donna’s face went pale. Had Blame not made it? Had she killed him on the way?!
“Oh! You must be talking about the man who came in wiz you?” A doctor said as he entered through the curtains.
“Did he survive?!” She asked hurriedly.
“Yes.” The doctor sighed. “Unfortunately though, he suffered severe trauma to the head, we’re currently treating his injury so his brain doesn’t swell and kill him. But he is stable
Donna exhaled a shaky breath.
“We figured it safer to keep the bullet in for now. We could remove it with surgery but it could aggravate his condition or even kill him. And it would be costly. And speaking of costs! Will you be the one paying for the mizter’s hospital bills?”
“W-what?” She stuttered. She didn’t have a single penny on her person. “I’m, Y- Ya! Ya, I’ll be the one paying” She forced on a smile.
“Wonderful! And z’your name?”
“Um, Mizter and Mizzes Kickler!”
“Perfect” The doctor wrote the names down on his clipboard and went to leave with the nurse.
“Wait! Can I see him now?”
The doctor turned with a big smile “Pay the bill first, and we’ll see about that, ya?” He slammed the receipt on Donna’s good shoulder and left.
The nurse followed, giving a suspicious look before leaving.
Donna brought the small piece of paper to her face and read the numbers. She let her head fall back onto the pillows, clenching her eyes shut.
She had to find 321$ in the next 24 hours or they were both royally fucked.
- - -
March 16th, 1952
When Donna entered the hospital this time, she was determined. She had spent all of last night in the library, reading about anything she could find on head injuries. She was ready. With exercises and stretches, Blame’s recovery started today.
She sat down in the chair next to his bed and gently woke him up with a small shake of his shoulder.
“Good morning” she said with a smile.
Blame slowly opened his eyes and gave a grumpy groan at being woken up.
Donna got out her book she had borrowed on brain injury survivors. She opened it to a page with a list of question exercises to help confused patients. She read him the first one.
“What is your name?”
Donna winced after reading it, the fake name could be a problem.
“…Her… huh.. Herdez? I du..no”
Yeah. Next question.
“What year is it?”
Donna winces again. Yeah, she definitely should’ve reviewed these questions before. Who even wrote these? Fucking bullshit questions. She skimmed through her list until she found one that could work.
“What month are you born in?”
Blame grumbled something out before turning around on the bed. A few seconds later, Donna could hear him snoring softy.
Well.
She was happy he tried answering one at least. Progress was a slow thing sometimes, she reminded herself.
- - -
March 17th, 1952
Today, Donna got back into Blame’s regular stretches. The entire time he was in the coma, every day, herself or a doctor helped him unstiffen his body with stretches while he was unconscious. She had taken a break ever since he had woken up but she figured she should get back to them now.
While he lay on his back, Donna folded and unfolded each of his limbs one by one.
Even with Blame awake, the stretches went well, the only minor issue being a few winces here and there from Blame.
Blame fell back asleep as soon as they were done and Donna felt bad to wake him up to practice more questions on her list.
- - -
March 18th, 1952
“What day of the week are we? Wednesday or Sunday?
“Mm… no”
“Wednesday or Sunday?
“Hm.”
“Ok” She just moved on to a different question. “What do you do for a living, Blame?”
“M… pow- ranger”
“You’re a ranger?” Had he been something like a park ranger in his past? Donna had difficulty believing that.
“Yea… red ranger”
“Very well then.” Donna accepted it. An answer was an answer, she went to the next question…
- - -
March 19th, 1952
Donna took one of the flowers from the vase she brought him earlier this week. She placed the daisy on Blame’s leg.
“Can you grab the flower, Blame?”
He didn’t seem to understand the request.
Donna guided his hand on top of the flower. To her delight, Blame closed his hand with spasming muscles and gripped the stem. It was around the flower, yes, but not nearly closed tight enough for him to actually grab it.
“Yes! Yeah good job!” She jumped in excitement.
She put her hands around his to strengthen his hold. She guided the hand holding the flower up to his face for him to smell. There was a moment of fearful recognition in Blame’s eyes before he sneezed violently.
Donna winced “Ah, my bad”
He sneezed again, his eyes watering at the pollen.
“Wan’ me to pass?!” He yelled hoarsely then coughed.
She rolled her eyes “You’ll be fine, princess”
She brought him a glass of water. He had puffy eyes and was sneezing for the next few hours until it eventually died down.
Donna took note to stick to plastic flowers next time.
- - -
March 20th, 1952
Blame was getting his feeding tube removed today. He had been deemed stable enough to hold down food on his own and Donna couldn’t wait to finally put some solid food in him.
The removal had gone well, apart from Blame’s fussiness.
“Aaand we’re almost all the way out. Please stop kicking me.” Henry said tiredly.
Blame gagged. “Fuuu- ‘m not gay, dawg! ‘M not, get t’fuck out!”
“Please stop talking, it’s just making things worse.”
Blame opened his mouth to speak but just gagged again, the doctor finally pulling out the rest of it from his nose.
He spit out some mucus and mumbled out. “Y’need t’ eat more pine.. apple, man”
A few hours later, Donna sat next to his bed, spoon-feeding him some soup. He grimaced at the taste and tried to dodge the spoon.
“Come on, ya only got half the bowl left. Open up” Donna grumbled.
He reluctantly agreed for about a minute before restarting his fuss again. Donna groaned.
“Tas’t like dog shit-“
She took the opportunity to shove a spoonful in while his mouth was open. Blame grumbled but swallowed.
“See? You’re fine, princess” She huffed out.
She got through most of the bowl before deciding to spare Blame from the few last sips of soup.
- - -
March 22nd, 1952
Blame was having oatmeal for lunch.
Weirdly enough he hadn’t said a word today. The lack of complaining was unusual but it did help Donna get through the entire bowl.
She moved on to physical exercises. Stretching his thin arms and legs without complaint and helping him sit all the way up for a few seconds.
While she got her notes out for his rehab training, Blame had fallen asleep. Donna bit her lip anxiously. She tried out a few questions but not even a word came out.
She pulled the covers over Blame’s body again. She ran a worried hand through his hair and lowered the lights.
- - -
March 23rd, 1952
Donna woke up to a soft hand on her shoulder. She looked up at her fiancé, standing next to the bed, gently shaking her awake.
She had been staying more often at Henry’s lately as it was a pretty short walk to the hospital. He was buttoning his coat. It was still dark outside.
“Wha’s going on?” She said groggily
“Hospital called. They said George had another seizure. I have to go check how he’s doing.”
That was enough to fully wake Donna.
“Do you wanna come with me?”
“Y-Yeah, of course, of course! I’m- just give me a minute” She quickly gave Henry’s hand on her shoulder a tight squeeze and got out of bed. She grabbed the first she saw in the wardrobe, not caring if it was one of Henry’s dress shirts.
They made their way outside.
“We’ll take my car.” He said.
It was 3:30 in the morning when they got to his room.
Two nurses were already there at Blame’s bedside. Fortunately, Blame’s seizure had ended. But now the nurses were restraining his weak body as he desperately tried to toss and turn while emitting pained sounds.
Donna stood in the corner and watched them work. Henry checked his vitals and any sign he may have injured himself. They gave him pain medicine and an anti seizure drug and it seemed to make him relax again.
Once the nurses had left, Henry walked up to her. She took her fiancé’s hand.
“Thank you, I’ll stay here for the night”
He frowned “Donna-”
She cut him off with a kiss to his lips. “I’ll stay. Thank you, Henry”
“Just… he isn’t the whole world, you don’t have to be there all the time. Make sure to lookout for yourself too, Donna”
“I will.”
- - -
Donna was exhausted.
Blame’s condition hadn’t gotten any better. He wasn’t talking anymore. He was either sleeping, staring wide-eyed at nothing, crying for reasons Donna couldn’t find or fucking seizing again. She had been informed they might have to put his feeding tube back if his condition didn’t improve.
It was 8pm the same day and Donna wished she could go back home and rest. She was watching Blame sleep, laying so still in his slumber. She had tried to leave a few times already but each time he’d seize again or start whimpering again.
Each time Blame closed his eyes, Donna feared they’d never open again.
The more time went on, the more Donna learned she wasn’t made for this shit; comfort, taking care of people.
She was a soldier, not whatever this was.
She felt bad to admit it this had been so much easier back when Blame was still in the coma. Back when she wasn’t spending every hour of her life at the hospital, back when she wasn’t clinging on so desperately to hope.
A knock at the door.
Henry walked in, a look of disappointment already on his face. But, also one of compassion.
He pulled himself a chair next to her. Donna kept her eyes on the resting man on the bed.
“I was kinda hoping to not see you here…”
Donna scoffed. “I promise I tried to leave…”
She didn’t need to look at him to know he probably didn’t believe her.
Henry lifted a hand to rub at Donna’s back. It felt good. She kept her gaze forward, her eyes landing on Blame’s softened features as he slept. His closed eyelashes tangled together, his lips slightly open. His face. Too pale.
Her attention returned to the hand on her back.
Maybe Henry should be in charge of Blame’s recovery, maybe he was right.
He knew how to comfort her.
He knew how to take care of people.
And she… couldn’t do shit right apparently.
She ran a hand across her face, her shoulders slouching.
Henry spoke “How about we take a little break? Go on a date night, talk about other things that aren’t George related. About how you’re doing, how your audition went.”
“Audition?”
“Yeah, your um… I think you said it was a shampoo commercial?”
Her eyes widened in horror. She’d rescheduled that audition to next Sunday.
That was 2 days ago.
A small “ Oh .” broke out of her. That role was her big break…
She let her face fall in her hands. She was so tired. Henry rubbed her back as she hid her tears behind her hands.
- - -
They dropped the date night, opting to just go home instead.
It took a lot of effort for Donna to leave Blame alone but with enough of Henry’s insistence and Donna’s exhaustion, they finally made it to the car.
Once at Henry’s, he offered to make dinner and take care of her, she’d had a rough day. Donna insisted she’d cook. She didn’t want to be treated like she was weak.
Once they’d eaten, she fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed.
- - -
She woke up and the clock read 10:30pm. She could hear Henry on the phone in the other room, sounding exasperated. She caught a very familiar name mentioned in the conversation. It didn’t take much to put two and two together.
Donna got out of bed, got dressed and met Henry in the living room just as he got off the phone. He didn’t say anything, didn’t protest, just offered Donna a ride to the hospital.
- - -
Blame was having a major breakdown, screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. They’d tried to sedate him but when he woke back up, his state was even worse, he even tried to fight the nurses as best he could manage.
Donna could hear his broken worldless wails from across the hallway before she even got in the room.
The sight that awaited her inside wasn’t pretty. Blame’s covers were tangled in his legs as he tossed and turned. A nurse was at his side, ensuring he didn’t hurt himself. She kept her hands off him unless strictly necessary, as touch seemed to upset him further. Blame’s eyes were puffy and red, face wet with tears and snot, expression twisted in distress.
Donna sighed deeply. She let the nurse know she would calm him down on her own. The nurse nodded and left the room.
She made her way to the side of the bed.
Blame sobbed hard and ugly. He didn’t see her. Well, Donna doubted he could see anything through the thick tears in his eyes. It was hard to watch without breaking down herself, but she pushed it down.
“Blame?” She tried.
He didn’t hear her, continuing to sob.
“Blame.” A bit louder this time.
He shook his head frantically, blubbering nonsense between sobs.
“Blame , please . Look at me”
“dunno wha- dun- d- wha-“ he sobbed.
“ Blame ” The desperation in Blame’s voice was starting to bleed into hers. She tried to touch his arm.
He gasped, flinching away. “No! I don- don- where-“
His breathing was more frantic now. Fuck! She couldn’t touch him, couldn’t reach him, couldn’t calm him down…
“Blame! Please!”
“I don’ know wha’s- I don’- I don-“ he was getting louder, more frantic.
“Just listen, please, it’s okay, you need to breathe!”
“I don’- I don’- I don’!”
“BLAME GODDAMNIT JUST LISTEN TO ME!”
That got his attention. He stopped abruptly, his wide eyes meeting hers before he restarted sobbing a moment later, just a bit quieter.
Donna felt horrible that her yelling had worked. He didn’t deserve to be yelled at. He didn’t deserve to get shot into a fucking coma, he didn’t deserve to be sobbing so brokenly like this. He deserved better than her.
She dropped to her knees next to the bed. He was still sobbing sad broken sounds, and Donna was praying these quieter ones weren’t because she hurt him.
She pleaded “I’m sorry, it’s okay, it’s okay”
He didn’t understand.
“Blame, please” her voice cracked
He sobbed, staring up at the ceiling.
“ Princess? Please… ”
He wailed.
A thick knot formed in her throat and before she knew it, the fucking dam broke. She buried her face in the mattress and burst into tears. The sound of Blame’s sobs blending in with her own.
She didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t anything she could do. Blame was even worse- He was even worse than his first day.
They’d done no progress. She missed her audition for nothing. Why had she thought she could do this on her own?! She’d made things worse! How could she have been so fucking stupid!!
A hand landed on hers and gripped it comfortingly. She squeezed back, thankful for the kind touch…
She gasped, her head shooting back up.
Blame was holding her hand.
Their eyes met, both faces wet with tears. He’d gone quiet, looking back at her, his face painted with…
Concern.
He…
He saw her. He was aware of her. He was aware enough to see she was upset and to know to comfort her.
He was gripping her hand! He had the strength to hold on to her hand!! He was-
“Blame? You with me, buddy?”
She carefully brought a gentle hand to his cheek.
Maintaining eye contact, tears still falling down his cheeks, he hiccuped. “I don’ know wha- I dunno what's going.. on”
“Okay. Okay. That’s okay. You’re okay.” She combed his hair out of his face. “Shhh.”
“Wha- what’s- wha- on?”
“Hey, hey, you’re safe.” she used the softest voice she could muster “You’re in the hospital. You were hurt.”
“Someon- hurt? What?”
“You were hurt. But it’s okay now, you’ll be okay.”
“..who?”
“You.” She gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, and managed a smile “You can rest now.”
Donna wasn’t sure how much he had gotten out of their exchange but as he looked up at her, tears were no longer falling down his face.
He continued to look in her eyes like she had all the answers in the world.
He only broke eye contact when his eyes began to droop with sleep.
She untangled the covers from his legs, hand never letting go of his. Unbothered by the tug of sleep, she stayed up all night, sitting with her back effortlessly straight and strong, watching over him and protecting him through the night.